Loving in His Way

by T. K. Chapin

  Closing the door, she went down the hallway and out into the living room. As she sat down on the couch, she pulled out her Bible and continued her daily reading in 2 Corinthians 4.

  But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.

  We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed;

  perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.

  We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus,

  so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body.

  2 Corinthians 4:7-10

  Pausing as she finished the chapter, she peered up at the ceiling and thought of all the hardships she had endured over the last month with the boys. She knew she wasn’t done with the hardships, but she was still basking in the small victory she had earlier at bedtime. She thought of Drew and how he would’ve been right there with her celebrating. She smiled and prayed out loud. “God, You are so good. Your power is on full display through these boys coming to live with me until Taylor gets out of rehab. It’s through Your amazing grace and mercy that they are here. It’s through Your power I am able to press forward and not fold under the difficulty. I know there are still two more months to go, but I already know it’s going to be okay. Just like Abraham who stepped out in faith and trusted in You, I will continue to trust and continue to have faith as I watch as You work. Thank You for not giving me what I want but giving me what I need. Your kindness continues to amaze me. I love You. Amen.”

  Rising from the couch, she put on a kettle of water in the kitchen for tea and looked at a photo she had of herself and Drew on the fridge. She smiled as she peered into his big brown eyes and recalled the day the photograph was taken. It was at the Blackfoot Fair on their second time ever seeing each other. She recalled how it felt to see him again after thinking she’d lost him forever. The electricity that filled every fiber of her being that day was unlike anything she ever had experienced or would experience again in her life. Then her thoughts drifted to Brian, how it felt when he picked up the phone earlier that night.

  The whistle on the kettle blew, pulling her out of her thoughts.

  Pouring the hot steaming water into her mug, she let her tea steep as her mind wandered to Brian again. Why’d it feel so good when he answered? she wondered. He was her boss, but he was also attractive and charming and provided her with an income when she needed it most. Warmth radiated in her chest as she recalled three days ago when she caught a glimpse of him walking out of his workout room without a shirt on. His muscles were ripped and sweat poured off his forehead and body.

  Taking her cup of hot tea, she went into the living room and sat down. Her breath shortened as a sinking feeling of betrayal set within her. What would Drew think? she wondered. He wouldn’t want me being drawn to another man. As she sipped on her tea, she began to pray to God about the emotions she felt stirring within her toward Brian. “God . . . Brian is kind and sweet, and he reminds me so much of the way Drew was, Lord. But I don’t feel right about having feelings for him. What should I do?”

  Silence permeated the living room. Turning her gaze toward the Bible, she thought of God’s Word. It was the mouthpiece in which He spoke to His people. She knew her marriage vows were until death, so why did she feel like it was a betrayal to have feelings for another man?

  At church the following Sunday, after service let out, she went up to the pastor who was shaking hands with people as they left the sanctuary.

  “Pastor Matt?”

  “Yes?”

  “I was wondering. My husband died four years ago, and I’m feeling like I’m ready to move on, but I feel a sense of betrayal inside me with that. Why is that?”

  “That’s natural and normal. You see that woman over there?” He directed his gaze toward an older blonde lady who was speaking with others in the foyer. “That’s Susan Lancaster. She heads the women’s ministry here at the church. She’s the one who can really talk to you more in-depth about it from a place of experience.”

  “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  Walking over to the woman, Courtney lifted a prayer asking God to give her an opportunity to get a word in before it was too late and she had to pick up the boys from Sunday school class with Brian. Upon her arrival at the people crowded around Susan, they all had finished talking to her right then and were leaving her.

  Raising her eyebrows, Susan smiled. “Hello. I don’t believe we’ve met.”

  “We haven’t.” Teary-eyed, Courtney hurried and wiped the tears from her eyes. “I lost my husband a few years ago and Pastor Matt said you might be able to help me.”

  “Oh, sweetie, I’m so sorry for your loss.” Susan stepped closer and wrapped her arms around Courtney immediately. Holding her for a long moment, she spoke love into her. “You’re so young to lose a spouse. Come sit with me for a moment.”

  “I have to get my boys.”

  “Hold on.” Pulling out her cell phone from her purse, Susan called someone right there in front of Courtney. “Hey, Brian. I’m speaking with Courtney for a moment, so please don’t get upset when she isn’t there to get her boys right away.” She paused for a moment then thanked him and hung up. Smiling at Courtney, she nodded. “There, we have time now.”

  Susan led Courtney over to a blue plush couch in the foyer of the church and they sat down together. Courtney told her about what was going on without using Brian’s name.

  “Oh, honey. It is entirely normal to feel like you are betraying your husband. You loved him dearly, I’m sure.”

  “Yes. He was amazing.”

  Susan nodded, her eyes closing slightly as she did. “My child, you are young. Was your husband a godly man?”

  “Very much so.”

  Patting her knee, Susan nodded. “He would want you to remarry then. Think about it. Do you think he’d want you to be miserable your entire life? To never love again? Was he selfish?”

  “No, he wasn’t selfish. In fact . . . he wrote a letter to me in the event that he died. He told me to remarry. I just don’t like feeling like I am betraying him.”

  “That will lessen in time, my dear.”

  “Yeah? How?”

  “You will come to realize that he will never be replaced. What you had with him was between you and him and God. Nobody else. That isn’t replaced by a new man, but instead, it’s a memory that you will take with you wherever you go in life.”

  “I never thought of it like that . . .” Courtney thought about telling Brian how she felt. “Should I tell my boss how I feel?”

  “That’s a decision you have to make. I cannot make that for you.”

  “Well, thank you for your time.” Rising from the couch, Courtney was about to leave to get the boys when Susan touched her arm, stopping her. “You should come to my ladies’ group.”

  She shrugged. “I don’t have anyone who can watch the boys.”

  “Childcare can be provided. Friendships are vitally important in any Christian’s life.”

  Raising an eyebrow, she nodded. “In that case, I’d love to go. When is it?”

  “Thursday nights at seven o’clock at my house here.” Walking over to a small table in the foyer, Susan picked up an informational card on the small group and handed it to her. “We’ll be seeing you there this Thursday.”

  “Absolutely.”

  Arriving at the Sunday school classroom to pick up the boys, she noted that Brian didn’t ask questions about her meeting with Susan. Instead, he complimented Blaze’s ability to sit still during snack time.

  “He’s really coming along. Both of them, really.”

  She smiled as she lifted both boys over the gate. “Thanks. Remember, you have that meeting with the Costco rep tomorrow at eight.”

  “That’s right. I almost forgot. Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome. See you in the morning. We’ll be there before you leave, probably.”
r />   “Sounds good! See you then.”

  Parking at Costco the next morning, Brian was a few minutes early and decided to review his notes and the data he had brought. Courtney had printed and organized the information for him that morning. Upon opening the folder, he found a small sticky note attached to the front page.

  He smiled as he pulled the sticky note off and stuck it to his dashboard. Continuing to study his notes for the meeting, he carefully went over every piece of data. If he could successfully convince Costco to carry his line of dog food, operations would move from his little warehouse on Sprague to a much larger facility. It could be a game changer. After he finished looking over the notes, he bowed his head and prayed.

  “God, if Costco is part of Your will for this company, let today’s meeting go well. If it is not, take it away and let it slip from my fingers. If You aren’t a part of it, I want nothing to do with it. I seek only to please You in all that I do. Amen.”

  Peering at the sticky note, he smiled again and added one more line to his prayer. “Thank you for sending Courtney and those boys into my life. Amen.”

  After the meeting and with no inclination in either direction from Mario, the Costco representative he met with, Brian stopped in at the warehouse for a quick visit then headed back to his house on the South Hill.

  Upon entering his house, he hung up his coat in the closet and went to find Courtney. She was in the kitchen preparing brunch. The island in the kitchen contained an assortment of sliced fruit, yogurt, freshly baked ham, eggs, and toast.

  “Wow. You went all out on this meal.”

  Closing the fridge door, she smiled as she brought over sparkling cider and two glasses in hand. Pouring one for him, and then herself, she gave him a glass. “I figured we’d be celebrating.”

  Taking the glass from her, he held his grin as he raised his eyebrows. “I’m not sure if there’s reason to celebrate. I won’t know anything for a week or two.”

  “Oh, really? I’m so sorry I got the sparkling cider out! Here.” She reached for the glass, but he pulled it out of her reach. “Hey, now. We can still celebrate.”

  She raised an eyebrow. “Yeah? What are we celebrating?”

  “That we pitched Costco. God’s will is going to happen no matter what they decide.”

  Her eyebrows lifted, smiling as they did.

  “What are you smiling about?”

  “Nothing.”

  “Come on. You can tell me.”

  “I just admire your faith and trust in God. It reminds me of someone . . .”

  “Drew?”

  She smiled and nodded gently. “Yeah. Drew.”

  “From everything you’ve told me about your husband, he sounds like he was a lucky man.” Coming closer, he lifted his glass of sparkling cider. “Shall we toast?”

  “Yes. To God’s will.”

  “To God’s will.”

  The glasses clanked together. As Brian took a drink of his sparkling cider, he couldn’t stop smiling. Not only had this beautiful woman come into his life, but she had made everything a lot easier for him. He was quickly becoming attached to the idea of having her around. As he lowered his glass down, he kept his gaze on her and placed the glass on the counter.

  “Can I just say something honestly?”

  She nodded.

  “I am so thankful to God for your being here.” He sensed his own growing affections and reminded himself that she was his employee. Fearful, he added. “You have truly fit into the role of my assistant.”

  Courtney smiled. “I’m glad it’s working out for both of us.” Walking into the other room, she called for the boys to join them in the kitchen.

  Chapter 4

  Brian - Age 25

  Flipping the burgers over on top of the grill, Brian shut the lid of the barbecue and turned toward the back yard. His wife, Melissa, was pushing Lucy on the swing set. When her gaze caught his, he smiled. In his heart, he lifted a prayer of thankfulness up to the Lord for his wife, his daughter, and his life. Soon, his new business he was starting with his friend selling dog food out of the garage would be operational. He and his best friend, Conrad, had come up with the brilliant idea of making their own organic dog food and selling it online. Melissa had been so supportive of the idea that she even suggested selling the house to move into their current smaller one in order to get the start-up funds needed for the venture. Everything in his life was perfect.

  Melissa strolled through the grass over to Brian as he stood near the barbecue. Smiling all the way up to him, she came in close and kissed him on the lips.

  “This house is really working out for us. I like the homey feeling to it.”

  Brian laughed. “You mean the wood paneling in the living room?”

  Laughing, she playfully smacked him and then came in close, wrapping her arms around his torso. “It’s fine for now.”

  His gaze fell back to the swing set and his daughter, Lucy. She was growing up so fast, almost five years old and starting kindergarten next month. Brian didn’t know everything there was to know in the world, but he did know one thing. He knew that he loved that little girl and would fight the world for her if he had to. He prayed every day for her, and for her future husband. He often wondered what that little boy was up to. If he was playing in the mud or racing his Hot Wheels across a kitchen floor somewhere in the world.

  His daughter jumped off the swing and came darting over to the two of them. “Daddy! Daddy! Did you see how high I jumped?”

  Bending a knee, he smoothed a hand over her head. “Yes, I did, Princess. It was so high.”

  “Think I can go higher?”

  “I think the only limit to how high you can go is you.”

  Her eyes flickered with youthful excitement.

  Melissa turned on the radio outside and the song Butterfly Kisses started to play. Lucy grabbed one of Brian’s hands. “Can we dance?”

  “Absolutely.” Scooping her up into his arms, he started to sway with her. Every time they heard the song, they’d dance no matter the occasion or what was going on. It started when she was two, and it had carried on at least yearly ever since.

  A short while later, the song ended and she darted from his arms and back over to the swing, their golden retriever, Chuck, following behind her. As Brian turned toward Melissa, she raised an eyebrow.

  “What time is Conrad going to be here?”

  “I’m not sure. He and Alissa had another fight. He will be here soon, I’m guessing.”

  “Oh. That’s concerning. I hope everything is okay. Alissa is great.”

  “I think the business stuff is just getting to her.” Pulling Melissa closer to him, Brian smiled. “She’s not as awesome as you are when it comes to all this stuff.”

  She smiled and kissed him. “Not everyone can be like me.”

  Winking, she peeled away from Brian and headed inside.

  After dinner that evening, Brian and Conrad went out to the garage, headquarters for Puppy Chow Direct. Flipping on the light switch as they entered, Brian glanced around. They had converted the garage into a full-sized kitchen to create their organic dog food to be frozen and then shipped out.

  “Man, it’s really here. We’ll be operational in less than a month.” Conrad smiled as he walked over to the stacks of containers containing the nutrients they added to each batch of food. “Did the vet nutritionist sign off on the final blend after we tweaked it?”

  “Yes.” Bending a knee as his dog came over to him, Brian began to pet him. “She came by yesterday.”

  “Nice. Any new feedback from early reviewers on the dog food?”

  “Yeah, the dogs all love it.” Brian stood and walked over to one of the metal chairs in the room. Staring at his friend as he took a seat, he sighed. “Conrad?”

  “What?” He turned toward Brian, letting his hand fall away from the container it was touching.

  “What’s going on with you and Alissa? You haven’t said anything about it all night.”


  Raking his hand through his hair, he shook his head and walked over to Brian. Sitting down in the chair beside him, he turned toward him. “We’re not in love anymore.”

  “What?” Brian adjusted in his chair. “What does that even mean? Love is a choice.”

  “Sometimes, it’s not a choice, Brian. I know everything is black and white for you, but it isn’t for everyone.” Standing up, Conrad walked over to the ovens and leaned against them as he crossed his arms. “She doesn’t love me anymore, and I don’t think I love her anymore.”

  Brian’s chest tightened and he stood up. Walking over to Conrad, he shook his head. “That’s your wife. You have to fight for your marriage.”

  “She’s seeing someone already, man. I don’t want the drama or the fight. I need to focus on this business and what we have going on here.”

  Brian’s face softened as his heart broke for his friend. “She’s seeing someone?”

  “Yeah.”

  Brian couldn’t ever fathom what that’d feel like, nor did he want to experience it firsthand. “That’s rough. Just know I’m praying for you, brother.”

  Releasing his folded arms, Conrad rested a hand on Brian’s shoulder. “Thank you. You and Melissa are amazing friends, and I hope that doesn’t stop just because Alissa and I don’t work out. You know?”

  “We’re business partners. That’s not going to change.”

  Conrad smiled somberly. “Thanks, man.”

  The first four months of business were bleak for Brian and Conrad. They could barely give the dog food away, let alone sell it. They were working long hours in the garage and working every weekend in the hopes of finding the magic bullet they needed to get the product to take off. With funds dwindling and hope running out, Brian took a trip to Florida to pitch the product to a small company that had a chain of pet stores. They were interested in the product after they had tested out the sample with their own dog, Skippy, and they wanted to hear what Puppy Chow Direct could offer.