Loving in His Way

by T. K. Chapin

  “How’d my mom and sister seem on their way out?”

  “Pretty upset.”

  Courtney peered out her window. “I really need to make amends with them. I just don’t know how. They disagree with me so strongly, but I know it needs to be resolved at some point.”

  “You have to give it over to God and let Him work on their hearts.” He thought about Melissa, about his own harboring of bitterness. “Maybe with time, you can talk with them.”

  Courtney sighed heavily. “Yeah. They say time heals all wounds, but . . . my mother isn’t like that. She’s different, Brian. I’m worried.”

  “Don’t worry. Trust. You learned that today. Right?”

  Smiling over at him, she nodded. “Yes, I did. Hey. Have you talked to Melissa yet?”

  He shook his head. “No. What would I say?”

  “If you forgive her, you should tell her.”

  “Maybe I will. Maybe I should ask her for forgiveness for the way I’ve acted too.”

  She smiled. “Yeah.”

  Arriving back at the apartment, Courtney stayed in the living room with Susan and talked about court while Brian went down the hallway to the boys’ bedroom. Pushing open the door the rest of the way, he saw that they had stacked books atop one another and made a ramp for their cars, just like the one he had shown them. He smiled.

  “Brian!” they exclaimed as they jumped up and ran over to him, wrapping their little arms around his legs.

  “Hey, guys. Building a ramp, huh?”

  He sat down with them and raced their little cars up and down the ramp. Then he read them a few stories from the stack under the ramp. As he finished a story and set the book back onto the stack, he thought again about Melissa, about Courtney’s encouragement to deal with the feelings he had stored up in bitterness toward his ex-wife. Rising from the boys’ floor, he went out into the living room. Susan had just left.

  “Hey.”

  “Hi.” Courtney came over and wrapped her arms around him.

  “I’m going to go talk to Melissa.”

  “All right. I’ll be praying.”

  Getting in his car, he prayed on his way over to Melissa and Conrad’s house. Pulling up to the curb, he peered over at the triple-story house they had bought with the settlement money from the divorce. I don’t even know what I’m going to say. I should leave. He went to turn the key over to leave when Conrad opened the front door and waved.

  His insides twisted. Brian realized he had more unforgiveness than he had first thought. He hated Conrad more than his ex-wife for what happened. He had trusted Conrad and let him into his home, into his life. Then Conrad took advantage of the situation and took his wife away from him.

  Closing his eyes, Brian breathed in truths of God and exhaled the hate inside his heart. Getting out of the car, he headed up the sidewalk toward Conrad.

  They struck hands, firmly shaking.

  “What’s up, Brian? It’s not your weekend, is it? Wait, it’s only Wednesday.”

  He shook his head. “No, I think we need to talk.”

  Raising his eyebrows, Conrad shrugged. “Sure. Let’s talk. Come on inside.”

  Walking with Conrad, Brian could feel his heart pounding in his chest as he crossed over the threshold into the house. Pictures of Melissa and his daughter flooded the entryway, making what he was attempting to do not the least bit easier. Conrad led them into the kitchen and to the table.

  They sat down.

  “So, Brian. What do you want to talk about?”

  “I want to let you know that I forgive you, and I want to ask your forgiveness too.”

  Furrowing his eyebrows, Conrad shook his head. “For what?”

  “For the way I have been treating you. I never let go of what happened and I have mistreated you.”

  “I didn’t realize that, but thanks.”

  Taking in Conrad’s words, Brian realized it was true. Holding unforgiveness in his own heart only had an impact on him, not on the other person. Conrad hadn’t even noticed.

  “Is Melissa around?”

  “Sure, she’s up in her office. I’ll go get her.”

  Conrad left the room and then suddenly, Lucy came in the kitchen’s back door.

  “Dad?”

  “Hey, Princess.”

  “What are you doing here?” She took off her gloves and walked over to the table.

  “I’m just here talking to your mother and Conrad.”

  Melissa entered the kitchen cautiously, looking confused just as much as Conrad did, if not more. “Hi, Brian. Conrad said you wanted to talk?”

  “Yes.”

  “Come on into the front room and we’ll chat there.”

  He followed his ex-wife into the front room. “Hey. Thanks for talking to me. I wanted to let you know that I forgive you, and also, I want to apologize for the way I’ve behaved. I haven’t been very nice and I just want to say I’m sorry.”

  “You’re not forgiven.”

  Looking around for a moment as confusion set into his mind, he shook his head. “What?”

  “I said you’re not forgiven. You’ve made me go through so much punishment after everything happened. I don’t forgive you.”

  “Okay.” He knew God’s forgiveness wasn’t dependent on hers, so he tried to not let it hurt, even though it did sting. “Thanks for letting me talk to you.”

  “Sure. I’ll walk you out.”

  Melissa followed behind him. At the door, he turned toward her and caught sight of Lucy in the hallway a few feet behind her. He shot a wave at her, but Melissa slammed the door.

  His heart ached in that moment. He hadn’t known he had caused Melissa so much pain, but it was apparent now that he had. Brian had always demonized her and made everything about how she had hurt him. Now he realized he had hurt her too. Peering up at the cold winter sky on the way back to his car, he cried out to God. “Forgive me, Lord! Oh, how blind I am to my own sins and my own shortcomings. Heal my heart and drive out this bitterness. Only You can fix this wicked heart of mine!”

  Arriving at his house a short while later, he went inside and shut the door behind him. The house was quiet and he was alone in his thoughts.

  Walking into the living room, he sat down on the couch and retrieved his Bible from the coffee table. Opening it up, he read for a while in 1 Timothy. Upon arriving at the second chapter, he read the first four verses and then stopped.

  I urge, then, first of all, that petitions, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for all people—

  for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness.

  This is good, and pleases God our Savior,

  who wants all people to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth.

  1 Timothy 2:1-4

  He thought about his earlier conversation with Melissa. He thought about how he hadn’t prayed for her once since they divorced. Closing his Bible, he went his knees and folded his hands together and rested them on the coffee table. “God, I lift up my ex-wife to You, Lord. Only You understand that woman. May she find her way back to a relationship with You, God. Her peace and joy seem to have gone from her, and I pray that it returns.” Wiping tears from his cheeks as he paused for a moment, he knew his prayer was real because he could feel it within his bones. He went on. “And I pray for Conrad. I pray that You prosper his hands and every bit of work he does as a restaurant supply consultant. I pray that You bring this family to You, Lord. Show them Your glorious light and Your ways. I lift up their life, their marriage, and their family. Amen.”

  After putting the boys to bed that evening, Courtney slipped the stack of prayer journals Drew had written from the desk drawer in the boys’ bedroom and brought them out to the living room.

  Opening one, she flipped through it and stopped.

  9/1/2010

  Bible reading: 2 Thessalonians 1-3

  Focus: In the final chapter of Thessalonians two verses struck me right
in the heart. It was in verses four and five. ‘We have confidence in the Lord that you are doing and will continue to do the things we command. May the Lord direct your hearts into God’s love and Christ’s perseverance.’ It struck me for a particular reason. Two days ago, I was informed that my grandmother has about five months to live. My heart is broken, but I know that I will continue to do what is right and will continue to be directed by the Lord. May her new residence in Heaven be nothing short of divine.

  Prayers:

  I’d like to begin prayers today focused on my wife. It seems to me that she seems more upset than I do about my grandmother’s declining health. I know she has become attached to her since we’ve been spending more time in Idaho Falls. Lord, please ease the discomfort my wife feels in her heart. Let her be focused on Your peace, Your love, Your goodness in her life. Help me be of good encouragement to her.

  Just then, a knock sounded on Courtney’s apartment door, interrupting her time in the journal. Closing the journal, she placed it along with the others in a drawer inside the coffee table.

  Going over to the door, she checked the peephole. It was her mother, Rhonda.

  Seeing tears running down her cheeks and a look of sadness clouding her expression, Courtney’s heart was moved with compassion.

  Unlatching the lock, she opened the door.

  “Mom?”

  With trembling lips, she shook her head. “Courtney, can we talk?”

  “Yes. Come in.”

  Letting her mother come into the apartment, the two of them sat down at the kitchen table.

  “I had no idea that Taylor would lose today. I thought she was doing all the right things, but when that judge explained it, it clicked. I hope you can forgive me.”

  Moved deeply by her words, Courtney nodded and grabbed her mother’s hand with a gentle touch. She realized she had forgiven her mother already, even after the way she had sided against her in court and flipped out on her that same morning. Courtney’s heart was in a constant flow of forgiveness for all the hurt she felt. “Mom. I love you and I love Taylor. I never wanted a battle. I only wanted what was best for these boys. I’m trying to do what is best.”

  “Will you at least let me see them?”

  “Of course, and Taylor can too once she’s clean and stable. I’d prefer for her not to be with Drake, but I can’t do much about that.”

  “Really?” Rhonda’s eyes filled with more tears. “Even after all that she did to you?”

  “Absolutely.”

  “How can you be so quick to forgive?”

  Shaking her head, she smiled. “Look at all the Lord has forgiven me of, Mom. I can’t help but love and forgive.”

  Standing up, she came closer to Courtney and hugged her. “I love you, Daughter. You have a greater faith in God than I.”

  “Would you like some tea?”

  “Yes. I’d love that.” Rhonda wiped her eyes as Courtney went over to the stove and put on a kettle of water. “Does Taylor have a plan?”

  “She does. I’m relocating to Spokane, and she’s going to live with me in a three-bedroom apartment while she does outpatient treatment. Then she’ll get a job and whatnot. She wants to be close to the boys so she can see them when she’s sober.”

  “That’s a great plan.”

  Pouring cups of hot, steamy water, Courtney dropped a tea bag into each mug and brought them over to the kitchen table along with cream and sugar. Sitting down, she placed a couple of lumps of sugar into her tea.

  “Still two lumps.”

  “Always.” Wanting to know more about Taylor, Courtney gently touched against the subject. “So, where is Taylor now?”

  “She’s at the hotel.”

  “Drake?”

  “She’s not with him now. They broke up this afternoon following court. She realized he was seriously holding her back.”

  “I hope she sticks with that.” Taking a sip of her tea, Courtney’s heart worried about Taylor. “I don’t understand why she started getting with terrible men.”

  “It was after your father died that she did. Remember that nice fellow she was dating back before Frank passed . . . what’s his name?”

  “Ralph? I remember him.”

  “Yes! Ralph. Once Frank passed away, Ralph pushed her away hard, and she went to the first guy who showed her any kind of affection, and then a different one after that. The rest is history.”

  “That’s so sad. Did anyone figure out why Ralph did that?”

  She shook her head. “No.”

  Courtney peered over toward the hallway and thought about the boys. “But we wouldn’t have Blaze and Todd if it didn’t all happen to work out the way it did.”

  “God works all things together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.” Rhonda peered over at the hallway. “That Todd is smart. Both of them are smart, but that Todd seems beyond his little two-year-old self. You know?”

  “I know.” Courtney’s heart warmed with love as she sat with her mother in the kitchen that night. It was truly a miracle of God, the transformation that had taken place in their relationship from that early morning to that evening.

  Chapter 11

  In early February, Brian met with Edgar Tomchak, the veterinarian nutritionist he hired for each new line of dog food. He discussed with him his desires to introduce a line of dog food that boosts energy while remaining nutritional. Costco had been loving the line of dog food in their store so far but wanted something new and fresh.

  “It’ll take some time for us to perfect a new balanced formula, but I think it’s absolutely possible. You have testers lined up?”

  “Yes.” Brian smiled. “The same people and their dogs from the last time. They love being a part of the testing process and they love the free dog food.”

  “Great. Then we’ll start Monday.” Standing up in Brian’s office at the warehouse, Edgar reached a hand over the desk.

  Brian stood and they shook hands.

  After leaving the warehouse, Brian’s phone rang in the car. Pressing the answer button on the car’s dashboard, he answered.

  “Hey, Brian. It’s me, April. My phone died and I’m using my daughter’s cell phone to call you. I am still planning to show up tonight, but I’m running a few minutes behind. Will 6:15 PM work?”

  “Yes, my reservation is for seven PM. You didn’t mention anything at the ladies’ Bible study last night?”

  She laughed. “No! I kept my lips sealed. She’s going to love the surprise. See you soon.”

  “Thanks again for this! I really appreciate it, and I know Courtney will too.”

  “No problem at all. Courtney works so hard for those boys and loves on them unconditionally. She deserves a night out! See you soon.”

  “’Bye.”

  Hanging up, Brian lifted a prayer of thanks up to God. Lord, You are so good to me, to us. Thank You for placing people into my life who reflect Your love. Amen.

  Parking at the apartment complex, he shut off the car and peered through the windshield toward Courtney’s apartment. She thought they were just going to have a relaxing evening at her apartment with the boys. Maybe watch a movie after the boys go to sleep and that was it. She had no idea the plans Brian had made with April to watch the boys so he could take her out.

  Getting to the door, he knocked.

  She opened the door.

  “Come on in.” She had Blaze on her hip, and he was crying.

  He stepped across the threshold and gave her a peck on her lips.

  “What’s going on, little guy?” Brian took Blaze into his arms and rubbed his back, attempting to calm him down.

  “He and Todd were roughhousing around, and he got hurt.” Courtney went into the kitchen and turned the dial on the soup down to low. “I’m trying to finish up dinner. It’s your favorite, soup.”

  She was joking, knowing that he didn’t care for soup of any kind. “Mmm. Sounds good.”

  Laughing, she looked over as she gave t
he pot a stir. “You don’t have to lie.”

  “Your soups are growing on me a little.”

  Setting the ladle into the soup, she wiped her hands on a hand towel hanging from the stove. “It’s time to eat. I’ll go get Todd.”

  Blaze had calmed down and Brian set him down. Just as Courtney was about to enter the hallway to head down to the spare room, the doorbell rang.

  “Who could that be?”

  Brian broke into a grin. “I have a surprise for you.”

  Walking over to the door, Brian opened it and it was April.

  “What? I’m confused. What are you doing here, April?”

  “I’m here to relieve you so you can go out with Brian tonight.”

  Courtney’s eyes widened as she came over to Brian and April near the door. “What? Really?”

  “Yes. You know I won’t be around for a while coming up as I’m working with Edgar at the warehouse, and I want to treat you out before things get hectic.”

  “All right. Awesome. Thank you! Both of you! Let me go get ready!”

  Dolled up and ready for the surprise date with Brian, Courtney sat in the passenger seat of his car. She felt weird.

  “It’s so strange to not have the boys in the backseat.” She laughed. “I feel like I’m in an alternate reality or something. I mean, court was different. This is a date!”

  “I bet it feels a little different. You’ve spent every moment with them for months now. It’s time to relax for an evening.”

  “What do you have planned?”

  “You’ll have to wait and see.”

  He drove to downtown Spokane and parked outside the Clinkerdagger, an upscale restaurant overlooking the Spokane River. As they sat down at the candlelit table, she felt love and warmth washing over her entire body.

  “You’re so sweet to me, Brian.”

  “It’s easy being sweet to a woman like you.”