FRACTURED HONOR

by Kaylea Cross

  Hell. “No, I’m good.”

  “I’ll take some,” Jase said, shooting him a take some, dumbass frown.

  “I bet you haven’t eaten,” Molly said to Beckett, making him a plate anyway.

  He’d learned long ago not to get in Molly’s way when she set her mind to something, so he took it with a murmur of thanks and waited until she sat at the table. He seated himself between her and Sierra, across from Jase, who had already removed his hat and was digging into his dinner. Under the appetizing aroma of the meal, he could smell Sierra’s tempting citrus scent.

  He would so much rather eat her than the enchiladas.

  Really damn uncomfortable at this point because he couldn’t get her out of his head or keep stalling on this, Beckett watched Molly for a moment. “You sure you don’t want to talk about this in private?”

  She impaled a bite of enchilada with enough force that her fork clanked on the plate. “Yep.”

  “I can pop outside while you guys talk,” Sierra said, picking up her plate.

  Molly shot out a hand and grabbed her wrist to stop her. “No. You already know what’s been going on, so there’s nothing to hide.” She thrust a finger at Sierra’s chair. “Sit. Eat.”

  Sierra did, giving him an uncomfortable look Beckett understood all too well. She would rather be anywhere than here right now because she knew he had bad news.

  Molly popped the bite into her mouth, chewed and raised her eyebrows at him. “So? Lay it on me, I can take it. What is it this time?”

  Beckett glanced at Jase before speaking. “There was an incident with the homeowner this afternoon. I went over there to talk to Carter about it. Things…didn’t go well. He was pretty damn angry when he left.”

  She stopped chewing, narrowed her eyes slightly. “Did he break something? Put his fist through the wall?”

  “No, but…” Hell. There was no easy way to say this. Jase had stopped eating, was watching him and Molly intently. “We had an argument and I wound up letting him go.”

  She lowered her fork, her gold-green stare burning into Beckett’s. “So he’s fired.”

  Shit. “Yes. I’m sorry, Moll. I had no choice. I can’t keep—”

  “No,” she said, holding up a hand to stop him from continuing. She pressed her lips together, her gaze on her plate. “I get it. You’ve bent over backward trying to help and accommodate him.”

  Beckett’s conscience pricked him. Had he, though? Had he done enough? He’d tried to help the guy, yeah, but could he have done more? Guilt was slowly eating a hole through his insides.

  “There’ll be severance pay,” he said quietly, not knowing how to make this any easier on her. She didn’t deserve any of this, the added burden it would bring. “Six weeks’ pay, and I’m going to pay for COBRA if you guys sign up for it, to make sure you guys still have extra coverage for whatever he needs.” It sounded lame, even to him. He felt Sierra’s stare on him, and his heart got even heavier. This wasn’t his proudest moment and he hated that she was seeing it.

  Molly pressed her lips together. Nodded. “Thank you. But I’ve got good medical coverage through work. We can handle it.”

  Jase put a hand on her shoulder. “Beck had no choice, Moll.”

  “I know.”

  The way her shoulders slumped, like she carried the weight of the world on them, made Beckett feel like the biggest asshole in the universe. “Moll, I—”

  “No, don’t apologize. This is on him, not you. You’ve got a business to run, and people who depend on you for their livelihood. You can’t keep someone on staff who’s volatile and constantly causing problems for everyone.”

  The constriction around his chest eased a little. It shouldn’t have surprised him that Molly would understand the situation so clearly. But he still felt like hell about it. He shook his head. “I don’t know how to help him anymore.”

  “That makes two of us,” she said flatly, then shook her head. “I figured this was coming. He’s getting worse every day, doesn’t matter what we try. I guess he’s gotta hit rock bottom before he finally wakes up and realizes he’s lost everything.”

  Her last words made him pretty sure she was talking about their marriage. Beckett traded a loaded look with Jase before his buddy turned to Molly.

  “We’re both still here for you if you need us,” he told her. “That’s never gonna change.”

  She nodded once, her gaze fixed on her plate.

  “And me, too,” Sierra said. “Whatever happens, you’ve got us.”

  That brought Molly’s head up. The strong, proud façade she always wore cracked for just an instant, her eyes turning luminous with a sheen of tears. “I love you guys, you know. I’m so sorry you’ve all been put in this position.”

  “No,” Jase said instantly, reaching for her hand. “None of this is your fault. And we love you too. Don’t be afraid to lean on us when you need to. We’re family. A fucked-up and kinda dysfunctional family, but family nonetheless.”

  She gave a tight smile that didn’t reach her eyes. “Thanks. But I’m not used to leaning on anyone.”

  Beckett so got that, because he was the same way. Even when it came to the gorgeous, accomplished woman sitting next to him, who he wanted more than his next breath.

  Time to go.

  His dinner remained untouched in front of him. He didn’t feel like sitting here eating Molly’s food after what he’d just told her. “Are you going to be okay?” he asked her.

  “Yeah. I’ll figure everything out.”

  “No, I meant…” Jesus, there was no easy way to say this either, and it was too delicate a thing to bring up what Carter had told him about their relationship earlier. “Do you want us to stay until Carter comes back?”

  She shook her head. “No. If he’s still in a mood that’ll just make it worse. Better if you’re not here.”

  Beckett shared another look with Jase, and his teammate tilted his head subtly toward Molly. Understanding, Beckett stood and reached for his still-full plate. “Sorry for the shit news. But what Jase said is true. We’re here for you no matter what. Always.”

  “Thank you.”

  There was nothing left to say, and he needed to let Jase talk with her alone. Beckett steeled himself and glanced at Sierra. “You heading home?”

  Surprise lit her eyes for a moment, but she got the hint. “Yes.” Picking up her plate, she rounded the table, dropped a kiss on Molly’s cheek and took her plate to the sink.

  Beckett waited in the heavy silence as she rinsed it, put it in the dishwasher and followed him out the back door.

  WHEN THE DOOR clicked shut behind Sierra, Jase leaned back in his chair and rested a forearm across the top of it, his full attention on Molly. “You okay?” he asked softly.

  “Sure,” she said in a dull voice, poking at her dinner with her fork.

  He hated that this was happening to her. Had tried to be supportive of Carter through all of this, but things had gone too far now. “Look, I know things have been tight financially for you guys with all the treatment and meds he’s on.” He also knew from Carter that they’d used up pretty much everything they’d saved over the years. Things were going to be even harder now, with only Molly’s salary to get them by. “If you need some money to—”

  Her eyes flashed with a spark of temper. “Jase Weaver, if you’re about to offer me money, I swear to God…”

  He shut his mouth. Meant to keep it shut, but the frustration was too much. “Dammit Moll, this is no time to be proud. I hate seeing you struggle.”

  “So don’t look.”

  He stared at her. Don’t look? If fucking only.

  Where she was concerned, all he could do was look and nothing more, and there was no damn way he could look away when she needed him most. Not even if it drove the knife in his chest a little deeper every time he saw her.

  “No matter what happens between Carter and me, I’ll never abandon you, Moll.” He’d cut out his own heart first.

  She
pressed her lips together and glanced away, and it took her a moment to regain her control. “I know you mean well. All of you. But you don’t know what it’s like. The embarrassment. The pity. The dread.”

  That last one bothered him the most. He wished he could protect her, but it was a sad fucking thing to want to protect the woman he was in love with from her own husband—his former best friend. “You have nothing to be embarrassed about. You’ve gone above and beyond to help him.”

  Her gold-green eyes darted to his. “It’s called being a wife, Jase.”

  “Maybe, but I know a lot of wives who walked away from guys in our unit without having to deal with a tenth of the shit you’ve been dealing with.” It seemed like every time they got back from a deployment, someone’s wife or girlfriend had packed up and left. Even Beckett’s.

  But not Molly. Molly was loyal to the core. It was one of the things Jase loved most about her.

  She picked up her plate and carried it to the sink, her back stiff. “I said vows that included for better or worse, in sickness and in health. I meant them.”

  Yes. And he respected her for it. For that enduring loyalty, and her big, caring heart that Carter was too fucking selfish and stupid to appreciate. “I know.” I was there. Dying inside while standing up there watching you give yourself to my best friend. “But now it’s time to start thinking about yourself.”

  She paused at the sink, her head dropping forward. “I…can’t abandon him, Jase. He needs me.”

  But he doesn’t deserve you.

  He had to bite the words back before they could fly out of his stupid mouth. She had no freaking clue how he’d really felt about her all these years, and he planned on keeping it that way.

  Except dammit, she deserved so much more than Carter had given her over the past four turbulent years of their marriage. She deserved someone who loved her enough to put her first, who showed her how amazing and beautiful she was. Someone who truly appreciated her.

  “Moll. You can’t save him. You know you can’t.” Jase was worried about her safety, and her emotional state. Molly was strong, wanted the world to think she was fine, that she could handle anything life threw at her all on her own. He knew better. He wanted to help her. Protect her. He wanted…

  A lot of things he shouldn’t.

  She nodded, looking so defeated it was all he could do not to walk over there and pull her into his arms. Her smile could light up an entire room. He missed seeing it. Missed hearing her husky, infectious laugh and seeing the mischievous, playful sparkle in her eyes. “I have to try.”

  He resisted the urge to rake a hand through his hair in frustration. She wasn’t ever going to leave Carter, no matter how shitty things got. She was going to play the dutiful wife until the very end, sacrifice her own happiness and wellbeing on a man who was determined to self-destruct.

  Jase appreciated that in a way, but shit. He couldn’t shake the feeling that something terrible would happen if she stayed with Carter. He wanted her to wake up and get the hell out before it did. Because it sure as hell felt like something bad was looming.

  “Will you be okay here tonight?” he asked. “I can stay until he gets back.” Part of him wanted to hunt his old buddy down right now and tear into him for putting Molly through this. Except that would only make things worse and he didn’t want to alienate her by interfering.

  “I’ll be okay. Thanks.”

  He nodded, couldn’t think of anything else to say except, “If you need anything, you call me. Understand?”

  Her eyes warmed and the hint of a smile tugged at the edge of her mouth. “Yeah. Thanks, Jase.”

  Dismissed, soldier. “Anytime.” He put his flat cap back on and carried his plate to the sink where she took it from him. And because he couldn’t help himself and because he’d always hugged her goodbye, he slid his arms around her.

  Molly leaned into him with a little sigh, rested her cheek on his chest for a moment. And for those few seconds, the bittersweet pain was almost unbearable.

  She fucking needed him. Needed somebody so she wouldn’t have to endure the crushing weight of all this alone. God, what he wouldn’t give to be able to call her his. Have the right to touch her, kiss her, take her to bed, taste every inch of her, make her cry out his name as she came around him and then hold her in the darkness every night.

  Yeah, Carter was a fucking idiot who didn’t realize the treasure he had in her.

  Breathing in the fruity scent of her shampoo, Jase pressed a kiss to the top of her tight curls and stepped back, aching inside. “I’m here if you need me.”

  “I know.”

  He hoped so. He also wouldn’t hold his breath waiting for her to ask him for anything.

  He walked outside, the ache in the center of his chest so sharp it was hard to draw a full breath. Sierra was on the front steps, waiting while Beckett finished up a call.

  “How is she?” she asked.

  Jase shrugged. “You know Molly. Tough as they come.”

  Sierra nodded. “I’m worried about her. Do you think Carter would ever…?” She left the sentence dangling, but the worry in her deep blue eyes said it all.

  Jase’s muscles bunched in reflex, his body rebelling at the thought. “Naw. No, Carter would never lay a hand on her.” The guy was deteriorating, for sure, but Jase didn’t think he would dare hurt Molly physically. If he did, Jase would fucking tear him apart.

  Beckett finished his call and faced him. “She okay?”

  “She says she is.” He glanced down the driveway, unease settling heavy in his gut. The rental property was set back a good distance from the road, with woods on all sides. Isolated, the nearest neighbor a five-minute walk away. “I feel like I should stay. Just in case.”

  “Might not be a bad idea,” Beckett said. “But Molly would hate it.”

  “I’ll stay,” Sierra offered. “She’s my best friend.”

  “No,” he and Beckett said at the same time. Sierra frowned and opened her mouth to argue, but Jase cut her off. “Not by yourself.” It cut him deep to say it, admit that he no longer trusted that Carter wouldn’t hurt one of them if he lost it.

  Jase pushed out a long breath. “What about the job? Who are you going to replace Carter with?” he asked Beckett.

  “I was hoping you. You up for it?”

  “I was afraid you’d say that.” He grimaced. “All right, I’ll act as project manager for now—until you can find a replacement. I like my current job.” Numbers and spreadsheets and no stress, no dealing with clients or wrangling crewmembers. Order. Precision. Routine. Time spent working on his ’32 Ford. Those were the things he needed to give him stability and keep him busy as he battled to navigate his way back into the civilian world and tame the demons he’d brought home from his years at war.

  “You can do both.”

  Jase laughed dryly. Beck was such a hard-ass. “Oh, can I?”

  “I’ll look into finding someone. Got any suggestions on where I might start?”

  One name immediately popped into his head. “What about MacIntyre?”

  Beckett’s face went slack with surprise. “MacIntyre.”

  “Yeah. Scottish guy, former Royal Marine. Six-two, reddish-brown hair, beard. We served with his team at Bagram and—”

  “I know who he is.” Beckett’s expression turned thoughtful. “Think he’d be interested?”

  Jase shrugged. “You won’t know unless you ask him. But yeah, he might be. Last I heard six weeks ago he was between jobs.”

  Beckett nodded. “I’ll think about it.”

  When he and Sierra made no move to say goodnight and leave, it finally dawned on Jase that they wanted to talk alone. “Okay, see you guys later.”

  He hopped into his truck, hoping Beckett would call MacIntyre first thing in the morning. Jase could juggle both positions for a while, but not forever, not with the way the company was growing. After the disaster with Carter, Beckett needed someone he could trust.

  And so did
Molly.

  Chapter Six

  Left alone with Beckett, Sierra did her best to push aside the magnetic pull he exerted on her and cleared her throat as Jase drove away. “You didn’t eat. Can we go grab a bite together?” she asked him. They needed to be out of here before Carter got home.

  He frowned slightly, the motion pulling at the scar that bisected his left eyebrow. “Now?”

  “Yes. I need to talk to you.”

  “About what?”

  “Carter and Molly.”

  He hesitated a second, as though he wanted to say no, then nodded once. “All right. Where?”

  “My place? I’ll pick us up some pizza on the way home.”

  “Okay. Meet you there in twenty.”

  He was already parked in her driveway when she arrived with the pizza. He met her at her car, took the boxes from her and followed her up the walkway to the front door. A cool breeze carried the salty tang of the sea, brushing aside the mugginess from earlier.

  Annoying butterflies danced in her stomach at the thought of spending time alone with him in her place. She’d fallen in love with the little pale gray-painted cottage the first time she’d seen it, right after moving back from San Francisco a little over four years ago now.

  Unlike her brother, she hadn’t always wanted to stay in Crimson. In fact, for many years she’d been desperate to escape it.

  After meeting her ex in vet school, she had followed him to northern California post graduation, where they’d bought a condo with a gorgeous view and worked at a clinic together. When things had slowly unraveled after that, it had taken her coming home for a visit to realize just how miserable she’d been.

  She’d spotted the cottage during a drive around town to clear her head, and right then everything had become so obvious. Her unhappiness in her relationship, and with life in general.

  There was nothing worse than being lonely when you were with your partner.

  She’d put an offer on the cottage the next morning before catching a flight back to San Fran, ended her relationship that same day, packed up and come home to Crimson. It was the best decision she’d ever made.