Jacob’s Ladder: Gabe

by Ashley, Katie

  “Aunt Sadie, I told Gabe my history. He knew about Ryan and Mom, and how because of music, they had left me. He knew how I felt about Lincoln having a guitar, and how I feared I would lose Linc too. Is that irrational? Now, I can probably say yes. But at the time, I was terrified. Linc is my world. How do I trust someone who didn’t show any remorse for helping my son to not only disobey his mom, but to do so publically?”

  “Yes, I’m well aware of that.”

  “Are you sure you are because it doesn’t seem that way from what you’re saying.”

  Aunt Sadie pursed her lips at me. “Yes, Gabe broke your trust. And yes, in the moment, he claimed he didn’t feel any remorse. But you and I both know in the heat of the moment, we say things we really don’t mean. Perhaps time has tempered his anger. Maybe he’s had time to contemplate more about the complexities of parenting a child, and how the adults must stand by each other’s decisions, and never sabotage them.”

  I contemplated what Aunt Sadie was saying. “I guess.”

  “You have to remember that Gabe’s insensitivity comes from the fact he’s never been a parent. It was his ignorance that led him to say and do the things he did. The Gabe I know would never knowingly hurt you or Linc.”

  “I really don’t think he meant to hurt us either,” I said softly.

  She nodded. “Relationships are hard and people make mistakes. Sometimes they make colossal mistakes, and sometimes they are minute ones. In the end, it isn’t the mistakes themselves, but it’s how you handle them. It’s the ability to look past the mistake and see the heart and motive behind it.”

  Reaching over, she cupped my chin. “Reagan, I love you very much. I’ve always been immensely proud of you for finishing high school and going to college when the chips were stacked against you. Not only are you a wonderful mother, but you’re also a very good businesswoman.”

  I swallowed hard. Although the words seemed inadequate for how I was feeling, I replied, “Thank you, Aunt Sadie.”

  “So hear me out. You’re being a stubborn idiot over this mess with Gabe.” When I opened my mouth to protest, she shook her head. “And he is too, because he hasn’t tried to reach out to you. But you know as well as I do that men are emotional babies. Trust me, you don’t want to end up like me—alone and having to live each day with regret. I’ll never know what could have been with Elliot where you have the chance with Gabe. You need to decide if you can look past the mistake. He needs to decide if he can learn from it and avoid making it again. And then you both need to begin to forgive and heal.”

  After surveying her words, I slowly nodded. “Okay. I’ll try to talk to Gabe.”

  Relief filled her eyes. “I’m so glad you saw things my way.”

  I laughed. “You certainly didn’t give me much choice. I was waiting for you to beat some sense into me with your cane.”

  She gave me a sly smile. “Well, that was my plan B.”

  “I’m glad it didn’t come to that.”

  “Me too.” She reached over and patted my leg. “I’m so glad you said you would talk to Gabe.”

  “Really?”

  With a nod, she replied, “Well, firstly, he’s terribly handsome.”

  “Aunt Sadie!” I laughed.

  “But mostly because he’s on his way here.”

  My stomach plummeted to my feet. “Excuse me?”

  “I said Gabe is on his way to see you.”

  “But…what? I mean, how do you know that?”

  “He called about an hour ago to make sure you were here.” Winking, she added, “I was going to have to fake a stroke or something if you tried to leave.”

  I bolted out of the swing. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me until now. I can’t let Gabe see me like this!” I gesticulated wildly to my grease-pit hair, lack of makeup, and the Star Wars pajama pants I was wearing.

  “He was in Ball Ground when he called.”

  “Oh shit! That means he could be here any minute. Shit!”

  “Go ahead and get in the shower, honey. I’ll stall him for you.”

  As Aunt Sadie sat there leaning on her cane, I couldn’t help but think how much she reminded of me of Olenna Tyrell from Game of Thrones. All she needed was the medieval headdress thing and she could be her twin.

  “Okay. You do that.” I sprinted away from Aunt Sadie and into the house.

  “Mom, can you—” Linc started to ask.

  “Nope, can’t. Ask one of your aunts.” While I did momentarily pause to make sure he wasn’t maimed or bleeding, I blew on past down the hall to the bathroom. Once again, I wouldn’t be winning any Mother of the Year awards any time soon.

  I was pretty sure there hadn’t ever been a time I’d managed to shower and wash my hair in under ten minutes. Maybe back when I was playing for the league because I’d always feared some creep had put cameras in the showers in the locker room—it had happened to one of the other teams—but I was almost certain this time was a personal record.

  After my shower, I left my hair wet while I slathered on foundation and eyeliner as fast as I could. Once I finished with my makeup, I dried my hair. Since I had yet to decide what to wear, I wrapped a towel around me. I burst out of the bathroom door and into a wall of hard flesh.

  Oh shit. It took me less than a second to realize who I had bumped into. When I jerked away, I glanced up into Gabe’s eyes, and I saw so many emotions burning in his baby blues: fear, amusement, hurt, anger. I was sure the same emotions were reflected in my own.

  “Um, hello.”

  God, I’d missed hearing his voice. The deep, rumbling timbre that could make me feel comforted in one minute and incredibly horny the next.

  Drawing my towel tighter around me, I said, “Hello.”

  “I’m assuming since you don’t seem too shocked to see me, Sadie must’ve mentioned I was coming.”

  Double damn. He knew I knew, which meant he knew I had just fixed up for him. “Yes, she mentioned it.” Smooth, Rae. Very smooth.

  “You look good.”

  “Excuse me?”

  Gabe winced. “I mean, you look like you’re doing good.”

  “Thank you.”

  After jerking a hand through his hair, Gabe exhaled a ragged breath. “Why don’t you get dressed, and I’ll wait for you in the living room?”

  “Maybe we should sit outside so we can be alone.”

  The corners of Gabe’s lips quirked. “We are alone. The others just piled into Kennedy’s car and left.”

  Well, wasn’t that an interesting development? I was standing in front of Gabe half-naked while we were completely alone in the house. “I see.”

  “I suppose they felt we needed some privacy.”

  “I guess so.” Before things could get any more awkward between us, I said, “Okay, I’ll go get dressed, and you make yourself comfortable in the living room.”

  “Okay, I will.”

  Gabe and I then proceeded to do that awkward two-step where one person moves forward and the other one does at the same time. Each time we tried to outwit each other, we ended up bumping together again. Finally, Gabe pressed himself up against the wall and motioned for me to go. I hauled ass into my room and then slammed the door.

  Since Gabe had seen me in a towel, I figured there was no point worrying about what I was going to wear. I threw on my nicest pair of jeans along with a Hart and Daughter sweatshirt. After taking a deep breath, I opened my door and started down the hall to the living room.

  When I got there, Gabe was sitting on the couch, his head in his hands. At the sound of me entering the room, he jerked up. After opening and closing his mouth several times like a fish, he blurted out, “I’m a fucking asshole.”

  I blinked at him. “Nothing like cutting to the chase.”

  Shaking his head, Gabe said, “I’m sorry. My head is spinning with all the things I want to say to you. While it wasn’t the most eloquent thing I could have come up with, it certainly expresses how I feel.”

  Easing do
wn beside Gabe on the couch, I said, “I suppose we can start with that. You’re an asshole, and I’m a bitch.”

  Gabe’s brows shot up. “You are?”

  “Don’t tell me you thought I was blameless in what happened between us?”

  “No, I just wouldn’t put you in the bitch league.”

  “Oh yeah, I belong there. I was a bitch to both you and Linc.” I drew in a deep breath. “Not only was I a bitch, I was wrong.”

  “About what?”

  “Linc playing the guitar. He isn’t his dad just like I’m not my mom.”

  At the mention of my mom, Gabe winced. “Rae, I’m so fucking sorry I compared you to your mom. I was so hurt by you that I wanted to hurt you too.”

  “Deep down, I know you didn’t mean it. It was just hard for me to hear.”

  “Please know that I’ve regretted it every single day. It was the reason why I haven’t called you.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I was afraid that because of the things I said, you’d never forgive me.”

  I widened my eyes at him. “I thought you hadn’t called because you didn’t want to forgive me.”

  Gabe smiled. “It sounds like we could really improve on our communication skills.”

  “I’d say so.”

  “You know, I wrote a song for you about what happened between us.”

  “You did?”

  “Yes, but it’s terrible.”

  I smiled. “That’s what you always say, but your songs are always works of art.”

  Gabe chuckled. “No. Trust me. This one was so bad that Eli made me swear I wouldn’t sing it to you.”

  “You’re kidding?”

  “I wish I was. He thinks I could probably sell it to one of those screamer bands or some goth group.”

  “Sounds like it was pretty dark.”

  With a nod, Gabe said, “It was reflecting where I’ve been the past week without you. More than anything in the world, I wanted to make a grand gesture to show you how sorry I was, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t make the right words come, the words beautiful enough to show you just how much I care for you.”

  I swallowed hard. “You got writer’s block again?”

  “I just can’t seem to write a song without you, Rae.”

  With a sigh, I countered, “I can’t be with you just so you can write songs.”

  “I’m well aware of that, and it’s not the reason I came to see you.” Leaning forward, he took my hand in his. “I can’t seem to do life without you.”

  “You can’t?” I questioned softly as I fought to regulate my out-of-control heartbeat.

  “If there’s one thing that has become abundantly clear this week, it’s that I love you.”

  Oh God. He had said those three little words—the ones that any woman desires to hear from the man she cares about. Not only was my heart beating erratically, but now I found it hard to breathe as well.

  Cupping my chin, Gabe tilted my head to look at him. “I love you, and I don’t want to be without you. I don’t know if you can ever forgive me for what I did, but I want you to know how sorry I am. If you do give me a second chance, I swear I will never undermine your parenting ever again. I will always be upfront and honest with you about even the tiniest detail of my private life. I promise that I’ll—”

  “I love you, too, Gabe!”

  A beaming smile lit up his handsome face. “You do?”

  “Yes, I really do.”

  “And you can forgive me?”

  “Yes, but it’s going to take some time.”

  Gabe’s elated expression slowly faded. “It is?”

  “Just because we said we’re sorry to each other doesn’t mean our trust in each other is magically repaired. It’s going to take a little time to build it back. To look beyond our mistakes.”

  “You’re right, it will.” With a grin, he added, “I’ll do everything I can to speed the process along.”

  “I hope so.”

  Taking my face in his hands, Gabe said, “I love you so much, Rae Hart.”

  “And I love you, Gabe Renard.”

  He tilted his head in thought. “How long do you think it’ll be before we’ll be able to get things back working in the bedroom department?”

  I laughed. “Why am I not surprised you brought that up?”

  “Some things never change.”

  “We do have the house to ourselves…”

  While Gabe appeared to be momentarily lost in lascivious thoughts, he shook his head. “No. I believe we need a little romance first.”

  “We do?”

  “Have you eaten?”

  “No.”

  “Then I think the two of us should have a night out on the town in Hayesville.”

  “Which would be dinner at The Hitching Post and in bed by nine o’clock,” I replied with a smile.

  “It sounds wonderful.” Gabe rose off the couch and then offered me his hand. “Are you in?”

  “Yes, I’m in.”

  As we started to the door, Gabe flashed me a wicked grin. “They don’t have any horse-drawn carriages around here, do they?”

  Nine months later

  At the screech of the guitar strings, I winced while Linc muttered, “Dammit.”

  I cocked my brows at him. “Hey man, watch it with the language.”

  “You say worse,” Linc countered.

  “That’s no excuse. You’re supposed to do as I say, not as I do.”

  Linc rolled his eyes. “Now you sound like Papa.”

  “Yeah, yeah, I’m some old fart. Now back to the music. That was supposed to be a B flat to an E flat, not a G flat.” When Linc followed my instruction this time, he hit the chord perfectly. “There ya go. Now try it a few more times.”

  Almost a year had passed since I’d first made the deal with Linc to get a very reluctant Rae to hang out with me in return for getting him a guitar. In some ways, it seemed like just yesterday, while other times, it was hard to imagine a time in my life when Rae and Linc hadn’t been a part of it.

  With Rae now on board with Linc learning the guitar, he was progressing way past what he’d done in the talent show. I also liked to think he was excelling because of my expert tutelage, although with me back on tour with Jacob’s Ladder, our time was somewhat more limited. Of course, whatever musical talent Linc’s father had seemed to be magnified in Linc. I could totally see him pursuing music as a career, although I tried not to say that in front of Rae. While she might’ve made peace with Linc playing the guitar, I knew there was no way in hell she wanted him to become a musician.

  As for the two of us, things were progressing as well. She’d flown out almost every weekend we’d been out on tour. Sometimes she brought Linc, but most of the time, she came by herself. While trying to have private time with my girl, I could see why each of the members of Runaway Train had eventually bought their own tour bus when they settled down. Even though she got along great with my siblings and the road crew, I didn’t like sharing what time I had with Rae with the others. I also didn’t like our lovemaking being tempered because Rae was afraid Eli and the others would hear her.

  Others might have thought we hadn’t been together long enough to be thinking of the long-term, but I really didn’t give a shit what they thought. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that there was only one woman in the world for me, and I’d found her in the backwoods of Georgia. I wanted to build a life with Rae, and because of that fact, I’d been doing some serious thinking about popping the question. I just needed to talk to Linc first, and when I glanced up to look at him, I knew there was no time like the present.

  “Can you put the guitar down, buddy?” I asked.

  When he scowled at me, I felt like I was looking at Rae. “But we still have fifteen minutes of practice time.”

  “I know that. It’s just, I need to talk to you about something…something really important.”

  “If this is the facts-of-life stuff, I already know it.
”

  “You do?”

  “Yeah. Papa talked to me about it last year.”

  “While I’m glad you’re informed about sex, that’s not what I want to talk to you about.”

  “Fine,” Linc muttered. He swiveled in his chair to put the guitar back in its case. Once he was finished, he peered expectantly at me. “So, what’s so important that it cuts off my music lesson?”

  Now that I had his full attention, I found myself feeling extremely nervous, like I was sitting in an interrogation room with a light beaming down on me. I wiped my suddenly sweaty palms on my jeans before I cleared my throat. “Your mom and I have been dating for a while now.”

  Tilting his head, Linc appeared lost in thought. “How long has it been?”

  “Eleven months.”

  “Is that a long time?”

  It is when you’ve previously been a commitment-phobic asshole. “For some people, it is, and for others, it isn’t. I feel like it’s a long time for your mom and me—long enough for me to know how I feel about her.”

  “You’re not breaking up with her, are you?”

  I chuckled. “Hell no. She’s the only woman for me, ever.”

  Linc exhaled a relieved breath. “You scared me there for a minute.”

  “I’m sorry.” I leaned forward in my chair. “Not only do I love your mother, I want to spend the rest of my life with her. I’m planning on asking her to marry me.”

  “You are?”

  “Yes, I am.”

  Linc shot out of his chair to throw his arms around my neck. “That’s awesome. And you’ll be my stepdad?”

  “Yep, I sure will.”

  He pulled back to stare wide-eyed at me. “I can’t believe it.”

  I chuckled. “I’m glad you’re happy about it.”

  Confusion suddenly replaced the elation on his face. “Wait, you said you were planning to ask Mom to marry you. Does that mean you haven’t asked her yet?”

  “That’s right.”

  “Shouldn’t you be telling her first before you tell me?”

  I smiled. “In a way, yes, but here’s the thing: there’s an old custom where a man asks the father of the woman he loves if he can marry her. It’s a way to show respect to your future father-in-law.” I reached out to place my hands on his shoulders. “Instead of going to your Papa, I wanted to ask you if I had your permission to marry your mother.”