The Rock Season

by R. L. Merrill

  Aaron’s words blurred as my tears collected. I couldn’t stand it a minute more. I threw together a few things in a bag and I ran downstairs to jump in my new truck. I texted Patrick to tell him I was coming. His answer:

  thank God. Please hurry. I can’t take his brooding anymore.

  I drove as fast as I thought I could get away with and made it to the McShane’s in twenty-five minutes, a new record. I pulled up in front and met Ryan on the back porch. He hugged me and said quietly, “Bless you, Stevie. You really are a miracle.”

  I smiled at him and said, “No, Ryan. He’s my miracle. Can I see him?”

  He gestured up the stairs toward Aaron’s apartment. I kissed him on the cheek, grabbed my bag from the truck, and hurried up the stairs. The door was unlocked so I went inside. Aaron was sitting on the floor with stacks of vinyl around him. He had his headphones on and didn’t hear me come in. I watched him for a minute, my eyes filling up with tears once again. He was shirtless, his back up against the bed, looking for something. I walked around into his line of sight so I wouldn’t startle him. I knelt down in front of him and waited for him to notice me. He was wearing a pair of sweats with the leg cut off over his cast, he hadn’t shaved in probably several days, and he looked like he’d lost some weight.

  His expression was confused when he finally looked up at me. I offered him a smile and touched his casted leg. He looked down at my hand and back at me. I pulled a sharpie out of my bag and started writing on his cast.

  I missed you

  He held his hand out for my pen and he wrote:

  I’ve been trying to find the right words. The right music.

  I smiled at him and took the pen back.

  Let’s do it together. I love you, Aaron Ali Salaam McShane

  He wiped at his face and he looked as though he was going to fall apart. I settled between his open thighs, careful of his cast, and curled up against his chest. He took a few shaky breaths before he tentatively brought his arms around me. And then he buried his face in my hair.

  McShane

  I didn’t trust this to be real until I buried my face in her hair. God, the one place I felt safe and sane… I hadn’t just missed her. I mourned her. This time was worse than before. My leg killing me was the only thing keeping me from feeling completely lost. It was the only thing that kept me grounded. The pain of losing her was too much.

  But somehow she was here and this time I wasn’t going to let her go, I didn’t care how obsessive it sounded. I didn’t want to be without her ever again.

  I pulled the headphone cord out of the jack so she could hear what I was listening to. It was Tonic’s “If You Could Only See.” It wasn’t perfect. I still hadn’t found the perfect song. Maybe I didn’t need to.

  We sat like that for a while, not talking. The sky grew dark outside and I felt like I was drifting into sleep. Stevie turned to me and whispered, “Have you eaten? Do you want me to go get…”

  I shook my head, not wanting her to leave my side. I brushed her hair back from her face. I touched her cheek and ran my fingers around the back of her neck. She looked worried.

  “Baby? What can I do?”

  I shook my head and the tears wouldn’t be stopped. “Forgive me? Stay with me?”

  She smiled and kissed me gently. “Done and done. Let’s get you up, though. Your ass has to be falling asleep.”

  I laughed and it sounded rusty. There’d been no laughter in my life without her. I motioned for her to step back and I pushed myself up until I could get a grip on the mattress and then I sat for a moment.

  “You’re getting pretty good at that,” she said.

  “Lots of time to practice.” I grabbed my crutches and got them in position. “I’m a mess. I think I should go clean up. I’m sorry-”

  She stepped forward and damn if she didn’t shut me up with her kisses. I hated these damn crutches. I wanted to drag her against me, but I had to settle for her soft, forgiving kisses.

  “Do you want me to help,” she asked.

  I smiled at her, thinking of how much fun we’d had with that before. “I will, but right now I just want to be quick about it.” I looked around, realizing this place was a total pit. “I, uh, haven’t had much energy to-”

  “Go clean up,” she said, stepping back from me. “I’ll be here.”

  Those three words comforted me more than ‘I missed you’ and ‘I love you.’ I didn’t want to let her out of my sight, but even I could smell myself and my beard was ridiculous. I felt like Tom Hanks in Cast Away.

  I had mastered the art of showering with my cast on. I had a huge garbage bag I wrapped it in. I took my time washing, shaving, and brushing my teeth…It didn’t make a whole lot of difference. I still looked like shit, but at least I wasn’t rank. I wrapped in my towel and stepped out to find her gone. I started to panic, started to think maybe I’d finally lost it when I heard her on the steps talking to someone. Then I noticed she’d stripped the bed and had picked up my dirty clothes. I wanted to cry again like the nancy I was.

  I stepped over to the closet and brought out fresh linens, but it was impossible to make the bed with crutches. I looked around for something else I could do to clean this shithole and noticed her bag by the door. She was going to stay. As long as I didn’t fuck things up again.

  The door opened and she came in carrying a tray of food with Patrick behind her bringing the beverages.

  “Hey,” she said. “I just wanted to get you some dinner. Patrick told me you haven’t been-”

  “Here’s some stuff to drink, Asshole.” He gave me a warning look.

  Stevie thanked him and he left. I was used to this treatment from him, but Stevie looked concerned.

  “I wanted to-”

  “Thank you, Stevie. I hate this. I have to say this. I hate you having to take care of me. I hated it before, I hate it now, and I’m going to hate it for another six weeks.”

  She rolled her eyes. “And that’s why I love to do it. I know you hate being taken care of, Aaron. I’m sorry for that. But I intend to enjoy myself.” She eyed my towel and blushed. Damn, I missed that blush. “Yes, enjoy myself. Like if you stay in just a towel, or like nothing, for the next six weeks, that’d be awesome.”

  My turn to roll my eyes. “Very funny. I find nothing about my situation sexy.”

  She licked her lips and her eyes travelled down my body. “Yeah, well, that’s where you’re wrong. I find plenty about you sexy. And…” Then her face fell and she turned back to the counter. “I’m sorry, Aaron. Look, I came here because I missed you and I wanted to see you. I shouldn’t expect you’d want to just jump right back into things. I know you don’t trust me, and I understand.”

  I swung myself over to her as quickly as I could, maneuvering this tiny space. I stopped behind her and ran my fingers down her back.

  “Stevie, look at me.”

  She turned to face me, sorrow and a little embarrassment there. “You have nothing to be sorry for. You were a godsend! I never could have made it through without you. And I should have trusted you. I should never have doubted that you would be there for me, for the twins. I was afraid, love, that if you had to go through all of this with me, you wouldn’t want me anymore. I’m an asshole. I know that. But I promise I won’t doubt you again. Just please, stay with me. I don’t ever want to be without you again.”

  She seemed deeply affected by my words. Her arms came around my waist and she held me tight to her. I couldn’t resist inhaling the sweet smell of her gorgeous hair. It calmed me, soothed me. She ran her hands along my back, giving me chills. She looked up at me and smiled. “Then don’t be without me.”

  Later that night after we’d eaten the food she brought up, she picked up the rest of my mess, insisting I relax and just be. She made the bed, she washed the dishes, and she did more laundry. Then she took off her clothes, helped me into bed, and showed me just how much I didn’t need my leg to make love. She took really good care of me. We fell asleep togeth
er and my heart was considerably lighter.

  We stayed in my apartment for two days before my parents finally came up and knocked. It was Tuesday night just before dinner.

  “Hi, come in,” Stevie said when she opened the door.

  We’d managed to get me into a pair of basketball shorts, although she complained the whole time that I wasn’t ‘accessible’ in shorts. I was afraid she was going to make me wear a sarong for the next few weeks. Not that I would have minded. I was seeing the real attractiveness of being stranded naked on an island with her.

  Mom came over to the couch and sat beside me, taking my hand in hers. “You look much better, Son. I am glad you have been eating, but we want you two to join us for meal times again soon. We miss the both of you.”

  “We will, Mom. We were actually going to come down tonight.” Only a little fib.

  We had talked about it, but our last meal we ate off of each other and I was kind of looking forward to doing some more of that. Pops cleared his throat, snapping me out of my inappropriate thoughts.

  “Son, we came up here to let the two of ye know what’s been happening. We met with the D.A. yesterday and they told us they are going to press charges against the other boys fer the parking lot incident at school. It seems the four boys who were there were also the ones who came to the house. They confessed to everything after being told surveillance cameras at the school captured their activities. Their parents want to enter a plea so there will be no trial for that. But Anita’s case is going to trial after the holidays. We’ve talked to the twins and they don’t want to go back to school until after the trial. Mr. San Juan feels terrible fer the whole mess. He’s expelled Chris and Jon, the boys on the Water Polo team, fer threats, intimidation, and unsportsmanlike conduct. He also said that if Stevie were still able to homeschool the boys, they would treat it like a long-term independent study, so they don’t have to change schools or earn a diploma from another school. They will still be able to swim in the spring.”

  It was a lot of information to process, but it all seemed positive. Stevie agreed to help the boys. She and Pops would go down tomorrow and meet with Vince and get all the materials.

  “This will be good for the boys and for you,” Mom murmured. “We want them to work at the store for you, part time, so they can help you, too, Son.”

  “But Mom, I don’t want them to have to work! They should be enjoying their senior year.”

  Stevie sat on the arm of the couch next to me. “It’ll give them time away from each other and give me time to work with them individually, too. I’ll be able to give them real life lessons about Economics. It’ll be fun!”

  My parents laughed with her. I took a good look at Pops. He was really looking good. He seemed more like his old self. I was kind of grateful to have him here, taking care of things again. Stevie was talking again, the sound of her voice making my heart skip a little.

  “Unfortunately, the twins’ lives were irrevocably changed the night of the party. I know you want them to enjoy their senior year, but they have been prematurely thrust into the real world and they actually seem to be more mature as a result. They don’t regret any of it. Well, they regret you getting hurt. And my car, but I told them that was going to be part of their schooling.”

  Stevie looked over at Pops and winked. Apparently, while I’d been up here stewing, my family had been in deep collusion with the woman who stole my heart. I wondered just what else they were planning.

  “Yeah, those boys ain’t gonna know what hit ‘em. I’ve got a few projects planned for them to help out with, all in the name a’ learning.”

  Mom laughed and leaned over to kiss my cheek. “Come join us, Ali. I miss your smile.”

  I squeezed her hand. “I will. Stevie, would you go with Mom down to the house, please? I need to have a word with Pops.”

  She smiled at me and both of my beautiful women kissed my cheeks before leaving arm in arm.

  I looked over at Pops, who hadn’t smiled once since coming in. I was suddenly very nervous, but I needed to speak.

  “Pops, I’m so sorry I let you down. I didn’t want you and Mom to have to come home because I couldn’t handle things. I know I made it worse after you returned and I’m sorry for that, too. I promise, when I get back on my feet, you and Mom are going to take another trip, just the two of you. Wherever you want to go.” Pops just sat staring at me. I shut up, not able to gauge his mood.

  “Are you quite finished, Son?” I blinked. Shit. “I am tired of ye apologizing for shite that ye have no cause to apologize fer. If ye hadn’t noticed, ye’ve bloody got a broken leg. I am angry that ye and yer mother opted not to tell me that ye were so seriously injured. She’s already heard from me on that subject. What makes ye think things would have been any different if I were here? My being angry with ye has everything to do with what ye’ve done since I’ve been home. Son, ye can’t lock yourself up away in here until that cast comes off! And ye can’t keep trying to take care of everything with no help. Jesus, Son! D’ye know why I was able to take care of things when ye were a lad? Because of yer Mom. We men are nothing without our women. It’s always been and always will be that way. I saw how ye were hurting because ye wouldn’t let Stevie be there for ye. I understand, I do. I was the same when I got this damn cancer. But yer Mom and I had been doing this a lot longer and she knew how to deal with my stubborn arse. Stevie was just getting to know ye. I only want what’s best for ye, Aaron. I hope now that she’s back ye’ll come out of this fecking hole you’ve been hiding in and rejoin civilization.”

  I didn’t know what to say, so I just nodded. I ran my hands back over my head and took a deep breath. “Thanks, Pops.”

  He stood and I managed to get myself upright. We stood there looking at each other and Pops suddenly laughed.

  “What’s so funny,” I asked.

  He shook his head. “It’s only when I’m standing next to ye that I realize just how much of a man ye’ve become. A good man. I love ye, Son. Come and have some eats.” He clapped me on the back and went out the door.

  I stood there trying to collect myself before going to join my family.

  Dinner was a raucous occasion. I was still quiet while everyone else was talking and laughing and making plans.

  “Ryan, I really think it would be best to let a body shop deal with the external stuff. That’s not fun work to do.”

  “Nonsense, lassie. I love working with the sanders and Bond-o. We’ll get it professionally painted, but let’s do the rest ourselves. Ye can call yer insurance company tomorrow and we’ll get a quote on replacing the glass. I think the rest we can fix on our own.”

  Stevie was still shaking her head. “Whatever you say, Ryan. I still think you’re crazy.”

  Pops wiggled his eyebrows and reached over to pinch Mom under the table. She swatted at him and then leaned over to kiss him. “Oh, I almost forgot to tell you all! I spoke to my mother today. The wedding was last weekend and she will be returning with Aziz and Nasreen this weekend. They will be moving into their new place right after and they’ve asked Grandma Samadi to move in with them. She agreed, but only after they’ve had some newlywed time. You know, to make her a great grandbaby.”

  We all laughed and toasted the happy couple.

  “Does this mean we can have her room? Then we can have a game room and a bedroom.” I thought it was cute that the twins didn’t want to split up, given the chance.

  “Screw that! Let’s move into Aziz’s apartment!”

  Pops frowned at Patrick, who’d come up with the second plan.

  “Absolutely not! I’m not having ye two out there on yer own. Besides,” he said with a twinkle in his eye. “I’ve got other plans for that space.” He smiled at me. Ok, now I was confused.

  “How about we go out for some ice cream,” Mom suggested, effectively changing the subject. I wiped my mouth with my napkin and pushed back.

  “I’m not sure I’m up for that much of an outing.”

 
; She smiled and said, “Well then, we’ll bring it back here.” She shooed Pops out the door, claiming she couldn’t carry it all herself.

  Peter and Stevie did the dishes while Patrick glared at me from across the table. Apparently I needed to do some repair work here in the big house.

  “Why don’t you tell me what’s on your mind, brother?”

  Stevie and Peter turned around and looked between the two of us. Patrick folded his hands in front of him and looked down.

  “What do you want me to say?” His voice was strained.

  “How ‘bout you start by telling me why you are angry with me? I’ve given you many reasons, so why don’t you give me the rundown?”

  Patrick glared up at me for a long time. “I’m pissed you’ve been hiding away up there.”