The Idiot
Page 10
So he and the general determined to try what an attempt to appealto her heart would effect. Having arrived at Nastasia’s house one day,with Epanchin, Totski immediately began to speak of the intolerabletorment of his position. He admitted that he was to blame for all, butcandidly confessed that he could not bring himself to feel any remorsefor his original guilt towards herself, because he was a man of sensualpassions which were inborn and ineradicable, and that he had no powerover himself in this respect; but that he wished, seriously, to marry atlast, and that the whole fate of the most desirable social union whichhe contemplated, was in her hands; in a word, he confided his all to hergenerosity of heart.
General Epanchin took up his part and spoke in the character of fatherof a family; he spoke sensibly, and without wasting words over anyattempt at sentimentality, he merely recorded his full admission ofher right to be the arbiter of Totski’s destiny at this moment. He thenpointed out that the fate of his daughter, and very likely of both hisother daughters, now hung upon her reply.
To Nastasia’s question as to what they wished her to do, Totskiconfessed that he had been so frightened by her, five years ago, thathe could never now be entirely comfortable until she herself married. Heimmediately added that such a suggestion from him would, of course, beabsurd, unless accompanied by remarks of a more pointed nature. Hevery well knew, he said, that a certain young gentleman of good family,namely, Gavrila Ardalionovitch Ivolgin, with whom she was acquainted,and whom she received at her house, had long loved her passionately,and would give his life for some response from her. The young fellow hadconfessed this love of his to him (Totski) and had also admitted it inthe hearing of his benefactor, General Epanchin. Lastly, he could nothelp being of opinion that Nastasia must be aware of Gania’s love forher, and if he (Totski) mistook not, she had looked with some favourupon it, being often lonely, and rather tired of her present life.Having remarked how difficult it was for him, of all people, to speakto her of these matters, Totski concluded by saying that he trustedNastasia Philipovna would not look with contempt upon him if he nowexpressed his sincere desire to guarantee her future by a gift ofseventy-five thousand roubles. He added that the sum would have beenleft her all the same in his will, and that therefore she must notconsider the gift as in any way an indemnification to her for anything,but that there was no reason, after all, why a man should not be allowedto entertain a natural desire to lighten his conscience, etc., etc.; infact, all that would naturally be said under the circumstances. Totskiwas very eloquent all through, and, in conclusion, just touched on thefact that not a soul in the world, not even General Epanchin, had everheard a word about the above seventy-five thousand roubles, and thatthis was the first time he had ever given expression to his intentionsin respect to them.
Nastasia Philipovna’s reply to this long rigmarole astonished both thefriends considerably.
Not only was there no trace of her former irony, of her old hatred andenmity, and of that dreadful laughter, the very recollection of whichsent a cold chill down Totski’s back to this very day; but she seemedcharmed and really glad to have the opportunity of talking seriouslywith him for once in a way. She confessed that she had long wished tohave a frank and free conversation and to ask for friendly advice, butthat pride had hitherto prevented her; now, however, that the ice wasbroken, nothing could be more welcome to her than this opportunity.
First, with a sad smile, and then with a twinkle of merriment in hereyes, she admitted that such a storm as that of five years ago was nowquite out of the question. She said that she had long since changedher views of things, and recognized that facts must be taken intoconsideration in spite of the feelings of the heart. What was done wasdone and ended, and she could not understand why Totski should stillfeel alarmed.
She next turned to General Epanchin and observed, most courteously, thatshe had long since known of his daughters, and that she had heard nonebut good report; that she had learned to think of them with deep andsincere respect. The idea alone that she could in any way serve them,would be to her both a pride and a source of real happiness.
It was true that she was lonely in her present life; Totski had judgedher thoughts aright. She longed to rise, if not to love, at least tofamily life and new hopes and objects, but as to Gavrila Ardalionovitch,she could not as yet say much. She thought it must be the case that heloved her; she felt that she too might learn to love him, if she couldbe sure of the firmness of his attachment to herself; but he was veryyoung, and it was a difficult question to decide. What she speciallyliked about him was that he worked, and supported his family by histoil.
She had heard that he was proud and ambitious; she had heard much thatwas interesting of his mother and sister, she had heard of them from Mr.Ptitsin, and would much like to make their acquaintance, but--anotherquestion!--would they like to receive her into their house? At allevents, though she did not reject the idea of this marriage, she desirednot to be hurried. As for the seventy-five thousand roubles, Mr. Totskineed not have found any difficulty or awkwardness about the matter; shequite understood the value of money, and would, of course, accept thegift. She thanked him for his delicacy, however, but saw no reason whyGavrila Ardalionovitch should not know about it.
She would not marry the latter, she said, until she felt persuaded thatneither on his part nor on the part of his family did there exist anysort of concealed suspicions as to herself. She did not intend to askforgiveness for anything in the past, which fact she desired to beknown. She did not consider herself to blame for anything that hadhappened in former years, and she thought that Gavrila Ardalionovitchshould be informed as to the relations which had existed between herselfand Totski during the last five years. If she accepted this money it wasnot to be considered as indemnification for her misfortune as a younggirl, which had not been in any degree her own fault, but merely ascompensation for her ruined life.
She became so excited and agitated during all these explanations andconfessions that General Epanchin was highly gratified, and consideredthe matter satisfactorily arranged once for all. But the once bittenTotski was twice shy, and looked for hidden snakes among the flowers.However, the special point to which the two friends particularly trustedto bring about their object (namely, Gania’s attractiveness for NastasiaPhilipovna), stood out more and more prominently; the pourparlers hadcommenced, and gradually even Totski began to believe in the possibilityof success.
Before long Nastasia and Gania had talked the matter over. Verylittle was said--her modesty seemed to suffer under the inflictionof discussing such a question. But she recognized his love, on theunderstanding that she bound herself to nothing whatever, and thatshe reserved the right to say “no” up to the very hour of the marriageceremony. Gania was to have the same right of refusal at the lastmoment.
It soon became clear to Gania, after scenes of wrath and quarrellingsat the domestic hearth, that his family were seriously opposed to thematch, and that Nastasia was aware of this fact was equally evident. Shesaid nothing about it, though he daily expected her to do so.
There were several rumours afloat, before long, which upset Totski’sequanimity a good deal, but we will not now stop to describe them;merely mentioning an instance or two. One was that Nastasia had enteredinto close and secret relations with the Epanchin girls--a most unlikelyrumour; another was that Nastasia had long satisfied herself of the factthat Gania was merely marrying her for money, and that his nature wasgloomy and greedy, impatient and selfish, to an extraordinary degree;and that although he had been keen enough in his desire to achieve aconquest before, yet since the two friends had agreed to exploit hispassion for their own purposes, it was clear enough that he had begun toconsider the whole thing a nuisance and a nightmare.
In his heart passion and hate seemed to hold divided sway, and althoughhe had at last given his consent to marry the woman (as he said), underthe stress of circumstances, yet he promised himself that he would “takeit out of her,” after marriage.
Nastasia seemed to Totski to ha
ve divined all this, and to be preparingsomething on her own account, which frightened him to such an extentthat he did not dare communicate his views even to the general. But attimes he would pluck up his courage and be full of hope and good spiritsagain, acting, in fact, as weak men do act in such circumstances.
However, both the friends felt that the thing looked rosy indeed whenone day Nastasia informed them that she would give her final answer onthe evening of her birthday, which anniversary was due in a very shorttime.
A strange rumour began to circulate, meanwhile; no less than thatthe respectable and highly respected General Epanchin was himself sofascinated by Nastasia Philipovna that his feeling for her amountedalmost to passion. What he thought to gain by Gania’s marriage tothe girl it was difficult to imagine. Possibly he counted on Gania’scomplaisance; for Totski had long suspected that there existed somesecret understanding between the general and his secretary. At allevents the fact was known that he had prepared a magnificent