The Idiot

by Fyodor Dostoyevsky

account, too...

  “That is nothing!” said the prince, waving his hand.

  “But how meek she was when you spoke to her!”

  “Meek! What do you mean?”

  “You told her it was a shame for her to behave so, and her mannerchanged at once; she was like another person. You have some influenceover her, prince,” added Varia, smiling a little.

  The door opened at this point, and in came Gania most unexpectedly.

  He was not in the least disconcerted to see Varia there, but he stood amoment at the door, and then approached the prince quietly.

  “Prince,” he said, with feeling, “I was a blackguard. Forgive me!” Hisface gave evidence of suffering. The prince was considerably amazed,and did not reply at once. “Oh, come, forgive me, forgive me!” Ganiainsisted, rather impatiently. “If you like, I’ll kiss your hand. There!”

  The prince was touched; he took Gania’s hands, and embraced himheartily, while each kissed the other.

  “I never, never thought you were like that,” said Muishkin, drawing adeep breath. “I thought you--you weren’t capable of--”

  “Of what? Apologizing, eh? And where on earth did I get the ideathat you were an idiot? You always observe what other people pass byunnoticed; one could talk sense to you, but--”

  “Here is another to whom you should apologize,” said the prince,pointing to Varia.

  “No, no! they are all enemies! I’ve tried them often enough, believeme,” and Gania turned his back on Varia with these words.

  “But if I beg you to make it up?” said Varia.

  “And you’ll go to Nastasia Philipovna’s this evening--”

  “If you insist: but, judge for yourself, can I go, ought I to go?”

  “But she is not that sort of woman, I tell you!” said Gania, angrily.“She was only acting.”

  “I know that--I know that; but what a part to play! And think what shemust take _you_ for, Gania! I know she kissed mother’s hand, and all that,but she laughed at you, all the same. All this is not good enoughfor seventy-five thousand roubles, my dear boy. You are capable ofhonourable feelings still, and that’s why I am talking to you so. Oh! _do_take care what you are doing! Don’t you know yourself that it will endbadly, Gania?”

  So saying, and in a state of violent agitation, Varia left the room.

  “There, they are all like that,” said Gania, laughing, “just as if I donot know all about it much better than they do.”

  He sat down with these words, evidently intending to prolong his visit.

  “If you know it so well,” said the prince a little timidly, “why do youchoose all this worry for the sake of the seventy-five thousand, which,you confess, does not cover it?”

  “I didn’t mean that,” said Gania; “but while we are upon the subject,let me hear your opinion. Is all this worry worth seventy-five thousandor not?”

  “Certainly not.”

  “Of course! And it would be a disgrace to marry so, eh?”

  “A great disgrace.”

  “Oh, well, then you may know that I shall certainly do it, now. I shallcertainly marry her. I was not quite sure of myself before, but now Iam. Don’t say a word: I know what you want to tell me--”

  “No. I was only going to say that what surprises me most of all is yourextraordinary confidence.”

  “How so? What in?”

  “That Nastasia Philipovna will accept you, and that the question is asgood as settled; and secondly, that even if she did, you would be ableto pocket the money. Of course, I know very little about it, but that’smy view. When a man marries for money it often happens that the wifekeeps the money in her own hands.”

  “Of course, you don’t know all; but, I assure you, you needn’t beafraid, it won’t be like that in our case. There are circumstances,” said Gania, rather excitedly. “And as to her answer to me, there’s nodoubt about that. Why should you suppose she will refuse me?”

  “Oh, I only judge by what I see. Varvara Ardalionovna said just now--”

  “Oh she--they don’t know anything about it! Nastasia was only chaffingRogojin. I was alarmed at first, but I have thought better of it now;she was simply laughing at him. She looks on me as a fool because I showthat I meant her money, and doesn’t realize that there are other menwho would deceive her in far worse fashion. I’m not going to pretendanything, and you’ll see she’ll marry me, all right. If she likes tolive quietly, so she shall; but if she gives me any of her nonsense, Ishall leave her at once, but I shall keep the money. I’m not going tolook a fool; that’s the first thing, not to look a fool.”

  “But Nastasia Philipovna seems to me to be such a _sensible_ woman, and,as such, why should she run blindly into this business? That’s whatpuzzles me so,” said the prince.

  “You don’t know all, you see; I tell you there are things--and besides,I’m sure that she is persuaded that I love her to distraction, and Igive you my word I have a strong suspicion that she loves me, too--inher own way, of course. She thinks she will be able to make a sort ofslave of me all my life; but I shall prepare a little surprise for her.I don’t know whether I ought to be confidential with you, prince; but,I assure you, you are the only decent fellow I have come across. I havenot spoken so sincerely as I am doing at this moment for years. Thereare uncommonly few honest people about, prince; there isn’t one honesterthan Ptitsin, he’s the best of the lot. Are you laughing? You don’tknow, perhaps, that blackguards like honest people, and being one myselfI like you. _Why_ am I a blackguard? Tell me honestly, now. They all callme a blackguard because of her, and I have got into the way of thinkingmyself one. That’s what is so bad about the business.”

  “_I_ for one shall never think you a blackguard again,” said the prince.“I confess I had a poor opinion of you at first, but I have been sojoyfully surprised about you just now; it’s a good lesson for me. Ishall never judge again without a thorough trial. I see now that you arenot only not a blackguard, but are not even quite spoiled. I see thatyou are quite an ordinary man, not original in the least degree, butrather weak.”

  Gania laughed sarcastically, but said nothing. The prince, seeing thathe did not quite like the last remark, blushed, and was silent too.

  “Has my father asked you for money?” asked Gania, suddenly.

  “No.”

  “Don’t give it to him if he does. Fancy, he was a decent, respectableman once! He was received in the best society; he was not always theliar he is now. Of course, wine is at the bottom of it all; but he is agood deal worse than an innocent liar now. Do you know that he keeps amistress? I can’t understand how mother is so long-suffering. Did hetell you the story of the siege of Kars? Or perhaps the one about hisgrey horse that talked? He loves to enlarge on these absurd histories.” And Gania burst into a fit of laughter. Suddenly he turned to the princeand asked: “Why are you looking at me like that?”

  “I am surprised to see you laugh in that way, like a child. You cameto make friends with me again just now, and you said, ‘I will kiss yourhand, if you like,’ just as a child would have said it. And then, all atonce you are talking of this mad project--of these seventy-five thousandroubles! It all seems so absurd and impossible.”

  “Well, what conclusion have you reached?”

  “That you are rushing madly into the undertaking, and that you woulddo well to think it over again. It is more than possible that VarvaraArdalionovna is right.”

  “Ah! now you begin to moralize! I know that I am only a child, verywell,” replied Gania impatiently. “That is proved by my having thisconversation with you. It is not for money only, prince, that I amrushing into this affair,” he continued, hardly master of his words,so closely had his vanity been touched. “If I reckoned on that I shouldcertainly be deceived, for I am still too weak in mind and character.I am obeying a passion, an impulse perhaps, because I have but one aim,one that overmasters all else. You imagine that once I am in possessionof these seventy-five thousand roubles, I shall rush to buy acarriage... No, I
shall go on wearing the old overcoat I have worn forthree years, and I shall give up my club. I shall follow the example ofmen who have made their fortunes. When Ptitsin was seventeen he sleptin the street, he sold pen-knives, and began with a copeck; now he hassixty thousand roubles, but to get them, what has he not done? Well,I shall be spared such a hard beginning, and shall start with a littlecapital. In fifteen years people will say, ‘Look, that’s Ivolgin, theking of the Jews!’ You say that I have no originality. Now mark this,prince--there is nothing so offensive to a man of our time and racethan to be told that he is wanting in originality, that he is weakin character, has no particular talent, and is, in short, an ordinaryperson. You have not even done me the honour of looking upon me as arogue. Do you know, I could have knocked you down for that just now! Youwounded me more cruelly than Epanchin, who thinks me capable of sellinghim my wife! Observe, it was a perfectly gratuitous idea on his part,seeing there has never been any discussion of it between us! This hasexasperated me, and I am determined to make a fortune! I will do it!Once I am rich, I shall be a genius, an extremely original man. One ofthe vilest and most