by Nana Malone
He shoved the blonde’s hand off and walked over to join the rest of his colleagues, and Selena. His mouth was dry. He wanted to tell her it was nothing, but what the hell would he say? He couldn’t tell her about the note. And she would kill him for making a scene in front of the team. What he had with her was fragile enough without making a show of it and embarrassing her.
The blonde walked towards the door, shooting a smile and a wave at Nick. “Maybe another time, Nicky. I’ll be back.”
When he looked up, his gaze met Selena’s. Gone was the happy look he was used to seeing. Now she was guarded, shuttered.
The party was fizzling out in the open plan office. Selena could hear chuckles and rustling as a few girls were gathering up plates and cups into garbage bags. Her taste for fun had soured after Nick’s encounter and she had gritted her teeth for the rest of the party, trying to keep things as light as possible. The last thing she wanted was to look like an uptight bitch at her own drinks session. After a couple of glasses of wine, she felt it was safe to escape to her office, and there she was, alone and seething. How could she have been so wrong about him?
Selena paced her office, arms folded.
What did you think? That he was in love with you? You sleep with him the first time you are alone together and you’re suddenly surprised to see he’s a player. The guy has serious sexual skill. Of course he’s a player.
And she was stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid. She picked up her mobile and called Dee.
“Dee, can you talk right now? You won’t believe what I just saw. That bloody asshole took a woman’s number, at least I think it was her number, it was a note anyway. He’s nothing but a player.”
There was a pause and a sigh. “I can’t really talk right now,” Dee said. “I’m at the hospital with Roger’s mum. We think she’s on her way out. The cancer’s spread so much.”
Selena took a sharp intake of breath. “Oh Dee, I’m so sorry. I’ve been such a shit friend. You never said it was getting worse. Did Dr. Mathews help?”
“Yeah, Lena. Thank you for sorting us out with him. We know he’s the best in London, but even he can’t work miracles. It’s too late now. I never said anything because I’ve been in denial. I didn’t want to believe it.”
Selena’s chest ached for her friend. “Let me know if you need anything. Anything at all.” She would put Nick and her own pain, and memories of pleasure, out of her mind. He was bad news. A mistake. That’s all it was.
35
Since the day of the party, Nick hadn’t been able to get Selena off of his mind. He couldn’t eat. And sleep? Well, that was not happening. She sure as shit wasn’t talking to him. He’d called, texted. And at the office, she avoided him. Not that he could blame her. It must have looked shitty that day at the office happy hour—happy being the ironic word. He had been as far removed from happy as a pig being washed and blow-dried.
Let her go. You have work to do. Tired or not, Nick still had to keep on track with his future plans. He had missed a few lectures recently, so he dragged his tired ass to an evening class to catch up. After the hour of corporate law was over, his tutor called out to him as the class was moving in a crowd towards the door.
“Nick, have you got a minute?”
“Yes, Steve,” he said, rubbing his jaw. Had he failed his last essay? He knew he hadn’t been putting in enough effort, what with Paris and thoughts of Selena, plus Chris. His concentration was being pulled in too many directions. He was never the sort to play the victim, but maybe this time he had taken on too much. Maybe the great Nick Harvey wasn’t completely indestructible after all.
“It’s just, you’ve been a bit distracted lately,” his lecturer said, frowning and parking his butt on the edge of his desk, arms folded, in a half-standing half-sitting position. “Is everything all right?”
Nick sighed and looked up at the ceiling. He didn’t know what to say. No. Nothing was all right any more. “Yeah. I’m fine. There’s a few things going on with my family, but I’m sorting it.”
Steve smiled, but Nick saw concern in his eyes. “I really hope you do. I’d hate to see you fall behind again. You’re so bright and you could do so much if you just put your mind to it. I don’t often take students aside like this, but I’m worried about you. You’re one of the best. Don’t let that slide.”
Nick nodded his head slowly, agreeing. “Thanks, I won’t. I promise. I’ll try and stop worrying about my family so much.”
“Good stuff,” said Steve, giving Nick a firm pat on the shoulder. “If you need anything just ask. That’s what I’m paid to do. Half the buggers in this class don’t seem to give even a fraction of the shits you do. It’s students like you that make my job worth doing. And if things go well, I happen to have a friend who’s on the lookout for a business graduate for a new role in his company. I could put in a good word. Just keep your head in the game, okay?”
“Cheers, that’s awesome. I will.” Nick said, slinging his bag over his shoulder. He wouldn’t let this part of his life turn to shit as well, like every other part had recently.
The next day at work, after another sleepless night, he had dark circles under his eyes and couldn’t stop glancing up at Selena’s door every time he heard the familiar click of her handle. He was hoping for an olive branch. He wanted to know if she was okay. But knocking on her door felt wrong. He would wait it out. Bring her a coffee perhaps. Yes. That was it.
He sprinted out of the office building and round the corner to the little cafe she liked. He had heard her telling Nancy it was a good place to get peace with her laptop and that the vintage decor and teapot collection reminded her of her grandma. He rushed through the door and straight to the counter. “Two Americanos and two skinny, seeded muffins please,” he asked, breathless from the run.
“Meeting someone?” came a voice from behind him. Selena was sitting at a table, her laptop open in front of her.
Nick fumbled for his words. “No. I, erm, I came to get this, for you.”
Her eyebrows rose. “For me?”
“Yes. I haven’t seen you for days. I thought it might be nice to—”
“—to slot me in,” she interrupted.
Nick’s mouth opened. “Are you talking about that woman who was at my desk?”
“No,” said Selena, avoiding eye contact. “Why would I? None of my business.”
“I don’t even know her,” Nick continued. “She just…” He couldn’t finish the sentence. What would he say? She just delivered a note from your scumbag brother. Oh yeah, did I forget to mention I’m meeting him tonight?
Selena drove a long hard stare into Nick’s eyes. “Whatever,” she muttered and slid her glance back to her computer screen.
Nick’s heart sank. He paid for his order and walked out, dumping the paper bag on Selena’s table as he left. The rest of the day trundled on slowly, a blur of mundane tasks until five o’clock when a surge of nerves raced through Nick. He cradled the blue file in the crook of his arm and made his way to the restaurant. Why did it have to be at Soho House? Why couldn’t Simon have chosen somewhere else? Let’s just get this over with.
He entered the bar area and glanced over at the empty table where he and Selena had eaten breakfast that day. It sent a stabbing pain through him. He had gotten so close to getting her to trust him and let her guard down. That was in tatters now.
He spotted Simon in a blue designer suit jacket in one corner.
“Nick, mate, have a seat,” Simon said with a wide grin.
“I’m not your mate.”
Simon sat back with a grin. “Fair enough. Have it your way. But you know, as soon as you’re finished with this little, project, I could see if I can find a more permanent job for you. If you play nicely, of course.”
“That won’t be necessary,” Nick said through stiff lips.
“You’re not sulking because of my little visitors are you?” Simon asked, brow lifted. “I don’t take well to being mucked about. I needed to make t
hat clear.” He took a sip from a glass of scotch. “Want one?”
“No,” Nick said. “Can we get this over with?”
“You know, you impressed me,” Simon added. “You’re made of strong stuff. I could do with someone like you permanently. It’s much better down my end of the building. Dad basically just left me an arm of the company to do with as I please. We come up with ideas and, well, that’s about it really. I pitch all our ideas to the board at a monthly meeting and any that are worthy get passed on to Selena’s department. Except, lately, nothing has been getting through. She’s sitting there in all her glory while I get stuffed into a corner like a giant chump. Don’t get me wrong, I like not having to do very much, gives me more time for the ladies,” he winked.
“You’re still talking. Why are you still talking? I want this done.”
Simon ignored him. “I get sick of seeing Selena’s smug face taking all the credit. She’s just a daddy’s girl who got lucky. That’s all. The board of trustees hinted that Dad allowed them power to change things. Whoever has the best ideas over time is the right person to head up the firm—sort of like she’s there on a trial basis, until I take over at the top, calling all the shots, meeting all those models. So let’s see what we’ve got. Let’s get that bitch where it hurts.”
Simon reached out to take the file and met resistance as Nick’s fingers held on. “Don’t fucking call her that,” he hissed, before releasing his grip.
Simon eyed Nick for what felt like ages, before saying through pursed lips. “Just how close are you getting to my sister? I saw you working at that bar. You had the women in the palm of your hand. That’s why I chose you. I hoped you would charm Selena into spilling all her secrets. But I can’t afford for you to be too charming. I need you in and out of this job like a ninja, leaving no messy traces behind, like pathetic broken hearts. She’s a bit of a softie, and lives like a nun, so don’t go getting her all flustered. I don’t want her remembering you and raising suspicions.”
Nick swallowed hard.
Simon turned his attention to opening the file. His eyes danced excitedly across the pages of French-inspired images and scribbled notes. “Nice. It’s a little obvious, the whole Paris thing, but everyone loves it, so why not?”
Simon slid a brown envelope with a wad of cash inside towards Nick. He grabbed it and put it inside his jacket pocket immediately.
“Anything else I should know before I take my ideas to the board?” He winked again.
Before Nick could answer, a tall brunette approached. “Simon? How are you? I haven’t seen you in weeks? What are you doing tonight?”
Simon put one hand on her ass and laughed. “You, perhaps.”
Nick shifted in his seat and looked at his watch.
Just then a look of panic washed the grin off Simon’s face and he rose to his feet muttering he needed to go to the men’s room. “Take my seat, love,” he said to the brunette. “Make yourself comfy. I’ll be right back.”
The brunette sat down opposite Nick. She smiled and leaned forward. “So what do you do? Do you work with Simon?”
Nick took in a deep breath and replied with stiff lips, “No.” He was giving nothing away.
“Okay then,” she said, peering at him through lowered eyelashes. “Is there a Mrs.? You are so hot.” Nick turned his head away, just in time to see Selena take a seat at a nearby table with Nancy and another woman from the office. They were carrying folders. It looked like a business supper. She spotted him at the same time and dropped her jaw. She stammered something to Nancy, got up, her hand shielding her face and marched to the bathroom.
No, not again. Nick leapt to his feet and chased after her.
“Selena, it’s not what it looks like,” he yelled, aware that diners were watching. Shit, Nancy was watching too.
She stopped and turned to face him, her face twisted into a frown. “What do you think it looks like?” she asked, her voice shaking.
“I know it looks bad,” Nick said, stretching his arms out to the side, as if bearing himself to her. “I’m not here with her. She just appeared.”
“Then who are you here with?” She asked, her lips so tight she had to spit the words.
“No one,” he said, a flush creeping up his neck.
“So you came here on your own? With your membership card. Hmmm?”
She had him cornered. He looked guilty as hell. He was guilty, but not of being with another woman. He was a shit, he could agree, but he was desperate to clear things up. He just couldn’t.
Nick caught the eye of a woman who had turned 180 degrees in her seat to watch. “Selena, can we do this somewhere else?”
“No chance. I never want to be alone with you again.”
“But—look, I can explain. If we could just talk.” Nick’s phone rang. He looked at the screen to see it was Chris. “Shit. I have to take this.”
“Another admirer?” Selena asked.
“No, it’s…” Nick frowned. Selena had already turned away and begun walking. He wanted with all his body and all his soul to run after her, but he had a little matter of life and death to take care of first.
36
Nick waited by Smith’s Garage, like Chris had said. Darkness had fallen but London sparkled on, the streetlights and tall buildings acting as candles. A siren rang out in the distance, sending shudders through him.
A shadowy figure shifted at the corner of the garage.
“Chris?” Nick called out, seriously hoping it was his brother. The last thing he wanted was some tosser mugging him when he had a wad of cash in his pocket.
Chris moved out into the orange glow of the streetlight. Nick ran towards him and grasped him in a tight hug, before backing off and examining him.
“It’s so good to see you,” Chris sniffed, his eyes sunken into dark pits of exhaustion.
“Here,” Nick said gently as he stuffed the envelope of cash into Chris’s pocket. “There will be more soon, but hopefully this will keep whoever is after you at bay for a while.”
Chris looked into his brother’s eyes and said, “You’re all right aren’t you, bruv?”
It was the first time Nick had heard concern come from his little brother. Chris usually took the help without an ounce of gratitude.
“Hunky dory,” he said, thrusting his hands into his jean pockets and shifting from foot to foot. He looked down at Chris’s hand and saw tattered bandages holding two fingers together.
“Jesus. What happened there?” Nick asked.
“Don’t worry, it wasn’t those big fellas again. It was someone else,” Chris replied stuffing his hand into his own pocket and wincing. “I know I’m a mess, Nick, but I swear I’m done with it all this time. I was a stupid bastard. I got back into dealing but I spent the money and used some of the gear I was supposed to sell. As soon as this is paid off I’m going to move away. I can’t keep going round in circles.”
“No, you can’t,” Nick agreed.
“Look, I’d better go,” Chris said, suddenly looking behind him. “I’ll call you soon.” With that he ran off, leaving Nick to walk slowly back to the nearest Tube station. His heart was as heavy as a lead weight. Without the hope of touching Selena’s soft skin or hearing her gentle laugh, all he had was Simon and this mission to pay off Chris’s debts.
At least she won’t get in the way of this task. It’s not as if I have anything left to save with her. She deserves a stand-up guy who’ll tell her the truth.
He made his way to his mother’s house. At least there was one woman he could make happy, by delivering the news that her son was still alive, for now.
When he got to his mum’s flat and tried the door, it was locked. The lights were on so he knew she was home. “Mum, it’s Nick,” he yelled through the letter box, as three young guys with hoods pulled so far over their heads Nick could only make out shadowy shapes on their faces. “Ooh, mama’s boy,” one of the guys mocked. Nick rolled his eyes and ignored them. Unlock the bloody door.
The boys stood and watched for a moment, causing Nick’s body to go rigid, ready to defend himself. He knew their type—up for a fight at the drop of a cigarette paper.
A shuffling sound came from beyond the door and the silhouette of his mum projected onto the glass as she fiddled and jangled at several locks. Eventually the door opened and she gave a weak smile to see her eldest son. Then she saw the three boys and her smile dissolved into a steely grimace. “Clear off,” she barked.
“Not until you give us a blowy,” one the boys snarled, causing the other two to erupt into a hyena chorus of laughter. They turned and ran down the terrace to the stairwell.
“Mum, why won’t you leave this shit hole?” Nick groaned, placing his hands on her shoulders.
“What, and spend all that pot of magic gold I have in my bedroom?” she asked, rolling her eyes.
“You don’t need money to get out of here,” Nick responded firmly. “Come and live with me, even if it’s just temporary, until we can get the council to house you somewhere better. My place isn’t exactly in a fancy area, but it’s a hell of a lot safer than here.”
She sniffed and shuffled towards the kitchen to put the kettle on. She looked thin and tired. Her hair was wispy and definitely greyer.
“Are you looking after yourself? Eating enough?” Nick asked, following her.
“I’m fine,” she scolded. “I’ve stopped going out to the shops so much because of those ratty little boys. They took a tenner off Marjory the other day. That was ten pounds she could have used towards the groceries that week. Wankers. And all they’ll do with it is buy drugs or ciggies, or whatever.”
Nick folded his arms and sighed. “Do you need me to bring you some shopping?”
She turned to look at him, her hard eyes softening. “That would be lovely sweetheart. I could do with bread and milk.” She opened the cupboard and took out the teabag container to make him a cup, and said, “And tea. Sorry love. I’m all out.”
