by Nana Malone
Nick kissed his mum’s cheek, and ran around to the corner shop, bringing back a bag so full of groceries it ripped along the bottom seam and he had to cradle it at the bottom as he walked back to the flat.
He unpacked the food, letting his mum put it away in the right places, and they sat down to a cup of tea. It felt good making her life just a little bit better. He could already see her relaxing a little, a smile tugging at one corner of her mouth as she put two packets of biscuits in a tin.
Nick took a sip of his hot tea and let out a sigh. “That’s good. After the day I’ve had.”
His mum looked into his eyes. “Everything all right?”
“Yes, that’s why I’m here, to tell you I’ve seen Chris.”
She put one hand on her mouth and her eyes widened.
“He’s fine,” Nick continued. “I’ve given him some money. He’ll be okay. We’ve still got a bit of work to do, and I’ve got no idea where he’s hiding out, but he’s alive, which is all you need to know.”
She closed her eyes and exhaled. “Thank you, Nick,” she whispered, her voice quivering. “Thanks for always being there. Without you…” she trailed off.
Nick kept his gaze on his tea. If he didn’t, he might say things he would regret. Thoughts were circling his mind furiously about wishing he didn’t have to mop up the shit every time, wishing his brother would straighten out, wishing she would come and stay at his place, where he could keep an eye on her instead of worrying nonstop. He swallowed and forced a smile, putting one hand on his mum’s.
Changing the subject, he said, “I’m glad you’ve put extra locks on your door.”
She smiled and concentrated on her tea.
“What about that broken window? Want me to arrange a replacement?”
She shook her head. “No, darling. Just leave it. They would only smash it again.”
After leaving his mum’s to walk to the underground station, his feet were heavier all of a sudden. He was exhausted. He joined the current of bodies all rushing to get underneath the city like a colony of rats to the sewers. The train arrived instantly, blasting hot fuel-scented air across his face as it ground to a halt.
He boarded and grabbed the overhead rail, allowing it to take the full weight of his body as he soared under the city. He was heading for home, to his empty bed, to lie awake for hours being tortured by flashbacks of Selena’s devastating beauty.
Selena rode the Tube somewhere else under the city. Somehow it felt wrong using her chauffeur-driven Mercedes at a time like this. She hadn’t wanted to turn up at Dee’s modest house, rubbing her wealth in everyone’s faces.
Dee’s mother-in-law had passed away and Selena had dropped everything to rush to her friend. The clients she was supposed to meet for an evening meal could wait. If they really wanted to use Shades of Chic for their salon they would, she reasoned. Friendship comes first.
Dee and Selena had hugged, drank tea, devoured the box of chocolates Selena had brought, and called it a night. Dee’s teary smile at the end of the visit was enough to show Selena it had been worth the trip.
Time for home. It was getting late. She glanced down at her Gucci Mack and Valentino heels. I’m asking for trouble taking the Tube at this time of night in this gear. She began walking to the station entrance, her heeled shoes making a clip clop sound that echoed down the street, the way it only ever does at night. Just as she stepped on the first step, a familiar voice called, “Selena.” She looked up to see Nick leaving the Tube station as she had never seen him before, in a black hooded sweatshirt and Converse sneakers.
“What are you doing here at this time of night?” he asked, walking towards her quickly and putting an arm around her back protectively. She shrugged it off.
“I was visiting a friend. She’s having a rough time.” Selena responded, avoiding his green eyes.
“You really shouldn’t be in an area like this, wearing that. It screams money,” he said softly.
“I know,” Selena responded, her face turning pink.
“Let’s get you a cab,” Nick offered.
She wanted to say no, to tell him to go to hell, but it was the best idea she’d heard all day.
“Do you live round here?” she asked, finally looking up into his face.
“Yeah, not far from here,” he said, with a smile. “Just around the corner. I could make you a coffee and call a cab?”
Bad idea, Selena. “I dunno.”
“I’m just calling you a cab. I swear. I get it. I’ve got a mountain of shit that comes with me and I’m not dragging you into it. But I can’t leave you out here, and we shouldn’t wait for the mini cab or Uber here.”
“Okay,” she said, against her better judgment.
They walked for five minutes down a busy street full of fast food joints and pawn shops. Selena made eye contact with a homeless man who nestled on cardboard in a doorway. She paused and rummaged in her purse for a crisp note. She leant down to give it to the man, who coughed and said, “Thank you ma’am. Have a nice evening.”
“You too,” she said gently, knowing ‘nice’ is not the kind of evening he would have. At least it will be a little bit nicer now that he had some money for food.
She reached down and pulled off her Valentino’s to walk the rest of the way barefooted. “What?” she asked, noticing Nick was laughing.
“You never cease to surprise me,” he responded. “You’re a rich kid with morals and bare feet on the streets of London. I’ve never met another like you.”
She slid a glance up at him. “You know, you’re not off the hook yet,” she said.
Nick’s expression stiffened. She could see it hurt.
“Is there anything you’re not telling me?” she asked, looking up into his sharp eyes, buried under a frown.
“Here’s my place,” he said all of a sudden. “You might want to put those shoes back on. People pee in the stairwell.”
“Ugh, really?” she said, screwing up her nose.
“Yeah, really. This isn’t the West End, darling.”
She followed him up the concrete steps to his front door and entered the flat. It was even smaller than Dee’s place. It was clean and there wasn’t much in the way of furniture, but she nodded in approval at the movie posters and the deep red velvet throw covering the old leather sofa. “You like Singing in the Rain?” she asked, pointing to a framed poster.
“Yeah,” he said, smiling and crossing his arms as he looked at the dancing characters in raincoats. “It reminds me of my grandpa. He used to tap dance and sing us the songs.”
Selena smiled. “Well, you have a very soft center under all those muscles, don’t you?”
He grinned at her, the kind of grin she had hoped she wouldn’t be seeing that night, alone with Nick. It was the kind of grin that melted her and reminded her of the sheer pleasure he was able to give her.
They turned to face each other. His grin straightened out as he put his hands on her arms and said, “Please believe me that I’m not chasing after any other women. I’m not interested. Not since Paris with you. You might not have any plans to start seeing me, and that’s okay, I’m not trying to corner you into a relationship. I just…miss you. Which I know is asinine since I barely know you. But I think about Paris. A lot. I actually like who I am with you. I couldn’t really say that before. I’m not the old me since that night. And believe me, my life would be a lot easier if I could just be that guy again, but I can’t. I’m not used to feeling this way. And there is something else you should know.”
“Nick, I’ve been down this road before. With a man who doesn’t really want me. And this situation is complicated.”
He took her hand. “I don’t know how many other ways to tell you. You are what I want. I know this is complicated, but we’ll figure it out. I just want to try. I told you about Chris. Just know that I’m trying to dig him out…again. And I’m almost clear.”
“Oh shit.” She placed a hand on his arm and gritted her teeth at the insta
nt zing of electricity. “How bad is it?”
He opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something. Then closed it and started again. But sill nothing. Finally he said. “There is so much shit I need to tell you. That girl in the office, she slipped me a note. She wanted to get my attention. I didn’t call her or shag her. I swear to you.” He hung his head. “And Soho House—”
Did she want to hear it? Did it matter? She’d come here with him because she wanted him. She wanted to be with him. Yes, she was insecure, and yes she could get hurt. But doing things the way she’d been doing them for five years wasn’t working for her anymore. She was tired of being a hermit-like nun. She reached her fingertips up to his lips. “Don’t. Does it matter? Whatever you’re going to tell me, is it something you can control?”
“No, but—“
“Stop. It doesn’t matter.” She reached up and pulled the band out of her hair, letting the stream of honey-coloured hair drop past her shoulders.
Nick licked his lips as his gaze flickered over her. “Selena. I don’t know how to do this.”
A smile tugged at her lips. “I’m pretty sure you do. You’ve shown me twice. But it’s okay. I’ll show you how it all works.”
He grinned but looked like he was still wavering. Then he whispered, “Sod it,” and reached for her.
Selena pulled his head down so his lips grazed hers lightly, and shivers ran down her spine.
He plunged his fingers into the waves of hair. “I fucking miss you,” he whispered as he buried his nose in her neck. Heat flooded her veins. She knew this was a bad idea, but she longed to taste his skin and feel him inside her. She couldn’t fight it.
Tentatively, she tugged at his top and slid her hands up, over tight abs and his toned chest. When he moaned low, she planted light kisses on his pecs. “I miss you,” she whispered.
“You have no fucking idea how much I’ve missed you.” He kissed her again, backing her into the room, toward the couch. Frantically, his fingers fumbled with the zipper on her wool dress, tugging it down, the zic-zic-zic sound filling the silence in the room.
When the fabric dropped to the floor, Nick wasted no time. His hands tracked over her body, like a blind man trying to remember a lover. When he cupped her breasts, Selena arched into the caress. He gently rolled his thumbs over her nipples and her knees gave out as electric currents coursed through her body, making her weak, needy.
He turned her slowly, kissing her neck. She heard the clink of his buckle and then the ruffling of clothes and she knew he’d shed his jeans. Her breath quickened as he reached his hand around her waist, teasing her ribs, before skimming lower to caress her belly. When he kept moving, pausing at the juncture of her thighs, she held her breath. She knew what he would find.
He’d find her wet, slick, needing him. Gently, he caressed her warm flesh through the silky fabric of her panties. She let out a moan and tipped her head forward, baring the nape of her neck to his lips. Nick made a low approving sound as he slid his fingers inside her silky fabric and searched for the honey. “You’re so Goddamn sexy,” he whispered in her ear as he stroked her, his warm breath tickling her skin.
With a flick of his free hand, he released her bra, letting her breasts spill free. When he clasped a hand over her breast, she grasped it, intertwining their fingers. Together, they teased her erect nipples, sending ripples of lust through her veins. They plucked, pinched, kneaded. All the while, his fingers gently probed her center, making her wetter. Making her want more. So much more.
When he slid another finger inside her, she cried out, her legs going weak again. “I can’t take it anymore,” Selena said, breathless, falling forward on to the couch. “Please, Nick.” She tossed her hair over her shoulder, looking back at him. “I need you.”
Nick cursed under his breath and hung his head. “Fuck. I meant to get more condoms…but then…you and I…we weren’t…”
Selena stared at him. “Oh, God…”
He kneeled beside her. “I’m so sorry. But don’t worry. I’ll make you feel good. You won’t even notice. Just tell me where it hurts and I’ll kiss it all better. I’ll kiss and kiss and kiss until you beg me to stop.”
“Nick I want you to make love to me.”
He looked down at his erection. “Trust me, he’s with you on this one.”
Despite the need spiking her blood she chuckled. “I’m his best mate after all.”
He grinned. “That you are.”
She licked her lips. “I’m on the pill.”
He rocked back on his heels. “Selena, Fuck, I want to but…”
“Nick, please, I need you inside me.“
His dark emerald gaze searched hers. “You’re sure?”
Selena nodded. “Yes. Please, I just—“
With a firm grip, he turned her so her head rested on the back of the couch. He bracketed her wrists in one hand while he used his knee to part her thighs. Then he gently sank in deep in one slide. Selena shuddered and moaned. “Oh God, yes.”
He cursed low. “You’re so Goddamned tight.”
He rocked into her, pulling back until just the tip of him remained, then he sank back home. “You feel so good,” Nick said, his head dropping to her neck, placing a soft kiss at her nape. “I’ve missed you.”
His voice was all she needed. She broke into a thousand tiny pieces, convulsing around him as the orgasm hit her hard. Nick’s climax followed just a moment after. As he grunted and shuddered, his hand sliding between her parted thighs to stroke her clit in tight circles until she was calling his name over and over again in a chant. “Nick, Nick, Nick. Oh, God, Nick.”
She threw her head back and came again, clamping tight around him. His groan of, “Jesus fuck,” was all that registered before her vision went grey and she collapsed.
Selena didn’t know how long she lay there in the cocoon of his arms. All she knew was they’d lain like that for a while, and then he’d reached for the velvet throw, wrapping it around the two of them, tucking the last bit around her as they lay on the sofa.
“Wow,” Selena whispered with a sigh, as Nick stroked her arm. She laid her head on his chest and could hear the pounding of his heart, still tapping away erratically. “I’ve never known it like this,” she said into his pecs.
“Me neither,” he replied softly, which sent a warm rush through her.
He had to do this. He cared about her. He’d never meant for this to happen but for once he wasn’t in a rush to push someone away. But he couldn’t lie to her. The old him might have been a prick, but he was an honest one.
“Selena? I really need to tell you something,” Nick said, his voice little more than a whisper, as he stroked her hair as they lay wrapped in each other. “You mean more to me than anyone ever has in my life. I need to tell you, but I need you to understand a few things first.”
There was silence.
“Selena? Sweetheart?” he asked into the silence.
She was sleeping comfortably in his arms, her fingers still entwined in his. Now was not the time. He held her warm body and savored each second before sleep eventually stole him away too.
37
“Everyone, meeting at noon, don’t be late,” Nancy bellowed.
Murmurs circled. “What could that be about?” Marnie wondered out loud. She turned to Nick. “Paris maybe? Hope it’s nothing bad.”
Nick shrugged even as his stomach turned. He’d left Selena’s bed not three hours earlier. And yeah okay, they’d made use of that empty office again this morning after her first meeting. Their loving had been hard and quick against a wall and he hadn’t even taken off her dress.
This shit was so risky. He told himself that every day, but ever since the night she’d come to his flat, they couldn’t keep their hands off of each other. He completely understood everything that was at risk with her image. And the little matter that you betrayed her. He swallowed hard. Since the night she’d seen his place, he’d tried to tell her twice more, but every time he was ar
ound her, it was like the sexual haze and fog took over his brain. Try harder. You don’t want to be who you used to be. Be the good guy.
Fuck, he was a twat who couldn’t help but think with this dick. Tonight. He was fucking telling her tonight. Maybe she would understand. Yeah, good luck with that.
At noon, they all piled into the boardroom and waited for Selena to show up. After a few moments of speculation, Selena opened the door and entered. She sat down at the head of the table, cleared her throat and smoothed her hair before saying anything. Nick shoved down the compulsive ache to muss her up.
“Hi, thanks for coming,” she began, her voice cool. “It has been brought to my attention by the board that Simon Day, my brother, has decided to launch a Parisian-themed line. They believe he has been fed some information by an inside source about our project. He knew various things about our trip and named a few members of the team. Things he shouldn’t know. Now, what matters in this room is trust. I need to know that everyone is working for the same goal. Okay? I’m not accusing anyone, I’m just letting it be known.” She kept her focus on the center of the table. “Luckily for us, he missed out on the fundamental points of what we are pushing forward, and what he is planning to launch can actually be used to compliment our Paris venture.” A small smirk twitched at the corner of her mouth. “I don’t see any point in calling a halt on his plans. Let his team do some work for a change. But let this be a warning. We do not get involved with that arm of the company, okay?”
Stunned staff members nodded in wide-eyed agreement. She gestured to the door, still not making eye contact with anyone, and they all took their cue to leave. Nick pushed past a few of his colleagues to exit the room without having to make eye contact with Selena. How could he look her in the eye after what he had done?
Back at his desk, he turned his phone over and over in the palm of his hand, staring into the distance. This had to stop. He’d done what was asked of him, surely that was enough. He began punching at the buttons rapidly with his thumb, typing, Job complete. I’m out. They’re onto you.
