Since You've Been Gone

by Samantha Chase

  He squeezed her hand again. “Someone will. I promise.”

  “Maybe. I don’t know. We have this event coming up, but…we’re rushing it, and I don’t think it’s going to be as successful as my mom needs it to be. I wish I knew more about social media marketing.” She let out a small laugh. “Or any kind of marketing. I’m terrible with that sort of thing. Scarlett’s been helping out with it a lot, but she does it as a volunteer and we hate asking more of her than she already does.”

  “Social media is definitely a big help, but…” He paused and shook his head. “I know it can be a good thing, but it’s sort of a blessing and a curse, you know?”

  “No, I…I don’t.”

  “Okay, here’s the thing–all those videos you’ve seen me do? They’ve done a lot of good for the shelters and the clinics. Adoption rates have skyrocketed.”

  She was ready to praise him for it when he dropped a bombshell.

  “But I hate doing them,” he said grimly.

  “I don’t understand. Why?”

  “Do you know why I’ve gotten so many job offers? It’s because of those videos. Do you know how many people take me seriously now? Not many.”

  “Oh, Garrett…I had no idea!”

  He nodded. “My brothers make fun of me all the time. They call me “Hot Doc” or “Sexy Vet,” and I know they’re just teasing, but they’re not the only ones calling me that.” He shook his head again. “At first, it was fun and I liked the attention, but now it just feels wrong and I have no idea if people are offering me jobs because I’m good at what I do as a veterinarian or if it’s because I look good with my shirt off.”

  Do not comment on that…

  Unsure of what to do, she was the one to squeeze his hand. “I can’t even imagine what that must feel like. But you have to believe that people want to hire you because you’re a good doctor. There’s no way they’d offer you a job because of some videos. That would be crazy!”

  “I don’t know, I thought so too. At first. Once they started going viral, it was like I was getting dozens of offers a week! The ones I have it narrowed down to now seem legit, but what if as soon as I’m there, they want me to start doing videos? No one’s ever going to take me seriously if I keep doing them.”

  It was at that moment that Emma knew she was never going to ask him for his help.

  At least not in that capacity.

  Clearly it was a good thing that she was such a chicken about bringing it up sooner because that would have lumped her in with all the other people Garrett felt betrayed by.

  “O-kay…so…maybe you have to make that clear from the get-go. When you show up at these places over the next few weeks, you tell them that before you even see your first pet–no videos. If they don’t have a problem with it, then you know you can trust them, but if they push back even a little bit, then you know it’s not the right place for you.”

  That seemed to make him relax because he let out a long breath and smiled at her. “Thanks, Emmaline. I needed that.”

  It felt like her cheeks were on fire and she was thankful it was a little dim in the car. “You realize you’re still the only person who calls me by my full name, right?”

  His smile grew as he glanced at her. “Good. I like knowing I’m the only one. It’s a beautiful name for a beautiful girl.”

  Oh, my…

  Gently, Emma cleared her throat. “So, um…dinner? We should almost be there. I wonder if the menu is still the same!” Her words all sort of blurred together, but thankfully Garrett didn’t comment on it.

  “I checked it out online when I went home to change and it looks mostly the same, but there were definitely some new items on there too. If I remember correctly, you love shellfish–especially shrimp and lobster–but you’re not a fan of anything with scales or tentacles.”

  She was pretty sure her jaw was currently in her lap because that was the most accurate description of her feelings on fish that she’d ever heard.

  “I can’t believe you remembered that,” she whispered.

  “We’ve known each other a long time,” he reminded her. “And we spent countless hours with it being just the two of us.” He gave her hand one more squeeze. “I remember everything.”

  For some reason, Emma wasn’t sure whether to be comforted by his admission or a little scared.

  Okay, maybe not scared, per se, but she was suddenly racking her brain for anything stupid she may have said or done in front of him in the last eighteen or so years.

  “Doesn’t look too crowded,” Garrett said, effectively interrupting her thoughts. She looked up and saw they were pulling up to the restaurant, and that was when he finally released her hand.

  And she missed the contact already.

  Oh, girl…you are in trouble if a bit of handholding is getting to you like this.

  It was only normal, she reminded herself. It had been three years since her divorce and she hadn’t dated since.

  And it had been almost a year before the divorce since she had a man show her any kindness or tenderness.

  Or any skin-on-skin contact.

  Yeah…I’m in big trouble.

  Once they were parked, Garrett got out of the car, and before Emma even unbuckled herself, he was opening the door for her with the sweetest look on his face.

  Great, he’s a gentleman too…

  And when he held out his hand to her and she rested hers in it?

  She seriously began to wonder how much of this was Garrett just being a genuinely nice guy and how much of it was her simply being starved for affection.

  Dinner was fantastic–the food was delicious, the service was excellent, and the atmosphere was great. There hadn’t been a lull in the conversation, but he could tell that something was bothering Emma, and as they pulled back up to her condo, he argued with himself about whether or not he should say something.

  “Thank you so much for dinner, Garrett,” she said softly when they were at her front door. “Again.”

  “It was my pleasure.” They stood there for a moment, and he wondered if she would invite him in, but again, he didn’t want to push.

  “Um…” Turning from him, she unlocked the door and opened it. When she turned, she gave him a shy smile. “I had a really good time tonight. This was a treat for me. It’s been a long time since I’ve gone out for such a nice meal, so…thank you.”

  “You’re very welcome.” He glanced over her shoulder into her home, and when he saw her stiffen, he knew he had his answer. Leaning in, he placed a soft kiss on her cheek and desperately tried not to linger. When he straightened, he smiled down at her. “I’m not heading home until Monday. Do you think it would alright if I stopped back at the barn on Sunday?”

  She nodded. “Uh…yeah. That…that should b…be fine.”

  “Will you be there?”

  Another nod. “I try to go every Sunday to help out where I can, so…”

  “Then I’ll see you then.” And as he took a step back, he fought the urge to lean in and kiss her again.

  Even if it was only on the cheek.

  A small wave was her only response when he said goodnight, and as Garrett dragged himself back to his car, he realized how wrong he’d been to stay away for so long. Emma didn’t go inside until he pulled away, and the sight of her standing all alone by the front door was going to haunt him.

  Hell, just the sight of her, in general, was going to haunt him.

  She was still the same beautiful girl he’d always known, but there was a sadness there now that had never been there before that just about gutted him. Emmaline was a shadow of her former self that just wasn’t acceptable to him.

  But he had no idea what to do about it.

  It wasn’t particularly late, but late enough that he didn’t want to call Ed and talk to him or even call Austin. When he’d left his mother’s earlier, she mentioned that she and Dominic were going out and he had no idea if she’d be home when he got there.

  And was it wrong that h
e hoped she was?

  Relief washed over him a few minutes later when he pulled up to her house and saw the lights on and both her and Dom’s cars were there. Garrett wasn’t opposed to talking to both of them about his night and about the situation with Emma. Maybe he’d leave out his long-buried feelings, but he was open to getting advice anywhere he could get it.

  “Garrett! You’re home early!” his mother said as he walked in the door. She was smiling and didn’t seem the least bit put out by his appearance, so he took it as a good sign. But then again, that was the way his mom was. Grace Coleman was always happy to see her kids–no matter how bratty they were or how long they’d stayed away.

  “Hey, Mom. Hey, Dom,” he said as he walked farther into the room. They were sitting on the couch watching TV. “What are we watching?” He sat down on the big oversized chair opposite them.

  “It’s a documentary on The Bee Gees. So much talent in that family and yet so much sadness,” she explained before picking up the remote and pausing it. “How was your night?”

  Here was his opening…

  Leaning forward, he braced his elbows on his knees, clasped his hands, and let out a long breath. “Okay, so…Emmaline…”

  “Should I be here for this?” Dominic asked, glancing between mother and son. “Because if you’d rather talk to your mom alone, Garrett, that’s okay.”

  Grace laughed and hugged him before looking at Garrett. “Don’t mind him. He’s not a fan of talking about relationship stuff with his kids, even though they all swear he’s one of the main reasons they’re all happily married now.” She smiled at Dom and kissed him on the cheek. “You’re a good man and I believe you’ll have some important insight into this situation. Remember I was telling you about it yesterday.”

  “Wait,” Garrett interrupted. “You’ve already talked about this? How? Why? I mean…”

  She shifted slightly to face him. “Sweetheart, you’ve had a crush on that girl since the third grade. I never understood why you never asked her out.”

  Groaning, his head fell into his hands. “Because we were friends, Mom. Emma’s been one of my best friends and I never wanted to do anything to mess that up.”

  “Plus, she was your tutor for a while so that could have gotten messy,” Grace commented.

  “And then she started dating that weasel Steve,” Dom chimed in, and Garrett looked up at him in shock. “What? That’s what your mother called him.”

  “Mom, seriously?”

  “Oh, please. Steve March was a jerk. You said it enough times back when you were in school, and his mother was a bully too. We worked on a few PTA projects together and I never liked her.” Pausing, she shook her head. “I only saw Emma a few times after she got married and she never looked happy. Honestly, I was relieved when I heard she was getting divorced.”

  “Do you see her around town much?” he asked.

  “Not really, but…her sisters and brother all come to my office to see Dr. Phillips. Christine and I talk a little bit when she’s there, but it’s really just small talk. It’s not like Emma has a need to go to the pediatrician.”

  He nodded.

  “If I may say something,” Dominic said hesitantly–even raising his hand. “What are you hoping to gain here?”

  Straightening, Garrett asked, “What do you mean?”

  “Well, it seems to me that you’re leaving here on Monday and heading back to Norfolk. And then after that, you’re going to be traveling around before you ultimately decide to take the position with the clinic up in Delaware. I get that Emma’s a good friend and you have feelings for her, but…I’m guessing she already has some self-esteem or abandonment issues. Why start up something with her if you’re not going to be here?”

  For a minute, Garrett could only stare. “Um…”

  “I hate to say it, honey, but Dominic’s got a point. I get it if you’re approaching this as a concerned friend who just wants to see Emma be happy. But I have a feeling that’s not your only motivation here.”

  Dammit, they were right. What was he thinking? And why was he trying so damn hard? Didn’t he have enough on his plate right now with finding a job and moving and finding a place to live? Did he really want to take on some kind of relationship with Emma–any kind of relationship with Emma–when he wasn’t going to be around after Monday?

  “You’re right,” he said gruffly, staring down at his hands. “I guess…I guess I just got caught up in things after I saw her. The last thing she needs is someone else letting her down.”

  Before he knew it, his mother was sitting on the arm of his chair and hugging him. “I think it’s incredibly sweet that you care about her, but…”

  “I know, I know,” he murmured. “It’s too late. I missed my chance.” And it hurt to admit it out loud.

  “I wouldn’t say you missed your chance,” Dom said. “Years ago? Sure. But just because things aren’t falling into place right now doesn’t mean they won’t down the line.”

  “No, I think he’s right,” Grace replied. “How long is he supposed to pine for this girl without anything happening? What if he meets the woman who’s meant to be his wife and he blows her off because he’s too busy fixating on a relationship that’s never going to go anywhere? How long is he supposed to wait?”

  “Um…”

  Before either he or Dominic could respond, his mother had his face in her hands and a fierce expression on her face. “Listen to me, Garrett, and I say this with love. Do not throw your life away on a relationship that’s never going to be. Learn from my mistakes. You cannot make someone change, and you can’t take it upon yourself to decide what their life should look like. You haven’t talked to Emmaline in years, and then you come back and suddenly envision all the ways you think she needs to be living her life. That’s not fair to her and it’s not fair to you.”

  Beside them, Dominic stood before walking over and kissing Grace on the cheek. “I’m gonna go,” he said solemnly. “Call me tomorrow if you have time after you go over and help Austin and Mia.” Reaching out, he shook Garrett’s hand. “Good to see you, Garrett.”

  “You’re leaving?” Grace asked.

  “I think it’s best.”

  “Why?”

  “Grace…”

  She shot a worried look at Garrett and now he had no idea what he was supposed to do. Leave? Go to his room?

  “Mom,” he said quietly as he stood. “Talk to Dominic. I’ll just…be in my room.”

  And yeah, it sounded utterly ridiculous for a grown man to be making that statement, and yet here he was. With a slight nod to Dominic, he walked out of the room and kept going until he was back in his childhood bedroom and closing the door.

  “Good job, genius. You ruined their date night and made a mess out of your relationship with Emmaline. Brilliant.” With a loud sigh, he kicked off his shoes before stripping down to his boxers and pulling out a pair of athletic shorts to sleep in. There wasn’t much he could do to pass the time, but he wasn’t quite ready to call it a night. “Maybe I’ll read or watch TV,” he murmured and almost immediately opted for the television. If he picked up his phone to read, he’d be tempted to go on social media, and it still gave him a bit of anxiety.

  Another sigh was out before he could stop it because it seemed crazy to refer to how he felt as anxiety, and yet…it was the only way he could describe it. All the attention he had gotten in the beginning was fantastic. He’d actually enjoyed it and felt really good about himself. But then things changed and it stopped being fun. Women groped him when he went out and they recognized him. His friends made all kinds of snarky comments and laughed at him. Hell, his own brothers called him names too.

  He was a grown man and should be more than capable of ignoring all of them, but…it became apparent that no one was seeing him for who he was. No one looked at the applications of Garrett Coleman, veterinarian; they only saw Garrett Coleman, social media sensation who never wore a shirt.

  And yeah, there was definitely
a time at the beginning where that got him a lot of female attention and he found himself dating a different woman almost every night of the week. It was fun and he wasn’t going to try to say it was a bad thing, but…it was shallow, and he was at a point in his life where he wanted to be done with that kind of relationship.

  Okay, maybe that last part didn’t come to him immediately, but it had certainly been on his mind a lot more lately.

  Add Emma into the equation and it confused the hell out of him.

  So now what?

  In the distance, he heard the front door close and felt really bad about ruining his mother’s date night. After not dating for so many years, she deserved to be happy.

  This is why you shouldn’t move home…

  There was a soft knock on his bedroom door and he called out, “Come in.”

  “Hey. You okay?” she asked as she stepped into the room.

  Garrett sat up on the bed and laughed softly. “That was going to be my line.” His shoulders sagged. “Seriously, Mom, are you okay?”

  Shrugging, she sat down beside him. “Dominic doesn’t like it when I bring up your father like that. Even without naming him.”

  “I guess I understand it, but…we can’t pretend that we aren’t who we are because Cash Coleman walked out on us all those years ago.”

  “He’s not asking me to pretend your father didn’t exist, but he doesn’t like it when I try to take the blame or put myself down for it.” She paused. “I blame myself for not seeing your father for who he was before he left, but we were in love–or at least, I was–and there was nothing there to make me suspect that he’d walk away from his wife and three sons.”

  It wasn’t something they liked to talk about–and certainly never one-on-one like this–but maybe it was time.

  “Obviously, I was too young to really understand anything that was going on,” he said quietly. “One day he was here, and the next, he was gone, but we kept waiting for him to come back, you know?”