Since You've Been Gone

by Samantha Chase

  “No, not here at Happy Tails, but…okay, yeah…here at Happy Tails, if you’re so worried about a job. Not that we don’t appreciate everything you’re doing, but maybe this isn’t the best use of your time.”

  “If anything, it’s given me time to think,” Garrett told him.

  “About what?”

  “Yeah, Garrett, about what?” Emma said from the doorway, and she did not look the least bit happy.

  “Hey,” he said softly, walking over and kissing her on the cheek. “I was getting worried about you. I thought you were supposed to be here like an hour ago.”

  “I went shopping to make us a nice dinner.”

  Her words should have made him feel good, but her tone told him something was up. “Really? That’s great! What are we having?”

  “Nothing,” she stated, crossing her arms over her chest. “I didn’t get anything.”

  “Um…”

  “Hey, Em!” Ed called out. “If you’d like some privacy, I set up the office across the hall.”

  With a curt nod, she turned and walked out, and Garrett had no choice but to follow her. Once they were inside, he quietly closed the door. “What’s going on?”

  “That’s what I’d like to know,” she said as she turned to face him.

  He took a cautious step toward her. “Okay, I think I’m missing something here. Did I do something wrong?”

  “I guess it depends on your definition of wrong.”

  “Emmaline…”

  “Your father offered you his inheritance to buy a practice–which is huge, by the way–and you don’t mention it to me?” she asked, her voice rising with each word.

  “Okay, yeah, but…”

  “Then I just hear you pouring out your heart about how all these job offers are bogus and people just using you, and you didn’t think to share that with me either?”

  “I told you about that in the beginning,” he countered.

  “But it’s still happening and it’s been all the offers! Why? Why wouldn’t you talk to me about this? Why keep it to yourself?”

  He began to pace because…well…he knew this was going to happen. Eventually she was going to find out, but he hadn’t wanted it to be like this.

  “Who told you about the inheritance?”

  Her eyes went wide. “It should have been you.”

  Nodding, he told himself he was focusing on the wrong thing.

  “What is going on, Garrett? It sounds like this could be the perfect solution for you! You can start your own practice anywhere you want to and do it on your terms! No one asking you to take silly pictures or videos! You’d be doing it on your own merit!”

  “It’s not that easy!” he shouted, surprising them both. He never lost his temper and the thought of doing that with her didn’t sit well.

  And yet…

  “I have no idea if Cash is going to make good on his offer! And even if he did, I have no idea how long it will take!” He growled with frustration and paced like he did over with Ed and Doc MacEntyre. “I don’t have time to sit around and wait, Emma! Don’t you get it? A few months ago, I felt like I had the world in the palms of my hands! I had more job offers than anyone in my graduating class! And call it ego, but it felt pretty freaking awesome to finally be the guy that everyone envied. Now, all those same people who envied me have jobs and I don’t!”

  “But you could…”

  “No! That’s not the way I want it. I don’t want to be the spokesperson that no one takes seriously. Becoming a vet was everything to me because I love helping animals. All everyone seems to want me for now is posing for the camera. You know what kind of message that sends? That I’m not good enough to actually care for animals.”

  “You know that’s not true, Garrett. Anyone who knows you…”

  “That’s just it, Em, no one wants to know me! Not the real me! They want the shirtless guy in the videos who cuddles puppies!”

  She stared at him for a minute. “What is it you think is going to happen, Garrett? You may not like how it happened, but the truth is that you did help a lot of animals. No one’s saying you’re not a good vet.” She paused and seemed to consider her words. “You own a mirror. You have to realize that you’re a good-looking man. Women will ogle you and want to have you smile and flirt with them no matter what. The fact that you also help puppies is like crack! Why not embrace this and make a difference?”

  “Because I don’t want to be a joke, Em,” he admitted gruffly.

  “You’re not a joke,” she argued lightly. “That’s just how you’re taking it.”

  “No, it’s not. People are making fun.”

  “People make fun of everything!” she shouted with frustration. “It doesn’t matter what other people think! You’re the one who used to tell me that back when I had a stutter! You used to say, ‘Who cares what they think?’ and that I should ignore them!”

  “But my brothers…”

  “Brothers tease one another, Garrett! It goes with the territory! Are you saying you’ve never teased them for anything?”

  He supposed that was true…

  “I’m floundering here,” he said after a moment. “I don’t know where to go or what to do because none of this is working out the way I planned. None of it. I had it all worked out and now…my confidence is gone. Even if I go back and accept any of those offers, sure, the head vet or partners might think I’m great, but you don’t think the rest of the staff is going to be offended that I got the job based on social media exposure?”

  She took a step toward him. “There are always going to be co-workers who are petty and jealous. If you’re looking for the perfect work environment, Garrett, you’re going to be very disappointed. It doesn’t exist. Every job, every company has issues. It’s human nature. Instead of focusing on all that could go wrong, why not focus on everything that could go right? If you could open your own clinic…”

  “Please,” he said with disgust. “I can’t possibly believe that’s going to happen. And even if it did…”

  Now they were practically toe to toe. “Even if it did, you’re scared that it still wouldn’t work because you don’t believe in yourself.” She sighed. “I know what that’s like, and I wish I could say it’s easy to overcome, but it’s not. You’re never going to believe that you can succeed because you keep focusing on things that don’t matter.” She let out another sigh. “And by doing that, you’re missing out on some amazing things–jobs, relationships…all of it. You’re not just hurting yourself in the process, you’re potentially hurting others.”

  He hung his head. “I should have told you years ago how I felt.” His throat felt raw as he spoke the words, and he couldn’t even look at her. “If I had, you never would have married Steven and had to suffer through a bad marriage.”

  “Wow,” she murmured and stepped away from him. For a moment, he was confused about whether that was a good wow or a bad one, but once he saw the look on her face, he knew.

  Bad.

  “You are not responsible for the decisions I’ve made,” she snapped. “We were kids back then, Garrett. Kids! We were friends, and I never thought you felt anything romantic toward me, and I would have been too scared to risk our friendship! Was Steven a bad decision? Yes! Do I regret it? Yes! But that’s not to say you and I would have become anything either!” With a huff, she added, “You’re not responsible for my bad marriage. I am! I should have seen the warning signs and believed in myself enough to walk away.”

  He swallowed hard and stared at her.

  “All these job offers…you saw the warning signs and you walked away. You should be proud of it. Own it. Only you can know what’s right for you. But this opportunity from your father? You not only have to decide to have faith in him but to have faith in yourself too.”

  Dammit, she was right. But man, was that asking a lot of faith. If he had to choose one or the other, it would be one thing, but…it was terrifying.

  “You know why I think it was so easy for
you to walk away from those offers?” she asked.

  “Why?”

  “Because you don’t have that faith in yourself and I honestly don’t know why.” She let out one last sigh. “But what I do know is that it’s something you have to work through on your own.”

  He didn’t like the sound of that.

  “It hurt me, Garrett, that you’ve been struggling with all this and you never talked to me about it.”

  “I didn’t want to bog you down with my bullshit, Em. You have enough on your plate without me adding to it.”

  “You know what? I do have a lot on my plate, but I would have gladly made room for you, too. That’s what friends do! That’s what people in a relationship do!”

  He saw tears in her eyes and it was killing him. “Emma…”

  “You liked protecting me when we were kids and I liked letting you. But you know what happened? There was a time when you weren't there to protect me and I had to learn to protect myself. I'm not perfect at it, but I'm not a failure either. I don't need you protecting me from things that you think I can't handle.”

  “Yeah, but…”

  “You’re still trying to protect me now and I can’t have that. Not like this. It’s not fair and it’s not right. If we’re in a relationship, then we’re in it together–the good and the bad.”

  “Okay, I get that now. Just give me…”

  But she was shaking her head. “No. Now I need a little time to myself because I have some thinking to do, and God knows you do as well. We went from being best friends to being strangers to being lovers. It went from one extreme to the other and it’s all…it’s just too fast.”

  “Emma, I don’t want it to end like this,” he begged. “I screwed up. I should have talked to you. I get it now. This is all new to me, too. I don’t want to leave and never see you again.”

  She rolled her eyes. “Does everything have to be an extreme with you? I’m talking about maybe spending a couple of days where we’re not in each other’s pockets, and you’re breaking us up!” With a look of disgust, she headed for the door. “I think you should either go home or go to your mom or Austin’s tonight because…just because.”

  And then she was gone and Garrett didn’t even know if he wanted to go after her because he was ashamed.

  He’d just ruined the one relationship that meant the world to him, all because he thought he was protecting her from all the negative stuff going on in his.

  “Idiot,” he murmured. It was no different from the night they’d first made love. Emma needed to feel in charge–to feel sexy and wanted–and he’d almost taken that away from her because he was afraid he was rushing her. Now he’d gone and done the same thing by not letting her decide for herself if she could handle things.

  Raking a hand through his hair, Austin sat down in Ed’s chair and wondered how a guy who was smart enough to graduate from veterinary school with honors was so damn clueless.

  12

  The weekend had been miserable.

  She didn’t go to Austin and Mia’s for dinner, and she didn’t see or talk to Garrett at all. He’d come over to get his things, but he had a key to her place and managed to do it while she wasn’t home.

  And she couldn’t even be mad about it.

  If anything, she was glad he did it that way.

  Ed had his surgery on Monday and everything had gone well. Now here it was on Wednesday and he was home. The last few days were hectic for all of them, but Emma knew her mother would be able to relax a bit more now that he was out of the hospital.

  It was amazing how he was up and walking around–slowly–but still up and moving. He couldn’t do much, but just seeing him moving around the house seemed to do wonders for everyone’s spirits.

  “Em, I’ve got a call with Georgia Bishop that I need to take. Can you bring Ed his tea? I shouldn’t be more than fifteen minutes.”

  “Sure, Mom. No problem.” Walking into the kitchen, she grabbed the steaming mug of tea and went into the living room where she found Ed sitting in his favorite chair and reading. “Somebody order some tea?”

  He smiled up at her as he carefully put his book down and reached for the mug. “Thanks, Em.” After taking a sip, he motioned for her to sit on the sofa. “So, how are you doing?”

  “Me?” she asked with a small laugh. “You know me–same old, same old. How are you feeling?”

  With a patient smile, he studied her until she started to squirm. “I think we all know how I am. I’m going to be like this for a while and we’re all expecting it. I’m more concerned about you.”

  It was pointless to pretend she didn’t know why he was asking. He had been relatively close by when she and Garrett fought on Friday, so…

  With a sigh, she got comfortable on the sofa. “It sucks, Ed. Like…a lot. Garrett was always different, the one guy I could always count on and trust.”

  “I’ll try not to take offense to that,” he murmured before taking another sip of tea.

  “You know what I mean.” Her head leaned back against the cushions. “He keeps everything to himself and it’s not right. It’s like he doesn’t trust me or he thinks I’m too weak or stupid to handle anything.”

  “I’m pretty sure that’s not what he thinks…”

  “But we don’t know, do we?” she said flatly. When she straightened, she tucked her feet under her. “I don’t only want to be there for the good times or the happy times. I believe when you’re with someone you care about that you share each other’s burdens. I’m a big girl. A grown woman. I’ve lived through a crappy marriage and an even crappier divorce. I’m not the same person I was the last time he truly knew me. A lot’s changed since he’s been gone.”

  “That’s fair, Em, but he doesn’t know that, and it’s only been a few weeks.”

  “Yeah, I get that, but so many things were going on and it’s like he shared just a small fraction of it with me. And you know what, it was brutal. Seeing his father again was devastating for him and we talked it through and I thought that was it. Then I find out there’s so much more! I mean, why only share part of it? And the stuff he was keeping to himself was actually good news! If he gets the inheritance, then he can say ‘screw you’ to all those practices that just wanted him because he’s hot!”

  Ed snickered behind his mug.

  “You know what I’m saying,” she whined. “I’ve already been in a relationship with a man who thought I was an idiot. I’m not looking to go there again.”

  “But…”

  “I know, I know! Garrett’s different and it’s not like he really thinks that of me, but…that’s how it makes me feel.”

  They sat in silence for a few minutes while Ed drank more of his tea. When he finally put the mug down, he glanced at her. “May I make a suggestion?”

  Emma shrugged.

  “Instead of making this about you–which you totally are–why not think about all the ways Garrett is hurting and struggling?”

  “I…”

  “Look at this from his perspective–he’s had a thing for you for years and he finally gets the chance to be with you. But all around him, his life is basically unraveling. He’s struggling with insecurity and betrayal and the emotional roller coaster of having his father come back. And rather than being a safe haven for him, you pushed him away.” He shifted awkwardly in his chair and grimaced in pain. “I understand why you were upset, but…I believe you could have handled things better.”

  She hated that he was right.

  “Oh, God. I was a total bitch,” she groaned, hiding her face in her hands.

  “I didn’t want to be the one to say it.”

  Peeking at him over her hand, she glared. Fortunately, Ed was probably the only person who could have said all this to her without her taking offense. He was good like that. As far as stepfathers went, he was the best. Ryleigh, Madison, and Wyatt were lucky to have him as a father. He was wise and caring, and he had a gift for knowing exactly what to say to get you to see the error
of your ways.

  After allowing herself a minute to be dramatic, she looked at him. “Okay, how do I fix this?”

  “Call him. Invite him over to talk. Or you can just go over to Austin’s and see him.”

  Frowning, she asked, “Wait, how do you know he’s at Austin’s?”

  “Because I’ve talked to him every day. He’s called, he came to the hospital…you know, because he’s a good guy.”

  “Ed…”

  He smiled sweetly at her. “Go. Go over there now. I know he’d really like to see you.”

  “I want to. I really do.”

  “But…?”

  “But I promised Mom I’d help with dinner, and Ryleigh mentioned needing help with her biology homework.”

  Holding up one finger, he gingerly reached over to the table beside him and picked up his phone. She watched as he typed something and when he was done, he simply sat there looking thoroughly at peace.

  The sound of a stampede coming toward them had her spinning in her seat.

  “What’s going on?”

  “Are you okay?”

  “Are you in pain? Do you need your meds?”

  All the questions came out at once from all three of her siblings, and it was incredibly sweet how much they worried about their father.

  “Here’s the deal, kiddos,” he began softly. “Mom’s on the phone dealing with some important stuff for Happy Tails, and Emma has someplace that she really needs to be, so here’s what’s going to happen. Wyatt, you’re going to go out and make sure the dogs are all fed. Ryleigh, you’re going to bring your biology homework down here and we’ll work through it together. Maddie, you’re going to go and help Wyatt with the dogs and make sure they all get a good run around before it gets dark.” He looked very pleased with himself. “And if all that gets done, I’ll order pizza for dinner. How does that sound?”

  No one answered because they all took off running.

  She looked over at Ed. “Wow. That was impressive.”

  “They’re highly motivated by pizza, so…” He shrugged. “Go and tell Garrett I said hello and I look forward to beating him at chess tomorrow.”