Drive

by Brenda Rothert

  I bent slightly and spit on her tight, open hole that was begging to be teased. When I rubbed my fingertip around the slickness, Sadie buried her face in a pillow, muffling her loud moans of pleasure. I eased a finger all the way in, still fucking her, and she screamed into the pillow and pushed her ass back toward my hips. Damn, this woman was sexy.

  When I fell into a rhythm, I couldn’t help groaning as my skin slapped against hers. Today I was having the bet sex of my life, because it was more than physical. I slowed, just playing with her for a while. When I started pounding her again, she screamed into the pillow, clutching the sides of it with her fists. Sex with her was addictive. Pleasuring her was the most erotic high I’d ever experienced.

  I pulled her hair back with my free hand, and she pushed up on her hands to press her back to my chest. As soon as my thumb pressed against her clit, she came apart again, moaning and reaching back to fist my hair. She was panting when I covered her mouth with mine. I couldn’t kiss her because my mouth was open in a final, guttural grunt as I came inside her.

  When I slid out and collapsed on my back, I realized I was lost to this woman. I wanted her to be mine like nothing else, but there was no doubt about the fact that I was already hers.

  Chapter 12

  Sadie

  I pushed the seasoned potatoes around my plate with my fork. I was too stuffed to eat another bite.

  “You like it?” Mary, the owner of the small Irish tavern I was eating at, arched her brows with anticipation.

  “I loved it. It was wonderful. But I can’t have the dessert you offered. I’m so full.”

  She narrowed her eyes, studying me. Did she think I was lying? I’d already eaten enough for two people.

  “You know, I could take it with me,” I said. She broke out in a grin and took off for the kitchen.

  I’d be going back to my hotel as soon as she returned and I paid my check. I was wiped out from a full day of sightseeing and eating. Halfway through my trip, my story was coming together even better than I expected. The towns I’d visited were home to eateries with friendly locals who all had interesting life stories.

  Occasionally, I had trouble understanding someone with a thick accent. But they were nice about it, and usually someone could interpret for us.

  This was the trip of a lifetime, but I kept regretting that I was here alone. Even though I was working, it would’ve been nice to have someone to share all these amazing meals with. Someone tall, dark and sexy.

  I glanced at my phone, trying to remember the time difference. But I decided it didn’t matter. If Niko was asleep, he’d respond when he woke up.

  Me: Miss u

  I sent it and then shook my head with disgust. Who was I? I’d gone from being a super independent woman to sitting in a dark pub daydreaming about a man half a world away.

  I grabbed the dessert box Mary passed me and set some bills on the bar, thanking her. My phone buzzed with an incoming text. When I grabbed it, already smiling, my heart dropped when I saw it was just Miranda asking me to call her. I pushed the button to call her as I walked through the heavy wood door of the pub.

  “Hey, boss,” I said when she answered.

  “Hey, how’s Ireland?”

  “It’s great. The only thing better than writing for a living is eating and then writing about it.”

  “I’m calling about something that can’t wait til you get back. I got a call from my college roommate, Katherine LaSalle. She’s—”

  “I know who she is,” I cut in. “She’s the managing editor of one of the largest newspapers in New York.”

  “Right. And she’s looking for a new staff columnist. She had one retire unexpectedly. I really hate to lose you, Sadie, but I gave her my highest recommendation of you. After she read some of your work, she called back and said she wants to talk to you as soon as possible.”

  I paused in the middle of the mud puddle I’d just accidentally walked into. “Me?”

  “Yes, you. You’re very talented. She wanted someone who’s young but has an experienced voice. That’s a rare find, but you’re exactly what she wants. You’d be on staff there – with benefits I know you don’t have right now.”

  “Miranda.” My feet started to feel the cold water seeping through my socks, and I stepped out of the puddle. “I don’t know what to say. I’m just floored that you think so highly of me. Thank you.”

  “You deserve it. I told Kat you’re on an assignment, and she wants to know if you can be in New York January fifth for an interview.”

  “No. I leave here on the sixth.”

  “Can you fly into New York instead of home? Meet her on the sixth or seventh?”

  I considered. This was an opportunity I’d never even dreamed of. I should’ve been jumping all over it. But something was stopping me. Or was it someone? More than one someone, actually. Niko, Dell and Kyler were all in Chicago.

  “Sadie?” Miranda’s sharp tone brought me back to reality. “Can you do that?”

  “Sure. Yes. I’ll email you my itinerary when I change it. Thanks, Miranda.”

  “Absolutely. And you have my permission to jump in the sack with any kilted highlanders you meet over there. Screw 60 Days Single.”

  I laughed weakly. Little did she know I’d already ditched out on the columns I begged her to let me do.

  “Listen, Kat’s very no-nonsense. Just be yourself and dress very conservatively. She hates women with cleavage in the workplace.”

  “Got it.”

  We said goodbye and I turned toward the street my hotel was on. Maybe this was the reality-check I needed. Like it or not, I was alone in this world. And I’d done pretty damn well for myself. I’d worked hard for an opportunity like the New York job. As much as I wished Dell and Kyler were my family, they weren’t. They had Luke now, and Dell no longer needed me to be her backup with Kyler. And Niko … I loved what was starting between us, but was it enough to keep me from considering this job?

  No. It was me against the world, and I had to take a shot. He of all people would understand. His career was the most important thing in his life.

  It was highly possible I wouldn’t even get the job. But I wasn’t the kind of woman who would turn down an interview because of the man I’d just started seeing. Even if that man was everything I’d ever wanted and more.

  ***

  Niko

  I stood and stretched, restless from sitting in the small, hard waiting room chairs at the airport. We’d be boarding the plane soon, and I wouldn’t be able to text Sadie for a while. That was reason enough for me to text her right now.

  Me: Miss u bad. Home game on the sixth. Can u come and stay the night with me after?

  I was expecting a return text, but instead her smiling face appeared on my phone screen.

  “Hey, Kitten,” I said, glancing from side to side. I didn’t need teammates giving me shit about being sentimental with my woman.

  “Hi.”

  “It’s so damn good to hear your voice. You get my message about the sixth? Does your flight land early enough for that to work?”

  “Um, I won’t be home until the evening of the seventh now.”

  “Shit. I’ll be on a road trip then.”

  “We can see each other as soon as you get home,” she said. “I miss you, too.”

  We got the call to board the plane and I followed behind the group, careful to stay out of Luke’s earshot.

  “You must be having a good time if you’re staying an extra day,” I said. “Can’t wait to hear about the trip.”

  There was a pause before she spoke again. “I’m actually still leaving on the sixth, but I have to make a stop in New York.”

  “Work thing?”

  “Pretty much. It’s actually a job interview. I wasn’t looking for one, but this sort of fell in my lap.”

  I stopped walking, a daze settling over me. “A job interview? For a job in New York?”

  “Yeah. My editor recommended me for a columnist position
at a newspaper there.”

  “But … wow.” The team had disappeared around a corner and I needed to catch up, but I couldn’t think about that right now. The only thought ringing in my mind was that Sadie might be moving to New York.

  “I need to take a shot at it,” she said, sounding miserable. “The job has benefits and more stability than what I have now.”

  I scrubbed a hand down my face. “Sadie, I don’t know what to say. This is really shitty timing. At least tell me you’re a long shot to get it or something.”

  “I think my chances are pretty good.”

  “Fuck.” I shook my head. “Okay.”

  “Please don’t be mad at me over this.”

  “I’m not mad, I’m just really fucking disappointed. Did a thought of me even cross your mind before you said yes?”

  “Niko … that’s not fair. Of course I thought about you. But you could get traded anytime, and then you’d be the one moving. I wouldn’t blame you for that.”

  “Yeah, but the difference is I have no control over that.” Now anger was rising inside me. I’d finally discovered what all my married friends meant when they talked about finding ‘the one’ and now she was leaving.

  “You don’t have to worry about the same things I do,” she said, her tone defensive. “I have college loans and no savings.”

  “If you need money—”

  “I do, but I need to be the one earning it. I’m not taking your money just because we’ve been … whatever, I don’t know what it’s called.”

  “I thought it was called a relationship.”

  “Is it? I think it’s called fucking when none of our friends or family know about it.”

  One of my assistant coaches came around a corner and gave me a ‘what the fuck’ look. I put a hand up to stop him as he approached me.

  “So let’s tell ‘em,” I said to Sadie. “I’m proud of being with you, and Luke won’t have a problem with it when he finds out I’m committed.”

  She sighed deeply. “Let’s see if I get this job first.”

  “Yeah,” I said bitterly. “Am I supposed to say good luck?”

  “Say whatever you want.”

  “I have to go. I’ll see you when I see you, I guess.”

  I hung up and strode past my coach silently. A helpless frustration built inside me. I’d finally found someone I could see myself with long-term, but apparently she didn’t feel the same way. I’d have a hell of a time focusing on my game tonight.

  ***

  Sadie

  The storefront was nondescript – windows and peeling light brown paint. A few flyers decorated the door, and I scanned them as I opened it. It was the words adorning the top of the door’s glass window that made my heart kick up speed – Vereshkova’s Deli.

  What was I doing here? I still wasn’t sure. I hadn’t even admitted to myself I was coming here until I’d given the cab driver the address.

  Tables were scattered around the lobby, which had an old ceramic tile floor but was immaculately clean. Behind the counter, heavily accented voices called out orders. Some of them spoke Russian, and a pang of longing for Niko hit me.

  I stepped into line, studying the faces of the handful of employees behind the counter. I wondered if any of them were Niko’s family. Probably not. His mother was probably still with his father, who was recovering.

  But no matter. I’d wanted to come to this place to feel closer to him. This deli was a part of his life, and I wanted to see it.

  When I made it to the front of the line, I mumbled an order for a soda, paying quickly and leaving the line. I considered sitting in the lobby for a little bit, but decided it would be best to just leave.

  I’d never come back here. It would be too difficult. I’d been offered the columnist job during my interview, and I’d accepted it. Now I just needed to tell Niko.

  I was dreading it. I missed him so much, and we wouldn’t have a happy reunion. There had been a dark cloud over this whole leg of my trip just from knowing he was upset with me.

  But this was the right move for me. At least, I hoped it was. It was technically a larger newspaper than my Chicago one, but they were comparable. The difference was that this one wanted me on staff. I could still take the occasional freelance magazine assignment, too.

  I had a nagging sense that I was trying to prove something to myself with this move. That I was afraid to stay in Chicago and risk getting hurt by the man I’d unexpectedly fallen hard for.

  It was too late for these thoughts. I’d accepted the job. I scanned the sidewalk as I walked away from the deli, trying not to picture a young Niko playing here. A teenage Niko walking here with his hockey equipment. My Niko coming here to defend his family.

  I tossed the soda in a trash can and wrapped my arms around myself. I was supposed to feel happy right now – excited about my new opportunity. But instead I found myself already missing the man I hadn’t even said goodbye to yet.

  ***

  I was ugly crying, but dammit, I was entitled. Packing the Pride and Prejudice Niko had given me for Christmas into my carryon bag was sheer torture. The couch we’d been sitting on together Christmas morning had already been taken by the movers, but the memory was still crystal-clear.

  The whole thing was happening so quickly. I hadn’t had a moment to even catch my breath since accepting the New York job. That was probably good, because I also hadn’t had time to reconsider. I’d look back on this move one day as a sacrifice I made to further my career.

  Practically on cue, Niko stormed through the front door, sending my pulse into overdrive. I hadn’t seen him since before leaving for Ireland, but we’d had several phone fights and text wars.

  “What the fuck is this?” he demanded, shaking his head as he surveyed the room. “You can’t go.”

  I concentrated on the box I was taping closed, trying to ignore my thundering heart.

  “Actually, I can. That’s the good thing about being alone. I have no one to consider but myself.”

  “Bullshit, Sadie!” His angry yell echoed in the nearly empty apartment. “Fuck you for saying that to me. You’re not alone. Your family’s gone, and I’m so damn sorry for that. But you’re family to Luke and Dell and Kyler. And I … you mean a lot to me. I thought I meant something to you, too.”

  His eyes narrowed, and it wasn’t the anger I saw there that tore at me – it was the hurt.

  “You do, Niko.” I moved closer, standing so close I had to look up to meet his gaze. “You mean a lot to me, too, but this … I didn’t go out looking for the job, it found me.”

  “Fuck that,” he mumbled. “You’re not alone here, but you will be there. That’s what you want?”

  “I’ve done fine on my own for a long time. I don’t need anyone.”

  He reached out and stroked a large thumb across my cheek. “We all need someone, Sade. I want you to be my someone.”

  My throat tightened as his hand slid around my neck and he threaded his fingers into my hair.

  “I’m sorry,” I said, my voice hoarse with emotion.

  His shoulders dropped and his eyes closed. I wasn’t going to be able to keep from breaking down. This was so much harder than I’d expected it to be.

  “Sadie.” He raised his head to look out the window before turning to me. “You wanna know what I said that night? In Russian? Ya lyublyu tebya, moye solntse?”

  Hearing him speak Russian sent a wave of hot desire through my body. Did I want to know what it meant? Or would it haunt me when I looked back on my decision to accept this job?

  “It means ‘I love you, my sun.’ It’s a Russian term of endearment.”

  His tender words cracked open my resolve to stay strong. Tears burned my eyes.

  “Can we still see each other?” I asked. “Long distance?”

  His eyes darkened and he studied me. “I want more than that. I travel so much, we’d only see each other once or twice a month.”

  “I don’t have more than that.” Ang
er started welling inside me. Why was I expected to wait at home for him while he was off working? What about my career?

  “I know it’s early with us, but I feel like we’ve got something special,” he said, raking a hand through his dark hair. “I don’t want to lose you. If I was a plumber or a banker or something, I’d move to New York. I’d love to go there with you, but I can’t. I know being with a pro athlete means sacrificing, and it’s hard. But I’m asking you to. For me. For us. Stay.”

  I wanted to say yes. Everything in me was dying to agree and run into his arms. But was that the right decision? I wished like hell my parents were still here. I wanted to be able to talk to them about whether I should let my career or love guide me.

  “Niko,” I said softly. “This isn’t easy for me.”

  He threw his arms in the air, his expression twisting with anger.

  “Fine. Fuck it.” He stormed across the room and opened the front door, closing it with a slam. I sank to the floor, tears blurring the room into an undistinguishable swirl.

  He was right. Fuck it. If love hurt as much as I did now, I was better off alone.

  ***

  Niko

  Luke brushed the snowflakes out of his hair and slid onto the barstool next to me at Lucky’s.

  “What’s up, man?” he asked, giving me a puzzled look. “Your text was cryptic.”

  I finished off the beer I was drinking and glared at him.

  “Don’t give me any shit,” I said, pointing the empty bottle at him. “I’m serious. I’m fucking pissed right now and I don’t need your shit.”

  “Why would I give you shit? You’re the one who asked me to come here.”

  The bartender approached and we both ordered a beer.

  “I’ve been seeing Sadie,” I admitted, not looking at Luke. I felt him tensing beside me.

  “Motherfucker, I told you—”

  I cut him off, turning to face him. “Don’t. I know what you told me, but I couldn’t help it. I love her. You were worried I’d break her heart, but she broke mine instead.”