Grizzly Survival: A Paranormal Shifter M/M Romance (Arcadian Bears Book 5)

by Becca Jameson

  Dale expelled a long breath. “Maybe. But what difference does it make? He’s got too many issues. Who sneaks out in the middle of the night? Someone who realizes they can’t take the heat. I don’t have time for that.” Who was Dale trying to convince?

  Wyatt leaned against the side of the house and crossed his legs. “I’ve learned we make time for the things that are important to us. You know that as well as I do.”

  “He’s human,” Dale pointed out as if that made all the difference.

  “So? You’ve dated humans before.”

  Dale cringed. “And look how that turned out?”

  Wyatt winced. “Not just Ethan. You’ve dated other humans.”

  “Gavin and I weren’t dating, exactly. More like hooking up.”

  “Is that what you’re telling yourself?”

  Dale rolled his eyes. “I don’t need the fourth degree. If I wanted harassment, I would have gone to see my mother.”

  “Maybe you should. She’s a smart woman.”

  Dale dropped the board and lowered himself to sit on the edge of the deck, facing the amazing view of the mountains in the distance, though he barely noticed this morning. “I don’t think I can do it again,” he whispered.

  Wyatt approached and sat next to him. “Sometimes we don’t have a choice.”

  “We always have a choice.”

  Wyatt shook his head. “Not when it comes to love.”

  Dale dug the toe of his boot into the dirt. “I can’t even bind to him. That was half the problem I had with Ethan. It drove us apart.”

  “No, it didn’t. Lots of shifters spend their lives with humans. Maybe they don’t bind in the traditional sense, but they still live happy fulfilled lives together. It’s no different than when humans set up house. Same thing.”

  “And I’ve always felt sorry for them. They’re so totally missing out on the connection of bound mates.”

  “But they don’t know it. And neither do you. It might be different if you’d previously been bound to someone and lost them. I would be able to understand you lamenting that lost connection with your next partner. But you’ve never been bound to another, so you don’t even know the difference. Does he make you happy?”

  Dale threw his hands up. “I don’t know. Hell, he left town the moment the going got tough.”

  “Maybe he really did just want some space to think. Maybe he’ll be back before you know it.”

  Dale shook his head. “I don’t think so. Not this time. I think I scared him away.”

  “How? I know he was worried about the council erasing his memory. I’m sure you assured him that wouldn’t happen. What else would scare him off?”

  Dale hesitated telling Wyatt about his evening. It wasn’t as if Wyatt didn’t know about Dale’s dominating tendencies, but it was so personal this time. He wasn’t sure Gavin would want Wyatt—or more specifically Paige—knowing about his submissive side.

  “You dominated him last night,” Wyatt deadpanned.

  Dale bit the inside of his lip and said nothing.

  “This doesn’t surprise me. Nor would it surprise me to find out that Gavin leaned that way. He has struck me as submissive every time I’ve been around the two of you.”

  Dale shot him a glare. “It’s not like I boss him around all the time. I’m not that kind of Dom. It’s strictly in the bedroom.”

  Wyatt shrugged. “I know, but the walls of the bedroom sometimes blur. That man looks at you like you’re his alpha all the time.”

  Was that true? Dale wasn’t sure. All he knew was that Gavin was gone, and Dale didn’t have the faintest notion where to find him. He sure as hell wasn’t going to chase the man all over the country. That wasn’t his style. If Gavin said he wanted space, he could have all the space he needed. If Dale was still available when he returned, they could talk. If not, too bad.

  Wyatt interrupted his pity party. “Paige is going to want to call him.”

  “Paige can do whatever she wants.” Dale stood and grabbed the box of nails sitting on the ground. “You mind if I get back to work?”

  “No. But only if it’s cathartic. You don’t have to be here today.” Wyatt pushed off the deck and stepped onto it. He headed for the back door but turned around at the last second. “Hey, George wanted to talk to you. You left so fast yesterday he didn’t have a chance. He’s gonna be looking for you. And Gavin too.”

  “Not surprising,” Dale muttered. Fuck, he thought in his head. The last thing he needed was the Arcadian Council breathing down his neck again. Just because he came out of hiding to hack into Kelly’s computer yesterday didn’t mean he was ready to go back to working for the council. He was never going to be ready to do that. It had been about a year since the last time George came to speak to him. After yesterday, it was only expected he would show up again.

  As if someone had read his mind, his mother reached out to him two seconds later. “Dale, can you come by for lunch? George is still in town. He’d like to talk to you.”

  Dale almost laughed. It wasn’t as though he could avoid the man. He was one of the forty members of the most powerful governing body in North America. With the exception of the head of the council, Eleanor, George ranked right up there in seniority. Laurence ranked higher, but for some reason, George had been assigned the task of keeping tabs on Dale five years ago, and that had never changed.

  “I’ll be there,” he communicated to his mother.

  “Alone?”

  “Yes.” Was she making a suggestion that he come unattended or simply inquiring? Dale didn’t want to ask.

  “Okay, dear. See you then.”

  Dale set his mind on the task in front of him and made a serious dent in his progress in the next two hours. He wrapped up at eleven and headed home to shower and change. By noon, he was in his mother’s living room, sitting on one of the two burgundy armchairs across from George who looked ridiculous on his mother’s floral couch. It had shades of pink and maroon in it to match the maroon carpet. He was pretty sure his father hated the room since he never spent time there, but the man adored his mate and would give her anything she wanted, including a pink room.

  “You did good work, yesterday,” George began. He sat as calm and cool as a cucumber, one leg crossed casually over the other, his elbow on the arm of the couch, his chin resting on his fingers.

  Dale shrugged. “It was nothing.”

  “You know that’s not true. If it weren’t for you, Paige Osborn would still be sitting in that cage hungry and thirsty.”

  At least she would probably be alive…

  George sighed, reminding Dale it was nearly impossible to hide thoughts from the man. “I know you were dealt a crappy hand in life, Dale. No one feels that strain more than I do. A piece of me died that day five years ago. But it wasn’t your fault. You can’t blame yourself for the rest of your life. It’s not healthy. You have to move on.”

  What was this, an intervention? He glanced around, but no one else was even in the house. His parents had gone out back to give Dale time alone with George—time he didn’t want or ask for.

  “I’ve moved on. I’m working. I have steady jobs.”

  “In construction,” he stated.

  “I like working with my hands. It keeps me busy. You shouldn’t belittle the profession.”

  “You know that’s not my intention. But you’re hiding. It allows you to hide your feelings.” George dropped his leg and leaned forward, his elbows on his knees. “There’s nothing wrong with construction, but you’re so talented and capable of so much more. We need you.”

  Dale leaned his head back against the chair and stared at the ceiling. “I’m not coming back to work for you, George. No matter how sweet the deal is. I don’t do that sort of thing anymore.”

  “Except you did yesterday. And you saved a woman’s life.”

  Dale chuckled sardonically. “I hardly think that crazy lady was an actual threat to Paige.”

  “You don’t know that. She was unstable
. Anything was possible. Besides, how would you feel if Wyatt Arthur was still pacing the floor this morning worrying about his mate?”

  Like a total fuck. That’s why I did it. For him. Because he needed me. Not for you.

  George stared at him. Undoubtedly Dale was not blocking his thoughts well. Finally, he licked his lips. “Who is Gavin Wright to you? You two seemed close.”

  Dale chuckled again and rolled his eyes. “Don’t pretend you don’t know we’ve been seeing each other.”

  “I’m not trying to be coy here. I’m just asking how serious it is.”

  “Not serious. Hell, I don’t even know where he is today. He was so stressed out worrying you would erase his memory he probably left town.”

  “No one’s going to alter his awareness. He’s given us no reason to be concerned about him. Give him my word.”

  “I know this. But he’s not convinced.”

  “Understandable. Now answer my question.”

  Dale sighed and rubbed his brow with his fingers. “I don’t know. It could be. But he’s human. I don’t want to get tangled up with a human again. It’s too hard. It would stress me out never being able to communicate with him long distance. It’s unnatural.”

  “Plenty of shifters manage.” The man sounded like a therapist.

  “And look where that got me last time?”

  George nodded. “Unfortunate, yes, but would you be better off not taking a chance on love just because your partner might get hit by a car or get cancer?”

  “Yes.”

  “You don’t mean that. I saw the way you handled Gavin yesterday. He’s important to you. I know you would never turn your back on anyone, but especially not someone you cared about. I’m sure it’s eating you up inside, but I’m equally sure you won’t let a second chance at love slip through your fingers out of fear.”

  Dale shook his head. “I don’t think I can take that chance. Maybe some people can. But not me.”

  “What if he were a shifter? Would you do it then?”

  “You willing to let me change him?” Dale challenged, lifting a brow.

  “Of course not. We don’t make exceptions. The law stands firm in all cases. I’m simply pointing out that you wouldn’t hesitate if he were a grizzly, and though you might have your doubts because he’s not, I know you will do the right thing in the end. The heart is a powerful tool.”

  Yep. He was officially a psychiatrist.

  Seconds ticked by. “We need you, Dale. Please consider returning to work for us. I know it will be hard at first, but you’ll get your groove back. We don’t have anyone as skilled as you to do the job.”

  The job. The goddamn job. Computer hacker extraordinaire for the Arcadian Council. On the surface it appeared harmless and mundane. The council needed people to protect and maintain their own internal computer systems from outside hackers. Any breach could be detrimental to their entire way of life.

  Secondary job tasks included monitoring human social media to ensure there was no chatter about the possible existence of shifters. It was imperative to quell any raised eyebrows before they snowballed.

  Until five years ago, Dale had been in charge of that department. He was the best. He knew that. It was a busy job that required nights and weekends. Sometimes he had worked around the clock. And he could have handled the stressful, heavy workload probably for his entire life, if it hadn’t been for the third responsibility the job entailed—locating lost or missing people. When a child or a woman was missing, his job was the hardest and most painful.

  How many people had been missing or lost in the last five years since he’d quit? He shuddered, not wanting the answer.

  “Twenty-seven,” George shared anyway. “In North America. That’s not to say you would have specifically made a difference in any case. There’s no way to know. Almost a dozen other people work in that department, Dale. You don’t shoulder the burden alone. But I do know I trust you more than anyone who has tried to fill your shoes in all these years. No department head has ever had your skill level. I want you to consider coming back. How about part-time at first? Get your feet wet. Ease into it. I know at times it’s a stressful, demanding job that tugs at the soul. It takes a special person to handle it emotionally and not let it ruin their life.”

  Again Dale chuckled. “And you think that person is me? Has it not escaped your attention that it did ruin my life?”

  George sighed. “Only if you let it. You’re special, Dale. You have a gift. Stop hiding and put it back to use. Your people are counting on you.” George stood abruptly. “I have to go. Henry is waiting on me. I will want to speak to Gavin Wright at some point. No rush. Call me when he’s calmer.”

  If I ever see him again…

  George didn’t comment on that last thought. He left silently, walking out the front door and disappearing into his SUV.

  »»•««

  Gavin was shocked when he heard a noise and lifted his gaze to find Paige standing five feet from him. She wiped her hands on her thighs and licked her lips, her gaze darting around the rundown tree house. “I haven’t been back here since that day,” she pointed out unnecessarily.

  Gavin jumped to his feet and moved quickly toward her. He took her in his arms and held her tight. “How did you know where to find me?” He grabbed her shoulders and leaned back to see her eyes.

  She was breathing hard.

  He was such an ass. Why hadn’t he realized she would find him here? It was cruel to lure her to this spot. Visions of that day ten years ago flitted through his mind like so many snapshots. Paige curled up in the corner of the tree house, naked from the waist down. Her knees bloody. Tears staining her face—fresh and old ones. Antoine Tarben shifting outside the tree house before taking off into the woods. His glance at Gavin who hadn’t known about shifters until that moment. The words he’d screamed at Paige—threatening her if she told anyone. Threatening his own life if she said a word.

  He knew the same memories would be flooding her mind if she hadn’t blocked them. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t think anyone would find me here. Let’s get out of here.” He pulled her toward the entrance.

  She shook her head. “No. It’s okay. I need to face my fears anyway.” She grabbed his forearms and headed for the far wall, lowering herself onto her butt when she got there.

  He sat next to her.

  “It looks so much smaller than it did when we were kids.”

  Their fathers had helped them build this place when they were small. It wasn’t exactly a tree house, other than the fact that it sort of butted up against a giant trunk. It was only a few feet off the ground, but it kept them dry and gave them a place to play in the trees behind the houses on their street.

  So many good memories. And then so many bad ones.

  “Wyatt is waiting outside,” she told him.

  “Oh. He could come in.”

  “No. I needed to do this alone. Besides, I wanted to talk to you.”

  Gavin swallowed. “Did you tell Wyatt…it happened here?”

  “Yes.”

  “Who else knows…about Antoine?”

  “The Arcadian Council. Wyatt’s family. The Tarbens. It’s not a secret anymore. It was time to let it go.”

  Gavin nodded. “I shouldn’t have come here.”

  “I knew you would. I know you well enough to realize you would be chasing demons today. The biggest one started here.”

  “Yeah. But that didn’t mean I needed to drag you down with me.”

  “It’s cathartic in a way. Maybe I can fully put it behind me now.”

  “You have a good man at your side.”

  “I know. I’m so damn lucky. And I’ll never take it for granted.” She pointed at the center of the floor. “We made a pact ten years ago right in that spot.”

  “Yeah.”

  “We were kids,” she stated, turning to look at him. “I’m surprised we kept that deal this long. I thought you would crack first. I knew it would never be me.”

&
nbsp; He smiled. “I knew it would never be me.”

  She grinned. “I didn’t think I could find love. It snuck up on me.”

  “I’m so happy for you.”

  She tipped her head to one side. “I want the same for you.”

  He glanced down at the floor. “I know you do. I’m working on it.” He lifted his gaze. “I told my parents this morning.”

  Her brows rose. “You did? How did they take it?”

  “About as you’d expect. They didn’t yell or scream. I know my mom was hurting, and she tried hard to convince me to see her pastor or get counseling. I don’t know when or if I’ll see them again.”

  “I’m so sorry.” She grabbed his arm and held it tight.

  He could feel her strength and comfort and absorbed it. “It’s okay. I actually feel so much better, like a huge weight has been lifted. Our relationship has always been strained. Fake. Based on lies. I’m free now. I think I can face the world as myself finally. I don’t need to worry about someone telling them.”

  “We’ve both grown about five years in the last week.”

  “Apparently.”

  “What about Dale? You seemed…”

  “I don’t know. It’s complicated. He’s a shifter. I would always feel like I was holding him back if I started a relationship with him. It was fun while it lasted,” he lied.

  “You don’t mean that.”

  He looked away. “What difference does it make?”

  “He came to the house this morning.”

  “He did? Why?” He scrunched up his forehead, surprised.

  “To work on the deck.” She giggled. “Crazy man was trying to keep his mind off the lover who left him in the middle of the night with no note.”

  “He told you all that?” Gavin was shocked. Dale was kind of a private man. Not that Gavin cared, but he was stunned.

  “No. Wyatt pulled it out of him this morning. You should go to him. Talk it out. I know yesterday was hard, but Dale seems like a kind and patient man.”

  You have no idea.

  Gavin sighed. “He probably thinks I left for completely different reasons than the actual ones.”

  “Then maybe you should set him straight. He deserves at least that.”