Keeping Score

by Shannon Stults

  The Laurens County sign flashed by her in a blur of green with Logan’s bike leading by a good foot or two.

  She was laughing in celebration of her victory when the road straightened out and the bridge came in sight. And then she saw it.

  Sitting directly in front of the bridge in the middle of the road was a sign declaring the bridge was out. She swerved the bike, just barely missing the sign, only to drive straight into a deep pothole. The next thing she knew, she was rolling across the unforgiving asphalt and over the edge of the steep, rocky slope just in front of the bridge.

  Logan’s hands scrambled to grab hold of something, and in the chaos, she somehow managed to catch herself on a large, jagged stone. It was steady enough to hold her as she planted her feet on the loose rocks and soil beneath. She lay still as a statue, aside from her frantic breaths, convinced that any sudden movement or shift would send her foothold out from under her. She tried not to look down as she held herself precariously on the edge of the hill, at least a hundred feet above the hard ground and railroad tracks beneath.

  “Cole!” she cried, her voice muffled by the large helmet. The sharp rock bit into her palms, but Logan couldn’t move to shift them, too scared she might fall. “Cole!”

  He didn’t answer; an image of his broken, unconscious body flooded her mind and panic clawed its way through her chest. Then she heard feet hitting the ground hard and fast, and she nearly cried.

  “Lo!” he yelled, running up to the side of the slope. He knelt down and leaned over the edge. “Here, take my hand.”

  She looked up to see his hand reaching down for hers. It didn’t quite reach, though, so she would have to use her feet to get up to him. All she had to do was let go and push, but she was frozen.

  “Look at me, Lo!”

  She forced herself to look up, finding his sure and steady gaze. His voice was strong and commanding, but she could see the fear buried deep in his eyes. “Don’t worry, okay. I won’t let you fall, remember? Just take my hand. Come on.”

  Logan’s eyes returned to his outstretched hand several inches above the stone she clung to. She took a deep breath, drawing on his calm to find her own. She let go of the rock with one hand as she attempted to push up with her legs.

  Cole’s hand immediately found hers and then he was lifting her with a superhuman strength. “Now let your other hand go,” he said. She did as he told her to, her hand flying up to his wrist. He lifted her a foot, then another, and soon his arm was around her, pulling her out into the middle of the road.

  Her knees shook as her feet planted on the ground. They started to give, but Cole kept an arm around her, supporting her weight.

  He quickly but carefully removed her helmet with one hand and let it clatter to the ground. “Are you okay?” he asked, the panic he’d clearly been suppressing coming out in full force. He let her go and searched nearly every inch of her for anything broken, scratched, or cut.

  “I’m fine,” she said as she contemplated the pain or even death she’d just narrowly avoided. They were both okay. Her hands trembled and muscles grew heavy as reality settled in.

  Cole kept searching as if he hadn’t heard her, his hands checking her everywhere. Her clothes were visibly worn and torn from her skid across the road, and she winced when his hand checked her shoulder.

  “You’re hurt. How bad is it?”

  She shook her head. “No, it’s fine. Cole.” She placed her hands on each side of his face, forcing him to look into her eyes. She smiled. “I’m fine, I promise.”

  He was breathing heavily, and the harsh lines around his eyes and forehead softened. “Thank God,” he sighed.

  She was laughing, giddy, when Cole wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into a somewhat painful hug that she returned.

  And then his lips were on hers.

  It lasted only for a second and was over before she had a chance to react. Cole pulled away fractionally, and their eyes met.

  Their short breaths mingled as they stood completely still, still holding on to each other. “You just kissed me.”

  His expression didn’t waver, but his gaze searched hers frantically. “I did.”

  “You shouldn’t do that,” she whispered. Neither of them said anything. Logan knew she should pull away but couldn’t figure out how to make her arms work. Her eyes trailed down to his lips.

  Without thinking, she threw her hand up to the nape of his neck and drew his mouth back down to hers. He responded instantly, pulling her even tighter into him. One hand traveled down to her waist, the other getting tangled in her long, messy hair as their lips found each other again and again.

  Logan felt like the entire world could go up in flames around them and she wouldn’t notice. With each press of his lips against hers, she spiraled deeper and deeper into the moment, until she couldn’t tell which way was up.

  Her heart pounded in her throat, and her tongue took on a life of its own. It traced a line along his bottom lip. Cole moaned.

  “Stop,” she said breathlessly. She pulled out of his hold. “I—we can’t do this.”

  “Why?” he pleaded as he took a step closer.

  She held up a hand. Why? That was a good question. She took a deep breath to try to clear her swimming head. Her hands clenched into fists as she thought, the ring on her left hand pinching her skin.

  “I’m engaged,” she finally said. “I’m marrying Jacob.”

  He groaned. “You can’t be serious. You’re still going to marry this guy?”

  “Of course I am,” she said. “Why wouldn’t I?”

  “Because of this,” he said, pointing between them. “Because of what just happened.”

  “You think I’m going to call off my engagement just because you kissed me?” she asked, voice rising. They’d been caught up in the moment, nothing more. Unless, of course, he’d done it on purpose just to mess with her mind.

  It was just sex.

  “Is that why you did it? Are you that desperate to screw with my life? To win this stupid game?”

  “You know that’s not what this is about. Stop trying to pretend there’s nothing here,” he demanded. “We both know this is about a hell of a lot more than a game.”

  She took a deep breath, ready to give the same argument she’d already given herself several times in the last twelve hours. “What I know is that I love Jacob, and I am a better person when I’m with him. What is so wrong with wanting to be with someone like that?”

  “That’s not who you are! You are so much more than the person he thinks you are.” Cole raked his hands through his hair. “Do you really think he’s going to stick around when he finds out it’s all been one big lie?”

  “He loves me,” she said, shaking her head.

  “He doesn’t even know you!” he yelled. “Not like I do.”

  “So?” she cried because denying it would be a wasted effort. “So what?”

  He tried to take another step closer, and this time she let him. “I know you, and I know you won’t be happy pretending to be someone you’re not,” he said, his voice low and strained.

  “Why does it matter to you?” She had to fight the angry tears coming to her eyes. “Why do you even care?”

  It was just sex.

  “God, you’re such an idiot!” he shouted. “How are you so blind that you can’t even see that I—” He stopped with a huff, midsentence.

  “That you what?” she asked, unable to breathe as she waited for his answer.

  He stared into her eyes, hands falling to his sides. “I—” Cole shook his head.

  A car horn blasted through the air. The two of them whipped around to see the black Bronco hurling down the narrow road, its trailer no longer in tow.

  “A call just came out over the scanner,” Cowboy yelled, jumping out of the truck. “There’s a fire in town. It sounds bad.”

  Logan’s eyes shot to the sky, and sure enough, there was a dark cloud of smoke billowing nearby. She hadn’t noticed it in all t
he chaos after the accident.

  “Where?” Cole asked.

  “Wade’s.”

  Her heart plummeted. “You’re sure?” Cowboy nodded.

  “You guys get the bikes back to Logan’s truck and take care of them,” Cole told Cowboy quickly before running for the Bronco. “I’ll meet you back at the house later.”

  She shook her head. “I’m going with you.” She pulled the keys to her truck from her pocket and tossed them to Cowboy without a second thought.

  “No. You need to stay with Cowboy while I go see what I can do to help. There’s no point in you coming. You’ll either get hurt or be in the way.” He ripped the driver’s-side door open.

  “My dad’s there. He has lunch with the mayor every Saturday.”

  “All the more reason for you to stay away.” He was already in the driver’s seat, about to slam the door shut when Logan grabbed it.

  “He’s my dad, Cole,” she pleaded. He couldn’t possibly expect her to sit around and do nothing while her dad was in danger.

  He glowered at her with pursed lips and gritted teeth. “All right, fine.” Logan shot to the passenger-side door in a heartbeat, wrenching it open and climbing in. Cole turned the key in the ignition and put the truck in gear.

  “Buckle up.”

  *

  April—Senior Year

  The tree leaves rustled as Cole climbed up another branch to the open window. The lights were off inside, the room lit by moonlight. He peered inside and could just make out a figure lying on the bed.

  “Lo,” he whispered. “You awake?”

  Her head rested at the foot of her bed, her hands folded and lying on her stomach as she stared at the ceiling. She wiped at her face and looked over just as he crawled his way in through the window.

  “Go away, Cole. I’m not in the mood.”

  “I come in peace,” he said, his words slurring a little. “I heard the chief was going to be okay, so I thought a celebration was in order.”

  He’d been drinking with his brothers when they got word that the chief of police had been shot while on duty. He couldn’t have explained the sickness he felt shred through his stomach at the news. All he could see was Lo, crying those tears he hated, not knowing if the person she loved most in the world would live until tomorrow. Even after hearing Chief Kase would make a full recovery, all he wanted to do was find Lo and make sure she was okay.

  She sat up, took one look at him standing in front of her window, and rolled her eyes. “You’re drunk. How did you even get here?”

  “I got Cowboy to drive me over. He’s outside waiting for us.”

  “Us?”

  He nodded, and the room tilted slightly around him. “Yeah, the three of us are going to go out and celebrate.”

  “No thanks.”

  The ache in her voice felt as sharp as a blade. “Don’t sound so sad,” he pleaded. “The doc said your dad would be fine. You should be happy.”

  “Right,” she said, her voice cracking as she spoke. “I should be so happy after finding out my dad got shot.”

  He sat on the edge of her bed. “He’s a cop, Lo. It happens sometimes, part of the job.”

  “Exactly. Meaning this could happen again.”

  “I didn’t mean it like that,” he muttered. “Besides, this is Willow Creek we’re talking about. The chances of your dad getting shot again are next to nothing.”

  “But what if it does happen again?” she cried, wiping her cheeks. “And what if next time he isn’t so lucky?”

  “Hey,” he said softly. He lowered himself down next to her on the bed and held his arm out in offering. “Come here.”

  Logan sniffed before rolling over. He put his arm around her, allowing her to rest her heavy head on his shoulder and drape her arm across his chest. This was why he’d come rushing over. To comfort her. Even if, to her, it was nothing more than a friendly gesture.

  “Your dad is strong,” he said, lifting his hand to run his fingers through her short hair. “You know he won’t go down without a fight. And he wouldn’t leave you if he could help it. He’ll get through this just fine, just like he’ll get through anything else that comes at him.”

  Logan sniffed again. “I just don’t understand how he can do it. Go out every day knowing he may not come back. How can he do that, knowing what it would do to me and Momma if he didn’t?”

  Cole shrugged. “Your dad’s a good man. He just wants to help people, protect them.”

  “Is that why you want to be a firefighter?”

  “It’s one of the reasons,” he admitted before letting out a small laugh. “Not to mention the great pickup lines I’ll get to use.”

  Logan took a deep breath. “I see how Momma is with my dad, all nervous whenever he leaves the house, anxious until he walks through the door in the evening. I just can’t imagine loving someone so much and choosing to be with them every day, not knowing if I’ll ever see them again.” She arched her neck to look up at Cole. “You know that’s what you’ll be putting your wife through one day when you get married. How could you stand doing that to her?”

  “Well,” he said slowly. He hadn’t really ever thought about it before, getting married, having a wife he adored waiting for him every day when he got home, worrying. Even as he tried to imagine the unknown woman, it didn’t feel half as right as the way Logan felt in his arms right now.

  “Whoever I do end up marrying, she’ll be someone tough. A girl who can handle that kind of uncertainty, because she knows that what I’m doing is important. She won’t be selfish; she’ll be brave and encouraging, even when the thought of what could happen scares her to death.”

  She sighed. “You think I’m being selfish.”

  He closed his eyes, his arms tightening around her. “No. I think you’ve already lived with it for so long that you know better than anyone just how scary that uncertainty is. And yet, when the time comes for someone you love to put their life on the line like that for someone else, I think you’ll let them because you know they’re doing the right thing.”

  They lay there quietly several more minutes. Maybe the alcohol was partly to blame, but Cole had never felt so peaceful in all his life. A guy could get used to this, lying in bed day after day, holding the girl of his dreams.

  Not that he’d ever be so lucky. After years of this thing between him and her, he’d gotten used to the idea that nothing would ever happen. No matter what he did, she just didn’t see him that way. And with her going off to college in a few months, there wasn’t enough time left to convince her. Instead, he’d be happy with small victories like this one.

  He was just about to drift into sleep when Logan sat up. He felt her hand settle like a feather on his chest. “Cole?”

  He responded by putting his hand over hers. “Hmm.”

  The bed shifted, and he felt the soft press of her lips on his cheek. He sucked in a breath, and his eyes flew open to meet her gaze. “Thanks for checking on me.”

  He squeezed her hand on his chest as he stared up at her, and he smiled. “I always will.” His chest rose and fell with a new lightness. It was like she was watching him, studying him, with fresh eyes. Maybe he’d given up on her too soon. Maybe he had a little more time. Maybe…

  Maybe there was still a chance.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  “What’s going on, Lilly?” Cole asked as soon as they reached her. Her face was ashen, and her clothes clung to the sweat on her skin.

  Her vacant eyes met his. “Grease fire,” she said. Her voice was low, devoid of any feeling. Probably in shock. “I’ve told Lou so many times to be careful.”

  “Is everyone okay? Did everybody get out?”

  “I think so,” she muttered. “I—I don’t know.”

  Logan scanned the parking lot. She saw Mayor Singer trying to calm a woman and her crying child and Big Lou staring dumbfoundedly at the blaze, among others. But she couldn’t find the one person she needed to see. “Where’s my dad, Lill?”


  Lilly managed to focus then. “He wouldn’t come out until he got everyone else out.” Her head snapped up, looking around. “I haven’t seen him. I don’t know if he came out.”

  “No,” Logan cried, her eyes shooting to the bar. There was a thick cloud of smoke, flames visible through the windows. She started to run.

  Cole grabbed her arm and pulled her back. “You can’t go in there, Lo.”

  “I have to! My dad’s still in there,” she said, trying to pull out of his grip. “I have to do something.”

  Cole glanced at the building over her shoulder. “Stay here,” he ordered. “Don’t move, you understand?”

  Her stomach dropped. “What are you doing?”

  “I’m going in there to get him.”

  “You can’t!” she yelled. She could just make out the sounds of sirens above the deafening crackle of flames licking over wood. “You could get hurt.”

  “It’s my job. I know what I’m doing.” He tried to move past her, but Logan caught his wrist.

  “But the firefighters are coming. They’ve got gear and suits, and you don’t.” Her voice rose in panic.

  He shook his head. “There’s no time. Your dad needs me, and the longer I stand here the more danger he’s in!”

  “But—”

  “I have to try, Lo.”

  She didn’t know what to do. She wanted her dad to be safe, needed him to be. And she knew that Cole running in there could be the only way to save him. It should have been easy for her. But the thought of Cole running into a burning building and never coming out—

  She could lose both of them.

  She let him go, and Cole instantly turned and ran for the bar. He lifted the collar of his long-sleeved T-shirt over his mouth as he ran up the porch steps, through the door, and into the thick cloud of smoke.

  The police cars, firetrucks, and an ambulance appeared, honking their horns while people in the crowd moved out of their way. The men scrambled out of the firetruck and set to work readying the hoses. Many of the onlookers in the crowd murmured to each other as they watched, but Logan couldn’t take her eyes off the front door of the bar.