Wildfire Shifters: Collection 1
Page 92
There was no place for Callum in that tight-knit huddle. He was on the outside, as he always had been.
As he always would be.
Callum stepped back, shifting. He took to the sky, and none of them even noticed he was gone.
Chapter 27
Callum didn’t come back.
Connor joined them at dinner—it turned out he’d been hiding at the nearest bar to avoid getting drawn into his brothers’ confrontation—but Callum never appeared. Diana stayed up long into the night, waiting for him to return. She fell asleep listening for his soft, quiet tread, and woke up to echoing absence.
Even now, she kept turning at every little noise, hoping it was him. She kept expecting the cabin door to open, for him to step through and…and…
Diana wasn’t sure what she expected him to do. What she wanted him to do. Throw himself at her feet? Sweep her into his arms? Plead with her to stay? Beg to come with her?
Like that’s ever going to happen, she thought bleakly. Callum would never return to his home city. Not while his brothers were there.
Diana had heard the old, unhealed hurt in his voice as he’d described how they’d tormented him as a child. She’d seen for herself the deep, bitter rift dividing him from Connor and Conleth.
And she was on the wrong side of it.
Conleth was Beth’s father. He would be part of her life now, a big part, forever. How could she expect Callum to swallow all those old grievances and play happy families, just for her sake? Let alone endure fresh wounds as he watched Conleth claim Beth’s love, claim the role of her father?
It was too much to ask of him. Too much to ask of anyone.
Maybe it was just as well he hadn’t come back.
Diana packed the last romper into the cardboard box, and taped up the lid. She hadn’t wanted to take much—Callum had paid for everything, after all--but she also hadn’t wanted to just leave all the baby stuff cluttering up the place. The least she could do for Callum was to make sure he wouldn’t be assaulted by bitter reminders of Beth when he did come back to his cabin.
“I think that’s the last of it,” she said, taking Beth back from Rory. “You’ll see this gets put to good use, right?”
Rory hefted the heavy box under one arm without any apparent effort. “I’ll put it in the storeroom. For when you come back.”
“I’m not coming back.” She handed him Callum’s spare keys. “Give this to him when you see him, okay? And tell him…tell him…”
“I’ll tell him he’s being a bloody idiot,” Rory rumbled. “And to get his sorry tail on the next plane to England.”
“Don’t.” She laid a hand on his arm, looking up into those kind, sad golden eyes. “Please. Just…don’t. Be here for him, as his friend. For my sake.”
Rory’s broad shoulders fell in a sigh, but he nodded, slowly. “I will as long as I can. Edith and I are going back to Brighton soon. And the others, too. We have a tradition of all our families getting together for Christmas. Callum…I’ll do my best to persuade him to come. But the rest of us will see you there, at least.”
“I’d like that very much.” On impulse, she gave him a hug. “Thanks, Rory. Take care of him for me.”
Diana had already said her goodbyes—or goodbyes for now—to the rest of the squad. Duffel bag over her shoulder, Beth in her arms, she headed for the cabin Conleth and Connor had borrowed.
“Hi Connor,” she said as he opened the door. “Is Conleth here?”
He shot her a wry look, which tipped her off to her mistake a moment too late. “Actually, it is me.”
“I’m sorry!” Flushing with embarrassment, she gestured at the Thunder Mountain Hotshot t-shirt he was wearing. “I just assumed from the clothes…”
His face split into a sudden broad, beaming grin that very much wasn’t Conleth’s. “Naw, I’m just messing with you. It’s Connor.”
Diana was starting to have a lot more sympathy for Callum. “Do you take every opportunity to do that?”
Still smirking, Connor shrugged. “Wouldn’t you, if you had an identical twin?”
“Not as often as you do.” Diana hesitated, studying him. “Connor? Why do you do that so much? You must know that Callum really hates it.”
Connor’s grin flickered, just for a second. “Yeah. But at least it gets his attention. And I…just like being someone else, sometimes.”
Then his smile was back, with full mega-watt force. “Anyway, it’s freaking hilarious. Conleth! Diana’s here!”
“Thank you, I have not suddenly stopped being a pegasus shifter in the last five minutes.” Conleth emerged from the cabin, pushing Connor to one side with a casual, brotherly shove. Diana still found it disconcerting to see two identical faces side-by-side like that. “What is it, Diana? Is something wrong?”
“No.” She held up her packed duffel bag. “I just wanted to let you know that I’m ready to go when you are.”
For the first time since she’d met him, Conleth looked less than entirely self-assured. “But Callum’s not back yet.”
“I don’t…” Diana had to stop for a second, swallowing the pain. “I don’t think he’s coming to say goodbye. It’ll be easier on him if we just go.”
Conleth had the expression of a man whose day was suddenly not going to plan. “But he’s supposed to come back.”
“I told you you’d overplayed your hand,” Connor muttered.
Diana looked from one brother to the other. “Am I missing something here?”
“Yes.” Connor leaned on the doorframe, hooking his thumbs into the waistband of his jeans. “The fact that my brother is a pig-headed idiot.”
“Callum isn’t—”
“Not Callum.” Connor jerked his chin in Conleth’s direction. “That one.”
Conleth glared at him, though worry still lurked at the edges of his expression. “I’m not the one who’s currently sulking god-knows-where rather than coming back to where he clearly belongs.”
Connor let out a long-suffering sigh. It was exactly the same sound that Conleth had made about him the previous day. “No. You’re the one who’s once again manipulating everyone into doing what you want, just so that you can avoid having to apologize.”
“I’m not the one who needs to apologize!”
“Yeah, yeah, you never are. But for once you can’t pin this on me, Conleth. You’re the one that screwed the pooch this time.” Connor glanced at Diana. “Uh. Sorry. Bad choice of words. No offence intended.”
“None taken,” Diana replied. “Is someone going to explain to me what’s going on?”
Conleth started to pace in tight, anxious steps. Diana’s heart twisted, because it was exactly the same way Callum moved when he was worried.
“He’ll come back.” Conleth ran a hand through his hair, searching the sky as though expecting to see flame-red wings appear at any second. “He has to come back. She’s his mate.”
Connor sighed again. “Sometimes I think that I got all the brains in this family as well as all the good looks. Not to mention all the charisma, moves, sense of humor and sex appeal.” He turned to Diana, gesturing at his brother. “Conleth thought that he could use you to drag Callum back home at last.”
Diana stared from Connor to Conleth. “You want Callum to come to England with us?”
Conleth looked at her as if this should have been self-evident. “Of course I do. He’s my brother.”
“But—but—” Diana struggled to make sense of this. “You said such terrible things to him yesterday. You acted like you were furious with him.”
“I am furious with him. He tried to keep Beth away from me! Just like he’s kept himself away from me, for years and years! Callum’s a stubborn, selfish, proud...” For once, Conleth seemed to run out of words. His chest heaved, as though he was struggling to catch his breath. “And I...I…”
“He misses him,” Connor supplied, when his brother didn’t continue. “We both do.”
Conleth’s shoulders slumped. He
sat down heavily on the cabin’s front steps, burying his face in his hands.
“I just wanted him to come home,” he said, muffled. “I just wanted my family back.”
Beth was wriggling in Diana’s arms, getting bored. Diana put her down on the cabin’s porch, next to the railing so she could practice pulling herself up. She sat down next to Conleth.
“Have you ever told him that?” she asked softly.
Conleth dropped his hands again with a sigh. “I’ve tried. But he doesn’t listen to me. He’s the only person I can’t make listen. Who I can’t talk round.”
“Maybe you should have tried different words,” Connor suggested. “Like, ‘I miss you, bro’ rather than ‘For heaven’s sake, Callum, when will you stop holding onto these childish grudges?’ Also, an ‘I’m sorry’ or two wouldn’t go amiss.”
Conleth shot him yet another glare. “I’m not apologizing to Callum.”
“What is it with my brothers and the words ‘I’m sorry?’” Connor asked the world in general. “I mean, it’s not that hard to say. I do it all the time. Admittedly, because I fuck up all the time.”
“Callum doesn’t have any problem apologizing,” Diana protested. “Not to me, at least.”
“Huh. That’s definitely not like the Callum that we know and love and frequently want to beat over the head with a whole frozen salmon.” Connor cocked an eyebrow, casting her a significant look. “You may want to think about that.”
Diana did, but it would have to wait. She turned back to Conleth. “I think you do owe Callum an apology. He’s told me what it was like, growing up with you two. You must have realized how hard it was for him before you were diagnosed and got the help you needed.”
For a second, Conleth’s jaw set in a stubborn line, like he was going to argue further. Then Beth toddled into him. He caught her as she lost her balance, swooping her into his lap. Beth giggled, and Conleth’s expression softened.
“I know,” he said quietly, hugging Beth. “But I didn’t want to. Because that would mean admitting that I was responsible for our estrangement. Not him. I wanted to believe that it was all Callum’s fault, that he didn’t work hard enough at trying to understand me.”
“Did you ever work at trying to understand him?”
“Why would I?” Conleth’s mouth twisted in bitter self-mockery. “Why should I have to work to have a relationship with my own brother? After all, I had one that I understood effortlessly.”
“That’s me,” Connor interjected cheerfully, as though Diana might not have realized this. “And if you think I’m bad, you really need to see Conleth off his meds. It’s epic. Remind me to tell you the apple story.”
“We do not speak of the apple story.” Conleth flung him an exasperated but clearly fond glance. “I had Connor, and Connor had me. But Callum didn’t have anyone who understood him like that. To be honest, I don’t know if I’ll ever understand him. But I…I want to try. I just wish he would let me.”
“Again, magic words,” Connor put in. “‘I’m sorry.’ Try it sometime.”
“Have you ever apologized to Callum?” Diana asked him, curious.
“Me? Fuck yeah. All the time.” Connor shrugged. “Problem is, he knows I’m going to have to say it again five minutes later. I should probably just have it playing constantly on a repeating loop, like a personal soundtrack. Maybe with some dubstep, too. Or bagpipes!”
“Congratulations, brother mine,” Conleth said dryly. “You have achieved the miraculous feat of working out how to make yourself even more annoying.”
Connor polished his fingernails on his shirt and inspected them, modestly. “It’s a gift.”
“There’s still something I don’t understand,” Diana said. “Conleth, if you’re so keen to try to repair the rift between you and Callum, why do you still help Connor pull pranks on him? You were there, at the charity bachelor auction. You could have stopped Connor.”
“Well, to be fair, no one can stop me,” Connor said. “Believe me, many have tried.”
Conleth snorted. “No, Diana’s right. I could have stopped you, or at least not helped. I did lure Callum to L.A. for you.”
“Why did you do that?” Diana asked him.
“Because at least then I could see him.” Conleth’s voice dropped, softening. “And…because it was like old times. Connor calling me up with this terrible, awful, hilarious idea, wanting my help…”
He trailed off into silence. Diana looked at him, the harsh, lonely lines of his face, and realized something.
“It’s not just Callum that you miss, is it?” she said. “It’s Connor as well. He’s gone most of the time too, since he’s a smokejumper. And you miss him.”
“Huh?” Connor said. He laughed, as if the very idea was ridiculous. “Naw. People are actively grateful when I’m not present. Nobody misses me. Especially not Conleth. Do you?”
Conleth avoided his brother’s eyes. He nodded, just the barest movement, as if even that tiny admission was something shameful.
Connor looked startled. “Hey. What? Really? You miss having me around?”
“Of course I do,” Conleth said testily, all traces of vulnerability disappearing again. “Idiot.”
“Well, you could have said.” Connor punched his brother in the shoulder, not at all gently. “Idiot yourself.”
Conleth shoved him in return, just as hard. “Why? It’s not like you could do anything about it. You love smokejumping. What was I going to do, ask you to give it up? Move back to England and spend your time analyzing profit-loss pivot tables with me instead?”
“Well, when you put it like that…” Connor shuddered theatrically. “Not a chance. I love you, but not that much.”
“Conleth,” Diana said. “Callum loves his work just as much as Connor does.”
Conleth stared down at Beth. “I know. And you’re his mate. You can’t leave him.”
He said it so simply, as if it was blatantly obvious. And it was true, Diana realized. She couldn’t live with this hollowness in her chest, the silence at her side where Callum should be.
Not even for Beth.
“I’m sorry, Conleth.” She put a hand on his, squeezing it. “I promise, we’ll work something out. You’re still Beth’s father, and I want you to be present in her life as much as you want to be. But I can’t come to England with you.”
Conleth’s shoulders slumped, but he nodded. “I should never have asked you to. I shouldn’t have tried to manipulate you like that, or Callum. I’m sorry.”
“See?” Connor exclaimed triumphantly. “I told you it wasn’t that hard. You really are a goddess, Diana. I’d ask you to marry me and have my babies, but even I can tell that would be a bad idea. There’s enough confusion in the father-uncle area as it is.”
Diana winced. “Oh God, that’s still a mess. I feel like I should be on one of those trashy TV shows where they do paternity tests live on air and everyone screams and throws things.”
Conleth sighed heavily. “Much as I want to be a father, I admit it would be a lot simpler if I really was just Beth’s uncle.”
“I still can’t believe your pegasus didn’t stop you,” Connor agreed. “Even mine had enough sense to do that.”
“Mine was yelling at me that it was a bad idea while I was just kissing Diana in the elevator.” Conleth rubbed his forehead. “It’s still yelling at me. It knows I’m not your mate, so it doesn’t believe I can possibly be Beth’s father. Despite all the evidence.”
“That’s weird,” Diana said. “Because Callum said his pegasus did insist that he was the father. But that’s impossible.”
“Holy fuck,” Connor said. He suddenly looked excited. “Conleth, you said you don’t remember Diana coming back into your room, right?”
Conleth gave him a pained look. “Do we have to dredge through the awful night again?”
“Yes. Definitely.” Connor bounced on his toes, as though he couldn’t contain himself any longer. “Think about it. What hotel room
were you in?”
“667,” Conleth said promptly.
“No you weren’t,” Diana corrected. “It was 666. I remember seeing it as I fled in the morning.”
Conleth shook his head firmly. “No, it was definitely 667. I booked the rooms myself. Connor was in 665, and Callum…”
He stopped dead. They stared at each other, wide-eyed.
“Callum was in 666,” Conleth finished in a whisper. “You’re really sure?”
“Completely,” Diana replied, her mouth dry. “It’s not the sort of number you forget. I remember at the time thinking that I should have known it was a bad omen.”
“You said you started back to the elevator after taking Conleth to his hotel room, but then changed your mind and turned around,” Connor said, beaming. “You went to the wrong hotel room! You went to Callum’s room! Which means that Callum and Conleth’s inner animals are right. Callum is Beth’s father. You really did meet each other that night.”
Diana laughed in pure joy—and then caught her breath, as a bolt of pain lanced through her chest.
“Diana?” Suddenly the brothers were on each side of her, holding her up, wearing identical expressions of alarm. “Diana!”
“It’s Callum,” she gasped. The mate bond was a fiery beacon of distress in her soul, silently calling to her. “He’s in trouble.”
Chapter 28
“I got him for you.” The voice was rough, growling; the sound of a tough man trying to hide his fear. “I did what you wanted.”
Callum knew that voice from somewhere. It penetrated the fog of pain, raising him back to consciousness. Thick ropes bound him to a tree, the bark rough against his back.
Quiet, his pegasus whispered. Be still.
Memory came back, in a rush like a dam breaking. He’d been flying randomly, heartsick and hurting, until every wingbeat was an effort. He’d tried to focus only on the life forms all around, casting his senses out like a net in search of distraction. Every life had stabbed him like a sword, because it wasn’t Diana, wasn’t his mate. He’d welcomed every wound, throwing himself further open…