Identity Revealed: The Tue-Rah Chronicles

by Butler, J. M.

  "That still doesn't change the fact that I don't like you and I don't want you. What I do want is for you to get out of my head and out of my life."

  Naatos, to her surprise, was being remarkably calm. He continued to maintain strong eye contact, but he did not show signs of aggression as Amelia had expected. "Well, neither of those things are going to happen. Setting aside the fact that you must be present for the restoration of Eiram's Tue-Rah, you are my viskaro. Nothing can be done to change that now. And no matter where you go, I will hunt you down."

  There was certainly no coyness in that statement. Amelia stepped back for good measure. "Charming. But you'll have to find me first."

  Naatos's gaze hardened. "I will, Amelia. Rest assured, I will." He paused as if remembering something. Glancing at the ground, he took a deep breath and released it. "However, I will make another compromise with you. I realize you grew up among Awdawms. I also realize that it has likely affected what you want from a relationship. So, although I am confident that after you allow me to bed you that you will be more than satisfied, I will make this concession." He paused as if the offer troubled him. "You may take as many lovers as you choose so long as you accept one important condition."

  "Only one?" Amelia tilted her head, not expecting this turn.

  "You must allow me to kill them once I discover them."

  "What?" Amelia stared at him, shocked. "How is that different from how it is now?"

  "Because I will not punish you for being unfaithful. Ordinarily Vawtrian retribution extends to both parties, though it is sterner against the non-spouse. I will let you do so without repercussion." Naatos gave a firm nod at the end as if he had made a grand point. He watched her expectantly.

  "No! Just no." Amelia held up her hands, backing farther away. "Listen to me, Naatos. I don't agree that I'm your wife, but I'm not going to get other people killed over it. So take it from me. There is no one now. I never even wanted a relationship until I met Shon, and that is over. It hardly even began! It was a bad idea from the moment it popped into my head. And I don't plan on having any others. I will not be taking any lovers, all right?"

  The smile pulled at the edges of Naatos's mouth. "Then you accept you are mine?"

  "No. I accept you are an unreasonable homicidal despot who will murder anyone for whom I show any signs of romantic attachment. I accept that, but I also reject that it is my fault that you are the way you are. Your behavior is your responsibility. But I'm still not going to put other people at risk if I can help it."

  "That is a start. I look forward to when you accept me fully," Naatos said. "So that we are clear, I will not deny you when you desire me. That is customary within a Vawtrian marriage."

  "Ah-huh." Amelia nodded slowly. "I don't suppose that's a one-way set of expectations."

  Naatos chuckled. "Of course it's both ways. I make myself available to you when you desire me. You make yourself available to me when I desire you."

  "I see."

  "And with that said, I want you as soon as possible. Make it tonight, and I will be in an infinitely better mood. You can wear whatever you like since you won't be wearing it long."

  There had to be a better response than awkward silence, but Amelia's mind blanked. She pinched the inside of her arm hard. That did nothing but sting. Had Matthu woken up already? If so, maybe he could wake her up and get her out of here. "Yeah…" She eyed Naatos warily. "That won't happen."

  "If you tell me where you are, I will come for you. Or I can send WroOth, and we can let the anticipation build. You and he seem to get along well enough now."

  "As long as we're not trying to kill each other, you mean."

  "He never really tried to kill you, and he likes you far too much to try. Besides, he has his hopes set on nieces and nephews."

  "Well, of course, if you put it like that." Amelia pinched even harder. How did one wake up from a telepathic connection? "But honestly I think you'd be better served with adoption."

  "Adoption requires far more paperwork than copulation and is infinitely less pleasurable." Naatos strode out toward one of the other lines of tapestries. He appeared utterly at ease, his muscles relaxed and his gait slow. "Besides, there's the matter of blood and the New Neyeb."

  "Yes, I'm sure that’s quite important to you. But if your family has any children, it will not be through me. So sorry to disappoint you and WroOth and probably AaQar, but I will not be carrying your progeny."

  "You will."

  Amelia narrowed her eyes at him. "Are you threatening me, Naatos?"

  Naatos resumed pacing. "I'm seducing you."

  "Not very well." Amelia moved back farther, wracking her mind for some other way to wake up.

  "If this doesn't please you, tell me what you want."

  "I want you to give up the Tue-Rah and the Para bands and everything involved with this conquest."

  Naatos sighed, his frustration leaking through. "Let’s not talk politics, viskaro. You do not know how to negotiate."

  "It's not as if you've done much better," Amelia snapped.

  "From this point on, all I wish to discuss is us. What you want from me and what I want from you."

  "What do you mean 'what I want from you?' You mean what kind of person I want you to turn into so we can both have our fantasies fulfilled? I don't think so. Even if you could make yourself look like Shon, I wouldn't be interested."

  Naatos stiffened, and his eyebrow arched sharply. "When I feshtashoon you, it will be in this form." He gestured to himself. "Aside from the impossibility of intimate copulation in an alternate form, I would never choose to do such a thing. I am enough to satisfy you. Do you understand?"

  "I wasn't asking you to do that. My point was the opposite! It doesn't even matter what you look like." Amelia bumped into one of the tapestries. "It's the man underneath it all that I reject. I don't want you."

  "You will." Naatos looked annoyed.

  "You telling me that isn't going to make me want you, all right? The only way I am coming back to you and accepting you as my husband is if you give up the Tue-Rah—"

  Naatos waved his hand as if bored. "That will not happen. So dismiss it. What is fact is that I will not give up the Tue-Rah, and you are mine. Because you are mine, I will have you. The question is how do we get from this point to that one? So tell me what it is that you want. And I caution you to think of something else, because if you don't, I will hunt you down and drag you back."

  Amelia continued to back away, realizing that they were both moving in a circle now. "The Tue-Rah and your resignation from this despotism is the only thing I want. So, if you want me, you're going to have to make some changes."

  "Perhaps you're right on that point." Naatos stopped. A calm suffused him as he scanned the room. "Perhaps it was a mistake to ask you what you wanted. You might not even know yourself, and here I have the entirety of your mind at my fingertips. Let's see what my viskaro truly desires." Turning, he strode away as the tapestries continued to shift by in a constant stream.

  51

  The Girl Who Said No

  Matthu sat up slowly, putting his hand to his head. Sweat ran down the back of his neck and soaked his hair. His head pounded, but the pressure had vanished and his breaths came easier. But what a bizarre dream he had had. The things his mind cooked up under a fever. He shook his head and looked around.

  He was in a stone room he didn't recognize. It was furnished simply and seemed to be carved out of a mountain. There was no furniture other than his bed nor were there windows. Only two doors offered exits, one on the far side and one directly across from him. But they were closed, and he was alone.

  Rubbing the back of his neck, Matthu tried to remember how he got here. The last memory fuzzing through his mind was helping Shon and the Machat prepare for the rescue…and catching guaras?

  He pushed back the soft earth-tone blankets and shifted to get out of the bed. The ropes squeaked beneath the straw-filled mattress. As he moved his legs over the side,
he discovered a dark-haired figure collapsed on the floor, half under the bed. "Amelia?"

  She lay motionless, her face pressed to the ground. Her right hand was clenched around the necklace, and every so often her lips twitched as if she tried to say something.

  What had happened over the last few hours crashed in on Matthu with disturbing clarity. "Amelia!" He dropped beside her, turned her over, and shook her shoulders. She was stuck somewhere with Naatos. Not in his head, obviously. But somewhere! "Amelia, wake up!"

  Her head lolled back, her eyes pressed shut. She didn't even stir.

  "Amelia, Amelia!" He lifted his head. "Someone help! Come help me. She isn't waking up! Come on, Amelia. Wake up. Please! You've got to come back."

  "Wait, no!" Amelia ran after Naatos, brushing past several of the tapestries. "What do you think you're doing?"

  "You deleted your journal from the tablet, and you refuse to tell me what you want beyond the Tue-Rah and my becoming a farmer. Accurate insight into your psyche and your desires is essential, and I require it now." Naatos paused in front of a line of similar tapestries. He ran his hand along the edge of the red yarn. "Another one of you climbing? And there you are running. Running. More running. Studying. Studying. Ahhh, here you are attacking a weighted bag…with my name on it. Did that make you feel better, viskaro?"

  The heat intensified in Amelia's cheeks. "Naatos, just stop."

  "You do realize it's only a matter of time before our thoughts are joined. While there are techniques to hide one's thoughts, even from one's spouse, you don't know them. So everything inside and out will be laid bare. There can be no secrets between us." Naatos moved on. He picked up his pace. "There had to be something you wanted from a man when you were old enough to form those desires. Surely that was something that rubbed off onto you from the Awdawms at least. From what I recall, Awdawm girls are incessant in their prattling about the man they will mate with. Lynne had an entire list."

  "You know what." Amelia set her hands on her waist. "I did have a list. I wanted someone gentle, kind, and compassionate. Now get out of my memories!"

  Naatos paused long enough to eye her, a slight smile on his lips. "I think you only say that because you think I am none of those things. At least not naturally. But when it comes to you, I can be. And I will be. Once we get all of this resolved."

  "Naatos, you are not welcome here!" Amelia dug her fingernails into her palms with frustration. How could she make him leave? It was her mind! Why wasn't he leaving? There had to be something she was missing.

  Amelia halted. From this point, she could see dozens of tapestries. As row after row continued to slide by, she could see the expanse of her life and all that she had filled it with.

  Hours and hours of monotonous training, constant studies, perpetual denial of any other interests or desires unrelated to her destiny, an obsession that had robbed her of so many opportunities. And then it seemed as if there weren't only images of what she had done but faint images of what she might have done. All of that time and yet she had still struggled so hard for even a marginal success. A life of discipline, or was it obsession?

  Regrets flooded through Amelia's soul, crushing her. It all seemed so worthless now. Despite all that time, she had achieved no real advantage. There were so many things she could have done and yet she would have still been as prepared as she was now.

  Tears stung her eyes. Reaching up, Amelia wiped the back of her hand under her lashes. What was happening? She couldn't break down like this. She struggled to thrust the emotions away and looked for Naatos.

  He was a few yards ahead, but he had stopped, staring intently at one tapestry in particular. Coming up behind him, Amelia stopped again. No, she thought. Any memory but that.

  "Please leave my memories," she said again, softer this time. "You can't hear anything anyway."

  Naatos glanced back at her. "Yes you can. You just have to focus."

  That had been a weak lie. Of course he would have known the truth. Amelia couldn't stop herself from looking at the tapestry. The horrible scene had already started playing out.

  She saw herself running out to the cornfield. It was her birthday. Her sixteenth birthday. Even if she hadn't remembered how excited and convinced she was that this was the day on which the Tue-Rah would take her back, it was evident from the expression on the tapestry Amelia's face. She wore military fatigues and had a large backpack filled with supplies, her gun and daggers strapped to her thighs and side. Her long hair was twisted back in a ponytail and secured under a snug fitting cap. She went and stood proudly at the approximate spot where the Tue-Rah had left her before.

  Uncle Joe followed her out to the field, much slower. At the time, Amelia hadn't seen the heavy expression on his face. Seeing it now hurt. She had been so focused that she hadn't thought much about how it was affecting him. Especially not now.

  "Amelia, honey, come back," he said, stopping at the edge of the field.

  The tapestry Amelia turned and set her hands on her belt. "Don't call me that. I'm not Amelia. I'm Inale, and today I'm going back."

  "Ame—Inale, there's no reason to think that." Uncle Joe placed his hands on her shoulders, looking into her eyes. "And even if the Tue-Rah did take you, it wouldn't matter whether you were here or whether you were doing something else."

  "I have to be ready for it! I'm going to go back and save my family. Won't that make Elonumato happy?" Amelia stepped back from Uncle Joe, her eyes shining. "This is what it's all about! I was sent here so I could get ready. I'm ready."

  "You are as ready as we can make you, but, Amelia, we have no more information than we did when we started. And your life isn't just about the Tue-Rah."

  "What else could it be about? I can't have fun here while everyone else is suffering. Who knows what Naatos has done to them while I've been gone?"

  "Elonumato will send you back when the time is right."

  "Yes, when I'm ready. I wasn't ready when I was five, but I'm ready now. I've been working so hard! I'm worthy. I really am, and I'm not a monster. I can save them. I want to see my family again. I want to be the princess again, and this time I won't have to be locked up. They won't be afraid of me anymore because I'll have saved them."

  Uncle Joe sighed.

  It was so obvious now. Amelia wondered why she couldn't see how much she had burdened him when she was a teenager. That look on his face…that fear and sadness. But to her sixteen-year-old self, none of those signs existed.

  "Honey," Uncle Joe said. "There's a very good chance that when you do go back, you aren't going to live past the end of your mission. And even if you could, you need to enjoy what opportunities you can. You have been diligent. You have prepared. But you have to accept that you are here, and you may remain here for many years more." He lowered his head so that he could see her eyes better. "Even warriors take breaks. Life is meant to be lived. Now come back inside. Change your clothes. We'll go get some pizza. Maybe see a movie. It's your birthday, we should celebrate."

  The Amelia in the tapestry looked at Uncle Joe with a confused expression. "I can't do that. I have to be here. I have to be ready."

  The tapestry Amelia and Uncle Joe continued to argue. At that time, she had been bewildered by Uncle Joe's statements. They were only now sinking in. Perhaps it was the fact that her elmis were now uncovered, or maybe it was simply being older that made it easier to see. She recalled her last conversation with him in the kitchen. It was the same old conversation, and even then she had been unable to grasp the importance of what he had said. She'd disregarded his words as if they meant nothing.

  A lump lodged in her throat. All she had done had been for nothing. The little advantages her training gave appeared to be nothing compared to the great swathes of impossibility before her.

  "It seems you haven't changed since you were a child," Naatos said.

  Amelia glanced at him, hoping that he would perhaps tire of this and leave. But he remained there, firmly planted in front of it. "Naat
os." She plucked at his sleeve. "Please…come away from this one."

  Naatos's eyebrow lifted slightly as he glanced at her. "You realize that this only intrigues me all the more."

  "You claim to have feelings for me. Can't you show it, at least a little?" It felt even worse to be asking Naatos for a favor, yet those words barely stung compared to the thought of him seeing this. She pulled at his arm again. "Please."

  "Even more curious." Naatos turned his attention back to the tapestry.

  In the tapestry, time had passed. It seemed to be skipping forward. Uncle Joe had left her out in the field after telling her she was welcome to change her mind whenever she wanted. That he would be waiting. Oh, but she stayed.

  She stayed out there all day. Sometimes sitting. Sometimes standing. Often staring up into the sky beneath the hot summer sun. Biting her lip and holding her breath from time to time as she waited.

  And as the hours passed and the shadows shortened and then lengthened, the tapestry Amelia gradually grew dejected. She became nervous, glancing all around, tugging at her backpack straps, plucking at the corn stubble in the fallow field. At last the sun set, and darkness settled. The moon rose slowly in the sky.

  Amelia remembered that night so well. It had smelled like dirt, fresh mown grass, and the slightest hint of burning wood. The lightning bugs winked among the waving grass as the cicadas hummed. An owl called out to its mate, soft and cooing like a lullaby. But there was no comfort for her on that night. At intervals, a great blue heron shrieked. A calm and quiet Indiana night.

  Though Uncle Joe came out one more time to try to convince her to return, she refused. She had been convinced that this was nothing more than a test. She had to stay out in that field. She had to wait. She had to prove to Elonumato that she was ready. She might be cursed, but she could do good. And so she waited.

  The night became colder. The tapestry Amelia at last consigned herself to sitting, hugging her knees to her chest and staring out past the moon.