by Andi Jaxon
The need to be in his mouth, pushing the limits of his gag reflex, has my language cut to one-word commands. Ben’s mouth opens, and he leans forward, enveloping the purple head with wet heat. My hand drops away as his takes over, working in tandem with his mouth to create a rotating, hot suction.
My eyelids want to close, but I refuse to give in, I need to watch every second of Ben pleasuring me. His eyes are on mine, molten, driven to insanity by the power he has over me. My balls draw up tight, the tingle at my spine intensifies, and my hand reaches for his hair. “I’m gonna cum.” Those three words are the only warning he gets, approximately half a second before hot jets shoot down his throat. The power of my orgasm has me leaning a hand against the dresser, knees wobbling when Ben’s strokes become lazy and his other hand cups my balls.
My eyes finally win over and close, as I tremble and try to keep my knees from giving out. “Fuck.”
“That was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen, ever been a part of.” Awe softens his voice and makes me chuckle.
“I’m happy to be your plaything again, anytime. That was amazing. Thank you.”
Ben stands, puts my half hard dick back into my pants, then zips and buttons me. I’m still leaning against the dresser, afraid my legs won’t hold my weight. He kisses my breastbone, licks one nipple and bites the other, sucks his way up my neck, before ravaging my mouth. Blood once again heads to my groin, and heat fires my veins. Standing up straight, I tangle both hands in his hair, pulling him up against me. “You’re playing a dangerous game. I haven’t missed family dinner in years, but I will, just to fuck you into oblivion.”
He chuckles, licking his lower lip. “Are you sure you can get it up again? It’s pretty quick for a man your age.”
My eyes widen in shock. “Did you just crack an age joke? Are you saying I can’t keep up with your twenty-year-old sex drive? It will be my pleasure to prove you wrong.” My voice is rough like I’ve smoked a pack a day all my life.
Goosebumps erupt over Ben’s skin, and a shaky breath leaves him, telling me just how much he likes it when I get a little alpha. Never in my life have I wanted to dominate or control anyone, but I’m finding this a huge turn on right now. I want to prove myself to him. I want to show him he can trust me, that I won’t ever hurt him. I’m so grateful he’s chosen to explore his sexuality with me, and I’m beyond honored.
“When do you need to leave?” Ben’s voice brings my attention back to the present. Glancing at the clock, I mutter under my breath and grab a t-shirt from the drawer.
Pulling it over my head, I kiss him again, shove my arms through the holes, and tuck it in. “I need to head out. Are you sure you’ll be okay? I can tell my family I can’t come tonight.”
Ben shakes his head. “No, I’ll be fine. I’m going to do some homework. My calculus teacher is really riding me hard.”
With a wink and a knowing smirk, I cross to him again. “Oh, you have no idea how much harder I could ride you.” Using my grip on his hips, I spin him to face the mirror and grind against his ass.
His face and neck flush, and I can’t hold back the laugh bubbling in my chest. “God, you’re fun to fuck with. So easily riled up.” I take a step back, then head out of the room. If I’m going to make it on time, I need to get going. I pull on a jacket, a beanie, and slide my feet into my shoes by the front door. Ben has watched me get ready, I’m not used to it, but it doesn’t bother me either. Once I’m ready to go, my wallet, phone, and keys in hand, he approaches me, leaning in for a kiss. This kiss is soft, content, and full of promise.
“Drive safe.”
I smile at him. “Always. I’ll text you when I’m on my way back. Call or text me if you need help with your homework, or you get bored.”
Ben rolls his eyes at me. “I lived by myself for five years. I’ll be fine for a few hours.” Opening the door, he pushes me out and closes it behind me.
Chapter 35
Ben –
It’s weird to be here when Alister isn’t, since I’m basically a guest here. Before getting into my homework, I decided to clean up Kristen and my mess. It’s not fair to make Alister clean up when he wasn’t involved in making the mess to begin with. Grabbing the trash can and recycling from the kitchen, I set about putting the room to rights.
Empty water bottles have the lids removed and tossed in the recycling, pizza boxes get broken down and thrown in the trash. It’s not long before most of the mess is gone, and a few bottles needing to be dumped out are lined up on the counter by the sink. I fold the blankets and put my shoes by the door where Alister keeps his and scan the room. It’s such a nice place, so I hate to dirty it up. Content with my cleaning job, I empty the last water bottles and decide to take the trash and recycling down.
Snagging one of Alister’s sweaters, my key, and sliding my boots on, I grab the bags and head down to the main floor. The recycling and trash dumpsters are behind the building, but across the alleyway, so getting wet happens when it’s raining. Stepping out from under the awning, fat raindrops soak into the sweatshirt while I lift the trash dumpster lid and swing the bag in, doing the same with the recycling.
Turning to head back inside, the back door is closed, and my key won’t open it. I sprint out of the alley and into two familiar faces I never wanted to see again, the damn thugs from my old neighborhood. What the hell are they doing here?
“Well, well, well. Look who moved on up. How’s it going Benny boy?” The condescending tone puts me on edge, the smile full of malice turning my stomach to stone. I have to get out of here. If they corner me in the alley, I’m as good as dead. Keeping my mouth shut may help me, but it may make them angrier since I’m not rising to the bait. These two are volatile at best, stupid and violent at worst.
Being a Thursday evening, the street isn’t busy, and the rush of people going home is over, leaving me very few options. I know I can’t fight them and win, my phone is upstairs, and the only door I can get to is locked.
“North Face? How did you afford that?” short, fat thug asks, a sneer on his face.
“Probably by taking it up the ass,” tall, fat thug says, both of them cracking up. “I heard you liked it. You selling yourself now?”
I refuse to respond. It will only be worse if I do. Just wait for them to get bored and move on.
“Hey!” tall one yells, startling a jump from me. “I asked you a fucking question, faggot.”
Don’t respond. Don’t respond. Don’t respond.
They both take a step closer, shutting down my escape routes. My eyes flick back and forth, looking for anything I can use as a weapon or a way to escape. Since I’m in a nice part of town, the street is mostly clear of debris, leaving me helpless.
Damn thugs keep moving toward me, forcing me back into the darkened alley, lessening my chances of survival with every step. I’m halfway to the dumpsters when the back door opens, and a surprised woman stands there in a bathrobe, holding a bag of trash. Using the distraction to my advantage, I bolt for the door, running as fast as I can. Grabbing the lady’s hand, I pull her inside and slam the door shut just as my would-be attackers get close.
Doubled over, breathing hard, I lean against the hallway for a moment before a delicate hand touches my shoulder. “Are you okay?”
My breathing is too labored to speak, so I nod yes and take a few more deep breathes. “Thank you. You may have just saved my life.”
She looks panicked for a moment, her hand flying to her heart. “Do I need to call the police?”
“No, they didn’t do anything besides threaten me. But I would wait to throw your trash out, because they may be waiting by the door.” She nods her head and follows me to the elevator. “I’m Clara, by the way. I live in 2B.”
“I’m Ben, and I’m just staying with a friend for a few days in 3F.” She smiles at me as if my pathetic life hadn’t just flashed before my eyes. The elevator arrives, we select our floors, and the ride is silent. She waves when she gets off on her floor, and I
lean back against the railing. The doors open on the third floor and I head back to the apartment, locking and deadbolting the door when I get inside. Finally, able to release the fear, I collapse on the floor in the entryway, hyperventilating.
My heart is pounding painfully against my ribs, my breathing out of control, and my head is screaming. I curl into a ball which has always brought me comfort. With my arms wrapped tight around my knees, my breathing begins to slow. It takes a while to get my mind out of the fight or flight response, but the lingering scent of Alister is helping me calm.
Eventually, I make it up off the floor and into the bedroom where his scent is the strongest. Laying on the bed, I pull his pillow to my chest and curl my body around it. I’m safe. I’m safe. I am safe…
Hours later, I’m woken when Alister slides against my back, kissing my neck and rubbing my chest. I’m still curled around his pillow, inhaling his cologne while I slept.
“I’m definitely ready for dessert,” Alister whispers in my ear, nipping at the lobe and sucking on it. I gasp in surprise, the electric shot shooting straight to my dick. I want to feel every inch of him against me, skin-to-skin. I need him. It wasn’t until right now that I realized exactly how much. Stretching out, my ass pushes against the bulge in his jeans, his appreciative groan reverberating down my spine.
With my arm reaching behind me, I grab a fistful of his hair and arch into him. “Fuck me,” I groan out, his hand sliding inside my boxers. “Make me yours.”
For only a second, Alister freezes, and then jumps into action, pulling at our clothes. “Off, pants off.” My pants and boxers easily slide off, bunching at the foot of the bed with my shirt quickly joining. Rolling toward him, I help Alister lose his clothes, eager hands making quick work of it. Reaching for the bedside table, the top drawer opens and closes quickly. My eyes meet his, and my breath catches in my throat.
Alister climbs back on the bed and claims my lips, demanding entrance to my mouth. He’s owning me, possessing me, at this moment and I bask in it. To be needed this urgently is something I’ve never experienced, but I want more of it. With a hand on my hip, he rolls me so my back is to him once again. Chest to my back, his hand slides down my leg and pulls my knee to hook over his, spreading my thighs for him. Lube covered fingers slide against my hole, the anticipation of pleasure making me tense.
“Relax babe. We’ll get to the good stuff in just a minute.” The growl of Alister’s voice has precum forming on my tip. I take a deep breath and relax, and one finger pushes into me, quickly followed by a second. Even the lazy pumps of his fingers have me ready to cum, aching to feel him inside me again.
“Please,” I beg, my voice a whimper.
Alister chuckles in my ear and adjusts the angle of our hips to line up his cock. “Do you want my cock?”
“Yes!”
His hardness pushes into me, a steady thrust until he’s fully seated, both of us groaning at the tight fit. “Don’t stop.” My body needs to be worn out, fucked hard. He doesn’t question me, just does what I asked. He gives me only a few slow thrusts before he picks up speed, his hips soon slapping against my ass over and over. My back arches, my dick aches, and my balls draw up tight, ready to explode. The orgasm is about to overtake me, my mind spinning out of control, and my body tightening around Alister as he slams into me. The world goes white and silent when the orgasm hits, my arms flying out to find something to hold on to. Jets of cum shoot onto my stomach and the bed, forcing Alister to cum with me. His hips slapping against mine, forcing my body to take what he’s giving.
My mind crashes back into my body, and I’m left gasping for air, sweaty, and trembling. Behind me, Alister is panting with his forehead against my shoulder. A smile tugs at my lips, I love that I do this to him, that he wants me this badly. This beautiful, perfect man wants me, the worthless, unlovable orphan.
We lay in the bed for a few long moments, relearning how to breathe, with his arm slung over my waist. He presses soft kisses between my shoulder blades, the hair of his beard tickling my skin and raising goosebumps.
“Let’s take a shower. You’re a mess.”
“It’s your fault,” I grumble into the blankets.
“I’ll accept the blame since it was fucking amazing.” He rolls away from me and walks to the bathroom to start the hot water. When he comes back to the bed, and I’m still laying in a pool of my own cum, he swats my ass and makes me jump. “Come on. We have to change the sheets too.”
Forcing my body to move, I follow behind him, letting him blindly lead me into the unknown.
Chapter 36
Alister –
Thursday night dinner was exactly as I had expected, my mother cooking something delicious, my father and Alex watching some sports event on TV, and Alex ribbing me about Ben. Mom gave me a pass for not bringing him this week since he had been sick, but I was forced to promise he would join us next week. Hopefully, I can convince Ben to join us.
Coming home to find Ben fast asleep, wrapped around my pillow, made my heart pound. He’s starting to feel safe here, at least subconsciously, and it couldn’t make me happier. When I slid onto the bed behind him, and he asked me to fuck him, to claim him, I was shocked, but all too happy to oblige. The more I’m around him, the more I can see how painful his past was. And the fact that he trusts me with his body is mind-blowing, I will do everything I can to never break his trust. He doesn’t give it often. I’m pretty sure Kristen is the only other person he trusts, and I’m happy to earn it. I want to earn it, to work for it.
It’s sometime around midnight now, Ben is asleep next to me, but my mind won’t quit. Tonight keeps playing in my head. The sex was better than anything I’ve ever experienced. Not only did it blow the top of my head off, but there was a deeper connection, an emotional one. Ben asked for what he needed.
The thought has me pausing. Ben asked for what he needed. That’s huge. My heartbeat increases and a smile lifts my lips, he trusts me. I’ve never wanted anyone’s trust like I need his. I crave it. I think I’m falling for him, hard. Irrevocably. Head over heels.
A whimper and jerk have me looking at Ben. His face is contorted in pain and fear—he’s having a nightmare. Moving to cradle him to my chest, I wrap my arms around him and whisper in his ear, “It’s okay. I’ve got you.” Over and over, my hand rubbing big circles on his back as he fights the demons in his head. He’s starting to shake and fight against my hold, muttering “no” and “get off.”
Grasping his shoulders, I shake him. “Ben, wake up.”
He fights me harder, swinging his arms and kicking at the blankets. “Ben! Wake up!” I shake him harder. Suddenly a blood-curdling scream leaves his mouth, and he jerks awake, sweaty and panting. His eyes are crazed, fear racing through his body as he looks for the threat.
“Ben, you’re okay. It was just a bad dream.” His eyes find mine in the darkened room and tears fall from his lashes. He takes a deep breath, and a sob racks his body when he curls into me. His arms wrap around me and hold so tight it’s hard to breathe, and his fingers are digging into my skin. His face is against the crook of my neck, my beard is probably scratching his temple, but he doesn’t seem to care. My leg wraps around his hip, and my arms are around his shoulders, holding him just as tightly as he’s holding me.
In this moment of vulnerability, pain, and fear, he reached for me. I close my eyes and just hold him, let him work past the nightmare.
“It’s not just a dream.” His voice is so soft, I’m almost not sure I heard him.
“Memory?”
“Yes.” His mouth moves against my skin, hot breath, and sandpaper from his five o’clock shadow scraping my flesh.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Keeping my heart rate calm and the quiver out of my voice is hard if his nightmares are memories, I can only imagine how bad they are. Ben is the strongest man I’ve ever met, still carrying on after what he’s gone through, he’s such a sweet person. He doesn’t take his hardships out on other
people, doesn’t belittle others to make himself feel better. He’s a better man than most.
“The man I lived with for most of my life was strict. Punishments were harsh to ensure I didn’t make the same mistake again.” He shuffles around, his arms relax some, but his voice is devoid of emotion.
“He wasn’t above corporal punishment. A leather belt was his favorite device, but I was well acquainted with a wooden paddle too. The worst was when I was left to freeze and starve.” His voice never raises, and there’s no inflection like he’s telling a story about someone else. I was never open hand spanked, I can’t wrap my brain around a belt or paddle, but freezing? Starving?
“For days, I would sit in my room with no heat, no blanket, and no clothes. It didn’t matter what time of year. My fingers and toes would turn purple and blue. If I did something bad enough, he would come in with the belt after my skin was icy. The sting was so much worse…” He trails off, tears running down my chest as he stops. The lump in my throat makes swallowing hard and I don’t have words for him.
He’s quiet for a few minutes, done talking for now. My fingers run through his shaggy hair and cup the back of his head. Tipping his head back, he finds my eyes, his full of torment and shame.
“It’s not your fault, Ben. It’s not your fault.” More tears hit my skin, and trail down his face as I lean in to kiss him. A soft brushing of lips against lips while we hold each other, both needing the comfort and reassurance of the other. His lips are a little salty from his tears, but it makes this kiss mean more. There’s nothing sexual about it, just reaffirming we’re here, together.
***
It’s been about a month since Ben’s nightmare and midnight confession. We’ve fallen into an easy routine. In the mornings he has class, and I drive to campus, so we don’t leave at the same time or get seen walking together. The other days, we have lunch together before he goes to class. I make coffee and breakfast every morning, and he makes me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch on the days we don’t eat together, then we make dinner together. He’s getting pretty good at chopping, but hasn’t made it to actual cooking yet. Tomorrow, he’s going to Thanksgiving dinner with me at my parents’ house. I am both excited for him to meet my parents and terrified of what Alex is going to say.
