by Andi Jaxon
A knock on my office door is not unexpected. “Come in.”
The door opens, a black hoodie peeks through the opening and obsidian eyes meet mine. A smile tugs at my mouth, just the same as it does every time I see him. “Hey, stranger.”
He smiles when he comes in and shuts the door behind him, leaning over my desk for a kiss that’s not nearly enough. With a sigh and a smirk, he drops down onto the chair, his backpack at his feet.
“Are you ready for the test today?” I ask him, peering around my coffee mug.
He rolls his eyes and scoffs at me. “Depends. Does the test have the same types of questions as the homework and practice test?”
I shrug. “We’ll see.”
“You’re kind of a jerk. Do you know that?” The more time we spend together, the more he teases me. I love every second of it.
“I may have been told that once or twice.”
“Well, third times the charm, right?”
Shaking my head at him, I give him what he has come to call, the teacher eye. “Don’t you have studying to do?”
Ben stands with a flourish, and his fingertips against his chest reminds me of a debutant. He tells me, with the voice of a woman, “Why, yes I do, professor.” Then spins and bends at the hip to get into his backpack. His ass is in my direct line of sight, cupped perfectly by his faded black jeans. When he looks at me over his shoulder and flips his hair out of his face, I’m done for. Leaning forward over my desk, I glide my hand up his inner thigh to cup him.
I’m impressed he stays in character, fake voice and all. “Professor, that’s so inappropriate. What will the Dean say?” His words say no, albeit in a fake voice, but his body pushes into my hand. Ben’s eyes close and he bites his lower lip. I grip his shaft through the rough fabric and smack his ass with the other, he jumps from the suddenness but moans when I rub the sting away.
A loud laugh in the hallway has me snatching my hands back and running my fingers through my hair. Ben drops to a crouch at the same time, and we both let out a breath. We need to be more careful. Someone could walk in at any time.
Chapter 37
Ben –
Being able to play around, joke, and relax with Alister has been amazing. I finally feel like I’m living, not just surviving. I smile and laugh. We cuddle, talk, kiss, then fall asleep wrapped around each other. It’s hard to believe people live their entire lives feeling like this, like things are going to be okay. For the first time in my life, I have hope. I want to know what the future will hold.
However, tomorrow is Thanksgiving, and I’m meeting his family. I’ve seen Alex, but I’ve never talked to him or looked him in the eye. But parents? The only parents I’ve met were Kristen’s and her father despised me the second he saw me. What if Alister’s parents hate me? Will he change his mind about me and kick me out of his apartment? What if I don’t fit in with them? He’s from an upper middle class family. I don’t own clothes without holes in them which have nothing to do with fashion. Since I moved into Alister’s, I’ve been wearing one of his North Face jackets over my sweatshirt to stay warm.
The calculus test sucked, but I’m pretty sure I passed it, at least I hope I did. Since staying with Alister, my grade has improved, along with my understanding of the material, but it’s still as fun as pulling teeth. I do not understand how he teaches this shit for fun. Once I’m done, I head back to his office to wait for him, letting myself in with the key he gave me. I’m pretty sure he can get in trouble for making copies of his office key, but what the school doesn’t know won’t get him in trouble.
At his office, I’m unlocking the door when someone hollers at me. Surprised, I spin around and look for the person who yelled.
“What do you think you’re doing?” A well-dressed, grey-haired man with a pinched face asks me, arms crossed over his chest.
“Professor Bennet asked me to grab something from his office.” The lie flies out before I’ve had time to think of a story.
“He just gave you his keys?”
My stomach is in knots, and I’m ready to throw up. “Yes.”
“Give me those keys. We’ll be going to give Professor Bennet a little visit.” He holds his hand out expectantly.
“Can I grab the papers he asked for first?”
The man narrows his eyes and glares at me. I’m not sure what is going to happen, but I need to make this look as real as possible. “Fine, but I’m going in with you.”
“Okay.” I finish unlocking and opening the door, stepping inside and reaching for the stack of papers on his desk. I have no idea which class these are for, but it’s the only thing I’ve got. “Got it,” I say, lifting the stack to show the angry man in the doorway. Locking the door behind me, I hand over my keys and wait for him to check the door. He looks at the keys in his hand for a moment, and I hold my breath. All that’s on the key ring is the apartment keys, the office key, and an ‘I heart math’ key chain Alister found for me.
Pocketing the keys, he turns and storms down the hallway, leaving me to trail after him. The closer we get to the classroom, the more nervous I get. My hands are trembling, the knots in my stomach are so tight it hurts, and I am about ten seconds from chucking my lunch into a trash can.
The door to the classroom is in sight. I’m praying to a deity I’ve never believed in that it doesn’t open. The grumpy man reaches for the door, and it swings open, Alister abruptly stops to avoid hitting him.
“Mr. Rockwell, to what do I owe this pleasure?” I can see he’s struggling to keep the surprise and fear off his face when his eyes flick to mine.
“I found this student getting into your office. He claims you gave him your keys.” He holds up the keyring to show Alister, who reaches out and takes them. Before he can say anything, I step forward and push the stack of papers at Alister.
“Here’s the stack of papers you asked for, Professor.” The words are tumbling from my lips faster than normal.
“Thank you, Ben. You’ve saved me a trip. Have a good night. I’ll see you next week.” He smiles a tight-lipped, nervous smile, and dismisses me. In a rush to leave, I all but run in the opposite direction.
All the way back to the apartment, I hustle. Frustrated for being scared, angry I have to lie to get through life. I’m almost to the building when something snags my backpack, catching my immediate attention and pulling me off balance. Falling into an alley, I barely catch myself on a dumpster that smells like it’s had better days. Turning to look at the entrance of the alley, I see the thugs from my neighborhood blocking my exit. I had a feeling they wouldn’t let it go, that they would be back. These damn wanna be thugs cause more damage than actual gangs.
“Hey, faggot,” the one in the center says, taking a step forward. Fuck. “We’re just here to remind you where you come from. Butt fuckers like you, you don’t deserve to be happy or live in nice places.”
Don’t be a smart-ass. Don’t be a smart-ass. Don’t be a smart-ass.
My mantra continues to run through my head, but I am sick and tired of life using me as a punching bag, giving me something amazing then ripping it from my fingers. I’m sick of hiding in the background and still getting the shit kicked out of me. I’m tired of being scared all the goddamn time. The way I see it, I’m going to get fucked up no matter what I do, so I might as well say what I want.
“You really are as stupid as you look.” The words fly out of my mouth before my brain has a chance to catch them.
“What the fuck did you say to me, you fucking faggot? You think you’re better than me?” He takes a few more steps toward me, not leaving me room to escape. Fuck it. I may as well earn the ass whooping I’m about to get.
“Yeah, I do think I’m better than you. If this is all you aspire to be, a wannabe thug, getting into trouble, doing time for petty crimes. You’re pathetic. You can’t even beat up a half starved gay kid by yourself, so you gotta have your buddies for backup.”
That does it. He moves faster than I anticipated, an
d I get a sucker punch to my jaw, then a kidney shot in quick secession. Falling to my knees, he kicks me in the stomach with what feels like steel-toed boots and forces my arm behind my back until my shoulder pops. Pain is screaming through my body, bruises instantly forming on my skin. Screaming while puking with a dislocated shoulder has me choking on vomit. My entire body is throbbing as the assault continues. A hand grabs my hair and slams my head into the metal dumpster, making lights dance behind my eyelids. Another kick to the head and I’m out cold…
*****
A steady beeping is all I can hear and my head is pounding, so opening my eyes is not high on my priority list. There is no part of my body that doesn’t hurt in some form: aching, stabbing, and throbbing. It hurts to breathe. I can’t roll or shift without shooting pains stealing what little breath I have.
What the hell happened to me? Am I in a hospital? How long have I been here?
Thinking back to what I remember last, I remember the guys in my neighborhood cornering me in an alley behind Alister’s apartment building. They figured out I’m gay and I’m living in a better place, so I’m sure they will continue to fuck with me every chance they get. If they find a way inside, I’m sure they’ll stake it out, jump me in the hallway.
Slowly, my eyes open to slits. The first thing I see is my worst nightmare, Dan. How the fuck did he find me? The beeping on the machine next to me increases as my heart rate picks up.
A nurse comes in before a word is spoken between us. “Oh good, you’re awake!” She smiles at me, but my eyes don’t leave the wolf in sheep’s clothing standing at the end of my bed. At the computer, she goes over all my stats, checking my IV, and recording all my numbers. “How are you feeling?”
“Everything hurts.” My words are mumbled, my throat not wanting to work. I want pain meds to take the pain away, but I’m terrified of what he’ll do if I’m drugged up.
“On a scale of one to ten with ten being the worst pain you can imagine, how would you rate your pain right now?”
I close my eyes, leaning my head back against the plastic wrapped pillow, maybe he’s just a hallucination. “Everything hurts,” I repeat, my voice weaker than I expected. “My chest… hurts to breath… head is screaming… please, no lights.” Thinking past the pain is almost impossible. The lights are turned off and some of the pressure in my head lessons, a welcome relief follows.
“Thank you,” I mumble, my eyes still closed. Maybe Dan was just a nightmare…
“I’ll let the doctor know you’re awake, and he should be in to see you in just a few minutes.” The nurse’s steps are quiet on the tile as she leaves, the soft whoosh of the door closing behind her.
“You’re coming with me. Obviously, my lessons weren’t ingrained hard enough, so we’ll have to start again.” Malice drips from every word, bringing down dread heavy on my shoulders. I don’t have to open my eyes again to know he’s really here.
“How did you find me this time?” It hurts to talk, but I have to know.
The smile that comes over his face has ice flooding my veins. “I have friends in good places, and they keep me informed of your whereabouts. Did you really think I didn’t know where you were all this time?”
My body tightens as fear grabs hold of me. “I’m an adult. I don’t have to go anywhere with you.” The words are a whisper but no less true.
“I am responsible for your upbringing, and I won’t have you out in public acting like some queer. You will do as you’re told or deal with the consequences.”
I know what the consequences will be. Since I’m already hurt, and my body can’t take much more, it’ll be starvation and hypothermia. I don’t have anyone to call to protect me from him, just like when I was ten years old, I’m once again at his mercy.
Chapter 38
Alister –
When I saw Ben with the Dean of Science and Engineering, my heart stopped. I thought for sure we were caught, and I was on my way to getting fired. I have to admit I was impressed with Ben’s story. It was quick thinking on his part, though it earned me a stern talking to about giving my office keys to a student.
I hurry home as soon as I’m done getting chastised since I have Ben’s keys. It’s cold outside, and I don’t want him to freeze. I notice some kind of commotion in the alley behind the building but ignore it. Sometimes homeless people camp out back there to try to stay out of the wind. Ben isn’t outside when I get to the door, but maybe one of the neighbors let him in since it’s cold and windy, someone may have recognized him over the last week. When the elevator opens on my floor, he’s not here either. Where the hell is he?
Unlocking the front door, I call his name, hoping by some miracle he’s here, but I get no response. Looking through the rooms, it’s obvious he hasn’t been here. Where would he have gone? Is he so afraid of meeting my parents he ran? He agreed to come, did I push him?
Pulling my phone from my pocket, I bring up his name and call him, but it goes straight to voicemail. I leave a short message asking him to call me and hang up. I’m starting to really worry, this isn’t like him. I don’t know where he lived so I can’t check there, I don’t have a number for Kristen, and I don’t want to worry her, the only other place I know of is the pool hall.
I do a Google search for the pool hall we met at and call the number.
“Ball Scratcher’s Pool Hall, this is Trisha, how can I help you?”
“Hi Trisha, my name is Alister, I was there a few weeks ago with a guy named Ben Wallace. Do you remember me by chance?” If she doesn’t remember me, I doubt she will give me any information.
“Oh, yeah, of course. What can I do for you?”
“Well, I’m trying to find Ben. You haven’t seen or heard from him today, have you? I just want to know if he’s okay.” God, I sound like a crazy ex.
“Oh. No, I haven’t. How long has he been missing?” Now she’s worried, those protective maternal instincts taking over.
“Just like an hour, I’m probably overreacting. We were supposed to meet up, and he hasn’t shown up, his phone went straight to voicemail. I’m sure he’s fine.”
She lets out a relieved breath. “Oh okay. I’m sure he’s fine, probably got caught up doing something.”
“Probably, but if you see or hear from him, can you just ask him to give me a call, please?”
“Sure, no problem.”
We say goodbye and hang up. I have a bad feeling something happened to him, but I don’t know what to do or where to look for him. Something happened to him, my gut is telling me so. What if he got lost on his way back? He could have been hit by a car and is lying in a ditch somewhere. Maybe he fell and broke his ankle, his backpack falling into water so his phone got wet. Someone kidnapped him and is going to murder him…
This is ridiculous. I’m sure he’s fine. He knows how to navigate the city, rarely does anyone get hit by a car when they’re walking on the sidewalk, and why would anyone want to kidnap him? He’s probably just at the library or something, and lost track of time.
Deciding I need to keep busy, I head to the kitchen and start making dinner. I’m sure he’ll be here anytime with a reasonable explanation. Pulling out the pot roast, onion, carrots, and potatoes, I get everything ready to go in the oven, pour the onion soup mix, gravy packet, and some beef brother over it all and place it in the oven. In an hour, it will be mouthwatering.
Without much else to do, I pull out the tests from today and get to grading. Before I know it, the buzzer for the oven is going off, and I have a stack of graded tests. What if something really did happen to him? I pull the roast out of the oven and try to call him again, but I’m sent straight to voicemail. It’s time to get ahold of Kristen.
On the laptop, I pull up Facebook and search for Kristen Collins. It doesn’t take me long to find the pretty blonde girl I met a few weeks ago. Clicking on her profile, I send her a message.
Hi Kristen, could you give me a call? Here’s my number…
Here’s hoping she ge
ts the message and calls me back. Leaning back against the couch, I run through everything that happened today. Did I do something to scare him off? Is he avoiding me?
My phone rings on the table with an unknown number, and I quickly answer it. “Hello?”
“Hi, Alister?”
“Yes, Kristen?”
“Yup. What’s up?” There’s a lot of background noise where she is, so it’s hard to hear her.
“Have you heard from Ben today?” The desperation in my voice is easy to hear, but I don’t care. I need to know he’s okay.
“Ben? Not in a few hours. Why?”
“I haven’t seen or heard from him in a few hours either. He should have been back from class before me, but he’s not. I called his phone, but it goes straight to voicemail. I’m starting to worry.”
“That is weird. Look, I’m at the airport on my way up there now. If you hear from him, send me a message, I’ll get it when I land, and if I don’t get a message from you, I’ll let you know when I get there. I’m sure he’s okay. He’s a survivor.” I don’t know if she really means it or is just trying to make me feel better, but I believe her.
“Thanks. I really appreciate it.”
“Any time, Teach.”
We hang up, and I head to the kitchen for food, suddenly it hits me I haven’t eaten since lunch, and I’m starving.
