Alien Aladdin

by Zara Zenia

  “Wait,” he said. “Where are you going?”

  “To escort my high-ranking prisoner in the transport to make sure he arrives safely at the SFPD house.”

  “You aren’t saying that we’d—”

  I whirled to face David. “What I’m saying is that in that van is the prince of an alien race who could toast all of Earth to the ground if they so choose. The Trilyn king may have permitted his capture, but we don’t know what game these Trilyn are playing, do we? Maybe they are looking for an excuse to toast Earth. They can’t claim we are a military threat, can they? But indignation toward the abuse of one of his sons? That’s a nice manufactured reason. Give humans all the rope we need to hang ourselves. I will not place my planet in jeopardy to some transport guards who may not understand the seriousness of the situation we face.”

  David stared at me in horror as I mouthed these impolitic words loudly enough for the drones to capture my words and now live-streamed to millions of homes.

  “Now, Cat, my men are not incompetent.”

  There. David slipped. His men. Not just David Davon, super geek and SFPD liaison. Who was he? What was his rank in ILE? What was his mission at the SFPD?

  This wasn’t the time to call him on this revelation. Akrawn was in an ILE transport, and I had to make sure he got to the station in one piece.

  “And,” David continued and at sufficient volume for the drones to hear, “the ILE concluded the Trilyn have no ill intentions toward Earth.”

  I huffed. “You know what they say. If you want something done right, do it yourself. See you at the station house.” I gave him a look that communicated we’d better end up at that station house. With the media drones hovering and taking video of the whole scene, the ILE couldn’t claim that I didn’t climb into that transport.

  I pulled myself inside from the handrails on the side and sat on the hard steel bench opposite Akrawn. Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted David. He wore a sour expression on his face as if he just sucked a lemon. Akrawn gave me sexy-as-hell smirk.

  He rattled his metal handcuffs and smiled at me with a mischievous glint in his eye. “Is this where you interrogate me with human sex torture techniques and make me beg you to stop? Is that not how humans play binding games?”

  The drones had swiveled to capture our interaction, and I blushed again, damn it.

  “We do not question our prisoners with sex torture,” I said primly.

  Akrawn sighed. “How disappointing,” he replied. “We must remedy that.”

  Chapter 13

  Akrawn

  I teased my Cat with suggestive talk and charmingly, she grew more flustered as the van sped toward SFPD headquarters. The ILE agent David Davon climbed in the vehicle, and I disliked it because David believed he needed to protect Cat from me. But I knew I must play along and let this David guy think that Cat meant nothing to me. I didn’t want to expose Cat to the censorship of her employers.

  David pretended to peer at his AI, but he cast covert glances to me as if I could reveal sensitive information while chained to the seat of this vehicle. I’d be outraged if I wasn’t doing this for my Cat. These people had brutal ways to restrain prisoners.

  “I understand,” I carry on, “that there are different implements for binding games. I believe I saw some of these in online catalogs. There are handcuffs.” I rattled my chains for effect. “But then I’ve also read about benches where you bind a loved one to administer punishment and sexual gratification.”

  David shot me a nasty glance, and it pleased me I could annoy him.

  “I also saw a picture of an item called a St. Andrew’s Cross, which looks very provocative. Tell me, does Earth law enforcement use such a device?”

  “No,” said David. “The most restraint we use are hand and ankle cuffs strung together by a chain. It restricts the prisoner’s movements so they can only take a half step at a time.”

  “Oh, how delightful,” I said with a smirk. “Inspector O’Shea, I would adore it if you let me be your prisoner in such a contraption.”

  Cat looked away blushing and I wanted to kiss her mouth. It was strangely erotic to want to touch someone and not be able to do it. We would have to explore these binding games.

  “Shut up,” snapped David. “Cat need not hear your nonsense.”

  Cat jerked her head up from where she read her messages on her AI.

  “Prince Akrawn, please ignore my associate,” she said. Her voice was crisp and professional. “He forgets you are a visiting dignitary.”

  “Not a problem, Inspector O’Shea. I understand many of your people have a problem with mine, especially the ILE, who think we’ve come to your planet for nefarious purposes.”

  David huffed and averted his gaze after Cat gave him a warning glance.

  The van hit a bump and though there was no outside light, the van sounded as if we were in an enclosed space. We must be at SFPD headquarters.

  Four SFPD officers in uniform waited outside the door as Cat unlocked me. Her touch sent shivers through me, but I had to act as if she didn’t affect me for her sake. They took me to “processing,” which was a dreary affair. I did what they said, but I smirked when they took my photograph. This whole thing was ridiculous. Who else was me? Even my brothers didn’t share my facial features.

  An officer pressed my fingers into a holo-imaging unit more than once. He swore under his breath. He and another officer put their heads together. I waited, handcuffed to a table while one left, then returned with paper and a small black block in his hand.

  At the moment Cat appeared. “What is going on?”

  “The prisoner’s fingerprints don’t show on the scanner.”

  She gave them an incredulous stare. “And you were about to use ink on his fingers?”

  “Yes, ma’am,” said the man who brought the items.

  “Do you know the effect our ink has on Trilyn physiology?”

  “No,” the other officer said grimly.

  “Then maybe you shouldn’t do it. What makes you think that we can’t identify one of a handful of Trilyn on the planet?”

  “But we need the fingerprints to match against evidence.”

  Cat turned to me. “Prince Akrawn, is there a reason our holo machines do not capture your fingerprints?”

  “Your machines capture the images of human flesh. Trilyn flesh is denser. The parameters of your machines cannot read our fingerprints.”

  “There,” she said. “Even if you used the ink, you wouldn’t have gotten his fingerprints. Now, go ask the Trilyn embassy in San Francisco what the proper setting would be. Don’t worry. I’ll watch him for you. And you,” she pointed at the other one, “go check on the holding cells and make sure there is one with no close access to electronics. He’s a genius at them and we cannot trust him close to them.” She scowled at the officer.

  I wanted to kiss her for it.

  The officers scurried off, leaving me alone with my delectable Cat.

  I snorted. “How long will it take that one to find out that I am the Trilyn Embassy in question?”

  “I’ll give him a good twenty minutes. Then you can give him the settings.”

  I shrugged. “What if I don’t know them?”

  She rolled her eyes. “Please, Prince Akrawn. I’ve seen you operate enough to know that every specification you’ve seen you committed to memory.”

  “I cannot keep anything from you, my Cat.” Movement outside the doorway caught my eye, and I stepped forward to see outside the door, but Cat yanked me backward. Or rather I let her because she could not physically move me if I did not so choose. I felt her hand in my pocket and I almost said something, but she shook her head and I realized she had returned my AI to me.

  “I’ll have you know, Prince Akrawn, that surveillance cameras are in every room in this building.”

  Oh, so that was the reason she spoke cryptically to me thus. Good. I will play along.

  “Wise precaution,” I said.

  “Gl
ad you approve,” she said sarcastically.

  The officer returned displaying annoyance on his face.

  “The gentleman who answered the phone told me to ask Prince Akrawn.”

  I smirked.

  “You could have told us,” said Cat with mock indignation.

  “Yes. But where is the fun in that?”

  “Your brother said you were a jokester,” Cat accused.

  I swear, my Cat could be in the theater she was that good at playacting. I would love to show her some Trilyn theater, that is, once she learns our language.

  “Give the technician the settings so we can get this done.”

  “Yes. But I believe I have the right of one communication call? Is that not what I’ve seen on your television shows?”

  I was what humans called “hamming up” my response to Cat.

  “We’ve processing to finish first and I have to file my report. Then we can see about the amenities of the holding cell.”

  “I am enjoying this game of Good Cop and Bad Prisoner,” I said. “I’ve seen such a show on what you call the adult content channels. When do we get to the sexual content? Will you punish me first?”

  Cat huffed and I saw I was wearing on her patience.

  “Not everything you see on a porn channel happens in real life, your Highness. Now give the officer the settings so I can take you to your cell.”

  I gave her a wide smile. “A cell? More confinement? This should be delicious.”

  Cat gave me a look that could kill small beasts, so I relayed the settings. I let Cat handle my digits because I enjoyed her touch, though I regretted my fingerprints were now within the SFPD database. Not that I worried law enforcement would catch me at crimes, but the unscrupulous entity that was betraying the Trilyn would seize it up to plant evidence for false crimes. I would have to go in later and delete them, but now I played the arrest game because, with the news of my confinement, my father would talk to me. I must warn him about the danger I’d detected and he could get Gardax to track down the traitor. And perhaps he would arrange a lawyer to get me out of confinement. Despite my jokes, I wasn’t looking forward to getting locked behind glass doors for hours or days at a time.

  “Let’s go,” she said. “We’re done with this.”

  She pulled at my arm again, and I followed her down featureless white hallways. Her coworkers stared at as she walked me back to the holding cells.

  “Hey, Catwoman, got your man?” sneered one woman.

  Others told the woman to, “Quit it.”

  Cat ignored this jeer and steadfastly continued to march me down the hallway.

  “Who was that?” I asked.

  “Another detective.”

  “But who? She’s very disrespectful of you.”

  “She just jerking my chain. It’s what she does.”

  “And you allow her to do this?”

  “Drop the subject, Akrawn. Some people are just annoying and you put up with it because that is what sane and reasonable people do.” She gave me a pointed look, and I gave her a sideways glance.

  “Stop talking in human code.”

  “What?”

  “Human code. I’ve noticed this on your television shows.”

  “When, between stealing ancient necklaces and poking around in all the tech humans have, did you have time to watch television?”

  “There. You are doing it again. You know I stole nothing and yet you used it as a reference in our conversation. Human code is when you say something obscure or untrue and punctuate it with a meaningful expression on your face so everyone understands your words.”

  We must be deep inside the building because I could only see corridors and doorways, but no glass windows looking out to the city.

  “I think you are mistaking sarcasm for something else. There is no human code.”

  “Perhaps you are too close to the subject to think of it objectively. I have noticed a running subtext of meaning through human words. I believe it comes from the different meaning you ascribe to the same words. Take the word “black” for instance. It can mean a lack of light or a particular cultural experience.”

  “You are talking about metaphors,” Cat said.

  “Pardon?”

  “A figure of speech in which a word or phrase applies to an object or action to which it is not literally applicable.”

  “Language in symbols?”

  She nodded as we entered a large space with more benches. What was it about the SFPD and their obsession with benches? There were two miserable looking humans chained to these benches, and the reality of my situation hit me. If my plan didn’t work, I could be stuck here a long time. I looked at Cat who was grim-faced as she marched me across the floor and removed the cuffs.

  “In you go, Akrawn. Remember, we have surveillance cameras here in this room too.”

  “Cat, let me ask you. Is there a symbol in portraying me as a thief to the world? Could the person who manufactured this crime be trying to say that I, and by extension my brothers, are here to steal from Earth?”

  Cat’s face turned ashen white and I think I hit on something.

  “How can you not understand that many humans do not trust you? Do you think for one second that we believe you are only here to marry off a few princes? We have a saying. Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth. But that is a metaphor to warn you to do exactly that. Why would one race want to share their valuable technology with us? But it’s not exactly sharing, is it? You control it. We give you the specs to our tech and you retrofit everything to work with Trilyn technology. You, Akrawn. No one else. No humans allowed.”

  “But it is quicker and faster for me to do the work.”

  “That’s not what it looks like to us. It looks like you don’t trust us. It looks like you think we’re either too stupid or too untrustworthy to trust anyone with the whole of Trilyn technology. You offer far too much for a few brides, so it makes people like David wonder what the real price is for us to use your tech.”

  Cat pointed to the cell and reluctantly I stepped in.

  “I’d like my communication call,” I said.

  “What you should ask for is a lawyer because the next round of this process is questioning. It’s what all the smart criminals do.”

  Cat closed the cell door and I stared after her.

  “Cat?” I said.

  She pressed a box at the side of the door. “No one can hear you through the glass. We will watch you through our cameras.” She pointed to a glass-walled room with two officers staring at monitors. “You will wait here while I make my report and then we will bring you to a room to talk with you. Either later tonight or tomorrow morning we will transport you to the courthouse for your arraignment. If the judge approves bail, someone can put the money up for your release, but seeing that you have access to spaceships, don’t expect it.”

  “But what about my communication call?”

  “Later, Prince Akrawn,” she said.

  She turned away with a cold expression on her face and it tore my heart. But I understood we were in her workplace and she must act the working and loyal officer of the law she was. I didn’t have to like it though.

  After scanning the tiny room for the camera of which she spoke, I saw the pinhole in the corner. I sat on the bench furthest from the pinhole wall and pulled out my AI. But there was not much I could do with it which was disappointing. The shielding on the SFPD’s walls were more effective than I had believed and I couldn’t reach the Trilyn satellite, actually our mother ship, in orbit. I had hoped I could hack into the SFPD’s superior communications array, but apparently not from one of these rooms. It seemed I was doomed to remain here at the mercy of humans.

  I wasn’t used to this, but I couldn’t complain because this was my plan. I must trust that my Cat would come through for me.

  But her words, “How can you not understand that many humans do not trust you?” weighed on my mind. Yes. We did not tell Earth our entire plan. We didn’t want to
commit to settling on this planet until we were sure it was workable. Other planets would have taken great offense if we said, “we are considering settling on your planet, but we aren’t sure if it benefits you or us.” Seriously, we’d nearly had major diplomatic incidents on that issue. The other planetary governments took issue with the idea that we might not consider them a good match. So we erred on the side of caution. But here with the paranoid humans, they think the worst of us for offering what we did. “You offer too much for the price of a few brides.”

  Do women mean so little to them? There is something wrong with these humans.

  If it were not for my Cat, I would doubt the viability of this project. This was another reason to talk with my father, and I was frustrated that I couldn’t.

  I was so deep into these conundrums that I startled when the door opened. I swung my head expecting my Cat, but that jerk-off David stood in the doorway.

  “Come along,” he said.

  “Where is Cat?”

  “Busy. Come on. I don’t have all day.”

  “Where are you taking me?”

  “Just get your ass in gear.”

  I didn’t like this for one second. I decided if he wouldn’t tell me I wouldn’t budge from this cell.

  “No.”

  “If you don’t, I’ll get other officers to restrain you.”

  “Oh, good,” I snarked. “I do so love binding games.”

  “What is going on?”

  Cat appeared suddenly and her eyes blazed.

  “Prince Akrawn refuses to leave his cell,” David said with a snarl.

  “Agent David refused to tell me where we were going.”

  “Prince Akrawn, if you will present your wrists, I will take you to a place where you can make your call.”

  “Thank you, Inspector.”

  “David, how about seeing if you can reach Prince Gardax for me?” Cat spoke these words lightly as if she didn’t ask the impossible. Gardax wouldn’t answer my calls let alone someone from the ILE.

  “Fine,” said David, and he stalked away.

  “What was that about?” I asked.