A Reclusive Heart

by R. L. Mathewson

  What. The. Hell?

  “You want me to sleep with another woman?” he asked, shocked beyond words. Why in the hell would she want him to sleep with another woman? Was she crazy or was she doped out of her fucking mind?

  Jamie rolled her eyes, giving his hand a playful slap. “No, I don’t want you to sleep with another woman,” she said in an exasperated tone. “I just want you to butter her up a bit and then maybe when she’s putty in your hands you could maybe ask her about the chocolate?”

  “You’re willing to whore me out for chocolate?” he demanded as he came to his feet and pulled his hand away from hers.

  She rolled her eyes as she settled her hands in her lap. “No, I was just kind of hoping that you’d use that pretty smile of yours to get me some sugar.”

  “Pretty?” he spat out in disgust.

  “Well, yeah,” she said, shrugging. “You have a very pretty smile.”

  “Pretty?” he couldn’t help repeat in disbelief. His smile wasn’t pretty. It was charming and boyish, but pretty? Hell no. By all rights he should have stormed out of the room, but he was still too shaken up to leave her side for more than five minutes at a time so he decided to sit in the chair and settle on glaring at her.

  When she sent him a cute little wave and a hopeful smile he had to struggle not to smile back. It was difficult but he managed to do it. Her willingness to whore him out for chocolate pleased him immensely, not because she was fine with using him, which he was, but because she wasn’t jealous. His shy little recluse knew that he loved her and would never have to worry that he would hurt her.

  He sure as hell hoped at least.

  “I’m not asking, Jamie,” he said firmly.

  “But-“

  “No.”

  “Maybe-“

  “No.”

  “You won’t even hear me out. I-“

  “You’re not having any chocolate until your doctor says so, so let it go, baby,”

  he said, smiling when she let out the cutest little frustrated growl he’d ever heard.

  “Fine. Then let’s talk about something else,” she grumbled, settling back against her pillows as she glared up at the ceiling.

  “What would you like to talk about?” he asked, deciding that he’d punished her for traitorous ways long enough. He moved back onto the bed and took her hand into his. With a sigh she stopped glaring at the ceiling to smile softly at him.

  “Any luck on the job front?” she asked, nibbling her lip nervously.

  He inwardly winced when he realized that there were a few things that he’d failed to tell her, but in his defense when she wasn’t passed out she was drugged out of her mind. Today was the first day that she’d been with it enough that he could actually talk to her.

  “I’m staying with Rerum Publishing, sweetheart. After you left we sorted it out and realized that Holly was behind the firing. We’re actually pretty sure she was the one behind the complaints as well,” he said, giving her hand a comforting squeeze.

  “Oh,” she said, frowning. “Do I still have a job?”

  “If you want it, it’s yours,” he said casually as he silently prayed that she stayed. He loved working with her, but more importantly he loved being with her.

  “Will they still let you handle my books?” she asked, worrying her bottom lip.

  “Yes,” he said, knowing that if they tried to assign anyone else to her that he’d quit for real. J.L. Lewis was his and the key to his happiness. As long as he handled J.L. Lewis he would be the lucky son of a bitch that spent time with Jamie.

  He’d do anything to be with her. She was the key to his happiness, his heart, his soul and the only woman he would ever love.

  “Then I’ll sign the contract, but there’s something you should know,” she said, looking close to tears.

  “Are you okay?” he asked, concerned that the painkillers were wearing off and leaving his little recluse in pain. He’d rather die than see her suffer.

  “I’m fine, but the two books I wrote were destroyed. Holly did something to my computer and I think it’s dead,” she mumbled with a little sniffle that damn near broke his heart.

  He leaned in and pressed a kiss to her lips. “It’s okay, sweetheart.”

  “No, it’s not, Nick. I really liked the books and they were due next month and I’m afraid I won’t be able to replace them.”

  “Shhh, baby, you don’t have to,” he said soothingly as he gently cupped her face in his hand.

  “Yes, I do. I signed a contract and now I don’t have the books so they’re going to-“

  “You have the books, baby. I installed software onto your computer that automatically backed your files online. It’s all there, sweetheart. Everything’s fine,”

  he said, pressing a kiss against her mouth. “Everything is fine.”

  “Oh,” she said against his lips.

  When he pulled back just enough to look at her he couldn’t help but smile as she pursed her lips up in thought. “Is there something else, Jamie?”

  “I was just wondering if we were going to get a chance to finish the tour. We never got to go to Vegas, Hawaii or do the rest of the things on the list.”

  He bit back a smile as he asked. “Is there something in particular that you wanted to do, sweetheart?”

  She shrugged in indifference, but he wasn’t buying it. “What do you want to do, sweetheart? You know that we don’t have to wait for the tour to do it.”

  “I just don’t want to go back to being the old boring Jamie that’s all,” she muttered shyly.

  He chuckled as he leaned forward and pressed a kiss to the tip of her nose.

  “You were never boring, sweetheart, but you should know that we can do whatever you want, sweetheart. Anything you want to try we’ll try and I will be right there by your side.”

  “Promise?”

  “I promise, Jamie. Anything you want,” he promised, moving his lips back to hers.

  “Then can I have chocolate?” she asked, sounding so damn hopeful that he couldn’t help but laugh.

  “No yet.”

  “I hate you.”

  “You love me.”

  “No, I love chocolate. I hate you,” she clarified even as she smiled so damn sweetly up at him.

  “Really?”

  “Mmmmhmm, really,” she said, nodding solemnly.

  “What if I sneak you in a double chocolate milkshake, hmm? Will you love me then?”

  “Will it have a shot of hot fudge?” she asked, appearing to think it over.

  “It will have anything you want in it, sweetheart.”

  She reached up and cupped his face. “What if I want you? Can I have you?”

  “You already have me, Jamie,” he swore, turning his head to press a kiss against her palm.

  “In that case I’ll take a double shot of hot fudge in it,” she said, grinning impishly up at him.

  He chuckled as he leaned down and kissed her. “I guess it’s too bad that I lied then, huh?”

  “I really do hate you,” she said, sighing against his lips as she kissed him back.

  “Too late, Jamie. I already know that you love me.”

  “Do you love me?” she asked, shyly.

  He moved back just enough to look into her beautiful caramel eyes. “So much that it hurts, Jamie. You’re my world.”

  “I think you should prove it with chocolate.”

  “I just bet that you do,” he said, chuckling as he leaned in to cut off her protests with a kiss that probably wasn’t appropriate for a hospital room, but he couldn’t help himself. The little recluse set him on fire and holy hell did he burn for her.

  Chapter 32

  Three months later………

  Ten miles outside of Hershey, Pennsylvania

  “Is my surprise a visit to heaven on earth?” Jamie asked, trying not to sound too eager and failed. All she knew was that he better not have brought her this close to the Hershey factory without any intention of bringing her there.
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  Nick’s deep chuckle relaxed her somewhat as he picked up their entwined hands and pressed a kiss against her knuckles. She noticed that he did that a lot, kissing her that is. He couldn’t seem to be around her without touching her or kissing her. It made her happy and helped ease the anxious part of her that waited everyday for him to break her heart when he decided that he couldn’t handle being with her any longer.

  After three months they were still going strong. It surprised her how well they were doing. Even more surprising was the fact that they seemed to be living together. It wasn’t something that they discussed. It just kind of sort of happened.

  When they finally released her from the hospital she’d been too weak to go through the hassle of searching for a new home and moving. Thankfully Nick told her that there wasn’t a rush and that she could wait until she was fully recovered.

  When her doctor announced that she was able to return to work, well, go to the office instead of just working from Nick’s bed, he didn’t say anything and neither did she. They just kind of fell into a routine of making love in the morning, having breakfast together, driving to work separately because of the different schedule demands they each had. Some nights they managed to have dinner together and other nights she ignored the cute little post-it notes he taped to the cabinets and refrigerator imploring her to have a normal meal and usually indulged in her love for sweets. No matter what they did or where they traveled they always ended the night making love.

  Life right now was perfect and she wasn’t going to wreck it by wondering about tomorrow. She was going to live each day to its fullest and enjoy her time with Nick. If it ended tomorrow she would be devastated, but she was thankful for the memories they’d created together.

  “Do you really think I’d bring you this close to the motherland and not take you? You’d try to smother me in my sleep if I did that,” he said, smiling in that way that drove her crazy and made her consider asking him to pull over so that she could double check a certain item off her list, again.

  “Then what are we doing here? I heard you telling Rick that you had to schedule a stopover during this tour so I’m guessing this is the stopover. What is it?” she asked, turning in her seat to look at him.

  He let out an exasperated sigh that she wasn’t buying for a minute before answering her. “It’s a surprise, my little eavesdropper.”

  She shrugged off his teasing. “Is it a good surprise or a bad surprise?”

  “I’m hoping that it’s a good surprise, Jamie,” he said, turning all serious on her.

  “Should I be worried?” she asked, wondering what kind of surprise would require them to take a few days off during their tour to come to Pennsylvania.

  Maybe he was bringing her to a Hershey’s outlet store and was going to let her fill the trunk and backseat with chocolate. She could hope at least.

  “There’s nothing to worry about,” he said, pressing another kiss to her hand as he pulled into the parking lot of a 50’s era dinner with a sign that boasted to having the largest dessert menu on the east coast, something the sugar addict in her was more than willing to look into.

  “Why don’t we grab lunch?” Nick suggested as he parked their rental car.

  “That sounds like a good idea,” she said, wondering if he was going to count that donut she snuck earlier against her. The man was so damn stubborn when it came to her sugar intake, but in a sweet cranky sort of way that actually made her smile.

  That is when he wasn’t coming between her and sugar.

  She watched him loosen his tie as he walked around the front of the car and nearly sighed. The man was a sight to behold. He was handsome, hot, masculine and so damn sexy that sometimes it was a struggle, like now, not to tackle him to the ground and have her dirty little way with him. By the time he made it around the car to open her door she was focused back on what was important, a huge dessert menu calling her name.

  He leaned down and brushed his lips teasingly over hers as he took her hand in his before they headed towards the front doors. The scent of home cooking hit her before they made it to the doors, making her stomach growl viciously. Perhaps she’d eat lunch before hitting the dessert menu, she decided as they walked into the dinner and nearly tripped over her own feet.

  The dinner was large, homey, and filled with a large crowd. Instead of the 50’s memorabilia that she expected it had old fashioned dessert and candy pictures everywhere, but that’s not what took her by surprise. Not even close. It was framed pictures, magazine covers and article newspapers of J.L. Lewis books placed among the yummy looking photos. At the front counter where a smiling woman stood near the cashier there were even J.L. Lewis books on sale among the homemade candies and treats being sold.

  “What is this?” she asked distractedly as she ran her eyes over everything once again, sure that she was just seeing things.

  “How many?” the smiling woman behind the counter asked, her smile slipping a little as she looked Jamie over. “You look very familiar, Miss. Have you been here before?”

  “No,” Jamie said weakly, feeling a little overwhelmed. She didn’t like attention, but she normally was able to deal with it. She wasn’t so sure she’d be able to do that in a place that was set up as a living shrine to her. It was a little unnerving.

  “It’s our first time here. Who’s the big J.L. Lewis fan?” Nick asked, gesturing lazily to the large stack of books on sale behind the cashier.

  The woman’s smile returned full force. “That would be Aubrey. She’s the owner and the nicest woman you could ever meet,” the woman said warmly.

  “Is she here?” Nick asked and Jamie just barely fought back the urge to give his shin a good solid kick. What in the heck was he thinking? He knew how nervous overexcited fans made her. If the promise of a large dessert menu didn’t intrigue her she would so be out of here, but it did so she was staying. She was also having more than one dessert because of this and if he didn’t like it then that was too bad for him.

  “She’ll be here soon,” the woman said, picking up two menus as she stepped around the counter to show them to their seats.

  “When she comes here could you give her my card,” Nick asked, pulling a business card out of his pocket and handing it to the woman, “and tell her that I would love to meet her.”

  She took the card as she gestured them towards an oversized booth near the jukebox. “I sure will.”

  “What was all that about?” Jamie asked once the woman walked away.

  Nick shrugged as he looked down at his menu. “Just curious to meet her that’s all,” he said, but she wasn’t buying it. If her eyes hadn’t landed on the most enticing appetizer menu that she’d ever seen she would have questioned him further.

  “You do realize that I’m going to have to get several desserts here, right?” she asked as she ran her eyes over the largest dessert menu she’d ever seen. Did she just whimper? She just might have.

  “I packed the aspirin, heating pad and ice packs so you can have whatever you want,” Nick said, surprising her, not that he was prepared for one of her sugar binges, but that he was accepting it so easily.

  Something was wrong. Something was very wrong. The one and only time he’d encouraged her to indulge in too much sugar had been right after she was released from the hospital and he had to break the news to her that her family had yet again screwed her over. Finding out that her family had made money by selling the journal she’d kept when she was fifteen had not been her favorite day. It was difficult knowing that people all over the world could read about her private thoughts from one of the most difficult times in her life.

  Of course that little action helped her get over missing them real quick. They didn’t love her. She knew that. It was fine. She didn’t need them. She had Nick and some really good friends now. Although it would have been nice to have someone to call her own she didn’t need them.

  “Do you want to start off with a shake?” Nick asked.