Rebel Heart

by Tee Ayer

  I frowned, looking around, thinking that maybe someone in the house had been hurt but the scent was too rich, and too fresh. It wasn’t my time of the month either so that was ruled out.

  And then my leg began to sting and burn, and I looked down to seen a long trail of blood snaking its way down my shin mixing in with soap bubbles and ragged pieces of skin.

  Though shocked at the state of my shin, and the pain, I blinked away the tears and crouched to check the wound. After cleaning up with water, I studied the injury which turned out to be a long irregular-shaped graze about 2 inches in length. How in the world had that happened?

  I’d been shaving for weeks and had taken care of the razor to ensure it didn’t rust. I’d been overly diligent in following the instructions on the box and I’d still injured myself.

  I frowned and studied the blade, my first thought being that perhaps I’d chipped the edge at some point. But when I saw the condition of the blade itself, I knew instantly what had happened.

  The blade was rusted, and in places the rust had eaten portions of the sharp edge away. Now the ragged edges of the razor blade held pieces of my skin all clumped and accordioned in places. Tears filled my eyes, partly for the pain of the stinging now that I’d understood what had happened, and partly for what I knew had caused me to hurt myself.

  Someone had swapped my new razor out for an old rusted one.

  There was only one person who I knew was capable of doing such a thing. Greer. This type of thing was typical of her behavior where everything she did was in her own best interest. But I hadn’t ever truly believed her capable of cold cruelty

  She’s my sister. Surely she would have known what could have happened if I’d shaved with the blade in that condition? Was she truly capable of doing that to her own sister who she was supposed to be taking care of?

  I shook my head and tried to push away the tears, but it didn’t work. Instead, I sobbed in silence as I cleaned and washed the wound and finished showering. I dressed in shorts and a tee, leaving the wound bare and still seeping a little bit of blood then went downstairs, razor in hand, in search of Grams and Greer.

  I found Grams in the kitchen and I paused on the threshold and swallowed back tears. Grams’ blonde head lifted as I composed myself, green eyes studying my red face for a few seconds.

  Then Grams’ eyes filled with concern. “Kai? Is everything ok?”

  “No,” I said, my throat tight, voice hoarse.

  I stalked toward the table and slammed the blade onto the countertop. “Someone swapped their razor with mine and I just ripped up my leg.”

  My throat was filled with the urge to cry but I managed to hold my tears back. Gram’s eyes went wide as her nostrils flared. She rushed around the counter and dropped to the floor in front of me to inspect the wound.

  “How did this happen?” she asked as though she hadn’t heard me the first time.

  I swallowed and said, “The razor was rusted through. I didn’t notice because I took care of my razor so it wouldn’t rust. I followed the instructions.”

  As I spoke Greer walked into the kitchen from behind me. I was looking directly at Greer as I finished answering Grams.

  Greer smirked and replied, “Maybe the product was defective?”

  Grams got to her feet and stared at Greer, eyes narrowed. It looked like my grandmother was trying to see through Greer’s unaffected facade. Guess Grams knew what I’d meant when I’d said someone had swapped the blade.

  Then she turned to me. “What makes you say the blade was swapped? Do you think it might have been defective?”

  I shrugged. “Used it two days ago and it was in perfect condition. It’s not possible for something to rust that fast.”

  Grams gave a short nod. Then I met Greer’s eyes over Gram’s shoulder. A satisfied smile curled the corner of her lip and her eyes shimmered with delight. But only for a second. Then her expression went flat.

  “I know who did it.”

  Grams’ eyebrows wobbled. “Oh? Who do you think did it?”

  I looked at Grams. “It was Greer.”

  The kitchen was drenched in silence for a few long moments. Then Greer said, “Don’t blame others for your own uselessness. If you couldn’t take care of your stuff don’t go blaming someone else.”

  I gritted my teeth then looked at Grams. “I can prove it,” I blurted out.

  Eyes wide, Grams looked at me and then back at Greer who had now stiffened, no longer interested in smirking.

  “How can you prove it?” asked Grams.

  “Just check Greer’s bathroom. You’ll find my blade there.” I was so very sure about that my voice was filled with conviction. Something in my tone must have been enough to convince Grams and she looked over at Greer, hands on her hips. “Let’s all go upstairs now and sort this out.”

  Greer’s face went white, a true feat considering her milky pale skin. “What? Don’t tell me you actually believe this brat? You know she’ll do anything to get me in trouble.” Though Greer had attempted to sound dismissive, she’d failed. The hitch in her voice, not to mention her blanched expression, was enough to raise Gram’s suspicions.

  The old matriarch turned on her heel and headed to the stairs. I scurried after her even as Greer shrieked, “Don’t you dare touch my stuff. This isn’t right.”

  Grams snorted. “Watch your tone young lady. You may have free rein here some of the time but don’t you speak to me with disrespect,” Gram’s said as she walked up the stairs. Her voice had filled with the low rumble of her panther and would have been enough to make anyone cower. Greer though didn’t appear to understand she was pushing Grams a little too far

  My sister’s footsteps rang behind me and she raced up the stairs shoving me aside. I slammed into the balustrade and had to grab tight to prevent myself from tumbling down the stairs, but she wasn’t paying attention. When I looked up, she’d already run past Grams and was taking the corner to her bedroom.

  “Greer Odel! Stop right where you are.” The growl was now loud and threatening, with Grams’ skin shivering with her panther markings, her eyes were no doubt also in full shift mode.

  Greer turned to face us, hand on the handle to her room, expression haughty as she opened her room door. But she must have seen something in Grams’ eyes because she let her hand fall to her side in silence.

  She didn’t move as we caught up to her, didn’t speak other than to gift me with a deathly glare as Grams and I entire her room and headed for the bathroom. Grams checked the drawer and withdrew a pink shaving blade which could have been mine.

  In that second, I experienced a flare of fear. What if she’d thrown mine out? Then there would be no proof.

  As though she’d read my thoughts, Greer said, “What kind of proof do you have that I took your blade, Kai? Surely you can’t believe her, Grams? She’s just trying to blame me for something she clearly caused all by herself.”

  I shook my head, fear making my stomach flutter. “Check the handle of the blade. If my initials are on the underside of the handle, then it’s mine.”

  “You marked your blade?” Greer asked, her tone sharp, as though now she understood what she’d gotten herself into.

  I didn’t answer because Grams was turning the blade over to inspect the handle. And just as I’d believed, she paused then looked up at Greer. “This blade has Kai’s initials carved into it.”

  Greer shook her head. “You seriously saying you believe her?” She threw her hand in my direction as if I was some piece of filthy trash. “She’d do anything to pin this on me.”

  Grams met Greer head on, turning to face her, eyes flashing so that even I was a little afraid. Greer took a step back but didn’t make any further moves.

  Grams held out the razor. “Explain this if you don’t mind, dear. Why is Kai’s razor in your bathroom?”

  Greer shrugged. “I don’t know.” Then her face brightened and a smiled curved her lips again as she turned to stare me down. “Maybe she pu
t it there just to blame me.”

  Grams looked over at me for a second then shook her head. “No. You came down after her. She wouldn’t have had time.”

  Greer chuckled though her jaw tightened. “I left my room earlier. Was out in the gazebo looking over homework. She had plenty of time to make the swap herself.”

  Grams took a deep breath as if she was trying to keep herself from losing her shit. But even so, something told me that I was going to lose this battle with Greer. She was too skilled at making things look good for herself.

  Then Grams shook her head. “You came in through the hall and I heard you on the stairs.” Then she walked closer and sniffed Greer and studied her bare feet. “You also don’t smell like grass or of the wood from the gazebo. And your feet are clean. In fact, you smell like you’ve just had a shower. Plus, the tiles in the shower itself are still wet. And so is this razor.” Grams shook the razor and sent a shower of tiny droplets cascading to the floor.

  Greer’s jaw hardened and she glared at Grams. “So you’re just going to take her side?”

  Grams tilted her head. “The evidence seems to support her claim, Greer. This kind of behavior is simply not acceptable, dear. I don’t understand where you get this nasty streak from but if you don’t contain it soon, it’s going to be the death of you.”

  Greer laughed and threw her hands in the air. “Just great. You believed the little creep instead of me. And now you’re threatening me?”

  “I’m not aware of having threatened you, dear. You have a lot to deal with, I know that, and you have my sympathies and my love. But there is nothing that justifies this level of spite and cruelty.”

  Greer let out a low growl. “Ugh. Fine. Believe her. I don’t care anymore. But I promise you, one day she’ll show her true colors and you’ll know how wrong you are.” Then Greer spun on her heel and stalked out of the bathroom. I listened to doors being flung open and drawers opening and shutting hard. Then her footsteps faded out of the room allowing me to relax at last.

  Grams patted my shoulder. “I know this is tough to deal with, dear. Hopefully someday she will change. In the meantime, I hope you can take the high road.”

  I shook my leg then lifted it to let her see the injury again. “Right now I’m not feeling very high-roady. She does this type of thing all the time. You have no idea how many things she’s done that I’ve already taken the fall for her but nobody seems to listen when I tell them I’m innocent.”

  “Don’t you worry, dear. People are listening.”

  “Well, maybe you but certainly not Dad. And Greer always rubs it in that she’s the golden child, the one Dad prefers because he doesn’t have to keep looking at a miniature version of the woman who broke his heart.”

  Grams cupped my cheek. “Oh, honey. That’s not at all what he thinks. And even if there aren’t loud arguments being had about it, rest assured that nobody is blind.”

  “Then why doesn’t Dad do something about her?” I demanded, hands on my hips, blood hot.

  Grams sighed. “Greer has…problems. I can’t talk about it with you right now but Greer is going through a very tough time. Just because it looks like she’s given a pass for her bad behavior, don’t believe it. We’re trying to deal with this as best we are able, but Greer’s issue isn’t something easily dealt with.”

  I bit my lip. “You mean her time of Change?”

  Grams stilled, looked into my eyes. Then she took my chin in her fingers and lifted my face to stare into my eyes. “What do you know of her time of Change, dear?”

  I shrugged. “Just that it sometimes looks like she’s reached it and then we’re all saying give her more time. And she was real nasty when my Change came.”

  Grams nodded and then let go of my chin. Then she drew me into a hug. “I’m sorry you have to go through this my sweet. Just believe you have a strength inside of you that will get you through the worst of times. Sadly our family did not draw the easy life card.”

  I snorted. “If you ask me, we bought a loaded deck. The entire deck is Hard Life cards.”

  Grams laughed softly and tapped my nose. “Sometimes I wonder at that myself. Now, how about you and I go down and have breakfast. I’ll help you heal that wound but I’m not sure you can get rid of it entirely. If any of the copper particles have fused with your cells you may have a hint of a scar.”

  I shrugged not caring much about scars when the scars on my heart were deeper and always painful.

  7

  Pariah

  Pariah*

  I blinked and focused again on my sister’s body as she lay deathly still on the stone altar. I wasn’t sure what was happening and the longer we waited, all gathered together in the small cave, bodies making the place warmer, odors of sweat and perfume and wet stone and broken grass all filling my nostrils to the point of a cacophony of sensory input.

  I felt hyper aware and could even hear Greer’s breathing as she inhaled and exhaled. Her throat pulsed as blood rushed through her veins but the sound of her heartbeat was erratic.

  Not the nervous erratic, but rather something different, a pace to it that I hadn’t heard before. Something was wrong. Around me people were shifting restlessly, glancing at each other, faces filled with questions. A few of the elders looked over at me as though perhaps I had the answer but I just kept watching Greer.

  They’d dressed her in a white gown, giving her an air pf purity, which was almost laughable. The entire clan knew Greer as a fun-loving girl who didn’t care much who she slept with as long as she enjoyed herself. I wasn’t judging.

  Just an observation.

  Now, her chest rose and fell and I glanced around at the faces wondering which of these men knew Greer in the biblical sense. Then I shut the thought off. What in Ailuros’ name was wrong with me?

  Then I blinked and shook my head. I’d forgotten the leaves the priestess was burning would have included a calmative herb to ensure Greer didn’t get too antsy, or her family for that matter.

  But Greer had passed out within five minutes of the beginning of her Change and nothing had happened in the last ten minutes.

  Iain was shaking his head and then he tapped Dad on the shoulder before whispering in his ear. Then Dad gave a short nod and beckoned the priestess. She didn’t appear happy with his request but neither did she disagree.

  She walked to a small table at the back of the cave where her case had sat. From inside, she drew a few herbs and liquids then added a couple drops of this and that before bringing the vial to Greer.

  The priestess placed a hand beneath Greer’s neck and lifted her head. Greer’s mouth opened of its own accord and the priestess dropped the blue-green liquid into Greer’s mouth one drop at a time.

  The air in the cave had become more tense and the faces around me more strained. They seemed to know what this was all about but nobody was filling me in. I stepped to the side and slid my hand into Grams’ palm. She looked over at me and gave me a comforting smile. But she didn’t say anything. Her reaction was enough to tell me that this wasn’t the time or the place to have my questions answered. She’d tell me later.

  So I left my hand in hers, drawing comfort from the touch of her skin and the warmth of her blood. And I focused on Greer as she began to move on the slab of stone.

  The time of Change was supposed to have been special. To be fair, it was special to most people. Even my Change has been more or less smooth sailing. Greer’s however, had been filled will stumbling blocks. Her Change had come upon her at least three times now but the ritual had ended in failure and each time Greer had left the Cave of Sacraments without the ability to shift.

  Had this been the issue Grams had hinted at earlier in the year? Was Greer struggling with her Change for a reason darker than I knew of?

  I had to wonder then if a person’s state of mind contributed to when you were ready to Change. Did you have to be a good person to receive the gift Ailuros gave us? I doubted it. Having been treated with cruelty by numerous pe
ople during the years after Mom had left, I knew the goddess gave the gift to us all, without question or restriction.

  Then what was wrong with Greer?

  Again Greer shifted on the stone, her shoulders twitching, hands moving off the table to her chest and throat as though fending off something that was suffocating her.

  Her ears shifted and began to grow, a dark sheen of fur growing and shaping itself into the tufted ear of a panther. Her jaws shifted, elongated, eye sockets deepened, nostrils widening.

  I watched in fascination as Greer actually began to Change. At last, my sister was getting what she wanted and somewhere inside me I wondered if now that she’d successfully achieved her shift, maybe she’d start being nice to me.

  I swallowed the emotion that threatened to bring tears to my eyes and watched in silence. Soft fur had covered Greer’s chest and neck now, though the rest of her body from neck down hadn’t changed form as yet.

  A ripple of anticipation ran though the elders who had gathered to witness the Change and I shivered, recalling my own ceremony. I hadn’t loved the idea of being seen naked by the elders, even if for only a few seconds. I hoped someone would move quickly when Greer shifted back to her human from.

  But then moments went by and nothing more happened.

  The silence in the room was so thick you could have cut it with a knife. Grams squished my hand in hers and I glanced up at her, worried now. And I realized she’d moved involuntarily because her eyes were fixed on Greer, cords of her neck tight, lips thin.

  Something was very wrong.

  Dad looked over his shoulder at Grams, his eyes filled with sadness. Grams took a deep breath and walked over to him, leading me along with her. Worry made me feel a little sick. Even I had begun to suspect what was happening to Greer. But it couldn’t be.

  It can’t be.

  And I realized as we weaved through the gathered crowd that I wasn’t as disappointed for Greer as I was for myself because if she couldn’t shift she’d be angry for the rest of her life. And she’d take it out on me.