The Way You Smile

by Kiki Archer

  “But I’ve lost, Julie. I’ve lost Harriet, can’t you see that?”

  “Oh, you never bloody knew if you wanted her in the first place, all your to-ing and fro-ing. If you actually loved her you’d know.”

  “I know!” shouted Camila over the loud music. “I know now! It’s the thought that I’ve lost her that makes me realise I love her!”

  “That’s not bloody love.”

  “It is for me.”

  “Hardly very bloody romantic though.”

  Camila pulled her neighbour away from the noisy van and onto the street pavement. “Sometimes there isn’t that one magical moment of knowing,” she said. “Or even a momentum of magical moments or lovely experiences that make you realise you’re in love. Sometimes it’s the shock that you’ve lost someone, and I’ve lost her, Julie. I’ve lost Harriet.”

  “No, you haven’t. She was just on the TV saying she loved you. She obviously saw your spiel from the stage.”

  “What?” Camila gasped out in shock.

  “Dedicated the bloody win to you, didn’t she?”

  “Did she?” Camila grabbed hold of Julie’s arm. “Did she really?”

  “Of course she bloody well did. Does this mean we’re friends again? Can we go closer to the van? I love it when the music’s pumping.”

  “Oh, Julie, what am I going to do with you?”

  “Let me have the patent?”

  “No chance! We’ll be filing a patent dispute in the morning and we clearly have all of the evidence to support our claim that it was our development.”

  “But it was my idea! I sat there and came up with it when you were pissed off at Ethan and his obsession with his handhelds.” Julie pointed. “Ooooh look, now he’s got a new hand to hold. And anyway, if you’re filing a patent dispute in the morning it means you’re still at H.I.Pvention so I maintain my point: it’s all worked out for everyone involved.” Julie flung an arm around Camila’s waist. “Look at everyone, all these happy people, everyone’s dancing, and would you just look at your son and his new handheld.”

  Camila watched her youngest who was indeed smiling widely as he held the hand of his pretty friend Harry.

  “And Michael too. Look at him. Wait, who’s that?” said Julie. “What’s going on?”

  Camila followed the gaze to her eldest child.

  “It’s bloody Bill Stevens,” Julie was shouting. “Bill! Bill! It’s Cassie’s dad. Why’s he pushing your Michael? Terry, come here! Quick, do something! Roy, get involved! Break it up! What’s going on?!”

  Camila ran past Terry who was shaking his head and saying something about not getting involved with a boxer. “Do something!” she shouted, before charging into the man who was tall enough and muscular enough to make her eldest actually look like a child again. “Stop it!” she shouted. “What are you doing?! Roy, come and help me!”

  “Your son, is it?” shouted the man as he held Michael in a head lock.

  “Let go of him! He’s only fifteen!”

  “Excuse me,” said Roy, “I think you should let go of him.”

  “Says who? You? Standing there holding your bollocks. Why are you holding your bollocks?”

  Debbie chirped up. “He has his issues, does my Roy. He won’t want them getting knocked and you’re a boxer aren’t you? He’ll be concerned. You’re concerned, aren’t you, Roy?”

  “He only runs the bloody boxing club,” said Julie. “He’s not a boxer himself. Now what is it, Bill? Calm down and tell us what’s happening.”

  Camila continued trying to free her son’s head. “Let go of him. This is private property.”

  “Property that belongs to me too,” said the voice behind her.

  Spinning around as she released her grip on the big man’s bicep, Camila saw Mick standing next to her car.

  “Doesn’t look like you’ve been doing very well without me, does it, Camila. What’s going on, everyone?”

  “Your son, is he?” said Bill with a growl, still not releasing his choke hold.

  Mick nodded. “He might have gone a bit off the rails with me being away and all that, but I’m back now and I’m here to sort everything out. Camila, whatever this is, I forgive you. You’ve made a fool of yourself on the telly but I’m putting it down to a mid-life crisis. I had one with Jackie but it’s over now. Let’s forget all about it and move on. Everyone, if you could go home. This is my home. Mine and Camila’s. We’ll sort out whatever this is and we’ll see you all soon.”

  No one moved apart from Ethan who released his friend’s hand.

  “I’ve seen it already, son,” said Mick, “and I’ll be sorting that out too. Honestly, Camila, is there anything you haven’t screwed up?”

  “Me, Mick? How dare you? I’m happy. For the first time in a very long time, I’m happy.”

  “You don’t look it, love. You’ve got one son in a headlock, one doing something I don’t even want to discuss and a friend who’s still fucking you over.”

  “It was my idea!” shouted Julie.

  “Whatever.” Mick turned to the crowd once again. “Will you all just piss off?”

  Still no one moved apart from Bill Stevens who finally released Michael and pulled the boy up by the back of his shirt. “Tell him, mate. Give your dad something else to add to his worries.”

  Michael rubbed his neck. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “SHE’S PREGNANT,” shouted the man, pointing his finger at his daughter. “You got my daughter pregnant. She’s the head girl and she’s pregnant!”

  “Oh Julie!” gasped Camila. “You let her stay the night!”

  The gasp from the crowd of people huddled on the driveway almost rivalled the one elicited from the live studio audience earlier on when Claude had made his announcement.

  “Camila, you silly cow,” said Mick. “Look what happens when there’s no man in the house. You need me, you all need me. We’ll sort this out, mate,” he said, nodding at Cassie’s dad. “We’ll give you some money from her Technology Box invention. We’re going to be minted. We’ll support your girl.”

  Terry stepped forwards. “The Technology Box idea’s ours. Mine and Julie’s. No offence, mate, and it’s nice to see you back and all that, but we filed the patent first. We’ll be the ones making the money.”

  Mick shook his head. “Didn’t you watch the results? That Harriet bird just said it was my Camila’s idea. She said Camila was the reason they’d won the show and that Camila was the reason they’d win back the patent.”

  Camila smiled. “Did she really say that?”

  “Does no one care that my kid is pregnant?” shouted Bill in frustration.

  “These things happen, Bill,” said Julie. “We’ll all rally round.”

  “I can’t believe you, Michael,” said Camila, shaking her head, “after everything we’ve spoken about.”

  “It wasn’t me, Mum.”

  Debbie snorted. “Well it certainly wasn’t my Roy, was it, dear?” She addressed the crowd. “He does have his problems does my Roy.”

  Bill pointed his finger at Camila and Mick. “Your boy has made my girl pregnant.”

  “I’m not pregnant by him, Dad!” Cassie was shaking her head. “He’s only fifteen. He’s my friend. He’s been helping me with my school work. He’s been good to me.”

  “Now that’s my son,” said Camila.

  Bill growled. “That twat of a head boy then? Was it him? Was it? Was it?”

  Cassie nodded.

  “That posh fucker? Goddamn it. He lives on that new estate down the road, doesn’t he? I think I’ll go and pay him a visit instead,” he roared. “No harm meant,” added the man with his own brand of sincerity.

  Camila watched as half the crowd followed Bill Stevens: an angry mob intent on revenge, or entertainment. She turned to Cassie. “Are you okay?”

  Cassie sniffed before managing a smile. “If I end up like you then I will be.”

  Camila laughed. “Like me? Look at me. Look at t
his mess. Are you sure you haven’t got anything to do with this, Michael?”

  “Of course not, Mum.”

  “Your son’s the one who’s got me through it all,” said Cassie. “You should be really proud of him.” The pretty girl nodded. “And you’ll sort all this out.”

  “No, I will,” said Michael, stepping up to his father and looking him dead in the eye. “Do one, Dad.”

  Ethan stepped forward too and raised his chin. “Yeah, do one.”

  Neither boy smiled nor flinched as their father half-laughed, half-flexed his shoulders.

  “That’s a nice way to speak to your dad.” Mick looked at Camila, his face flushed with a shade of pink somewhere between anger and embarrassment. “Is this how you’re bringing them up? No respect for their father?”

  Camila shrugged, “You have to earn respect Mick, that’s what I’ve taught them.”

  Mick stared at her and then at the stony-faced boys, then at his ex-neighbours – all watching with quite a bit of interest and not a lot of sympathy.

  “You know what,” said Mick, “I’m going to leave you lot to it. I might have been a bit proud of you, Michael, if you’d got your bird pregnant.” He stared at his youngest son. “But as for you, mate, your mother’s obviously rubbed off on you too much already.”

  “Good,” said Ethan, “I’d like that, because she’s perfect. She’s happy and I’m happy and we’re all happy.”

  “And you’re happy with Jackie,” reasoned Camila, wanting a quiet and amicable end to this scene.

  “Kicked me out, didn’t she?”

  “You can stay with us,” offered Terry, puffing out his chest.

  “No, he can’t,” said Julie promptly. “Me and Camila are patching things up. I don’t want you and Mick causing us problems.”

  Camila sighed. Was this her life? Was this her worth. These people. Was she silly to think she could ever escape any of it?

  “I don’t think so, Julie,” she heard herself saying in an unusually firm tone. “You’ve gone too far this time.” She turned away from her ex-best friend’s gaping mouth. Throwing her head back she closed her eyes and was immediately hit in the face by a huge rain drop.

  “Rain dance!” screamed Julie, as she spun away from Camila, trying to grin and look like nothing had happened. “Turn the stereo up louder!”

  Camila stayed where she was, the pumping music from the van and the noise from the suddenly hammering rain drowned out by the “whop-whop” sound of a low-flying helicopter.

  Cassie shouted into Camila’s ear. “Go and say ‘yes’ to Harriet.”

  Wiping the rain from her face, Camila frowned up at the flashing navigation lights in the sky above them. “What?”

  “You’re a strong woman, Camila,” said the girl. “If I end up like you then I’ll know I’ve done well. You’ve been an inspiration to me and your boys are a credit to you.”

  “Is that the bloody media?” screeched Julie, pointing up at a helicopter that was circling their street. “They said they wouldn’t come till tomorrow. Bloody hell, Camila, we need to get our stories straight. I’m having the patent, right? But they’re not seeing me like this all soaked to the bone, I need to go and get changed!”

  Camila shook her head. “You heard me, Julie. There isn’t a story to get straight. You’re not getting the patent. I can’t be friends with you anymore. No more crap bargains, no more bullying, no more walking all over me. We’re done. I’m done.”

  “You don’t mean it,” Julie said, trying to grin.

  “I do, Julie. I really really do.”

  Cassie grabbed her arm. “It’s Harriet,” she whispered into Camila’s ear as she peered up into the rainy sky. “And you’re going to say yes to her, Camila.” The girl smiled. “I do English Lit; we’re studying contemporary romance.”

  “That’s not Harriet and there’s nothing to say yes to.”

  “There is. It’s Harriet in that chopper, it says ‘H.I.P’ on the side, I saw it clear as day. You need to say yes to believing. Yes, to just going with it. Yes, to the unknown. I’ve learnt that from you, so have your boys. That’s what I’m going to do. Come on, you can’t let me down. You’re my heroine.”

  Camila laughed shakily and wiped more rain from her face as they watched the helicopter’s lights descend further. It was hovering above the playing field behind their estate. It was going to land.

  “Let’s go and see who it is,” shouted Harry, grabbing hold of Ethan’s hand and splashing through puddles as they darted off towards the playing field.

  “She’s come to swoop you up like Richard Gere, only she’s so cool she’s not bothering with a limo.” Cassie shrugged at Camila’s surprised expression. “That’s how I’d write it anyway.”

  Camila shook her head, causing rain to fly in all directions. “Life’s not like that. There aren’t any final scenes like there are in books or the movies. Life just goes on. You just figure it out. You don’t get that one moment of magic.”

  “But what if it’s there?” said Cassie, as she smiled over at Michael. “Shouldn’t you rush towards it and grab it with both hands?”

  Camila gasped as she visualised her favourite ever scene from a movie. Her feet started to move of their own accord and suddenly she was splattering through puddles, the spray glittering in the street lights and soaking her to the skin. As she got to the playing field she saw the helicopter’s skids settling on the grass and its side door opening. Ethan and Harry were leaping up and down waving and hollering.

  “It’s her, Mum, it’s her!”

  Camila’s heart began to beat faster as the chopper’s rotors slowed. Racing across the grass, she saw Harriet jump down from the open door. She was running towards her. They were running towards each other. Meeting in a swirl of rain on the white chalked halfway line of the football pitch, both women peered at each other in the gloom. At that moment the helicopter’s spotlights snapped on, turning the playing field into a brilliantly bejewelled fairyland of gently falling rain. Harriet reached out for Camila’s hand. Camila took it between both her own. Whether it was colder than hers, she couldn’t tell, but the warmth in Harriet’s eyes as rain trickled down her cheeks made the night feel like a warm one in July.

  “It’s pouring,” Harriet said softly, smiling at Camila.

  “Is it still raining? I hadn’t noticed.”

  Harriet threw back her head and laughed. The sound made Camila’s heart turn a full somersault and she allowed herself to move into Harriet’s beckoning arms.

  “Let me ask you one thing,” said Harriet. “Do you think… after we’ve dried off, after we’ve spent lots more time together… you might agree—”

  Camila gasped. “You know it! You know the Four Weddings scene!”

  Harriet looked sheepish and nodded. “So… do you think…?”

  “I do!”

  The cheering from the neighbours gathered at the edge of the football pitch and the whooping of her sons barely got through the sound of the rain and Camila’s beating heart as Harriet took her wet face between wet hands and kissed her. Just like in the movies.

  THE END

  About the author:

  Lambda Literary Award finalist, Kiki Archer is the UK-based author of nine best-selling, award-winning novels. She was position 51 in the Guardian newspaper’s Pride Power List 2018 and position 18 in the Diva Pride Power List 2017.

  Her debut novel But She Is My Student won the UK’s 2012 SoSoGay Best Book Award. Its sequel Instigations took just 12 hours from its release to reach the top of the Amazon lesbian fiction chart.

  Binding Devotion was a finalist in the 2013 Rainbow Awards.

  One Foot Onto The Ice broke into the American Amazon contemporary fiction top 100 as well as achieving the lesbian fiction number ones. The sequel When You Know went straight to number one on the Amazon UK, Amazon America, and Amazon Australia lesbian fiction charts, as well as number one on the iTunes, Smashwords, and Lulu Gay and Lesbian chart.

  To
o Late... I Love You won the National Indie Excellence Award for best LGBTQ book, the Gold Global eBook Award for best LGBT Fiction. It was a Rainbow Awards finalist and received an honourable mention.

  Lost In The Starlight was a finalist in the 2017 Lambda Literary Awards best lesbian romance category and was named a ‘Distinguished Favourite’ in the Independent Press Awards.

  A Fairytale Of Possibilities won Best Romance Novel at the 2017 Diva Literary Awards and was awarded a Distinguished Favourite in the New York Big Book Awards.

  Kiki was crowned the Ultimate Planet’s Independent Author of the Year in 2013 and she received an honourable mention in the 2014 Author of the Year category.

  She won Best Independent Author and Best Book for Too Late... I Love You in the 2015 Lesbian Oscars and was a finalist in the 2017 Diva250 Awards for best author.

  Kiki’s 2018 ended on an incredible high winning ‘Best Author’ at the Waldorf's star-studded Diva Awards.

  Novels by Kiki Archer:

  BUT SHE IS MY STUDENT - March 2012

  INSTIGATIONS - August 2012

  BINDING DEVOTION - February 2013

  ONE FOOT ONTO THE ICE - September 2013

  WHEN YOU KNOW - April 2014

  TOO LATE… I LOVE YOU - June 2015

  LOST IN THE STARLIGHT - September 2016

  A FAIRYTALE OF POSSIBILITIES - June 2017

  THE WAY YOU SMILE - November 2018

  Connect with Kiki:

  www.kikiarcher.com

  www.twitter.com/kikiarcherbooks

  www.facebook.com/kiki.archer