Better With Ben

by Casey McMillin

  "Who cares? They're just coming by for a second. I think she just wants to check out Ben's new truck."

  "Hannah, I can't have company."

  "Sure you can. It's just Molly and Ben." Hannah had shared a few convenience kisses with Ben over the years, but was more like a little sister to him. To her, it was no big deal for them to stop by, but for Taylor was different.

  "I have to change," she said nervously. "And what am I gonna do with my hair?"

  Hannah laughed. "Don't worry about it. It's just Ben," she said. "He's the coolest ever. You'll see."

  "I'm still gonna run a brush through my hair," Taylor said. They picked up their drinks and Hannah followed Taylor to the bathroom.

  Hannah sat on the counter as Taylor tied her hair up, and put on some powder, mascara, and lip gloss.

  "Beau-ti-ful," Hannah said when she was done. "I won't point out that you didn't do all that when we ran those errands earlier, but now that Ben's coming over, you want to get all dolled up."

  Taylor glared at her. "You just did point it out, and I'm hardly all dolled up," she said. "And if you want to know why I didn't do it earlier, it's because we didn't know any of the people I'd be seeing when we ran errands, but we know Molly and Ben."

  Hannah smiled at how eager Taylor was to justify herself, but decided not to tease her about it. "I'm just messin' with you," Hannah said. "Ben's a really cool guy. I don't want you to be nervous or feel like you have to impress him."

  Taylor wasn't trying to impress him necessarily, she was just trying to avoid un-impressing him.

  She went into her bedroom where she traded the sports bra she was wearing for one with a little padding. She also changed shirts since she was pretty sure hers had a little ice cream on it from earlier when the blender wasn't closed completely.

  Hannah smiled at her transformation when she came into the living room, but didn't mention it. They both knew Taylor needed the distraction. It was nearly nine by the time Molly and Ben knocked on the door.

  Taylor ran across the living room to answer it. She had on black tights and a grey sweatshirt with the word peace written in black. It hung off her shoulders, showing the black tank she wore underneath.

  Molly, who had no idea about the dead body, smiled broadly when she opened the door. Ben was standing a little behind her, standing there sort of looking away as if he was just expecting to let the girls catch up. It was dark out, and the porch light shone on Molly, leaving Ben in the shadows.

  "Come on in," Taylor said, trying not to get caught catching a glimpse at Ben.

  "What happened?" Molly asked, taking in Taylor's cast.

  "Oh, I tripped and landed on it wrong," Taylor said simply. She moved to the side and they started to cross the threshold, but Molly stopped.

  "Let's show them your truck," she said, looking back at Ben.

  He made a face like they didn't need to do all that, but Molly ignored him. She looked back at Taylor and Hannah who were gathered in the doorway. "You have to see this truck," she said. "It's so boss I think it just drove us over here without Ben doing anything."

  Hannah looked at Ben and stuck her hand out.

  "What?" he asked, smiling.

  "The keys," she said. Their brother/sister relationship was obvious in his playful scowl. Taylor watched as he dug them out of his pocket and gave them to Hannah. The way he smiled as they took off toward the driveway was irresistible. He had Molly's golden brown eyes and dark hair that he wore in a short (although not Army short) haircut. It was long enough on top for him to have some sort of product keeping it in place. Taylor caught herself marveling at how sharp he looked. Then she remembered Molly was probably always grooming him for practice because she was still in beauty school.

  "I don't know what she's so excited about," he said. "Both of their boyfriends probably have one of these for every day of the week."

  Taylor had been thinking about his haircut and it took her a second to catch on to what he was saying. Hannah and Molly had already taken off toward the new truck and Ben was remarking about how rich their boyfriends were.

  Taylor wasn't rich.

  Every penny she had was earned, and if any money were to exchange hands between her and her parents, it would be her giving it to them and not the other way around. Taylor laughed. "I think they each have two or three cars, and that's fairly modest, considering."

  "Still overkill," he said.

  She smiled knowing he liked Nick and Jason but glad he was willing to joke about them being ridiculously rich.

  "Who's talking about overkill?" she asked, gesturing at the immaculate SUV. She looked at him like he was crazy for acting like he didn't have money. She'd probably never have the budget to afford something like the truck that sat in her driveway. She actually wasn't sure if she'd spend the money on it even if she did have it. Taylor just wasn't a car type of person. It didn't matter to her what she drove, and she couldn't imagine blowing that much money on a vehicle even if she could.

  Despite the poor lighting outside, it was easy to see how nice the vehicle was. Even in the dark, it shimmered and sparkled like it should have a Price is Right girl standing next to it gesturing at its grandness.

  Just then, Molly turned and motioned to it as if to ask what Taylor thought. Taylor cracked up at the sight of her Price is Right fantasy coming true.

  "That thing is brand spankin' new," Taylor said.

  Ben laughed.

  It was ridiculously shiny. He'd thought about looking for a dirt road to drive down so it wouldn't be so conspicuous.

  "Where'd you get this, Ben?" Hannah asked. She wasn't the type to beat around the bush and she knew Ben's job couldn't account for a truck like that one.

  "It's a company truck," Molly interjected.

  Ben would have said the same thing so he just nodded in agreement.

  "What company?" Hannah asked.

  "That landscaping place." Molly said.

  Ben wasn't planning on lying; he was going to tell them he had a government job from his experience with the Army. He was only working a day or two a week at the landscaping place, and that was just because he enjoyed it. His freelance job paid extremely well, and he didn't need the extra work.

  "What's it called? Hannah asked, obviously impressed.

  "All Seasons," Molly said.

  Hannah looked at Ben with a confused expression, but didn't say anything. Taylor watched the conversation knowing there was more to Ben's company truck than anybody was saying.

  "It's totally overkill," Taylor said. She gave him a teasing smirk as she crossed the last few feet to the truck. She got in the passenger's side. Hannah got into the driver's side and Molly in the back.

  Ben stood in the driveway, looking distractedly at a couple of bikes that were chained to a pole on the back porch. Hannah turned the lights on, causing Ben to squint and shield his eyes. She opened the door. "Can I start it?" she yelled.

  Ben threw a hand in the air as if he knew she was gonna do it regardless of what he said.

  "Thanks," she yelled. "We'll just be a minute."

  Ben picked up a basketball from the patio and used it to shoot a few hoops. The hoop had been lowered to accommodate a twelve-year-old and the ball was slightly flat, but he took a few shots while he waited for the girls, making seven or eight out of ten. Taylor acted like she was looking at all the buttons and features of the beautiful SUV, but she was really just agreeing with everything the other two girls said.

  She couldn’t take her eyes off of Molly's brother. He smiled as he made shot after shot on a basketball hoop Taylor had never even noticed was in her driveway. He moved like an athlete, and Taylor got lost in hoping he'd make the shot each time he sent it into the air. She also noticed, when his shirtsleeve lifted as he released the ball, that she'd been right about the tattoo being on the right side. Obviously, she didn't mention it since she wasn't supposed to be staring in the first place.

  "My brother has some rockstar Army job he's not telling
me about," Molly said from the backseat. She knew they wouldn’t buy the landscaping thing, and wanted to mention it while Ben wasn't around.

  "I was wondering how this came from that landscaping job." Hannah looked at Molly conspiratorially. "Is it secret agent stuff?" she asked.

  Molly's eye's got big. "I think so," she said, honestly.

  Hannah was considerate enough not to prod Molly for any more information. Molly was grateful although she didn't really know anything anyway. Taylor heard something about secret agent, but was basically oblivious to their entire conversation because she was so preoccupied with trying to steal glimpses of the big, handsome athlete out the front window.

  Chapter 7

  "Are you and Ben coming in?" Hannah asked as the girls made their way out of the new ride and back toward the house. She tossed the keys to Ben who caught and slid them into his pocket. He was wearing jeans and a light jacket with a hood, and boy was he all male. He radiated masculinity.

  "We really shouldn't stay long," Molly said. "I have school in the morning."

  "You have to come have a drink with me," Taylor said. "I had a bad weekend."

  Taylor probably wouldn't have said that if she wasn't already a little buzzed, but there it was; she said it. She waited for Molly to respond.

  "Are you talking about hurting your arm?" Molly asked.

  The four of them finished walking inside before Taylor answered. "Yeah that, and I just had a sucky day yesterday, that's all."

  She crossed to the kitchen and poured a little of the White Russian into a small glass which she held up for Molly. It was more melted than she liked, but it was still frozen enough to taste good. Molly took it from her and tasted a little sip. Taylor started to pour one for Ben but Molly stopped her.

  "I'll just give him this one," she said. "I wanted to see what it tasted like, but I can't have a drink. We really do have to be going. I just wanted to stop by."

  Molly's resolve made Taylor feel a little guilty—as if she had to explain. "I usually don't get wasted on Monday nights either," she said. She looked at both Ben and Molly when she said it. Both of them looked back at her as if she didn't owe them any sort of explanation, but she continued. "Something happened to me yesterday that I wish I could forget and Hannah was kind enough to try to help me do that."

  "Oh, well, now you've got me curious," Molly said. Her face showed her concern. "Is everything okay?"

  "Taylor found a dead body and had to report it to the police," Hannah said.

  Molly gasped and put a hand over her mouth. "Are you being serious?"

  "I wish she were kidding," Taylor said. "I'm not trying to freak you guys out or anything, I just wanted you to know why I'm sitting here in my pajamas getting drunk on a Monday night."

  Molly looked at Ben as if she were expecting him to say something.

  He shrugged a shoulder. "Where'd you find it?" he asked.

  "In a shed at a restaurant."

  Molly gasped again. "I heard somebody talking about that at school today," she said. "I think the guy who did it turned himself in or killed himself or something."

  Taylor's ears perked up when Molly said he killed himself. That would be the best-case scenario. She made a mental note to make one of her roommates look into it for her since she was too scared to look it up herself.

  "I can't believe you had something to do with that," Molly said. "Were you seriously the first person to find it?"

  Taylor let out a little laugh. "Well if someone saw her before me, they just left her there and didn't tell anyone because she was just laying in the shed when I found her."

  Molly whimpered at the thought. She still had her hand over her face, and she looked at her brother like he too should be shocked at everything they were hearing. "I can't believe it, Taylor. It's not even sinking in that you're serious right now."

  "That's how I got the broken arm," Taylor said. "I got so freaked out that my feet wouldn't even work right when I tried to run away."

  "I'm so sorry about all of this," Molly said sweetly. She looked at her brother to see if he'd chime in, but he just took in the conversation without saying a word.

  Taylor shrugged. "I guess I just never thought of myself as the type of person who'd find a dead body," she said. "I don't usually go poking around alleyways or dumpsters, or comb the bottom of a lake or anything."

  Hannah and Molly both smiled at her attempt to be light hearted, but Ben just looked at her. It was as if he could see through her facade to the hurt and fear that lay just beyond the surface. His penetrating gaze held hers for a couple of seconds before she broke the eye contact.

  Ben felt an insane urge to protect this girl he barely knew. He could clearly see the fear in her eyes, and he wanted more than words could describe to just reach out and hold her—to tell her nothing was going to hurt her. He had to remind himself that the gesture would be misunderstood by all three of the females in the room, and unless he wanted to hear about how much he had a crush on Taylor for the next year, he had to refrain from comforting her like he wanted to.

  He'd been in scary situations himself and been with a few soldiers who suffered a panic attack. Ben knew fear—had seen it in action plenty of times, and it was really hard for him not to try to help her somehow. He watched her try to change the subject and shrug it off like any tough girl would do, and wondered how her friends didn't see right through it.

  He stared at her, wanting to hear the words she was saying, but suddenly too distracted to do so. She had these full, pillowy lips, and he was staring at them thinking about how they looked nothing like the girl he dated in Germany. Katrina had long, blonde hair like Taylor, but the similarities stopped there. Katrina definitely didn't have those lips, he thought as he stared at Taylor and her somewhat convincible smile.

  Taylor was having a hard time keeping it together. Talking about the body made her start to feel the physical symptoms she now associated with panic, and she felt a surge of annoyance at knowing it was all psychological but being unable to control it. She could feel her heart rate speed up and the tingly feeling she got in her limbs that made her feel like her blood wasn't circulating right. She told herself it was all in her head—begged her brain to understand that her body wasn't failing, but the sensation was real enough to make her feel like she was on the verge of passing out. Shit.

  "I'll be right back, I forgot my phone in my bedroom," Taylor said. Once she rounded the corner and was out their sight, she began opening and closing her hands repeatedly as a means to get the blood to flow. She had the distinct feeling that she was about to pass out, and promised herself that if she just made it to her bedroom, she could get horizontal on the bed for a minute. Make it to the bed. Make it to the bed. This is all in my head. I'm making this up. I was just in the hospital. They had me hooked up to all sorts of things. If something had been wrong with my body, they would have told me about it. My body works fine and everything I'm feeling is in my head.

  She crashed onto her bed taking deep, controlled breaths. Breathe in for four seconds, hold it for four seconds, and breathe out for four seconds. Again. In 1,2,3,4, hold, 1,2,3,4, out, 1,2,3,4. All in my head. All in my head. They're waiting for me out there. Get it together.

  She did two more rounds of the breathing exercise, and after a few minutes, the tingling sensation that let her know a pass-out was looming finally subsided. She ran her hands up and down her arms and legs testing to make sure everything was working. Phone. I came to get my phone.

  She grabbed her phone and went to join Hannah, Molly and Ben in the living room. She was looking down at it when she opened the door, so she nearly bumped into Ben, who was randomly standing in the middle of the hallway. Taylor was startled and breathed in sharply at the sight of him, putting a hand to her chest.

  "Sorry," he said quietly. "They told me the restroom was back here."

  The location of the restroom was obvious. There was an open door right next to Ben. The light was on and the vanity could be c
learly seen.

  "Oh yeah, it's right there," Taylor said. She gave him that same smile—the one that was formulated to make everyone think she was fine. She turned and started toward the living room, but she didn't get very far.

  A big hand came around her shoulder turning her around. Before she knew it, she was caught up in his solid arms. For several long seconds, he just held her there. Taylor had been in pretend everything is fine mode, so her first instinct was to end the contact as quickly as she could and point him to the restroom. She started to pull back, but she just couldn't make herself go through with it. Being held by such a big, solid guy felt good to her senses, and she told herself there was no reason to be in such a hurry to end it.

  He held her tightly for what must have been at least ten or fifteen seconds before she truly let go and let herself enjoy it. She breathed a contented sigh and relaxed into his arms, wrapping her own arms around his waist. She was silently thanking him for the kindness, and he knew it. He squeezed her. Tears stung her eyes, but she held them back.

  They stayed in that hallway for what must have been two full minutes. At one point, she considered breaking the embrace just for the sake of getting back in there to Hannah and Molly, but it felt too good. In that moment, with big, strong Ben wrapped around her, she didn't fear anything—not the murderer, or even her own panic.

  The physical pressure of his arms around her inexplicably relieved the emotional tension she was experiencing. Taylor breathed easy in his arms, and she stayed there, enjoying the relief for as long as she thought she could. He held her tightly, never even letting up on the pressure, making it clear that he was willing to hold her as long as she needed to be held. She was thankful for the kind gesture, and would have stayed like that for hours, or even days or weeks, but she knew Hannah and Molly would be concerned about her if she didn't show her face.

  She pulled back and looked up to stare into Ben's kind eyes. He stared down at her patiently as if he were willing to stand there and hold her all night if she needed it. He was so handsome that, had she not been such an emotional wreck, she would have been really giddy and probably flirted with him. Instead, she looked up at him with an expression that she hoped conveyed her gratitude.