Better With Ben

by Casey McMillin

  "I think I'm going to go ahead and ride home with you," Taylor said. "I told Jack I'd come over there in the morning, and who knows what time I'll get home if I spend the night here and have to get a ride back to Nashville in the morning."

  "Okay, well I'm thinking about ten minutes or so."

  "Perfect," Taylor said.

  She felt Ben stiffen at her words, which made her feel like he would be disappointed to see her go. Honestly, she wasn't looking forward to going, but at that point it seemed like the wisest choice. She was all wound up with sexual tension for him and felt like she should leave before she did or said something stupid.

  Chapter 16

  Ben ended up walking Taylor and Gina to the car, but there wasn't really an opportunity for them to kiss without being obvious. Apparently, neither of them were in the mood to be obvious about it because they didn't wind up kissing that night. There were a few moments of extremely light PDA, but nothing she thought anyone would notice. So when she got in the car and Gina started grilling her about everything, Taylor was honestly surprised.

  "I can't believe you hung out with Ben all night," Gina said. "So are you guys dating or what?"

  Taylor looked at her from across the console like she was crazy. "No," she said defensively. "We didn't even kiss or anything. We barely even touched each other." maybe that last part was a little over dramatic, maybe she was just overcompensating since whatever touching they did do almost gave her a touch-free orgasm.

  "Oh, come on," Gina laughed. "You were talking to him all night. You didn't even talk to anyone else."

  Taylor felt bad thinking her friend might have felt like she abandoned her. "Did you not have fun?"

  Gina cracked up laughing. "No girl, I'm not saying that. You know I had all those people from work to talk to. I'm just saying, don't try to act like you barely talked to him tonight. You two were joined at the hip."

  Taylor let out a long sigh. "I don't know what to say. I don't really know what to feel. Neither of us are looking to hook up right now, but I like him. I'm tempted for sure."

  "How old is he?"

  "Twenty-four."

  "What's stopping you from hooking up?"

  "He's not really the boyfriend type I guess. Molly said he's got a lot going on with work and everything."

  "Landscaping?"

  "Yeah."

  "So neither of you want to get married? So what? It's obvious you're attracted to each other."

  "I don't know. I don't really think messing around would work. I think it could get ugly with me being friends with Molly and everything."

  "You're right. It's probably smart." Gina hesitated and then continued¸ "But you're gonna have to do a better job of steering clear of him, because tonight you both looked pretty locked in."

  "Locked in? What's that mean?"

  "You know, I'm just saying you both like each other and it was obvious."

  Taylor thought about that as they drove. She honestly didn't think they were obvious at all. They barely made physical contact with each other for crying out loud. They didn’t say any more on the subject. Gina turned up the radio and Taylor stared out the window, thinking about everything.

  ****

  Taylor had a text waiting for her when she woke up the next morning. It was 10AM and the text had come in thirty minutes earlier.

  Ben: "Hope I didn't miss the bus. If not, I'd still like to tag along."

  She was propped up on an elbow, and the words on the screen caused her to flop back onto the pillow.

  "Why's he so obsessed with seeing my dysfunctional family?" She said out loud. Her words came out like more of a moan since she was still waking up.

  Taylor: "Good morning early bird. I thought we'd get together this afternoon since it's supposed to be pretty."

  Ben: "What's the harm in letting me tag along? You've met Molly. I wanted to meet your siblings. That's what friends do."

  Ouch. For some reason the word friends coming from him had some sting to it.

  Taylor: "Molly's different. I knew her before I even met you. She's never met my family, neither has Hannah, and we're friends."

  Ben: "I'm coming over. I'll bring you to breakfast. If I happen to talk you into letting me come, then so be it.

  Taylor: "Yes to breakfast. No to the other."

  Ben: "I'll be there in thirty minutes."

  Taylor text back with two emojis—one of a stack of pancakes and one that was a smiley face with hearts for eyes.

  Thirty minutes later, there was a light knock on the back door. Taylor was in her closet still picking out what jacket to wear, but she was expecting him, so the short series of taps was enough to get her attention.

  She ran into the living room and opened the door to find Ben standing there. He was dressed in jeans and wearing his broken-in baseball cap.

  He smiled. "You ready?"

  "I still have to grab a jacket and turn off my flat iron, but yeah." She stood to the side. "Come on in," she said.

  He stepped across the threshold and found a place in the living room where he could wait for her to finish up. They were both careful to be quiet since her roommates were sleeping. Taylor left him standing there, gathered her things, and was ready to leave in less than two minutes.

  "Waffle House?" she asked on their way to his truck.

  "Sounds good," he said.

  The Waffle House they went to was extremely busy. It was a fun experience. They sat across from each other in a booth and ordered a ton of food, which they demolished. Their waitress was an older lady named Jane who was a riot. They laughed and joked with her throughout the meal and promised to come back and see her again. When they left, she told them what a beautiful couple they were. Taylor started to explain that they weren't a couple at all, but Ben put an arm around her and thanked the kind waitress for the complement.

  He opened the door for her when they reached the SUV, and she stopped to look at him before she climbed up. "Thanks for breakfast," she said. "If I'd have known you were buying, I would have ordered steak and eggs."

  "You want some steak?" he asked. "Let's go back in and get you one."

  Taylor laughed and grabbed her stomach. "I couldn't eat another bite," she said acting like she was in pain.

  "Give me the address to your mom's and I'll type it in the GPS." He tried to say the comment casually in an effort to slip it past her.

  "Nice try," she said. "I have to go to the grocery store first anyway."

  "I'm good with that," he said.

  "Which one do you want to go to?"

  "Kroger probably, but I'll do it on my way over to my mom's since I have to get milk and a few other things that need to stay cold." She'd been staring at her shoes while she was talking, and Ben used a finger to tilt her face to look at him.

  "Hey, I want to meet your family," he said.

  She instantly made a face, and he could tell a protest was the next thing out of her mouth.

  He spoke again before she could. "I don’t care what it's like. I promise I won't judge you."

  She smiled, but it was without real feeling. "You say that now, but that's not something you can help."

  "I don't care what it's like."

  "Fine," she said, throwing a resigned hand into the air. "But you're gonna hate it. I hate it. I'm just going by there to see my little brothers and sisters."

  "I know, and I want to meet them."

  "Why?"

  "Because. I don't know why."

  Taylor shrugged and stepped into the truck. She watched him walk around the front of it, feeling a little heartbroken that someone she liked so much was about to get scared off by her less than presentable mom.

  They stopped at the grocery store on their way across town. Taylor got a buggy when they walked in and immediately went to the canned food isle. Two by two, she put about eight cans of Chef Boyardee in the basket.

  "Can I help?" Ben asked.

  "You can grab ten cans of chicken noodle," she said. "Make sure
it's the kid kind. You know, the kind with the character noodles."

  "Why? They won't eat regular noodles?"

  "No, it's more like my mom and Charles won't eat kid noodles," she said. "I can't afford to feed them all, and if I get adult food, they eat it all."

  "Is it really that bad?" Ben asked.

  Taylor shrugged as if to say she tried to warn him. "Not really. They both have jobs, part-time at least—they just don't have their priorities straight with the way they spend their money. Anyway, I like to make sure the kiddos have some stuff to fall back on in the cabinet, and mom and Charles tend to steer clear of things that come in the shape of cartoons."

  Ben found the chicken noodle soup section a few feet down, and grabbed a dozen cans, all of which had character noodles.

  "What about the Boyardee?" he asked, pointing into the buggy. "That's not shaped like cartoons."

  "Yeah, but they leave it alone."

  Taylor also got six boxes of mac-and-cheese with kid-shaped noodles, two gallons of milk, a six-pack of toilet paper and a bag of chocolate chips. It was almost forty dollars in total, and Ben wanted to pay, but knew Taylor well enough to know that wouldn't fly.

  All four of Taylor's siblings ran out to meet her and Ben as they pulled onto the patch of grass and weeds next to the driveway.

  "You're late," said her ten-year-old sister Alexis. "Is that your boyfriend?"

  Taylor looked at the truck, horrified, but realized Ben hadn't opened his door yet, which meant he hadn't heard.

  "No," she said in a hushed tone as she hugged her little sister. "Don't talk like that in front of him, he's just my friend."

  "He's cute," Abby said. She'd heard the whole exchange with Alexis, so she whispered it.

  "Who's that?" Jack said. He wasn't as excited to see Ben as his sisters were, and didn't hesitate to stare at him as he got down from the truck and walked over there to meet them. Taylor leaned over to give little Henry a hug, and hadn't seen her mom and Charles standing in the doorway of the trailer.

  "What's wrong with your arm?" Charles yelled.

  Taylor cringed.

  "She fell," Alexis shouted back at him.

  Taylor's mom and siblings had seen the cast, but Charles wasn't around the last time she stopped by and had no idea what happened. Her family had no clue about the dead body fiasco, and she preferred to keep it that way.

  "I slipped at work," she said, agreeing with Alexis, and hoping to sweep it under the rug.

  "You can sue for that, you know. You should at least get you some workman's comp—specially if you broke your arm like that. Did you talk to a lawyer?"

  "No, I haven't talked to a lawyer, Charles, but thanks for the advice. That's good to know."

  "Who's your friend?" Taylor's mom said.

  "This is my friend Ben," Taylor said.

  "Ben, This is my mom Jennifer and her boyfriend Charles."

  "Fiancé," Charles corrected.

  "Fiancé," Taylor said.

  Ben walked over and shook hands with each of them before they all went into the trailer. Jennifer made a comment about Taylor cutting off all her beautiful hair, but Taylor ignored her. Abby and Alexis both said how much they liked it, and Taylor smiled really big at them without letting their mom see.

  Charles and Jennifer sat on the couch as Ben, Taylor, and the kids went into the kitchen. Taylor went to work putting the groceries away. Ben watched as she took the bag of chocolate chips and handed them to one of the girls. "Go hide this in your room," she whispered. The girl looked at it before smiling and taking off.

  The TV was up so loud that there was no way Charles and Jennifer could hear anything, but Taylor still spoke to her siblings in quiet tones.

  "How's school?" she asked her fifteen-year-old brother Jack.

  He shrugged. "I hate it," he said.

  "You have to keep up your grades, Jack."

  "Why?"

  "Why? We've talked about this. Scholarships."

  "I'm not going to college."

  "Don't say that," she said. "I know how smart you are, and I can help you as long as you keep working hard. You have to keep your grades up, though."

  "My grades are fine, but that doesn't really matter. Mom said I'm the man of the house and she can't wait till I can take a job."

  Taylor regarded him slack jawed. "You're not the man of the house, Jack. This house, this family, it isn't your responsibility."

  "Mom said—"

  "Mom's gonna say a lot of things to get you to stay right where you're at. She doesn't mean any harm, but I'll tell you right now, she's not the person you need to listen to."

  "Who should I listen to, then? You? You're telling me I shouldn't feel responsible, but here you are, still taking care of us." He gestured to her as she continued to put up groceries.

  "I do this for you guys. I do it because I want to, and I do it on my terms. I'm building a life for myself, Jack, and I don't make apologies about that—not to you or to mom or to anybody. The only reason I can bring this stuff to you guys is because I'm out there making it happen, which is exactly what you're gonna do too."

  He nodded.

  "Don't let her tell you you're the man of this house."

  He nodded again.

  "You're your own man."

  More nodding.

  "I'm not saying to stop looking out for the other three, because you're an amazing big brother and they need you to do that, but you have to set goals for yourself, Jack."

  "I know."

  "It starts with keeping your grades up, okay?"

  "Okay."

  "Why are you getting onto Jack?" Abby asked, only hearing the last part of the conversation since she'd been off hiding the chocolate chips. "We just got report cards Friday. He got all A's and only one B."

  "You did?" Taylor asked, looking at Jack. He nodded and she reached out to rough up his hair. "Why didn't you just say so? Good job, baby brother. How'd you do?" she asked, turning to Abby.

  "Three C's and the rest B's. One A in P.E."

  "What about you Lexie?"

  "I'm not saying."

  "Alexis got two D's," Jack said.

  "I did not."

  "Yes you did. Don't lie." Jack looked at Taylor.

  "Ask mom, she'll tell you."

  "Ask mom what?" Jennifer said from the doorway of the kitchen.

  "If Alexis made two D's on her report card." Jennifer smiled. "Yeah, that's my daughter," she said. "I never did like school either."

  Taylor wanted to say Lexie might like it if she had a little encouragement, but she kept her mouth closed. It was something she'd said a hundred times before, and it never changed anything. Ben kept his mouth closed as well. In fact, he hadn't said two words since they'd been inside. He was probably mortified, but there was nothing Taylor could do. At least she'd tried to warn him.

  Chapter 17

  Taylor spent the next hour washing dishes, scrubbing the bathroom and picking up around the trailer. Ben took the kids outside to play when she first started, and she'd been so busy that she hadn't even really peeked outside to see what they were up to.

  Usually when she came to visit, she'd spend a few hours or even half a day, that way she'd have time to clean and play with her brothers and sisters. With Ben there, however, she didn't want to stay that long. She was relieved that he took them outside so she could get the cleaning done quickly.

  The smell of ammonia from urine was the most predominant scent when they first came in, but by the time Taylor was done cleaning the bathroom and letting the trailer air out a little it was better. It still smelled like a daycare in there, but it was certainly a lot less offensive than when they arrived. Taylor hoped it wasn't as bad as she thought. She told herself she was just being overly sensitive to it since Ben was with her.

  Taylor took a good, long look at herself in the bathroom mirror before she went outside to find Ben and the kids. During the last hour, she'd worked herself up and was harboring resentment toward Ben for maki
ng her let him come there. He should not have seen any of this. The life Taylor grew up in didn't have anything to do with the person she was now, and she was pissed at him for seeing it.

  "Mom you have to do something about those little cockroaches. That's gross," she said, as she went back into the main area of the trailer where Jennifer and Charles were still sitting watching TV.

  "Charles got some spray, he just hattent used it yet," her mom said.

  "You can't leave food out," Taylor said. "That's why they keep coming back."

  She glanced at the television screen and realized they were watching some sort of murder mystery. There was a bloody, dead body surrounded by police tape. Taylor instantly started to feel lightheaded but reminded herself that it was all in her head and her body was, in fact, functioning properly.

  "And you shouldn't be watching this shit around the kids," she said. It may have come out a little more harshly than she intended, but she was already pissed and embarrassed about Ben being there and now she was having to look at dead bodies on the television screen.

  "Well, thanks for the advice Miss High and Mighty."

  Taylor wanted to say, "You're welcome, and you better start following it if you ever want to get your life together," but she bit her tongue.

  Just then, the door swung open and Abby ran in with a huge smile plastered on her face. "Ben has a big tattoo like The Rock, and muscles too. Henry asked him and he showed us it! He's so cool. He knows how to make a fire by rubbing two sticks together," she said. "He's gonna show us, but we have to find some special kind of grass or something. He told me to come in and get a piece of string."

  For crying out loud, this was out of hand already. Taylor gave her a regretful smile. "Oh no, Abbs, we're leaving, baby. I was just coming out there to tell y'all bye."

  Abby threw her arms up and slumped over dramatically. "Noooo," she moaned. "He said he could stay as long as you said."

  "Well I'm saying it's time to go now."

  Abby looked up at her sister with an expression of utter abandonment and hurt.

  "Ben's got stuff to do this afternoon," Taylor lied. "I would stay if it was just me, but he's got to be back."