Soul Decisions

by Casey Harvell

  Jack shrugs, “Eh, we all have our quirks, now don’t we?”

  I almost laugh despite my anger. Only Jack would describe glowing eyes as a quirk. It also makes me realize that it’s something only a sibling would say. I actually have a real flesh and blood brother—and the relationship I’d once had with Michael, but has instead sadly fizzled out.

  “The way I see it,” Jack continues. “Is that we don’t have much course of instant action—at the moment, I mean. Seeing as such is the case, maybe it’s time for us to blow off some steam instead.”

  He waits for my reaction. I weigh it out. He’s not wrong about us not having anything to do. Until Mom and Maddy break Elias’ hold on me, there won’t be much I can do.

  “So you’re saying take a break from saving the world to get hammered?” Jack nods. “We really should help with the research.” I point out.

  “Aye, but it’ll be there tomorrow, won’t it?” Jack proceeds, “c’mon, little sister. You need to take a break just as badly as I do, and you know it.” His accent intensifies with his excitement.

  “For Chris-sake, just go.” Cyrus says as he wanders around the corner. “I don’t want to hear him whine about it anymore.”

  “We’ll go with.” Max insists as he follows with Shay behind Cyrus. He never left after his visit with Shay, and it’s clear they too can both use a break from all this mystery and pressure. Even with Jack’s basement as HQ, his house seems smaller. The only apparent bonus is how much Bella loves my mom and Maddy. Jack blames it on them all being female, but I think she just feels safe around them.

  Despite the fact that I know I personally will have too much on my mind to have any semblance of fun, I agree. They need it and I owe them.

  Mom and Maddy decline gracefully which isn’t a surprise. I do make everyone promise to research their asses off in the coming days to which they quickly agree. Before I know it I’m on my way to a bar. At least they’ll be whiskey. It seems to dull part of the ache, at least for a little bit.

  The music inside is loud. It suits our needs. Our conversations will surely disturb any normal person who decides to hear enough and believe it.

  I slam down the first shot.

  My child is no more, never even having a chance.

  I slam down the second.

  Both Aether and Abyssus have been brought down.

  I slam down the third.

  Other versions of people in my life keep popping up.

  I swirl the fourth shot around its glass already feeling the effects of the first three well enough. I watch Maxwell lead Shay to the dance floor. They both grin. They’re so very much in love with one another. I don’t begrudge them it, never.

  I simply miss it.

  I pull out my phone and text my mom on Shay’s phone—something that both confounds and intrigues her. I ask her if the other me has any injuries. She says nothing they’ve seen but she’ll take a closer look.

  “Put that down.” Jack places my phone on the bar. “Drink that, and then take this.” He shoves another shot glass at me. “It’s time to see which sibling can drink the most.”

  “You were right!” Mom says exceedingly loudly—or at least so it seems. My head pounds in protest as the room’s gravity appears to shift about ever so slightly. “The marks were hardly noticeable, but I found them. Elias took her blood and I’m certain that’s the key to his hold over you.”

  Despite the hefty groan I emit, I manage to make it to my feet.

  “You smell like you drank like a sailor last night.” She covers her nose.

  “Likely more.” I mumble. I can’t recall which of us drank more, me or Jack, but I know it was damn close. “Can you make coffee? I need a shower.” Screw it. I poof into my apartment. Sometimes you just need to be home, and this is one of those times. I fumble through my hangover and manage to shower and dress myself before I poof back over to Jack’s. Mom has a steaming mug of coffee waiting for me.

  “Thanks,” I say and take a sip. “Okay, show me what you got.”

  She leads me to the living room and pulls up the sleeve on other me’s arm. “See, they’re barely visible, but clearly those three marks were made by needles.”

  “It’s almost like a machine made them, they’re so linear.” I notice as I examine them.

  “I’m going to get Maddy.” Mom says.

  It’s odd to be alone with myself in a very literal sense. My attention drifts over to Chase. I reach across the small coffee table and brush some hair from his forehead. He smiles ever so lightly and I freeze.

  I stand above Chase and place both my hands on his head, closing my eyes. It’s easier to feel the barrier with the physical contact. It reminds me of the weaves of a basket, or a finger-trap. The more you pull the tighter it becomes, but if you relax and move with it.

  My eyes open and Chase’s stare back at me. For the first time in what feels like forever, I laugh and genuinely mean it. Chase grins and pulls me down for a quick and somewhat surprising kiss. It’s not until I help him to sit up that I see the look of confusion on his face.

  Mom returns with Maddy just in time. “How?”

  I shake my head. “I think I can wake her up, too.” I tell them. I can see by the look on Chase’s face that he knows the difference between us... and that I’m not his first choice—at least not anymore.

  But what choice do I have when I owe him so much more than anyone else?

  I grab my head as I did with Chase. Well, not mine, other me’s head. It’s incredibly strange to say the least. It’s hard to relax, and the woven spell around the other me is much tighter than Chase’s. I struggle for more than a little bit when I feel a hand on each of my shoulders. As Mom and Maddy flank me, together we peel away layer by layer until it’s free and the other me’s eyes open.

  She looks up at me and screams loudly, something neither my head nor my hangover much appreciates.

  I watch in amazement at the pandemonium the sound of my scream brings. In some ways it’s almost humorous—I’m not much of a girly-screamer like this Lettie appears to be, but hell of it’s not a surefire way to fill a room. Almost instantly a gaggle of half-awake and fully hungover men pile in, ready for war. Once it becomes apparent there’s no active threat, they all sit and cradle their heads almost simultaneously.

  Only Cyrus still stands as he eyes Chase. I can understand his wanting to remain suspicious, especially now, but Chase is on our side. That much he’s proven.

  “Why doesn’t everyone get some caffeine in them and wake up a bit?” I suggest. “We can reconvene in the kitchen in ten.”

  Some answers are only grunts as everyone besides other Lettie, Chase, Mom, Maddy, and I shuffle off. Chase quickly moves over the couch beside other Lettie once he’s no longer under the scrutiny of Cyrus’s stare. She throws her arms around him. There’s certainly no denying the connection there. Chase’s gaze meets mine as they embrace and I can see the tear in him. I smile sadly, remembering the feeling all too well... and knowing in my heart that Chase is where he belongs.

  “You’re safe,” Chase tells other Lettie.

  “Do you remember anything?” Mom asks quickly.

  “Mom, let them be for a bit. Where’s your hospitality?” I remind her.

  “Sorry, this is just more excitement than I’m used to.” She says. “Let’s get you something to eat.”

  “I’m going to take a bit of a break, but I’ll be back soon.” I tell them, and without another word to anyone I poof away.

  It’s not jealousy. I know it very much would appear as such, but it’s not. It’s a slight lick at my pride, for sure, but if one of the men I love had to love someone else, at least it’s still kind of me.

  So while my pride stings a bit, it’s not jealousy. I’m happy Chase is happy. He deserves it.

  I miss Gabe. I miss him so much it that my heart aches almost as much as it does when I think about our child. Gabe. I just can’t understand the betrayal.

  How can someone be so sin
cere and then stop?

  Unless the sincerity is only ever to someone’s face, then I suppose it’s just normal.

  The waves crash into the cliff below me and the warm ocean mist hits my face. It’s nice to have the ability to go wherever I please whenever I please. Especially at times like this when I feel so very broken and ready to quit. Save the world, Lettie. Well, of course I have to. What kind of person lets the world end?

  Only no matter how many worlds I save, the one I return to will never be whole. Not after everything... and certainly not after this.

  There’s a small part of me that still rages, behind the pain that loss causes. That part of me screams for vengeance, not peace. That piece of me wants everyone to feel the same pain I feel.

  I blame Elias. Fully and completely. This is his doing, and I will ensure that he reaps what he sows.

  For a few more moments, I sit. In this time I manage to compose both myself and my feelings. I know what’s right and what I must do. I will do it because it needs to be done, and nobody else can.

  Besides, this is personal.

  This is family.

  I return to find a congregation in Jack’s kitchen. He mans the stove, while eggs sizzle and bacon pops. He has a frilly apron on and I’m not even sure why he owns it. It’s very uneven, but does seem to be taking the brunt of the grease spatter for him.

  Bella happily weaves through everyone, nabbing a bit of food here and there when someone offers it. If not for the reason we’re all here, it’d be a very nice morning. Well, aside from my doppleganger in the corner.

  The smells get me more than my stress does and I accept the plate my brother hands me. Food helps restore a bit of my equilibrium and beats my headache down to a more manageable level. I finish quickly and begin the dishes. Jack already cooked after all, only fair someone else takes on the clean-up.

  By the time I’m done everyone else moves to the living room. I join them in hopes for some answers to literally any of the questions we have.

  “Do you feel up to this?” Chase asks other Lettie. She nods. It bothers me—how meek she appears.

  “It’s okay.” She assures him, though gives me a side-long glance. “You’ll have to excuse me. This is more than a little strange. Despite how much I’ve heard about you from Chase, I never thought I’d actually meet you.”

  “It’s alright. I understand...it freaks me out too.” I admit.

  She gives me a tight smile. “I suppose you want to know how we came to be here. Out of the blue one afternoon a gentleman appears before me wrestling my sister. Only she wasn’t my sister, she only looked as she does.

  “It certainly takes some time to figure everything out, but once we decided Chase was telling the truth they took your Eunice away for safe keeping... and Chase was released to me. See, at the time I had my abilities. They were nothing as yours are because I had no ritual. But then I also had no Gabe. Things are very different here.” Other Lettie glances around nervously.

  “What do you mean, had your powers?” Maddy asks.

  She smiles almost sheepishly, glances at Chase and blushes before she continues. “I—we—made a decision soon after Chase came to stay with me. We fell in love, but everything became very confounded until...”

  “We were given a choice by the powers that be to either retain our abilities and remain alone, or choose to live as regular mortals together. We chose the latter.” Chase finishes, giving other Lettie’s hand a squeeze.

  “We were very happy, until a man arrived who looked like my father, but like Eunice was not the father I know. He stole me. Chase tried to save me, but instead we both ended up here.” Her eyes darken.

  “At first I didn’t realize Elias brought us back here.” Chase says. “He kept us in that place.”

  “The bunker?” I ask.

  Chase nods. “I presume. Underground would make sense.”

  “What’s he doing down there, anyway?’ Jack asks.

  “There were a lot of tests at first.” Other Lettie says. “Scientific ones... They took blood samples. Then he took me to a large room with a big machine. He latched my palms to it, but nothing happened when he turned it on. He was very angry, and it only worsened when I told him I no longer had any powers. He struck me, and I woke up here.”

  “Do you remember anything else?” I ask Chase without making eye contact.

  “They knocked me out right away, but the place they took me to—the pod they put me in? Lettie, there were more than just a few. There were hundreds.”

  Crap.

  My brain ticks through facts as I pace the beach. Somehow all more pieces of the puzzle accomplishes is to create even more questions.

  What the hell does Elias have in all of those pods? Or better yet, who?

  Other Lettie and Chase’s story leaves only convinces Maddy further that my blood—that is other Lettie’s blood—is what Elias uses against me to control me. The problem is we still don’t know how, or how to stop it.

  Whatever my father has going on is big, much bigger than I originally thought. I worry if I don’t figure it all out soon that it’ll be too late.

  Bella barks and zooms around me. She thinks the fast pace I set back and forth is a game. She has no idea how much I wish she was right.

  “Isn’t beach erosion already a thing, love?” Jack asks and I sigh.

  “It’s so frustrating.” I say with a huff. “I don’t want to wait. I want to take action now.”

  “But pops has power over you, and that is a problem.” Jack points out and gives me an idea.

  “Only if he thinks it does.” I finally stop pacing.

  “Why do I have the feeling that you’re going to convince me to do something more than a wee bit dangerous?” The excitement is plain in Jack’s voice.

  “I know Mom and Maddy want to wait—and I understand their reasoning, I do. Only what will the cost be if we do?”

  “What are you thinking?”

  “Let’s take a page from our father’s book.” I tell my brother. “Let’s think like him and set up a trap of our own.”

  “What about you?” Jack is strangely serious for once. “He can hurt you, Lettie.” His concern is real.

  “That’s what I have you for, big brother.” I slap his shoulder to accentuate my point. “If it gets too bad, rip his head off.”

  Jack grins. “That I can do.”

  “Good. I figure worst case we get a couple more people out of that pod-hell he has going on there. Best case, we take him out and end this now.”

  Jack nods before he groans. “We’re taking the Cerberus with us though, eh?”

  I laugh. “I know you and Cyrus are as different as night and day, but he’s a good person to have on our side.”

  “Aye, but can he keep his mouth shut?”

  It’s my turn to grin. “He can if we leave him no choice.”

  “Why little sister, I do believe I’m rubbing off on you.” Jack says with a large, slightly wicked smile.

  Cyrus comes along with no questions. When he notices the signs for the Everglades he frowns, but says nothing. Eventually curiosity overwhelms me and I call him out on it.

  “I figured you’d have something like this planned.” Cyrus says with a shrug. “You tend to be quite headstrong. I’m just happy to be here to have your back.”

  I’m not sure how to reply, so I don’t. He’s not wrong.

  Jack chuckles. “One day I want to hear stories about my sister.”

  Cyrus laughs. “Oh, I have plenty.”

  “Hey,” I interject. “Nice to see you two finally bonding and all, but do you think you can do it over something different?”

  They both pause before they say no at almost the same time. I shake my head and give up. Luckily before Cyrus can get anything out we arrive at our parking spot. The change in our mood is palpable. It’s game time.

  “We should split up.” I say, knowing their reactions as I do.

  “You shouldn’t be alone, Lettie.” Jack sa
ys.

  “Hear me out,” I push on. “Jack you keep me in sight. If it gets too bad, you know what to do—but we have to give Cyrus a chance to get some of those people out of here.”

  They both work their jaw muscles. They know I’m right, that it’s a solid plan... maybe the only plan. I distract Elias, they save others. The only reason I don’t have Jack help Cyrus is because I know he won’t leave me. But Cyrus is big and very strong. Add in his speed and he should be able to handle it.

  “I don’t like it.” Cyrus says.

  “Do you have a better idea?” I ask. “I can take it, guys. I wouldn’t be here otherwise. Let’s let him think he has me, maybe on top of freeing some of these poor pod-people we’ll get some more information.”

  Cyrus sniffles loudly in slight disgust, but doesn’t argue further. “Let’s get on with it then.”

  Jack loudly smacks a mosquito on his neck. “Please.”

  I lead. Jack follows shortly behind me, but he allows the distance between us to grow until he’s out of my sight. I decide the front door will seem too obvious and begin to circle the area in search of another exit. I figure if anything it’ll give Cyrus the chance he needs.

  It doesn’t take long for me to feel Elias’ presence. This means I know that he feels mine as well, because he must allow it. I couldn’t find him last time. I crack my neck in remembrance of the pain our last encounter brought, but I’m resilient and recover quickly. I’m ready for him this time.

  He appears quickly. “Dear daughter, you’ve come to visit.” He practically sneers. “And all by yourself, tsk, tsk.”

  The pain follows. It hammers through my skull and down my spine, incapacitating everything in its path. As much as part of me wants Jack to rip his throat out, I use my abilities to tell him to stay back. I know my limits and want to give Cyrus as much time as possible.

  Elias seems to think that the pain will overcome me, but he doesn’t realize that this physical pain is nothing in comparison to what already lies inside me from everything he’s taken. My legs won’t hold me, but while he can cause me physical pain he can’t control the power that lies within me. I use my abilities to hold myself upright. When our eyes lock his change from smug to fearful... he doesn’t expect the strength I show. I use it to my advantage as I lock our gazes and warp time unbeknownst to Elias. Every second we spend like this, minutes fly by around us. I hope Cyrus moves quickly.