by Dawn Norwell
“The Syndicate tells you that we’re full of diseases, right?” he asked, and I nodded. “Well, what they don’t tell you is that the unsuits who do have diseases only have them because of the Syndicate. They infect our people, similar to how white immigrants infected the Native Americans when they first arrived in this country, except the Syndicate does it deliberately.
“Every few years, when they feel we are getting too populated, the Syndicate sends a TIM to drop canisters of some unknown contagion on our people. We never know when they’ll do it, where it will happen, or how many of our citizens it will affect, but we know it’s coming.
“Since we don’t have access to the vaccinations Concord has, the diseases spread like crazy, typically killing a large portion of unsuits in the process. We’ve tried everything we can think of to prevent this, but nothing has helped. We just have to sit by and watch our people die without being able to do anything to stop it,” Zander said, his hands clenched into angry fists.
I gasped at his words. “Why would the Syndicate do that?”
Zander shrugged. “To keep us in line, I suppose. They want us to know that they still control us, despite our being banished from their walls. And because they know that, if our population kept growing at the pace it has been, we would eventually be able to overpower them in battle. They don’t want a war because they know we’d win,” he said proudly.
“Instead, they try to repress us at every turn so that the opportunity never arises. The Syndicate has tried to eliminate us in every passive-aggressive way they could think of, and it hasn’t worked, so now they’ve resorted to dropping nuclear weapons.”
This idea terrified me. Had I really been born in a place where such an atrocious government ruled? It was no wonder the people in Nova hated us and everything we represented. I was always taught to be repulsed by unsuits, but it seemed suits were the real animals here.
“I just can’t fathom dropping weapons on an unsuspecting city. I mean, there are innocent people here, children!”
Zander scoffed. “The Syndicate doesn’t care about our children. In their eyes, all unsuits are filth, no matter their age. It’s why I would never bring a child into a world where they are viewed as lesser than others or had to risk starvation and death each day,” he said, shaking his head. “No, I would rather use my time advocating for unsuits’ rights, and undoing the damage that the Syndicate has done to our people.”
I couldn’t say that I blamed Zander for wanting to focus more on his career than family life. If I had to endure the things that he did, I’m sure I would have similar sentiments towards the subject.
How many unsuits have had to watch their loved ones die at the hands of the Syndicate, completely powerless to prevent it? Though suits were brainwashed to hate unsuits through government influence, the people of Nova had come to loathe us for legitimate reasons. After hearing Zander describing the atrocities the suits had committed, I could understand why. If I were on the outside looking in, I would hate me, too.
“Despite all this,” Zander continued, “despite the decades of repression, there are still a lot of unsuits who envy what the suits have. If given the chance, they would return to Concord, and forgive the Syndicate for everything that they’ve done,” he said with disgust.
I wondered if he was speaking from personal experience. I shook my head, unable to fathom it. How could people long for a life in Concord knowing what they know? I couldn’t picture it.
“Concord isn’t as wonderful as it seems. The world the Syndicate has depicted is a lie,” I explained. “If only people knew the truth, they would never consider trading this free world for a life of suppression. Sure, I had a dome over my head to protect me from the outside world, but I had to hide parts of myself to survive.
“Things are different for you in Nova. Here, you have choices. You can do what you please and be whoever you want to be. That’s not something to be taken for granted, which is why I don’t understand this front you put on around other people. You should show your true self and let the other unsuits get to know the real you. I think it would make you a better leader.”
He narrowed his eyes skeptically.
“I know that you want to be the head of Nova one day. Ximea told me so,” I admitted, ignoring his grumbled expression.
“Of course she did,” he sighed. “She’s not wrong. But that’s why it’s even more important for me to behave like the person Nova expects me to be.”
I scoffed. “What good would governing Nova be if you have to hide half of who you are? It isn’t fair to you or anyone else, for that matter. You need to let your people see you for who you are. They’ll respect you more for being honest with them, and will relate to you better because you’re genuine. I guarantee it will make you a better leader,” I said. “Don’t squander your freewill in Nova by pretending to be someone else. This version of you is who the people want to see. Not someone else who, if I’m being honest, can be a total asshole.”
He gave me a large grin. “You think I’m an asshole?”
“I think the Zander I met when I first arrived in Nova is an asshole. The Zander who saved me in the bathroom, who volunteered to bring me my meals while I’m imprisoned, the one who I see sitting in front of me, apologizing and showing his true self, I think this Zander is a good guy, who needs to stop being afraid of letting that version of himself show to the rest of the world.”
Zander contemplated this for a moment, fidgeting uncomfortably with his hands. I could see in his eyes that he was going through some sort of internal struggle.
“I think you’re the first person who has ever been this blatantly honest with me,” he admitted. “People usually walk on eggshells when I’m around, afraid they’ll be restrained if they piss me off. It’s refreshing to hear honesty for a change.”
“I’m glad I can be of service,” I laughed.
Without thinking, I reached out and squeezed his hand reassuringly. He stiffened, his smile fading as he stared at my hand on his. I jerked away, immediately, realizing my mistake. Ximea had comforted me this way when I was sick in the hospital, as had Athena when she rescued me from the underground prison. It seemed harmless, like a friendly gesture to reassure someone, but clearly, Zander and I weren’t there yet.
“I should go. I’ve got a meeting,” he mumbled, getting to his feet. Before I could register what was happening, he was already walking out of the apartment door.
I groaned, aggravated with myself for ruining things. Zander and I were having a nice conversation and were getting to know one another on a deeper level. For a brief moment, it was almost like we were two normal people learning to be friends, rather than sworn enemies. But the sad truth was that no matter how much we talked, no matter how much we got to know one another, the fact that I was a suit and he was an unsuit would always remain at the forefront of his mind.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN: FOES TO FRIENDS
I knew that I’d made Zander uncomfortable, but it bothered me that he saw himself in such a negative light. Even with my adverse experiences with him, I could see through his tough façade to the gentle soul inside.
Would the two of us ever be friends? Probably not. Had he made some poor decision and said some hurtful things? Yes. But that didn’t mean there wasn’t a good person deep down.
With a sigh, I went into the small library and began skimming the volumes for something to read. I opted for a book of poetry, settling into a chair nestled in a small nook of the living room. As I read, one poem, in particular, stood out to me:
Violence is for the feeble, the weak, the faint of heart,
Revenge is for the ignorant and small-minded man,
Powerful is the observer, the overt, the omniscient,
He who loves the unlovable and forgives the unforgivable,
Who shows his adversary unreciprocated humanity,
Only compassion and kindness can lead to harmony.
An eye for an eye would make the whole world blind.
<
br /> I pondered these words, thinking back to the incident from a few days before. I shivered as I recalled the pain and fear that coursed through my body as I lay on the bathroom floor, alone and afraid. If Jax and his friends were in front of me right now and I had the chance for vengeance, what would I do? Would I retaliate- an eye for an eye- or would I turn the other cheek?
I would like to think that I’d be the bigger person, that I would let it go and move on, but the more I thought about it, the angrier I became. Had Zander not intervened when he did, things could have ended up much worse. I wasn’t sure I could allow my emotional wounds to heal before my physical ones had.
I put the book back on the shelf with a huff. The only person who deserved my forgiveness was Zander. He protected me when he didn’t have to. He’d stood up to Jax when he was in the wrong, and he had the black eye to prove it.
I enjoyed seeing this new, vulnerable side of Zander, the man who could admit when he was wrong, who smiled when I called him an asshole, who was trying to set his negative sentiments aside and be kind to me, a suit, despite the bleak past he’d had with my kind.
As the day passed, I found myself pacing around the suit and checking my watch every hour or so. I wasn’t sure why I was so anxious, but then I realized that I was checking for dinner time, eager to see Zander again.
Idiot.
Although I was still suspicious of Zander’s intentions, I couldn’t help but smile when I thought of him. It was almost like he was a new person, one I could see myself getting along with. He was right that I didn’t know him, but I would like to get to know him if he’d let me.
That night, when I heard the familiar knock at the apartment door, I ran to the living room and threw open the door. I smiled when I opened it to see Zander standing in the doorway, a look of surprise on his face.
His forehead creased with concern. “You need to be more careful. The people of Nova are still upset with you, you know,” he said, stepping over the threshold.
I rolled my eyes. “I knew it was you. Believe it or not, suits are capable of reading a watch, too.”
“You were waiting on me?” he asked, humor dancing behind his eyes.
“No,” I lied, knowing that my blush gave me away.
Zander gave a crooked half-grin that sent my heart fluttering. He didn’t comment on how eager I was to see him or my scarlet face as he sets the tray on the living room couch.
I glanced down to see that there are two plates instead of one. I looked at him curiously.
“I was thinking we could eat together, if that’s okay,” he said. I stared at him for a minute, at a loss for words. Zander wanted to have dinner? The same Zander, who made it clear last week that we could never be friends?
Zander shuffled nervously from foot to foot. “If the idea makes you uncomfortable, I can leave,” he muttered, hastily gathering the other dish before I could respond.
Without thinking, I grabbed his arm to stop him. He looked down at my hand on his wrist, shifting nervously. I let go, mortified that I’d touched him again. It was like he was a magnet that pulled me in. I knew it made him uneasy, but I couldn’t seem to keep my hands off of him.
“I would love it if you stayed. I could use the company,” I admitted. After what happened the previous day, I was worried he would flee the room again. I let out a sigh of relief when his shoulders relaxed.
“Okay,” he said, sitting on the brown sectional. His uneasy expression disappeared, though his shoulders remained tense, and his eyes guarded.
“I feel bad about everything that has happened since you arrived,” he said, taking a bite of roasted potatoes. “I promise that unsuits are usually more hospitable than this.”
“Just not to suits?” I muttered.
Zander shook his head. “I’m sorry, Kai. My people haven’t been very fair to you since you arrived here, myself included.” He looked away, contrite. “I was hoping I could get to know you better. I feel like I’ve been judgmental of you, of all suits. I would like to remedy that.”
“Alright,” I said skeptically. “What do you want to know?”
“Why did you leave Concord?” he asked, a hint of envy in his voice, genuinely confused as to why I would give up my privileged life just to warn them about the attack.
I sighed and picked at my dinner. “I couldn’t live with the guilt of knowing people were going to die and that there was something I could do to stop it.”
“But you don’t even know us,” he said, still perplexed on why I would do such a thing. “You could have gotten caught trying to escape the dome, or died in the wastelands, and for what? We were strangers to you. You owed us nothing.”
“So?” I said between bites of chicken. “You’re still people, no matter what label the Syndicate gave you. I knew the risks involved, but I had to at least try.”
“Strange,” he said, his brows furrowed in thought. “You’re not like any other of the other suits I’ve met. Most wouldn’t stop to help us if they passed us bleeding on the street. You’re… different.”
“Thanks,” I said with a playful laugh. But guilty knots formed in my stomach at the admiration in his eyes. Did I deserve to be held in such high esteem?
If I was honest, I wasn’t sure saving the unsuits was my only motive for leaving Concord. Had I escaped the dome more so to save Nova, or to save myself? It had been a convenient excuse to leave, to make a fresh start. I felt guilty seeing the admiration in Zander’s eyes when I wasn’t sure I deserved it.
Of course, Lei hadn’t exactly given me a say in the matter. The task just sort of fell into my lap. But thank God it did, because now I knew that there was an entire world beyond the dome. Even if the Syndicate captured me, I wouldn’t change a thing. I couldn’t go back to a life of ignorance. I knew that Nova existed now, and I was a better person for it.
Regardless of the consequences, I knew I’d made the right decision coming here. The idea brought a smile to my face. No matter my reasons for escaping to Nova, I was glad that I’d done so. I helped save their community, yes, but Nova had also helped save me.
When I glanced up, Zander was still staring at me. I cleared my throat, biting back my emotions.
“The truth is, I always felt out of place in Concord,” I admitted. “I couldn’t see things the way that my peers did. My brain just doesn’t seem to work that way. I could never fathom why we did the things we did, or why others accepted the Syndicate’s verdicts without question. Every moment inside the dome was excruciating. I was constantly on edge, worried that the Syndicate would realize that I was different.
“Each passing day took a little more out of me. Existing in constant paranoia and trying to survive is no way to live. Sure, I never had to want for any of the necessities of life, but suits are repressed in many other ways. The Syndicate took all of our choices away- our careers, who we could marry, even our own thoughts. We had no control over our lives. I was suffocating, drowning when there was no water. I just couldn’t do it anymore. The Syndicate’s declaration of war against Nova was that final push I needed to get out.”
“That’s the problem with the Syndicate- they don’t accept anything short of perfection,” he scoffed, rolling his eyes. “Nova is the opposite of Concord. We embrace what others see as ‘abnormal’. Our entire city was founded by people who couldn’t reach Syndicate standards. Our ancestors knew we could never get back into the city because of the dome. If by some sheer luck we did make it through Concord’s defenses, our imperfections would be a telltale sign that we shouldn’t be there. The unwanted freckles, unflattering birthmarks, undesirable hair- these were all signs that we didn’t belong. We had no choice but to make it work out here in the wastelands.
“That’s the reason why your government is so terrified of people in Concord learning the truth. The Syndicate wants the suits to think they are some holy entity that is saving them. They wouldn’t want to admit how well the unsuits have prospered outside of their control, how those who were dis
carded outside the dome have survived without them. Our lives have been hard, I can’t deny that, but we persevered with no outside help.
“The Syndicate was naïve enough to think we would die in the wastelands. I’m sure it’s infuriating for them to see how many of us persevered without their help,” he said, delight dancing in his eyes.
Though I didn’t know him well, I knew that Zander would have never made it inside the dome. He was too much of a free spirit to be tamed the way suits were expected to be. The Syndicate would have beat this individuality out of him, and they would have failed. He would have been deemed a threat, would have been tried in the Ceremony of Sanctions at a very young age, and most likely killed for his willfulness.
I shuddered at the image of the small, blue-eyed boy, being punished in front of all of Concord.
I shook my head, trying to jostle the picture from my mind. I didn’t want to think about Concord or the Syndicate any more. The idea only made me angry, having recently learned about their transgressions. Instead, I was eager to learn about this new world that I hadn’t even known existed until a week ago.
**********
Zander and I took turns asking each other questions for the rest of the evening. A lifetime of horror stories about the unsuits was expunged from my mind. I learned more about Nova than I ever dreamed possible, and absorbed just as much about Zander, as he slowly let me in. I found myself leaning forward, engrossed by his words, laughing at his jokes until my eyes watered, and my sides ached. I realized that I liked him as a person when he wasn’t trying to kill me.
Zander’s eyes widened with surprise as I explained life inside the dome. I’m sure he thought things were glamorous in Concord, just a bunch of suits living the good life, and having access to anything we wanted, while his people starved. No wonder they thought we were the enemy; this was exactly what the Syndicate wanted unsuits to think. They wanted to create a sense of animosity and distrust between the two groups so we could never see the truth for what it was.
