by L. A. Fiore
“Hey, Doc.”
“Abel.”
“What are you doing?”
“Like at this immediate moment, or this year, or my goals for life?”
“Smart ass. Right now?”
“I’m going on a trail.”
“By yourself?”
“Yeah.”
“Where’s your roommate?”
“She’s off with friends.”
“And you didn’t go.”
“Horses were involved, I don’t ride horses, just tend them.”
“What trail are you taking?”
“Tongue River Canyon.”
“Are you getting lunch?”
“As much as I’m enjoying the twenty questions, is there something you want?”
“I’m coming with you.”
To say those words didn’t excite me would be a lie. “Why?”
“You don’t know the area and, as a rule, you never hike alone.”
“I was going to join up with a group.”
“I grew up here, I know it better than any of the trail guides. I’ll take you.”
“Why?”
“Why do you keep asking me that?”
“I just don’t understand why you’d want to…” even if it was the best idea ever.
“Baby, you’re asking me why I want to spend the day alone with you in the wilderness?”
Baby, I never cared for that endearment but hearing that word roll off his tongue in regards to me, I freakin’ loved it. To hide just how much, I rolled my eyes. “I walked right into that one.”
“Yeah, you did. Get me an Italian hoagie?” He had already walked away, in search of junk food no doubt. Instead of putting up a protest, I placed an order for two Italian hoagies.
The man had a metabolism much like Rylee’s by the amount of junk he piled on the checkout counter. “We’re only going for a few hours.”
“If I have my way, it’ll be more like a few days.”
If only. “A dreamer, that’s sweet.”
His response was a head back howl of laughter. He pulled out his wallet; I tried to pay for my stuff, he wouldn’t let me.
“Follow me home. I’ll drop my bike and we’ll go in your car. But I’ll drive.”
“Why?”
He looked at me out of the corner of his eye, because I had once again asked why. “First, no woman rides on my bike unless she’s mine. And I don’t ride passenger in any car.”
“I rode on your bike.”
“Extenuating circumstances.”
“Why don’t you ride passenger?”
“Because I’m a man.”
“Well, I’m glad you know the difference between male and female, but so what?”
“I have a dick between my legs, I fucking drive.”
“And if you’re in the car with another man?”
“I still drive.”
“What do you do, whip them out and compare. The manlier man gets to drive?”
“Whip it out? Talking dirty, I like it Doc.”
“You never grew out of puberty, did you?”
“I did. I’d be happy to show you just how far from puberty I’ve come. Play on words intended.”
“Nothing about you makes sense.”
The teasing abruptly stopped, his tone almost confrontational. “What the fuck does that mean?”
“You should piss me off every time you open your mouth.”
“And I don’t?”
“You did, but you’re growing on me because now I find you oddly charming.”
He was right back to teasing. “Charming? Me? I can work with that. Now get your ass in the car. We’re burning daylight.”
Opening my door, I didn’t climb in but instead called to him. “Hey, Abel.”
His head turned, “What?”
“You got through that entire exchange and only said fuck twice.”
He flashed me that smile before he climbed onto his bike. Following behind him, we were heading to the other side of town, but not the cabin I had been to. We traveled to an area so remote I’d be perpetually lost if I lived here. We pulled down a long drive and tucked within balsams was a cabin. Abel pulled up to the small garage, parking his bike inside before locking it up. He walked to the driver’s side.
“Scoot your ass over.”
“What is this?”
“What do you mean?”
“This is your house too?”
“This is my place. I come back to Sheridan at least once a year so I decided to invest in one. The other place I’m renting for Carly.”
I wanted to ask why. I really wanted to know why if she was his girlfriend he rented her a place. I was beginning to think I’d been wrong about the whole girlfriend thing, but I so didn’t want to get into that now. Instead, I scooted over.
We started back the way we came. “This thing needs a tune-up. Fucking Jimmy. Next time you’re off, Doc, I’ll take a look at it and don’t ask me why.”
I had been about to ask him just that. Instead I said, “Okay.”
That earned me his attention. “No arguing?”
“I’m learning there isn’t a point with you.”
“Quick study.”
“I heard you build custom motorcycles.”
“Are you asking around about me?”
“Maybe.”
The noise that came from him could only be called a growl. His hands tightened on the steering wheel.
“Is something wrong?”
“Why did you walk down that alley?”
I wasn’t expecting that question. “You were hurt.”
“You couldn’t see me, not until you moved into the alley. What made you move into the alley?”
How did I answer that? Did I tell him I could physically feel when he was near?
“Answer me.”
The force of those two words had the truth rolling off my tongue. “I felt a charge in the air, like electricity. I’d never felt that before and I was curious.” And I hadn't. As much as I loved Jake, felt all kinds of wonderful sensations in his presence, I never felt him before I saw him. That was uniquely Abel's.
I’d been looking out the window; at the light, he touched my chin to bring my gaze to his. “Never?”
“Well, that day at the bakery when I saw you for the first time. I felt it then, knew it was you in that alley.”
He pulled the car over to the side of the road, slammed it into park before rubbing his hands over his face.
“What am I missing?” I asked because the man looked conflicted.
“How long were you married?”
The mood in the car had taken a radical turn and it was because it had that I found myself answering him. “Jake and I married right out of high school.”
“And he died three years ago?”
“Yeah.”
“Why didn’t you tell me you were a widow?”
It seemed I was unable to hedge with him, my mouth opened and the truth came out, again. “At first I didn’t think it was any of your business and later I needed the boundary between us that Jake created.”
“Why?”
It was like he slipped me truth serum. “Because what you make me feel scares me.”
His inhale in response sounded painful. “Have you taken a man to your bed since him?”
That was really none of his business.
“I can tell from that look that you haven’t. Fuck.”
“Abel?”
He pulled the car back onto the road, but instead of the comfortable conversation we’d been enjoying, it felt as if a wall had gone up. We pulled into the recreational center and Abel helped me gather my things. He led me into the building and inquired after the tour times. Odd since he had boasted about knowing the trails better than any guide, which meant he wasn’t joining me.
“You’re not coming.”
“No.”
“Can I ask why the change of heart?”
He lowered his head, his voice a soft whisper. “I wa
nt to fuck you. I’ve never wanted to fuck a woman as badly as I want to fuck you.” He moved even closer, his big body surrounding me as he seduced me with his words. “I want to push you up against that wall, drop to my knees and run my tongue along your sweet heat. I want to slide my hand down your spine and over your ass as I’m settled between your legs, driving into you from behind. I want you on your back, legs spread, and your eyes on me when I’m buried so deep inside you that I become a part of you. I want you on your knees in front of me for real, but I won’t offer you a ring or my name. Hell, I’m going home in a few weeks. And a woman like you, I think you need the ring and the name or at least the expectation of them to come. You walked down that fucking alley and offered to help a stranger for no other reason than because you’re you. I’d be an even bigger dick than I already fucking am if I returned that kindness with a no-strings fuck no matter how fucking fantastic that fuck would be.”
No one had ever spoken to me with such raw candor and never in my life had I been as turned on as I was in that moment. I felt my pulse pounding in places I hadn’t felt much of anything in three, long years. Knowing that he felt it too, that it was mutual the overwhelming need to taste and touch, thrilled me, but I also felt a staggering sense of relief that he was pulling back because I was in way over my head with him. Trying to form a reply was impossible so I asked, “How will you get home.”
“I’ll walk.”
I felt the tears so I tried for levity. “You made up for the lack of using fuck earlier.”
In answer, he gifted me one of those smiles. “Enjoy the trail.”
I wanted to call to him; my throat ached from the effort of holding the words back. Instead I just stood and watched as he walked away and knew he would become my greatest and most profound regret.
Walking along the trail I tried to lose myself in the scenery, in the sheer majesty around me, but all I could think about was the scene earlier with Abel. I didn’t know the man; we’d had a few chance meetings so why did I feel so…sad? The images he painted with his words…Jake and I had had a very active sex life, but thinking about Abel doing those things to me. I ached.
He said he thought I needed the ring and the name. I didn’t, not any more. I had the ring and the name, loved it and wouldn’t have traded it for anything. I didn’t want to go back down that road. But I also feared I wouldn’t be able to separate sex from love, not when dealing with such a big personality like Abel. Sex with him would turn into love for me, the two becoming synonymous, but I didn’t want love again; I didn’t want the pain that followed when love faded or worse. So even regretting I’d never explore the feelings he stirred, Abel was right to step back.
The blood-curdling scream yanked me from my thoughts.
“What’s happening?” Someone asked behind me, but my focus was on our tour guide, bent in half puking in the bushes.
“Call 911.” Someone else screamed.
Moving closer to see what was causing all of the trouble, my eyes landed on the body. It’d been there for a while, the bones were exposed, the eyeless skull staring eerily back at us. “Holy shit.”
The trail was swarming with police a half an hour after the call was made and it wasn’t just Sheridan officers, but those from the surrounding towns too. The victim was a woman from the bits and pieces I had overheard. It was believed she’d been murdered in these woods, but her body appearing on the trail was likely the result of animals feeding on her. It felt surreal as I sat on a rock watching as the police gathered evidence. Our entire group had been detained. In a place like Sheridan, a scene like this seemed so very wrong. Was she a local? How had she died? Did she know her killer? Was he too a local?
The man next to me was snapping pictures of the body with his phone. He looked familiar, but I couldn't remember where I'd seen him. “Should you be doing that?”
“I have a blog and this is news.”
“Her family should be notified before you post her body on the Internet.”
“Freedom of speech.”
I thought about Jake and Connor and how I would have felt seeing the pictures of their accident before I knew they’d been killed. Fuck freedom of speech, what about compassion? “Officer, should this man be taking pictures?”
“Bitch,” he hissed at me, but the cop was already bagging up his phone.
“Could have been your mom or sister or girlfriend. Would you want to see them displayed so heartlessly, all for the headline?”
“It isn’t my mom or sister or girlfriend.”
“So that makes it okay.”
“Yeah, it fucking does.”
I walked away before the cops had another dead body on their hands. Dickhead.
They kept us for a few hours and took our statements and boot prints. The body had been removed, taken back to the coroner. Her family would be notified; they’d have the cops coming to their door to shatter their world. My heart went out to them and the struggle they had ahead—coming to terms with their loss, particularly the violent nature of her death.
By the time I returned home, I was dead on my feet. Rylee had been home to change and was out again, grabbing a bite with Jayce. She left where they were so I could join them, but I didn’t want to. I wasn’t in the mood for company. Instead, I wanted a shower and then I’d spend some time with Cain. Tigger and Stuart were having a rare moment of activity, wrestling like they used to as kittens. Sandbar was on the sofa watching them, but he jumped from his spot as soon as he saw me and walked over. And after the shitty day I had had, that little act of affection from him felt really good.
“Hey you.”
I made my way upstairs and he followed. Stayed with me while I showered and changed and even followed me back downstairs. When I started for the door, he was right on my heels.
“You aren’t coming outside with me. I know you were an outdoor cat before, but not any more.”
He just stood there, expectantly. “Will you let me hold you? That’s the only way you’re going outside.”
Hunching down, I reached for him; he darted back into the living room. I didn’t think it’d be that easy.
Cain was lying down in his pen, but as soon as he sensed me he stood and watched my approach.
“Hey, handsome.”
I didn’t have food, it wasn’t quite dinner time, and still he moved closer. And when I settled near his cage, he joined me and together we watched as the day turned into night.
“You saw the dead body? Why the hell didn’t you call me?” Rylee and I were at the clinic working. Doc Cassidy had taken the day off. Every channel and paper was reporting the news of the body found in the woods. Rylee freaked when she learned I’d been there.
“We were detained and I was exhausted by the time I got home. Besides, what was there to tell? The poor woman had been left to the elements and animals. It was heartbreaking.”
“That must have been hard seeing a dead body, especially in that condition. I can’t imagine how your tour guide felt being the one to find her.”
“You see it on television all the time, but actually seeing a real dead body? There aren’t words.”
Rylee’s body shook; I actually saw the shiver that moved through her before she confirmed what I had heard that day on the trail. “She was a local. People thought she’d left town since she tended to drift from place to place. But she died three months ago and the cops think she was likely killed in those woods. That’s when the animals got to her.”
It was me who felt that shiver now thinking about who could have done that. “Do the cops have any ideas?”
“None. I want them to catch him, but there’s a part of me that hopes he’s moved on and is far away from here.”
“I hear that. I’ve got to go. I’m due at the Roberts’ farm.”
“Keep your doors locked.”
Another shiver worked through me, but Rylee was right. As beautiful as Sheridan was, I could drive for miles and not see another person. Exquisite, yes, but it also made m
e easy pickings for someone with malice intent. “I will.”
Cain and I sat out back and watched as the blue sky became washed with orange before fading to purple. It was my favorite time of day and yet my thoughts were far away as I thought about Jake; how he’d come into my life, how perfectly we’d fit together. I had found what many never do and even more unbelievable was that I was falling again and for someone who was the complete opposite of Jake.
Rylee settled in the chair next to me. “What’s going on? You look upset.”
“I’ve just been thinking.”
“About?”
I rested my head on the seat back and took comfort in the view as I tried to put my disjointed thoughts into words. “It’s just interesting how things work out. I grew up alone, found Connor at ten and right when Connor started to lose himself to his addiction, Jake walked into my life. He was exactly what I needed, someone solid and strong who loved me. From the very beginning we worked, fitting together perfectly and sliding easily into being a couple. Every day was a gift. The exact kind of love I had always dreamed of having. I always thought his death shattered me, but that’s not true. I had already been broken, just pieces of a person before I met him. He healed me, he made me whole, and his death was devastating but I’m still that healed and whole person because he had loved me.”
“That’s beautiful.”
I saw the tears in her eyes; my own were bright.
“I’m sensing there’s more.”
“And then there’s Abel. I don’t know him and much of what I do know about him irritates the shit out of me. He challenges me all the time. He’s domineering and opinionated. Sex with him wouldn’t be lovemaking like I had with Jake. It would be raw, rough and dirty. And I want to smack him on more occasions than I want to kiss him.”
“But you want to kiss him.”
“I can’t explain it Rylee, because I don’t get it. I physically feel when he’s around. And as much as he drives me crazy, I crave his company. I feel alive, every part of me responds to him. And I’m not that damaged person any more, lacking in love and looking so desperately for it. My heart hurts, but it’s whole and more, I don’t need to find love again. I have love and family, you and the friends we’re making here. Sidney Stephens is a different person than Sidney Ellis. And yet, even not wanting to want it, I want him. He’s completely wrong for me, but something in me is drawn to him.”
