MB09 - You Stole My Heart Away

by Joan Jonker

  George called after her, ‘Seeing as there’s nothing you wouldn’t do, Nellie, then I’ve got a free rein.’

  Nellie was back within the blink of an eye. ‘Yer’d only be wasting yer time, lad, ’cos where would yer find another woman what has a voluptuous body like mine? No, lad, you just sit and smoke yer ciggie while yer read the paper. That way yer won’t get in any trouble.’

  ‘Don’t stay out too late, Nellie. Yer know the old saying about the only ones out on the street after midnight are cats and women of ill repute.’

  ‘I’m not going to answer that, lad, ’cos I’m late getting to Molly’s, and she’ll think I’m not coming. Ta-ra.’

  When Molly stepped down on to the pavement, Nellie linked her arm. ‘How about calling in to see our Lily and Archie, girl? We don’t see them as much as we see your Jill and Doreen.’

  ‘Yes, we’ll call there, if that’s what yer want, sunshine. And you are right, we don’t see as much of them as we do my family. Which isn’t right. So we’ll give them a call before we go to me ma’s.’

  It was Archie who opened the door, and his pleasure at seeing them made Molly feel ashamed. She vowed she’d come and visit him and Lily more often. He was a lovely man, was Archie, in looks and in nature. And a war hero, although he never mentioned it. He was given a medal for bravery, after leading a group of soldiers through a minefield when the war was coming to an end. The Germans had set mines as they were fleeing, and many soldiers were killed. Archie walked ahead of his group, at the risk of his own life, and he’d guided them to safety. And one of those young soldiers was Molly’s son, Tommy, who was the one who told his family and friends that Archie had saved his life. Archie himself never spoke of it. But Tommy never forgot, and looked up to Archie as the bravest man he’d ever known.

  Molly was thinking of the debt she owed the man who was inviting them in, his face showing how welcome they were. ‘Hello, Archie, sunshine, it’s lovely to see yer. We don’t see yer often enough, but that’s because my family is getting so big it’s hard to keep up with them.’

  Lily welcomed her mother and Molly with a hug and a kiss. ‘Sit down and I’ll put the kettle on.’ She raised her hand when she saw Molly exchange glances with Nellie. ‘You are having a cup of tea whether yer like it or not. Whenever yer do honour us with yer presence, yer never stay long enough to warm the seat of the chair. So take a pew, and the tea will be on the table before yer can say Jack Robinson.’

  Nellie didn’t need telling twice. ‘I hope there’s biscuits to go with the tea, girl?’

  ‘I can answer that, Mrs Mac,’ Archie told her. ‘There’s always a packet of custard creams in the larder, just on the off chance yer call in.’ He thought the world of Nellie, telling everyone she was the best mother-in-law any man could ask for. He loved her crazy sense of humour and down to earth nature. ‘Are yer looking forward to Paul’s wedding? I bet you and Mrs B. are eager to see what the latest hat styles are.’

  Nellie’s chins nodded before her head, for they were getting excited about what was going on. ‘Me and Molly are going into town tomorrow, lad, but only to window shop. Just to give us an idea of what hats and dresses to go for when we’ve got the money.’

  ‘Here yer go!’ Lily put the tray down in the middle of the table. ‘I’ll let you be mother, Mrs B., ’cos you’re nearest.’

  ‘Where’s Archie’s mother?’ Molly asked as she lifted the teapot. ‘I haven’t seen her for ages.’

  ‘She’s gone to her sister’s, Mrs B.’ It was Archie who answered. ‘Me auntie is in ill health, and me mam goes a few times a week to do a bit of housework for her, and the ironing. I think me auntie plays on me mam’s good nature, but talking to me mam is like talking to the wall.’

  ‘Yer mam was always daft even when I sat next to her in school. She’s a sucker for a hard luck story.’ Nellie’s hand moved to the plate with the biscuits on, and picked up two Nice biscuits and one arrowroot, which she dunked in her tea while still talking. ‘Your mam often got the cane for talking when it should have been me. The trouble with her is she’s no good at telling fibs, she blushes the colour of beetroot. Me, now, I can tell a lie without turning a hair.’

  ‘That’s nothing to brag about, sunshine, yer should be ashamed of yerself.’ Molly rolled her eyes. ‘Yer seem to think it’s clever, but it’s not.’

  ‘Oh, it is if it stops yer getting the cane, girl! I bet you don’t know what it’s like getting three strokes of the cane, ’cos ye’re too bleeding good to be true.’

  ‘Let’s change the subject, Mrs B.,’ Lily said, ‘’cos yer’ll never change me mam, not in a million years.’ There was a smile on her pretty face when she added, ‘Yer should have heard the lies I used to have to tell the clubwoman, or the coalman, when I was a kid. Me mam made me go to the door and tell them she wasn’t in. And she’d keep me off school on the days they were due, so I’d have to tell another lie the next day, and say I had a sore throat or a tummy ache.’

  ‘Didn’t do yer no harm, did it, girl?’ Nellie’s hand moved towards the plate again, but she was so busy talking, she didn’t see Molly moving the plate out of her reach. And it was only the smiles and giggles that caused her to stop talking and look for the biscuits. ‘Where’s the bleeding plate gone?’

  ‘Oh, didn’t yer see it walk out in disgust?’ Molly asked. ‘It said yer were so greedy yer’d probably eat the flowers painted on it, so it got out of yer way as quick as it could.’

  ‘Ho, ho, very funny, I’m sure. Ye’re a thief, Molly Bennett, and a thief is worse than a liar.’

  Archie was leaning forward, his elbows on his knees. ‘How do yer make that out, Mrs Mac? They’re both as bad as one another, I should think.’

  ‘No they’re not, lad! Just think on it. If I tell yer a lie, I can always say I’m sorry and didn’t mean nothing. But if I stole two of those biscuits off the plate what my mate is hiding on her knee, and I ate them, then I couldn’t give them back, could I? So do yer see what I’m getting at, like?’

  ‘I don’t know why I bothered actually,’ Archie said. ‘But in her own roundabout way, I suppose Mrs Mac knows what she’s talking about.’

  ‘Does she heck!’ Lily laughed. ‘My mam never knows what she’s talking about, because she never stops talking long enough to listen to herself.’

  Nellie’s eyes narrowed to slits as she tried to get her head round what her daughter had said. And while Molly, Lily and Archie looked on, they saw her face contort into every shape conceivable. Then, when her features returned to normal, she opened her eyes and fixed them on her daughter. ‘That was a daft thing to say. I know very well I can’t listen to meself when I’m talking. And d’yer know how I know? Because I’ve tried it many a time and it doesn’t work. So put that in yer pipe and smoke it, ’cos ye’re not as clever as yer thought yer were.’

  ‘Let’s change the subject, eh?’ Lily said. ‘Are yer stopping for a game of cards?’

  ‘Oh, we’re going to see me ma and da, Lily, ’cos I haven’t seen them for a few days, or Tommy and Rosie. They’ll think I’ve forgotten them.’

  ‘I haven’t seen Tommy for a few weeks, Mrs B.,’ Archie said. ‘Is he all right? And the rest of the family, are they keeping well?’

  ‘They’re fine, Archie.’ Molly had an idea. ‘Why don’t you and Lily walk round with us? They’d all love to see yer.’

  ‘They wouldn’t want a houseful, Auntie Molly,’ Lily said. ‘It would be too much for Bridie and Bob. Not that I wouldn’t like to see them, because I’d love to. But I do think four of us turning up uninvited would be a bit much.’

  ‘Don’t be so daft,’ Nellie huffed. ‘Bridie and Bob love to have visitors, it puts some sparkle into their lives.’

  ‘My goodness, sunshine, ye’re coming up in the world, aren’t yer?’ Molly chuckled. ‘That was really poetic, that was. Putting sparkle into their lives is better than anything I could come up with. And ye’re right to say they love to have visitors, so yeah, the four
of us will go round and surprise them. We’ll have a laugh even though it might end up with Rosie sitting on Tommy’s knee, and Lily on Archie’s. The more the merrier as the saying goes.’

  ‘I’ll get me coat.’ Lily pushed her chair back. ‘The dishes can wait until I get back. They won’t mind us going in our working clothes, will they?’

  ‘I could do with having a shave.’ Archie fingered his chin. ‘I look like a tramp. That’s the worst of having black hair, yer really need to shave twice a day.’

  ‘Yer’ll do as yer are, lad,’ Nellie told him. ‘Ye’re that tall, most people won’t see yer chin unless yer bend down. Besides, who is going to worry about how yer look? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, lad, and our Lily loves yer, so that’s all yer need.’ She craned her neck to look at him. ‘If she ever gets fed up with yer, she can pass yer on to me.’

  Archie managed a look of horror as he held his hands up. ‘Oh, not that, Mrs Mac. I love yer to bits, but I don’t think I could stand the pace.’

  ‘Ye’re safe, lad,’ Nellie told him. ‘My George knows me inside out, and we’re too old to learn new tricks.’

  ‘Can we get going?’ Molly said. ‘It’ll be bedtime before we get there, and I told Jack I wouldn’t be late.’

  Nellie shuffled towards the front door, her head bent as she muttered, ‘Sod Jack, that’s what I say.’

  ‘What was that, sunshine?’ Molly asked, winking at Lily. ‘Did yer say something?’

  ‘No, girl, just that I’ll lead the way.’

  Chapter Fifteen

  When Tommy opened the front door he pretended to stagger back in amazement when he saw the group of four. ‘Good heavens, we’re being invaded!’

  His words were heard in the living room, and Rosie jumped up quickly and ran into the hall. ‘What is it, me darling beloved?’ Her voice trailed off when she saw the reason for his words. ‘Oh, now isn’t this a lovely surprise, so it is! Will yer not be standing aside, me darlin’, and let the visitors in?’

  ‘I should think so too!’ mumbled Nellie as she used the door frame to help her climb the step. ‘Your darling beloved has been standing there with his mouth open, like a fish what has just been caught in a net.’

  Rosie pressed herself against the wall to let Nellie pass. ‘Now, Mrs Mac, sure I’ve never seen a fish as handsome as my beloved, and that’s the truth of it. When I caught him in me net, sure wasn’t I the luckiest and happiest girl alive?’

  Bridie and Bob smiled when Nellie waddled in, for their affection for the little woman was genuine. Then when Molly came in their eyes lit up with love for their daughter, and when she bent to kiss them they gave her a hug. It was when Lily appeared, followed closely by Archie, that the elderly couple showed their surprise and pleasure. ‘Well now, will yer look who it is,’ Bridie said, in her lilting Irish voice. ‘Sure ye’re as welcome as the flowers in May, so yer are.’ She turned to Bob, whose hand she was holding. ‘Sure it’s a full house we have tonight, right enough, me darlin’, and it’s happy we are to see them.’

  Tommy was standing on the threshold of the living room, talking to his idol, Archie. They were talking about their jobs when Rosie said, ‘Tommy Bennett, have yer no manners? There’s not enough chairs, so will yer fetch the one down from our bedroom and we’ll try and squash round the table so we can talk to each other.’

  ‘I’m sorry, sweetheart, and I apologize for my lack of manners. But it’s a while since I last saw Archie, and we’ve got a lot to catch up on. I’ll nip up and fetch the chair down.’

  They managed to fit six chairs round the table, and Molly thought her ma and da should sit on two of them, so they weren’t left out of the conversation. Which meant that Lily and Rosie had to sit on the knees of their husbands, which they did with great pleasure. Playing cards was out of the question, so they exchanged news, with many conversations going on at the same time. Bridie and Bob tried to keep up with them all, but it soon became impossible until Nellie set out to amuse them. The first bout of hilarity came with her telling the tale of the alarm clock. Her exaggerated version of George trying to get two feet in one leg of his trousers, and his falling about all over the place, brought forth hoots of laughter as imaginations ran riot. Even Molly, who knew the truth, couldn’t help chuckling at Nellie’s words and actions.

  ‘I’m laughing now, but I was so mad at George for putting the blame on me ’cos the alarm didn’t go off, I could have clocked him one.’ Nellie pointed a podgy finger at Molly. ‘Ask me mate, she’ll tell yer how mad I was. But thanks to her, everything turned out very well, and I’m tickled to bits.’

  ‘Why, what did I do?’ Molly asked. ‘Don’t bring me into yer squabble with George, ’cos I’d be on his side.’

  ‘Yeah, yer told me that, girl, and I did what yer said I should do! I got meself all dolled up before he came in from work tonight.’ Much to the amusement of her audience, she patted her hair like Mae West. Except her hair was as untidy as it always was. ‘I mean, like, yer can see I made meself look good for him. And like Molly told me, I greeted him with open arms and a big kiss. Now I’m not one for kissing, really, but the trouble I’d gone to was worth it just to see the look on George’s face. He thought I’d lost the run of me senses. Light of my life, I called him, and heart of my heart. Oh, I didn’t half enjoy meself.’ The table rose with Nellie’s tummy, and Rosie nearly toppled off Tommy’s knee.

  The family and friends were still laughing when Nellie wheezed, ‘Ay, girl, yer didn’t half give me some good advice.’ She winked at Molly. ‘I’ll treat yer to a pot of tea and a cake in the Kardomah tomorrow, out of the money I cadged off George for being so nice to him.’

  ‘Yer cadged money off him again!’ Molly tutted. ‘I told yer to be nice to him because you hadn’t set the alarm and him and Paul were late for work. I didn’t say anything about cadging money off him.’ Once again she tutted. ‘What am I going to do with yer, Nellie McDonough? Ye’re the blight of me life.’

  ‘Well, yer can have a little treat tomorrow out of the money I cadged off George and Paul.’

  ‘Yer mean yer took money off Paul as well, even though the lad is saving up to get married?’

  ‘Oh, I never asked Paul for money, girl, I didn’t have to. He gave it to me of his own free will.’ The chubby face beamed as Nellie looked round the table. ‘And it was you what told me to be nice to George, so it was you what cadged the money, in a roundabout way.’

  Molly sat back in her chair, a look of disbelief on her face. ‘Nellie, for twenty odd years I’ve listened to yer cockeyed ways of seeing things, and mostly I’ve found them funny and had a laugh at them. Not that I could always see the logic in them, mind, because I’d have to be the brain of Britain to be that clever. But this latest trick is something else. How do yer make out that because I happened to say yer should be nice to yer husband, I’m the one what cadged money off him? That’s too far-fetched even by your standards.’

  All eyes turned to Nellie now, awaiting her response. ‘Well, it’s like this, yer see, girl, if yer know what I mean, like. I would never have thought about being nice to George. In fact I was more inclined to want to hit him over the head with the frying pan after he’d played merry hell with me for not setting the alarm. But when I got home from your house I thought it would be in me own interest, like, if I was nice to him. Which I was, and it worked a treat! So now can yer understand why we’ll be having tea and cakes in town tomorrow?’

  ‘Nellie, sunshine, I may have tea and a cake tomorrow when we go to town, but they’ll be paid for out of me own money. And in future I’ll keep me mouth shut instead of trying to turn you into a kind, thoughtful, sensible mother, wife and mate. It’s just a waste of me time and breath.’

  The onlookers thought how unusual it was for Molly to be so serious with her friend, and were a little concerned. But they needn’t have been, for no amount of words could dampen Nellie’s spirit. Insults had no effect, it was like water off a duck’s back. Only with her best mate
, though! If anyone else criticized her, she’d clock them one and not think twice about it.

  ‘Ay, girl, tell them about the trouble I caused yer the other week, when Doreen had to help me out of George’s chair. Go on, girl, give them a laugh.’

  ‘Yer have one redeeming feature, sunshine, and that is nothing worries yer. Yer don’t mind anyone knowing yer made a ruddy fool of yerself, and caused me a lot of worry, and our Doreen into the bargain.’

  ‘Ah, ay, girl, it was really funny and this lot would love to hear it. My ma, God rest her soul, used to say a good belly laugh was better than a feast. Mind you, she was skint at the time, and couldn’t afford a loaf of bread, never mind a feast. And our bellies weren’t laughing, they were rumbling with hunger.’

  ‘Mam, yer’ve just told Mrs B. to make us laugh, and then yer tell us a tale which has the tears rolling down our cheeks,’ Lily said. ‘We don’t want to hear hard luck stories, we want to laugh and be happy. So come on, what did yer do with me dad’s chair that was so funny?’

  Molly leaned forward. ‘I’ll tell yer, ’cos Nellie will get everything back to front.’

  Nellie put a hand on her mate’s arm. ‘Don’t yer mean backside to front, girl?’

  ‘Nellie, who’s telling this tale, you or me? If you want to do it, then by all means be my guest.’

  ‘No, girl, I was only saying, like, didn’t yer see the connection with backside?’ Nellie saw the straight face on Molly and shrugged her shoulders. ‘Okay, I’ll keep me trap shut.’

  ‘As yer know, me and Nellie have a set routine every day,’ Molly started off. ‘At half ten every morning, except Sunday, Nellie knocks on my door. We have a cup of tea, biscuits if I’ve got any, and a natter. Eleven o’clock we leave the house and do whatever shopping we need, then do a bit of visiting to family and friends. Anyway a week or two back, Nellie didn’t put in an appearance and I started to worry. Our Doreen came over with a message, and when I told her about Nellie, she said there must be something wrong. Now I’ve always had a key to the McDonoughs’ house, so me and Doreen let ourselves in. And a voice called out, “You took yer bleeding time, didn’t yer?”’ The memories came flooding back, and Molly was crying with laughter when she described the scene that she and Doreen were met with. And for the next fifteen minutes the house rocked with laughter, the loudest coming from Nellie herself, as her tummy lifted the table and her bosom pushed it down again. Bridie and Bob were clinging to each other as tears rolled down their cheeks, and their pleasure made Molly happy. Archie’s laughter was the loudest, Tommy was a close second, while Lily and Rosie wiped their tears away with the backs of their hands.