The Land of Stories: The Enchantress Returns

by Chris Colfer

  “Guess we’ll just have to play it by ear,” Conner said. “It may be a good excuse to have in our back pocket for when we get older. We could tell Bob we’re going to the fairy-tale world and then go to a party instead.”

  Alex tilted her head and looked at him curiously. “Why would we ever choose a party over the fairy-tale world?”

  Conner shook his head. Just for once he wished his sister would think like a normal teenager. “I keep forgetting you’re an eighty-year-old trapped in a thirteen-year-old body,” he said. “Never mind.”

  The end of the week slowly arrived and the twins woke up to a beautiful Thursday morning. They gave their mom extra-long hugs just before they left the house, causing her to raise a suspicious eyebrow at them as they headed to school. Alex and Conner felt like the day passed by extra slowly. They glanced up at the clock every five minutes only to be disappointed it hadn’t changed much. As soon as school ended, Conner ran home and met Bob at the house to help prepare for the night. He cut corners over his neighbors’ lawns and was so careless he nearly tripped over a lawn gnome.

  Alex was too antsy to enjoy her honors course or be sleepy on the train ride back. She just wanted the night to be perfect for her mom. And from the looks of things when Alex finally got home, it was going to be pretty close.

  The kitchen table had been covered with a silk cloth and there were candles placed in the center. A bottle of champagne and a bottle of cider were on the table as well, begging to be opened for a celebration. The whole house smelled delicious, as Bob had picked up food from Charlotte’s favorite Italian restaurant.

  He was dressed in a nice suit and tie and held the box tightly in his hand, afraid to let it go. Even Conner had dressed up, putting on his best button-down shirt.

  Alex tried putting a bow on Buster’s collar, but he wouldn’t let her. The dog had been acting strange for a couple days. He stayed seated by the front door and growled at it occasionally. The twins figured a new cat must have moved into the neighborhood, or maybe their jitters were rubbing off on him.

  But aside from the dog, everything seemed to be going according to plan.

  Alex ran up to her bedroom and dressed in a skirt and her nicest headband. She came downstairs at half past six and joined Bob and Conner at the table.

  “Mom should be here any minute!” Conner said. “Let’s make this proposal quick, Bob, I’m starving!”

  “I’ll do my best,” Bob said. He kept looking down at the ring. As excited as the twins were, they knew it was nothing compared to what Bob was feeling.

  They couldn’t wait for her to walk through the door and see them waiting for her. Alex hoped her mom wouldn’t cry too much, because then she might start crying. Conner hoped Alex wouldn’t start crying because then he might start crying and there was no dust to blame it on.

  Unfortunately, Charlotte was running late, so the three of them were forced to wait. They waited… and waited… and waited some more. More than an hour had passed after the time she was supposed to be home.

  “Should we call her?” Conner asked. “Maybe we should give her a ring to see where she is? Get it? Get it?”

  “No, don’t,” Alex said. “She can’t suspect a thing!”

  After another hour the twins’ anticipation turned to anxiety. Bob decided to put the food away so it wouldn’t go bad.

  “I guess Nurse Nancy is being very thorough,” Bob chuckled. “She’s probably making sure your mom doesn’t get here too early.”

  But the twins weren’t laughing. The last time they’d waited this long for a parent, they’d lost one.

  “I’m going to give Nancy a call,” Bob said after even more time had passed, and he dialed his colleague at the children’s hospital. “Hello, Nancy? Hi, it’s Bob. I’m here with the kids; has Charlotte left yet?”

  Alex and Conner leaned toward him. They could barely make out what Nancy was saying on the other line. From what they could hear, she sounded surprised.

  “She left two hours ago?” Bob said into the phone. “Are you sure? We haven’t heard anything from her.”

  Alex and Conner exchanged fearful looks.

  “Something’s wrong,” Alex said. “I can feel it. Something’s happened.”

  “Mom is never late like this,” Conner said, shaking his head.

  “Okay, thank you, Nancy, I’ll try calling her,” Bob said and hung up the phone.

  He quickly dialed Charlotte’s number next. He didn’t make eye contact with the twins, not wanting to add to their concern with his. Bob tried calling several times with no luck.

  “She’s not answering, guys,” Bob said. “Do you think she spontaneously decided to run any errands tonight?”

  Alex, worried sick, burst into tears. “We need to call the police!” she said.

  “The police wouldn’t do anything unless she’s been gone for forty-eight hours,” Bob said. “Let’s not panic just yet.”

  Conner jumped up from the table and paced around the room. “There’s got to be something we can do,” he said.

  “I’m going to get on my bike and go looking for her,” Alex said.

  “I’ll go with you!” Conner announced.

  “Nobody’s going anywhere,” Bob said calmly, although the twins knew he was just as stressed out as they were. “We’ve tried calling the hospital and her phone. Let’s wait for a few more minutes in case she tries to call us back.” Alex’s tears began to flow faster the more she worried, and it was impossible not to. The twins feared that history, their history, was repeating itself.

  Buster suddenly started a barking frenzy. He was staring intently at the front door, jumping up and scratching it, growling as loudly as he possibly could. The twins had never seen him like this before.

  “Buster, what is it, boy?” Bob said. “Is someone at the—?”

  The doorbell rang. All of them, including the dog, completely froze. It rang twice before any of them moved.

  “Who could that be at this hour?” Bob asked and went to answer the door. The twins followed him into the doorway. They almost wished he wouldn’t answer it. Whatever or whoever it was, it was too late to be anything good.

  Buster began another barking and jumping fit. “Buster, get down, boy,” Bob told him.

  The dog backed away from the door and stood directly in front of the twins, protective of them. He was ready to pounce on something in an instant if he didn’t like the looks of it. Was he sensing something they couldn’t?

  Bob looked back at the distressed twins. “It’s going to be all right, kids,” he said calmly. “Whatever happens, just know it’s all going to be okay.”

  Bob slowly opened the front door and peeked out onto the porch. It seemed empty.

  “Hello?” he said.

  Still, there was nothing and nobody to be found.

  “Hello?” Bob tried again. “Is anyone out there—?”

  “Seize him!”

  In a split second, a dozen soldiers dressed in silver armor barged through the door. One slammed Bob hard against the wall. Alex screamed. Conner grabbed her arm and they tried to run to the other side of the house, but the soldiers formed a tight circle around them and Buster.

  Their swords were drawn and they held heavy shields with small glass slippers displayed on the outside crest. The twins recognized the soldiers immediately—they were from the Charming Kingdom—but what in the world were they doing here?

  “Get your hands off of me this instant!” Bob yelled, struggling under the soldier’s restraint. “Get away from those kids! Who are you people?!”

  “We’ve securely surrounded the twins,” the soldier closest to Alex called to the open front door. “Bring in the Fairy Godmother.”

  Alex and Conner looked to each other so fast they could have hurt their necks. “Fairy Godmother?” they said in unison.

  Two other soldiers quickly charged into the house, led by none other than their grandmother.

  “Grandma!?” the twins gasped together. They al
most didn’t believe their eyes.

  She looked exactly the same as she did the last time they saw her. She was dressed in her long sky-blue robe that sparkled like the night sky. Her hair was styled up, with beautiful white flowers in it. She raised her crystal wand authoritatively as she walked into the house; the twins had never seen her look so worried.

  “Oh, thank heavens,” Grandma said.

  The soldiers parted their circle for her and she threw her arms around Alex and Conner.

  “You have no idea how happy I am to see you,” Grandma said, hugging them so tight they felt like they’d pop.

  The twins didn’t hug her back. They couldn’t believe they were seeing her in real life. Their heads were spinning with so many questions, but they only managed to spit out the basics.

  “Grandma?” Alex said. “Is it actually you?”

  “Where have you been?” Conner said.

  Their grandmother gently placed a hand on each of their faces. “I’m sorry I’ve been gone for so long,” she said sorrowfully. “I promise to explain everything later.”

  She took a moment just to look at them through teary eyes. They knew she had missed them as much as they had missed her. “Just look at you two—you’ve both grown a foot since the last time I saw you,” Grandma said.

  Just then, a familiar man walked through the front door. He had a distinguished jawline and wore a bright yellow suit. To Bob’s amazement, the man’s shoulders and his hair were actually on fire. The twins recognized him instantly; it was Xanthous, the only male fairy on the Fairy Council.

  “I checked around the property,” Xanthous said. “It’s clear.”

  “Xanthous?!” Alex said. “What’s he doing here?”

  Bob fought restlessly under the soldier pinning him to the wall. “What is going on?!” he yelled. “Who are you people?”

  Grandma raised her wand in his direction. Xanthous pointed a few fingers at him and his whole hand suddenly lit on fire. Both were ready to fight if necessary.

  “Do you know this man?” Xanthous asked the twins.

  “Yeah, that’s Dr. Bob,” Conner said. “Don’t set him on fire! That’s our mom’s boyfriend!”

  “Boyfriend?” Grandma said and lowered her wand. “Well, I must have been gone for longer than I thought!”

  “Release him,” Xanthous ordered and lowered his hand. The soldier immediately dropped his hold on Bob.

  “This woman is your grandmother?” Bob asked the twins. “Is she a part of the circus or something? What’s with all the tricks and costumes?”

  “What on earth is a circus?” Xanthous said, unsure whether he should take offense.

  Alex and Conner didn’t know where to begin.

  “Bob, it’s a long story,” Alex said.

  “In a nutshell, our grandmother is Cinderella’s Fairy Godmother from the fairy-tale world,” Conner said. “I know it’s a lot to process, so take your time—but we promise that’s the only baggage our family has got.”

  Bob’s eyes grew bigger and he glanced at the soldiers, at their grandma, and at Xanthous.

  “Uh-huh,” Bob grunted, not convinced.

  Their grandmother looked around the living room, gravely concerned. “Where’s your mother?” she asked.

  “We don’t know,” Conner said.

  “She was supposed to be home a few hours ago,” Alex said.

  “Grandma, what’s wrong?” Conner asked. “Do you know where Mom is?”

  Their grandmother didn’t answer, staying deep in thought.

  “Grandma, what’s happening?” Alex demanded. “We haven’t seen you in over a year—why have you suddenly shown up out of the blue? You have to tell us what’s going on. Where’s our mom?”

  Their grandma looked back and forth between them. “Children, what I’m about to tell you is going to seem very frightening,” she said. “But I need you to be strong and trust that many qualified people are handling the situation.”

  The twins nodded impatiently. Any news was better than no news.

  “I believe your mother has been kidnapped,” their grandmother informed them.

  They were wrong; having no news was much better than knowing this.

  CHAPTER SIX

  POSITIONING THE GNOMES

  Alex and Conner stopped breathing. They felt like their hearts had fallen out of their bodies.

  “What?” Alex asked.

  “Kidnapped?” Conner gasped. “What do you mean, ‘kidnapped’?! By who?”

  Alex covered her mouth in horror. Conner frantically shook his head from side to side, not wanting to believe it.

  Who would want to kidnap a nurse who worked at a children’s hospital? How much danger was she in? The situation must be bad if soldiers and fairies from another world were standing in their house.

  Their grandmother closed her eyes tightly. “I don’t have time to explain,” she said softly.

  Conner turned bright red. “What do you mean you don’t have time to explain?!” he shouted. “You give us that information and expect us not to have questions?”

  Their grandmother looked down at them sternly. “I’m expecting you to trust that I am handling it to the best of my ability,” she said.

  “We’re not children anymore, Grandma! You have to tell us what’s going on!” Conner said. He had never had a reason to raise his voice to her before in his life.

  “I know that, and that’s why I’m being honest with you—you deserve to know the truth. There is much to discuss later, but right now, the less you know, the better. Is that understood?” Grandma said.

  They didn’t respond, because they didn’t understand or agree one bit.

  Buster barked up at the Fairy Godmother. Oddly, he hadn’t been fazed by the newcomers in their home.

  “Grandma, please, we need to know what’s going on—” Alex managed to say through her tears.

  “It’ll have to wait. Right now I need to speak with Sir Lampton,” Grandma said.

  “What does he have to do with anything?” Conner asked, remembering the friendly head of Cinderella’s Royal Guard he and his sister had met in the fairy-tale world.

  Grandma bent down and looked into Buster’s uneven eyes, and the dog sat straight up. The twins had never seen him look so obedient.

  “Sir Lampton, have you seen anything strange or out of the ordinary?” Grandma asked.

  Conner glanced over at Alex. Had their grandmother lost her mind? Did she forget dogs couldn’t talk in their world? And why on earth was she calling him Sir Lampton?

  Buster barked a single bark at her and nodded, as if he had understood perfectly.

  “Oh, forgive me,” Grandma said apologetically and waved her wand toward the dog. “Speak.”

  A flash of light traveled from the tip of her wand and into the dog’s mouth. Buster began barking, but the sound slowly morphed into the sound of coughing—human coughing.

  “Pardon me,” the dog said. “My word, it’s been a long time since I’ve had to pronounce anything.”

  Both of the twins gasped. They weren’t strangers to talking animals, but hearing their own dog suddenly speak left them completely flabbergasted.

  “Nothing out of the ordinary at all,” the dog said. “Charlotte left for work this morning and hasn’t been home since.”

  “Sir Lampton?” Alex peeped through the hands covering her mouth. “Is that you?”

  “You’re our dog?” Conner said.

  “Indeed, children,” the dog confessed and lowered his head. “I’m sorry I couldn’t reveal my identity to you. Your grandmother wanted someone looking after you but thought having a soldier living in your house would cause you to worry, so she turned me into a dog.”

  Conner turned to his sister, reddening by the second. “We can’t even have a dog without it being a magical conspiracy!”

  “It’s been very challenging,” Sir Lampton said. “Dog food and cleaning oneself are some things I don’t think I will ever get used to. And the urges to tas
te and smell absolutely everything are quite bothersome. But for you two, I would walk to the ends of the earth.”

  It was a sweet sentiment from their late father’s old friend, but the twins didn’t have any room for gratitude in their heads.

  “Did you know about this, Bob?” Alex asked.

  Bob had been so still the twins had almost forgotten he was there. He had turned a pale shade of green and was holding his stomach. It was clear by the horrified look on his face he had nothing to do with it. This was the first talking animal he had ever seen.

  “I hope you can forgive me for casting a little spell on you at the shelter, but I had to make sure you chose Sir Lampton to bring home,” Grandma said. “I thought you were just a friend of Charlotte’s; I had no idea you were so… involved.”

  “I… I… I…” Bob muttered. “I think I’m going to be sick!” He ran straight for the bathroom on the other side of the house. Obviously, Bob had reached his surprise limit for the night.

  “So this whole time we thought we had a dog when really we had a babysitter?” Alex asked, trying to wrap her head around it.

  “A protector, not a babysitter,” Grandma said.

  “A protector from what?” Conner asked.

  Their grandmother and Sir Lampton looked at each other. The twins knew they were set on keeping as much information from them as possible without being dishonest.

  “I promise to share with you the appropriate information as I learn it,” Grandma said. “It’s a concerning time in the fairy-tale world and it’s kept me very occupied. The situation recently reached a peak and I was worried it would affect you, so I made the proper arrangements to make sure you were protected. Unfortunately, it seems your mother has fallen victim to it.”

  “Speaking of precautions, Fairy Godmother,” Xanthous interrupted, “we should position the gnomes while the neighborhood is empty.”

  “Gnomes?” Conner mouthed to Alex.

  “Very well,” Grandma said and looked to the other guards she had entered the house with. “I’d like you to take the first shift watching the inside of the house. The rest of you, please follow me outside so I may place you.”