Christmas Wishes

by Debbie Macomber

  “My brother-in-law’s like that. I’m not to give the matter another thought,” she said, quoting Emily. “My sister will be back Sunday afternoon as promised.” If the Fates so decreed—and Susannah said a fervent prayer that they would.

  But the Fates had other plans.

  Sunday morning, there were bags under Susannah’s eyes. She was mentally and physically exhausted, and convinced anew that motherhood was definitely not for her. Two nights into the ordeal, Susannah had noticed that the emotional stirring for a husband and children came to her only when Michelle was sleeping or eating. And with good reason.

  Nate arrived around nine bearing gifts. He brought freshly baked cinnamon rolls still warm from the oven. He stood in her doorway, tall and lean, with a smile bright enough to dazzle the most dedicated career woman. Once more, Susannah was shocked by her overwhelming reaction to him. Her heart leaped to her throat, and she immediately wished she’d taken time to dress in something better than her faded housecoat.

  “You look terrible.”

  “Thanks,” she said, bouncing Michelle on her hip.

  “I take it you had a bad night.”

  “Michelle was fussing. She didn’t seem the least bit interested in sleeping.” She wiped a hand over her face.

  “I wish you’d called me,” Nate said, taking her by the elbow and leading her into the kitchen. He actually looked guilty because he’d had a peaceful night’s rest. Ridiculous, Susannah thought.

  “Call you? Whatever for?” she asked. “So you could have paced with her, too?” As it was, Nate had spent a good part of Saturday in and out of her apartment helping her. Spending a second night with them was above and beyond the call of duty. “Did I tell you,” Susannah said, yawning, “Michelle’s got a new tooth coming in—I felt it myself.” Deposited in the high chair, Michelle was content for the moment.

  Nate nodded and glanced at his watch. “When does your sister’s flight get in?”

  “One-fifteen.” No sooner had the words left her lips than the phone rang. Susannah’s and Nate’s eyes met, and as it rang a second time she wondered how a telephone could sound so much like a death knell. Even before she answered it, Susannah knew it would be what she most dreaded hearing.

  “Well?” Nate asked when she’d finished the call.

  Covering her face with both hands, Susannah sagged against the wall.

  “Say something.”

  Slowly she lowered her hands. “Help.”

  “Help?”

  “Yes,” she cried, struggling to keep her voice from cracking. “All Puget Air flights are grounded just the way the news reported, and the other airline Robert and Emily made reservations with is overbooked. The earliest flight they can get is tomorrow morning.”

  “I see.”

  “Obviously you don’t!” she cried. “Tomorrow is Monday and I’ve got to be at work!”

  “Call in sick.”

  “I can’t do that,” she snapped, angry with him for even suggesting such a thing. “My marketing group is giving their presentation and I’ve got to be there.”

  “Why?”

  She frowned at him. It was futile to expect someone like Nate to understand something as important as a sales presentation. Nate didn’t seem to have a job; he didn’t worry about a career. For that matter, he couldn’t possibly grasp that a woman holding a management position had to strive twice as hard to prove herself.

  “I’m not trying to be cute, Susannah,” he said with infuriating calm. “I honestly want to know why that meeting is so important.”

  “Because it is. I don’t expect you to appreciate this, so just accept the fact that I have to be there.”

  Nate cocked his head and idly rubbed the side of his jaw. “First, answer me something. Five years from now, will this meeting make a difference in your life?”

  “I don’t know.” She pressed two fingers to the bridge of her nose. She’d had less than three hours’ sleep, and Nate was asking impossible questions. Michelle, bless her devilish little heart, had fallen asleep in her high chair. Why shouldn’t she? Susannah reasoned. She’d spent the entire night fussing, and was exhausted now. By the time Susannah had discovered the new tooth, she felt as if she’d grown it herself.

  “If I were you, I wouldn’t sweat it,” Nate said with that same nonchalant attitude. “If you aren’t there to hear their presentation, your marketing group will give it Tuesday morning.”

  “In other words,” she muttered, “you’re saying I don’t have a thing to worry about.”

  “Exactly.”

  Nate Townsend knew next to nothing about surviving in the corporate world, and he’d obviously been protected from life’s harsher realities. It was all too obvious to Susannah that he was a man with a baseball-cap mentality. He couldn’t be expected to fully comprehend her dilemma.

  “So,” he said now, “what are you going to do?”

  Susannah wasn’t sure. Briefly, she closed her eyes in an effort to concentrate. Impose discipline, she said to herself. Stay calm. That was crucial. Think slowly and analyze your objectives. For every problem there was a solution.

  “Susannah?”

  She glanced at him; she’d almost forgotten he was there. “I’ll cancel my early-morning appointments and go in for the presentation,” she stated matter-of-factly.

  “What about Michelle? Are you going to hire a sitter?”

  A babysitter hired by the babysitter. A novel thought, perhaps even viable, but Susannah didn’t know anyone who sat with babies.

  Then she made her decision. She would take Michelle to work with her.

  And that was exactly what she did.

  As she knew it would, Susannah’s arrival at H&J Lima caused quite a stir. At precisely ten the following morning, she stepped off the elevator. Her black leather briefcase was clutched in one hand and Michelle was pressed against her hip with the other. Head held high, Susannah marched across the hardwood floor, past the long rows of doorless cubicles and shelves of foot-thick file binders. Several employees moved away from their desks to view her progress. A low rumble of hushed whispers followed her.

  “Good morning, Ms. Brooks,” Susannah said crisply as she walked into her office, the diaper bag draped over her shoulder like an ammunition pouch.

  “Ms. Simmons.”

  Susannah noted that her assistant—to her credit—didn’t so much as bat an eye. The woman was well trained; to all outward appearances, Susannah regularly arrived at the office with a nine-month-old infant attached to her hip.

  Depositing the diaper bag on the floor, Susannah took her place behind a six-foot-wide walnut desk. Content for the moment, Michelle sat on her lap, gleefully viewing her aunt’s domain.

  “Would you like some coffee?” Ms. Brooks asked.

  “Yes, please.”

  Her assistant paused. “Will your, ah…”

  “This is my niece, Michelle, Ms. Brooks.”

  The woman nodded. “Will Michelle require anything to drink?”

  “No, but thanks anyway. Is there anything urgent in the mail?”

  “Nothing that can’t wait. I canceled your eight and nine o’clock appointments,” her assistant went on to explain. “When I spoke to Mr. Adams, he asked if you could join him for drinks tomorrow night at six.”

  “That’ll be fine.” The old lecher would love to do all their business outside the office. On this occasion, she’d agree to his terms, since she’d been the one to cancel their appointment, but she wouldn’t be so willing a second time. She’d never much cared for Andrew Adams, who was overweight, balding and a general nuisance.

  “Will you be needing me for anything else?” Ms. Brooks asked when she delivered the coffee.

  “Nothing. Thank you.”

  As she should have predicted, the meeting was an unmitigated disaster. The presentation took twenty-two minutes, and in that brief time Michelle managed to dismantle Susannah’s Cross pen, unfasten her blouse and pull her hair free from her carefully style
d French twist. The baby clapped her hands at various inappropriate points and made loud noises. At the low point of the meeting, Susannah had been forced to leave her seat and dive under the conference table to retrieve her niece, who was cheerfully crawling over everyone’s feet.

  By the time she got home, Susannah felt like climbing back into bed and staying there. It was the type of day that made her crave something chocolate and excessively sweet. But there weren’t enough chocolate chip cookies in the world to see her through another morning like that one.

  To Susannah’s surprise, Nate met her in the foyer outside the elevator. She took one look at him and resisted the urge to burst into tears.

  “I take it things didn’t go well.”

  “How’d you guess?” she asked sarcastically.

  “It might be the fact you’re wearing your hair down when I specifically remember you left wearing it up. Or it could be that your blouse is buttoned wrong and there’s a gaping hole in the middle.” His smile was mischievous. “I wondered if you were the type to wear a lacy bra. Now I know.”

  Susannah groaned and slapped a hand over her front. He could have spared her that comment.

  “Here, kiddo,” he said, taking Michelle out of Susannah’s arms. “It looks like we need to give your poor aunt a break.”

  Turning her back, Susannah refastened her blouse and then brought out her key. Her once orderly, immaculate apartment looked as if a cyclone had gone through it. Blankets and baby toys were scattered from one end of the living room to the other. She’d slept on the couch in order to be close to Michelle, and her pillow and blankets were still there, along with her blue suit jacket, which she’d been forced to change when Michelle had tossed a spoonful of plums on the sleeve.

  “What happened here?” Nate asked, looking in astonishment at the scene before him.

  “Three days and three nights with Michelle and you need to ask?”

  “Sit down,” he said gently. “I’ll get you a cup of coffee.” Susannah did as he suggested, too grateful to argue with him.

  Nate stopped just inside the kitchen. “What’s this purple stuff all over the walls?”

  “Plums,” Susannah informed him. “I discovered the hard way that Michelle hates plums.”

  The scene in the kitchen was a good example of how her morning had gone. It had taken Susannah the better part of three hours to get herself and Michelle ready for the excursion to the office. And that was just the beginning.

  “What I need is a double martini,” she told Nate when he carried in two cups of coffee.

  “It’s not even noon.”

  “I know,” she said, slowly lowering herself to the sofa. “Can you imagine what I’d need if it was two o’clock?”

  Chuckling, Nate handed her the steaming cup. Michelle was sitting on the carpet, content to play with the very toys she’d vehemently rejected that morning.

  Nate unexpectedly sat down next to her and looped his arm over her shoulder. She tensed, but if he noticed, he chose to ignore it. He stretched his legs out on the coffee table and relaxed.

  Susannah felt her tension mount. The memory of the meeting with marketing was enough to elevate her blood pressure, but when she analyzed the reasons for this anxiety, she discovered it came from being so close to Nate. It wasn’t that Susannah objected to his touch; in reality, quite the opposite was true. They’d spent three days in close quarters, and contrary to everything she’d theorized about her neighbor, she’d come to appreciate his happy-go-lucky approach to life. But it was diametrically opposed to her own, and the fact that she could be so attracted to him was something of a shock.

  “Do you want to talk about marketing’s presentation?”

  She released her breath. “No, I think this morning is best forgotten by everyone involved. You were right, I should have postponed the meeting.”

  Nate sipped his coffee and said, “It’s one of those live-and-learn situations.”

  Pulling herself to a standing position at the coffee table, Michelle cheerfully edged her way around until she was stopped by Nate’s outstretched legs. Then she surprised them both by reaching out one arm and granting him a smile that would have melted concrete.

  “Oh, look,” Susannah said proudly, “you can see her new tooth!”

  “Where?” Lifting the baby onto his lap, Nate peered inside her mouth. Susannah was trying to show him where to look when someone, presumably her sister, rang impatiently from the lobby.

  Susannah opened her door a minute later, and Emily flew in as if she’d sprouted wings. “My baby!” she cried. “Mommy missed you so-o-o much.”

  Not half as much as I missed you, Emily, she mused, watching the happy reunion.

  Robert followed on his wife’s heels, obviously pleased. The weekend away had apparently done them both good. Never mind that it had nearly destroyed Susannah’s peace of mind and her career.

  “You must be Nate,” Emily said, claiming the seat beside Susannah’s neighbor. “My sister couldn’t say enough about you.”

  “Coffee anyone?” Susannah piped up eagerly, rubbing her palms together. The last thing she needed was her sister applying her matchmaking techniques to her and Nate. Emily strongly believed it was unnatural for Susannah to live the way she did. A career was fine, but choosing to forgo the personal satisfaction of a husband and family was beyond her sister’s comprehension. Being fulfilled in that role herself, Emily assumed that Susannah was missing an essential part of life.

  “Nothing for me,” Robert answered.

  “I’ll bet you’re eager to pack everything up and head home,” Susannah said hopefully. Her eye happened to catch Nate’s, and it was obvious that he was struggling not to laugh at her less-than-subtle attempt to usher her sister and family on their way.

  “Susannah’s right,” Robert announced, glancing around the room. It was clear he’d never seen his orderly, efficient sister-in-law’s home in such a state of disarray.

  “But I’ve hardly had a chance to talk to Nate,” Emily protested. “And I was looking forward to getting to know him better.”

  “I’ll be around,” Nate said lightly.

  His gaze settled on Susannah, and the look he gave her made her insides quiver. For the first time she realized how much she wanted this man to kiss her. Susannah wasn’t the type of person who looked at a handsome male and wondered how his mouth would feel on hers. She was convinced this current phenomenon had a lot to do with sheer exhaustion, but whatever the cause she found her eyes riveted to his.

  Emily suddenly noticed what was happening. “Yes, I think you may be right, Robert,” she said, and her voice contained more than a hint of amusement. “I’ll pack Michelle’s things.”

  Susannah’s cheeks were pink with embarrassment by the time she tore her gaze away from Nate’s. “By the way, did you know Michelle has an aversion to plums?”

  “I can’t say I did,” Emily said, busily throwing her daughter’s things together.

  Nate helped disassemble the crib and the high chair, and it seemed no more than a few minutes had passed before Susannah’s condo was once more her own. She stood in the middle of the living room savoring the silence. It was pure bliss.

  “They’re off,” she said when she saw that Nate had stayed behind.

  “Like a herd of turtles.”

  Susannah had heard that saying from the time she was a kid. She didn’t find it particularly funny anymore, but she shared a smile with him.

  “I have my life back now,” she sighed. It would probably take her a month to recover, though.

  “Your life is your own,” Nate agreed, watching her closely.

  Susannah would’ve liked to attribute the tears that flooded her eyes to his close scrutiny, but she knew better. With her arms cradling her middle, she walked over to the window, which looked out over Elliott Bay. A green-and-white ferry glided peacefully over the darker green waters. Rain tapped gently against the window, and the sky, a deep oyster-gray, promised drizzle for mos
t of the afternoon.

  Hoping Nate wouldn’t notice, she wiped the tears from her face and drew in a deep calming breath.

  “Susannah?”

  “I…I was just looking at the Sound. It’s so lovely in the fall.” She could hear him approach her from behind, and when he placed his hands on her shoulders it was all she could do to keep from leaning against him.

  “You’re crying.”

  She nodded, sniffling because it was impossible to hold it inside any longer.

  “It’s not like you to cry, is it? What’s wrong?”

  “I don’t know…” she said and hiccuped on a sob. “I can’t believe I’m doing this. I love that little kid…we were just beginning to understand each other…and…dear heaven, I’m glad Emily came back when…she did.” Before Susannah could recognize how much she was missing without a husband and family.

  Nate ran his hands down her arms in the softest of caresses.

  He didn’t say anything for a long time, and Susannah was convinced she was making an absolute idiot of herself. Nate was right; it wasn’t like her to dissolve into tears. This unexpected outburst must’ve been a result of the trauma she’d experienced that morning in her office, or the fact that she hadn’t had a decent night’s sleep in what felt like a month and, yes, she’d admit it, of meeting Nate.

  Without saying another word, Nate turned her around and lifted her chin with his finger, raising her eyes to his. His look was so tender, so caring, that Susannah sniffled again. Her shoulders shook and she wiped her nose.

  He brushed away the hair that clung to the sides of her damp face. His fingertips slid over each of her features as though he were a blind man trying to memorize her face. Susannah was mesmerized, unable to pull away. Slowly, as if denying himself the pleasure for as long as he could, he lowered his mouth.

  When his lips settled on hers, Susannah released a barely audible sigh. She’d wondered earlier what it would be like when Nate kissed her. Now she knew. His kiss was soft and warm. Velvet smooth and infinitely gentle, and yet it was undeniably exciting.

  As if one kiss wasn’t enough, he kissed her again. This time it was Nate who sighed. Then he dropped his hands and stepped back.