Christmas Wishes

by Debbie Macomber

  “I’m doing the best I can under the circumstances,” he whispered back, his eyes filled with mischief. “In case you haven’t figured it out yet, I’m crazy about you, woman.”

  “I…I’m pretty keen on you myself.”

  “Good.” He tucked his arm around her waist and led her out of the office and down the long hallway to the elevator. Susannah was sure she could feel the stares of her staff, but for the first time, she didn’t care what image she projected. Everything was right in her world, and she’d never been happier.

  Nate chose the restaurant, Il Bistro, which was one of the best in town. The atmosphere was festive, and playing the role of gentleman to the hilt, Nate wouldn’t allow her to even look at the menu, insisting that he’d order for her.

  “Nate,” she said once the waiter had left the table, “I want to pay for this. It’s a business lunch.”

  His thick brows arched upward. “And how are you going to rationalize that when your boss questions you about it, my dear?” He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

  “There’s a reason I agreed to go to lunch with you—other than celebrating my promotion, which I didn’t even know about until this morning.” As she’d explained to Nate earlier, her life was going to change with this promotion. New responsibility would result in a further commitment of time and energy to the company, and could drastically alter her relationship with Nate. If anything, she wanted them to grow closer, not apart. This advancement had the potential to make or break them, and Susannah was looking for a way to keep them together. She thought she’d found it.

  “A reason?” Nate questioned.

  They were interrupted by the waiter as he produced a bottle of expensive French wine for their inspection. He removed the cork and poured a sample into Nate’s glass to taste. When Nate nodded in approval, the waiter filled their glasses and discreetly retreated.

  “Now, you were saying?” Nate continued, studying her. His mouth quirked up at the edges.

  Gathering her resolve, Susannah reached across the table and took Nate’s hand. “You’ve always been open and honest with me. I want you to know how much I value that. When I asked you if you had a job, you told me you’d had one until recently and that you’d quit.” She waited for him to elaborate on his circumstances, but he didn’t, so she went on. “It’s obvious you don’t need the money, but there’s something else that’s obvious, too.”

  Nate removed his fingers from hers and twirled the stem of the wineglass between his open palms. “What’s that?”

  “You lack purpose.”

  His eyes rose to meet hers and his brow creased in query.

  “You have no direction,” she said. “Over the past several weeks, I’ve watched you flit from one interest to another. First it was baseball, then it was video games and kite flying, and tomorrow, no doubt, it’ll be something completely different.”

  “Traveling,” he concluded for her. “I was thinking of doing some serious sightseeing. I have a hankering to stroll the byways of Hong Kong.”

  “Hong Kong,” she repeated, gesturing with one hand. “That’s exactly what I mean.” Her heart slowed to a sluggish beat at the thought of his being gone for any length of time. She’d become accustomed to having Nate nearby, to sharing bits and pieces of her day with him. Not only had she fallen in love with Nate Townsend, he’d quickly become her best friend.

  “Do you think traveling is wrong?” he asked.

  “Not wrong,” she returned swiftly. “But what are you going to do once you’ve run out of ways to entertain yourself and places to travel? What are you going to do when you’ve spent all your money?”

  “I’ll face that when the time comes.”

  “I see.” She lowered her gaze, wondering if she was only making matters worse. There wasn’t much she could say to counter his don’t-worry attitude.

  “Susannah, you make it sound like the end of the world. Trust me, wealth isn’t all that great. If I run out of money, fine. If I don’t, that’s all right, too.”

  “I see,” she murmured miserably.

  “Why are you so worried?” he asked in a gentle voice.

  “It’s because I care about you, I guess.” She paused to take a deep breath. “We may live in the same building, but our worlds are totally opposite. My future is charted, right down to the day I retire. I know what I want and how to get there.”

  “I thought I did once, too, but then I learned how unimportant it all was.”

  “It doesn’t have to be like that,” she told him, her voice filled with determination. “Listen, there’s something important I’m going to propose, but I don’t want you to answer me now. I want you to give yourself time to think about it. Promise me you’ll at least do that.”

  “Are you suggesting we get married?” he teased.

  “No.” Flustered, she smoothed out the linen napkin in her lap, her fingers lingering there to disguise her nervousness. “I’m offering you a job.”

  “You’re doing what?” He half rose out of his seat.

  Embarrassed, Susannah glanced nervously around and noted that several people had stopped eating and were gazing in their direction. “Don’t look so aghast. A job would make a lot of difference in your attitude toward life.”

  “And exactly what position are you offering me?” Now that the surprise had worn off, he appeared amused.

  “I don’t know yet. We’d have to figure something out. But I’m sure there’d be a position that would fit your qualifications.”

  The humor drained from his eyes, and for a long moment Nate said nothing. “You think a job would give me purpose?”

  “I believe so.” In her view, it would help him look beyond today and toward the future. Employment would give Nate a reason to get out of bed in the morning, instead of sleeping in until nine or ten every day.

  “Susannah—”

  “Before you say anything,” she interrupted, holding up her hand, “I want you to think it over seriously. Don’t say anything until you’ve had a chance to consider my offer.”

  His eyes were more serious than she could ever remember seeing them—other than just before he kissed her. His look was almost brooding.

  Their meal arrived, and the lamb was as delicious as Nate had promised. He was unusually quiet during the remainder of the meal, but that didn’t alarm her. He was reflecting on her job offer, which was exactly what she wanted. She hoped he’d come to the right decision. Loving him the way she did, she longed to make his world as right as her own.

  Despite Nate’s protests, Susannah paid for their lunch. He walked her back to her office, standing with her on the sidewalk while they exchanged a few words of farewell. Susannah kissed him on the cheek and asked once more that he consider her offer.

  “I will,” he promised, running his finger lightly down the side of her face.

  He left her then, and Susannah watched as he walked away, letting her gaze linger on him for several minutes.

  “Any messages?” she asked Dorothy Andrews, who was sitting in her assistant’s place.

  “One,” Dorothy said, without looking up. “Emily—she didn’t leave her full name. She said she’d catch you later.”

  “Thanks.” Susannah went into her office and, sitting down at her desk, punched out her sister’s telephone number.

  “Emily, this is Susannah. You phoned?”

  “I know I probably shouldn’t have called you at the office, but you never seem to be home and I had something important to ask you,” her sister said, talking so fast she ran her words together.

  “What’s that?” Already Susannah was reaching for a file, intending to read while her sister spoke. It sometimes took Emily several minutes to get around to the reason for any call.

  Her sister hesitated. “I’ve got a bunch of zucchini left from my garden, and I was wondering if you wanted some.”

  “About as much as I want a migraine headache.” After her disaster with the chocolate chip cookies, Susannah planned to
never so much as read a recipe again.

  “The zucchini are excellent,” Emily prompted, as if that would be enough to induce Susannah into agreeing to take a truckload.

  Her sister hadn’t phoned her to ask about zucchini; Susannah would have staked her promotion on it. That was merely a lead-in for some other request, and no doubt Susannah would have to play a guessing game. Mentally, she scanned a list of possible favors and decided to jump in with both feet.

  “Zucchini are out, but I wouldn’t mind looking after Michelle again, if you need me to.”

  “Oh, Susannah, would you? I mean, it’d work out so well if you could take her two weeks from this Saturday.”

  “All night?” As much as she loved her niece, another overnight stretch was more than Susannah wanted to contemplate. Still, Nate would probably be more than willing to lend a hand. No doubt she’d need it.

  “Oh, no, not for the night, just for dinner. Robert’s boss is taking us out to eat, and it wouldn’t be appropriate if we brought Michelle along. Robert got a big promotion.”

  “Congratulate him for me, okay?”

  “I’m so proud of him,” Emily said. “I think he must be the best accountant in Seattle.”

  Susannah toyed with the idea of letting her sister in on her own big news, but she didn’t want to take anything away from her brother-in-law. She could tell them both in two weeks when they dropped off Michelle.

  “I’ll be happy to keep Michelle for you,” Susannah said, and discovered, as she marked the date on her calendar, how much she actually meant that. She might be a disaster waiting to happen in the kitchen, but she didn’t do half badly with her niece. The time might yet come when she’d consider having a child of her own—not now, of course, but sometime in the future. “All right, I’ve got you down for the seventeenth.”

  “Susannah, I can’t tell you how much this means to me,” Emily said.

  When Susannah arrived home that evening she was tipsy. The staff meeting that afternoon had gone wonderfully well. After five, she’d been taken out for a drink by her two top aides, to celebrate. Several others from her section had unexpectedly dropped by the cocktail lounge and insisted on buying her drinks, too. By seven, Susannah was flushed and excited, and from experience, she knew it was time to call it quits and phone for a taxi.

  Dinner probably would have cut the effects of the alcohol, but she was more interested in getting home. After a nice hot bath, she’d fix herself some toast and be done with it.

  She hadn’t been back more than half an hour when her phone rang. Dressed in her robe and sipping tea in the kitchen, she grabbed the receiver.

  “Susannah, it’s Nate. Can I come over?”

  Glancing down at her robe and fuzzy slippers, she decided it wouldn’t take her long to change.

  “Give me five minutes.”

  “All right.”

  Dressed in slacks and a sweater, she opened the door at his knock. “Hi,” she said cheerfully, aware that her mouth had probably formed a crooked grin despite her efforts to smile naturally.

  Nate barely looked at her. His hands were thrust deep in his pockets, and his expression was disgruntled as he marched into her apartment. He didn’t take a seat but paced the carpet in front of her fireplace. Obviously something was going on.

  She sat on the edge of the sofa, watching him, feeling morethanalittlerecklessandexhilaratedfromherpromotionandthecelebrationafterward. She was amused, too, at Nate’s peculiar agitation.

  “I suppose you want to talk to me about the job offer,” she said, surprised by how controlled her voice sounded.

  He paused, splayed his fingers through his thick hair and nodded. “That’s exactly what I want to talk about.”

  “Don’t,” she said, smiling up at him.

  His forehead puckered in a frown. “Why not?”

  “Because I’d like you to give long and careful consideration to the proposal.”

  “I need to explain something to you first.”

  Susannah wasn’t listening. There were far more important things she had to tell him. “You’re personable, bright and attractive,” she began enthusiastically. “You could be anything you wanted, Nate. Anything.”

  “Susannah…”

  She waved a finger at him and shook her head. “There’s something else you should know.”

  “What?” he demanded.

  “I’m in love with you.” Her glorious confession was followed by a loud yawn. Unnerved, she covered her mouth with the tips of her fingers. “Oops, sorry.”

  Nate’s eyes narrowed suspiciously. “Have you been drinking?”

  She pressed her thumb and index finger together and held them up for his inspection. “Just a little, but I’m more happy than anything else.”

  “Susannah!” He dragged her name out into the sigh. “I can’t believe you.”

  “Why not? Do you want me to shout it to all of Seattle? Because I will. Watch!” She waltzed into the kitchen and jerked open the sliding glass door.

  Actually, some of the alcohol had worn off, but she experienced this irrepressible urge to tell Nate how much she’d come to care for him. They’d skirted around the subject long enough. He didn’t seem to want to admit it, but she did, especially now, fortified as she was with her good fortune. This day had been one of the most fantastic of her life. After years of hard work, everything was falling into place, and she’d found the most wonderful man in the world to love—even if he was misguided.

  The wind whipped against her on the balcony, and the multicolored lights from the waterfront below resembled those on a Christmas tree. Standing at the railing, she cupped her hands around her mouth and shouted, “I love Nate Townsend!” Satisfied, she whirled to face him and opened her arms as wide as she could. “See? I announced it to the world.”

  He joined her outside and slid his arms around her and closed his eyes. Susannah had expected him to show at least some emotion.

  “You don’t look very happy about it,” she challenged.

  “You’re not yourself,” he said as he released her.

  “Then who am I?” Fists digging into her hips, she glared up at him, her eyes defiant. “I feel like me. I bet you think I’m drunk, but I’m not.”

  He didn’t reply. Instead he threw an arm over her shoulder and urged her into the kitchen. Then, quickly and efficiently, he started to make coffee.

  “I gave up caffeine,” she muttered.

  “When was this? You had regular coffee today at lunch,” he said.

  “Just now.” She giggled. “Come on, Nate,” she cried, bending forward and snapping her fingers. “Loosen up.”

  “I’m more concerned about sobering you up.”

  “You could kiss me.”

  “I could,” he agreed, “but I’m not going to.”

  “Why not?” She pouted, disappointed by his refusal.

  “Because if I do, I may not be able to stop.”

  Sighing, she closed her eyes. “That’s the most romantic thing you’ve ever said to me.”

  Nate rubbed his face and leaned against the kitchen counter. “Have you had anything to eat since lunch?”

  “One stuffed mushroom, a water chestnut wrapped in a slice of bacon and a piece of celery filled with cheese.”

  “But no dinner?”

  “I was going to make myself some toast, but I wasn’t hungry.”

  “After a stuffed mushroom, a celery stick and a water chestnut? I can see why not.”

  “Are you trying to be cute with me? Oh, just a minute, there was something I was supposed to ask you.” She pulled herself up short and covered one eye, while she tugged at her memory for the date her sister had mentioned. “Are you doing anything on the seventeenth?”

  “The seventeenth? Why?”

  “Michelle’s coming over to visit her auntie Susannah and I know she’ll want to see you, too.”

  Nate looked even more disturbed, but he hadn’t seemed particularly pleased about anything from the moment he�
��d arrived.

  “I’ve got something else that night.”

  “Oh, well, I’ll make do. I have before.” She stopped abruptly. “No, I guess I haven’t, but Michelle and I’ll be just fine, I think…”

  The coffee had finished dripping into the glass pot. Nate poured a cup and, scowling, handed it to her.

  “Oh, Nate, what’s wrong with you? You’ve been cranky since you got here. We should be kissing by now and all you seem to do is ignore me.”

  “Drink your coffee.”

  He stood over her until she’d taken the first sip. She grimaced at the heat. “You know what I drank tonight? I’ve never had them before and they tasted so good. Shanghai Slungs.”

  “They’re called Singapore Slings.”

  “Oh.” Maybe she was more confused than she thought.

  “Come on, drink up, Tokyo Rose.”

  Obediently Susannah did as he said. The whole time she was sipping her coffee, she was watching Nate, who moved restlessly about her kitchen, as if unable to stand still. He was disturbed about something, and she wished she knew what.

  “Done,” she announced when she’d finished her coffee, pleased with herself and this minor accomplishment. “Nate,” she said, growing concerned, “do you love me?”

  He turned around to face her, his eyes serious. “So much I can’t believe it myself.”

  “Oh, good,” she said with an expressive sigh. “I was beginning to wonder.”

  “Where are your aspirin?” He was searching through her cupboards, opening and closing the ones closest to the sink.

  “My aspirin? Did telling me how you feel give you a headache?”

  “No.” He answered her with a gentle smile. “I want to have it ready for you in the morning because you’re going to need it.”

  Her love for him increased tenfold. “You are so thoughtful!”

  “Take two tablets when you wake up. That should help.” He crouched in front of her and took both her hands in his. “I’m leaving tomorrow and I won’t be back for a couple of days. I’ll call you, all right?”

  “You’re going away to think about my job offer, aren’t you? That’s a good idea—when you come back you can tell me your decision.” She was forced to stop in order to yawn, a huge jaw-breaking yawn that depleted her strength. “I think I should go to bed, don’t you?”