Lois Lavrisa - Chubby Chicks 02 - Murderous Muffins

by Lois Lavrisa

  “And poof. Handcuffs appear out of thin air and go on him. Then instantaneously he’s behind bars, right?” I snapped my fingers.

  “It could happen that way.”

  “How did we get into such a pickle?”

  “A guy died in your house after eating tainted muffins, your muffins. So, Bezu, whether you like it or not, you are involved.”

  My gut sank. “Cat, what’s going to happen when the police get a hold of the report about the poison in the food—my food?”

  Cat draped an arm around me. “We have to take control of this and hand over the real killer before the police take you in.”

  “Even though I don’t want to butt up against José’s wishes, I think you’re right. We need to be proactive.” I clenched and unclenched my hands.

  “Relax, I’m going to be with you the whole way,” Cat said.

  “When Hattie would face a fear she needed to conquer, she’d say ‘Damn the consequences, it’s time to throw caution to the wind.’ Maybe this is what I need to do, too.”

  “Great.”

  “So, expert sleuth, what next?” I asked.

  Cat said, “We need to find Joseph. He has to be the killer.”

  “Where do we begin?”

  “Luiz told us that he gave Joseph a few days off of work. We need to find him. But where do we start?”

  “When he came here yesterday demanding money from Mr. Phong, he sat on the front porch and dropped some receipts,” I said.

  Cat twisted the ring on her thumb. “So he’s a litterbug. How’s that helping?”

  “One was from Sanders Tavern and one was from the oriental food market off Whitaker.”

  Cat’s face lit up with a huge smile as she embraced me. “That’s the clue we need.”

  “How so?” I asked. “He bought some food, and he drinks, so what’s the big deal with that?”

  Cat grabbed my shoulders. “Don’t you see? This all makes sense now.”

  “What does? Are you talking about the receipts?” I asked.

  “Not the oriental market one but the other one from Sanders Tavern.”

  “Oh?”

  “Sanders Tavern is known to have a high-stakes poker game in their back room. Very confidential and by invite only.”

  “Okay, now you are worrying me. How do you know about this?” I smiled.

  “José.” Cat held a finger up. “That’s how.”

  “That’s where he plays poker?”

  “Yes.”

  “I guess I didn’t catch the details.”

  “Here’s what I think. Joseph has a gambling problem and is over his head in debt to someone. He needs money to pay them back. That’s why he’s stealing secrets and selling them. And that’s why he needed the money back from Mr. Phong, enough to kill him.”

  I wanted to share her enthusiasm, but I had my doubts. “That is quite a stretch. I’m sure that people get tangled up in money issues and don’t resort to being a murderer.”

  “I know, but what if Joseph got threatened by someone from a mob, and they wanted payback?” Cat rubbed her eyes.

  “‘Revenge is a dish which tastes best when served cold.’”

  “Say what?”

  “When I heard you say mob, it reminded me of a line from The Godfather. Anyway, if Joseph was caught up with someone ruthless, like in the Mafia, then he could be in huge trouble. Enough that he’d do anything to get out of it,” I said, although I thought that this speculation sounded no more productive than a dog chasing its tail.

  Cat said, “Now you’re on the right track. Let’s go find him.”

  “If that’s what you think we should do, then I will go with you.” My phone rang. I held up a finger for Cat to hold on a second, and then I pulled it from my purse and answered.

  “Miss Bezu, this is Lily, and I am so very sorry to bother you.”

  “Hi, Lily, what can I do for you?”

  “I ran out today, and I think I left my flat iron on. I feel so bad. It has an automatic shut off and all, but it hasn’t been working very well. I don’t want to burn down your house. I left it on the sink in my bathroom,” Lily said.

  I asked her, “Would you like me to unplug it?”

  “Yes, that would be great. Please don’t mind the mess. I didn’t have a chance to clean up, either,” Lily said.

  “Don’t worry about anything. I’ll be glad to turn it off. You have a good day.” I clicked off.

  “Is everything okay?” Cat asked.

  I put my phone in my purse. “I just need to go upstairs and turn something off in Lily’s room. You’re welcome to join me.”

  A few moments later, with Cat beside me, I unlocked Lily and Frank’s bedroom door.

  Upon entering the room, I noticed a pile of clothes in the corner, but also a plate on the dresser. The same floral china I put out every morning with the muffins. My stomach twisted as I walked over to get a better look at it. Picking up the plate, I saw crumbs from my muffins. I called over to Cat, my voice shaking, “I hope Lily and Frank didn’t eat any of the tainted muffins.”

  “If they did, they would be sick by now or worse, right?”

  I loudly exhaled as though my breath had been caught in my chest. “I guess you’re right. Maybe this was from an earlier batch.” I set the plate down and strode to the bathroom. On the marble sink was the flat iron. It was still warm. I pulled the plug from the wall. “I’m glad Lily called and told me that she left this on.”

  “Wow, that is one sexy, skimpy outfit.” Cat pointed at a red rhinestone and chiffon negligee that hung from a hanger on the closet door. Under that on the floor were sky-high stilettos. Three more similar outfits were on a chair.

  Turning away, I said, “I feel like I’m violating their privacy seeing all of this.”

  “She gave you permission to come in here.”

  “Yes. But this still bothers me.” I waved my hand at the red outfit. Taped on the wall next to it was a poster announcing a bodybuilding contest with a ten-thousand-dollar prize.

  “Hey, they’re young. When Andrew and I were newlyweds, I played dress-up for him.” Cat grinned.

  “Too much information, Cat.” I held up a hand.

  “I’m just saying lighten up.” Cat pointed to a stack of bills. “Whoa. That is a lot of green.”

  There were three stacks of bills, each an inch tall. “She said she worked over the bridge. I’m assuming all that is from tips.”

  Cat arched an eyebrow. “The only thing over the bridge is a strip club.”

  “I know.” I shook my head. “I hoped she was a wait staff somewhere else, like the waffle house down the street or the hotel. I’m not sure that they wear outfits that revealing, but who knows?”

  Cat waved a hand. “No server that I know dresses like that. I think she may be working the stage.”

  I sighed. “She’s such a sweet girl to be a stripper. I wish she did something else to make money.”

  “It doesn’t mean she’s a bad person. People do what they have to do.” Cat peered out the window above the dresser.

  “Thinking of all of those creepy men who go to those places staring at Lily, it just tears me apart.” My stomach sank as though a bowling ball were lodged in it. “Maybe if she had a better job, then she wouldn’t have to do that.” Then I remembered that Luiz had said that he wanted to hire more staff at his company. Perhaps I could get him to hire Lily.

  “Good news.” Cat picked up a large black T-shirt and held it up. On the front, in bold white letters, was Bare Assets Club Bouncer. “Looks like her boyfriend works there, too.”

  “How is that positive?”

  Cat turned her palms up. “I’m sure he looks out for her, right?”

  “I would certainly hope so.” I strode to the door. “Let’s get out of here.”

  Cat followed me. “Good point. We need to get going and find Joseph.”

  Locking the door, I said to Cat, “That was emotional, seeing what I saw in there. She’s like a daughter to me
.” My heart sank as I pictured Lily in the strip club.

  Cat placed her hand on my back as we moved down the hallway. We stopped at the top of the stairs. Cat faced me. “But she’s not your daughter. She’s a woman making her own decisions. And she seems like a smart girl, too. So trust her.”

  We took the stairs. “I don’t know how you do it. Having four kids to fret about. I’d be near the grave if I were in your shoes.”

  Cat opened the front door. “I’m taking one day at a time, hoping that I build a strong foundation for them that will help them make good choices. That’s all I can do. That and love them a lot.”

  A few minutes later, we were driving down Victory Drive. The inside of Cat’s SUV smelled like bubble gum and coffee. Cat flicked her turn signal. “So I say we head to Sanders Tavern. I think it’s near Sunshine Market.”

  “It’s a little farther past your store on Bull Street.”

  “Have you been there?”

  “Not me. But I know about it. On the first Friday of the month, my father had a standing meeting with a group of his friends. They had what they called their monthly burger, beer, and bull session.” I smiled as I thought of my father.

  “That sounds like it was fun.” Cat merged into the right lane.

  I nodded. “So what are we going to say when we get there? And what do we do if Joseph is not there?”

  “Slow down there, Bezu. We’ll wing it. That’s what we will do. These things seem to work out somehow. Annie Mae and I lucked out finding Lucy’s killer.”

  “From what you all told me, you also nearly got yourself killed, burned up in a dumpster, and arrested.” I frowned, thinking of my friends placing themselves in danger.

  Cat smiled. “It worked.”

  “Let’s just make sure you and I stay safe, okay?”

  She shrugged. “No promises.”

  ***

  We entered the dark, smoky tavern. “Folsom Prison Blues” played on the jukebox. Both Hattie and I loved Johnny Cash and listened to his music ceaselessly. I could recognize any of his songs in one beat. Humming along, I followed Cat as we wove our way around some tables and chairs.

  A lone man sat at the bar; other than that, Sanders Tavern looked pretty empty.

  The bartender, who had colorful tattoos adorning his arms and neck, asked us, “You girls want a beer?”

  “Not me,” Cat said.

  After what had been going on in my life, a little fortification wouldn’t hurt. “Do you have Baileys and coffee?”

  Cat cocked her head as she looked at me.

  “What? I need a little strength.” Taking out my credit card, I placed it on the bar. After completing the transaction and having the first jolt from my drink, we walked around. “What are we looking for?”

  “You sure are a lightweight. One drink and you forgot that we’re looking for Joseph.” Cat grinned.

  “That’s why I have you as a friend. You keep me from going off chasing butterflies when I should be picking vegetables.”

  “I’m assuming that’s what happened in your childhood, right?”

  “Yes.” My heart warmed for a moment as I recalled our family’s backyard garden. Hattie would send me out to pick vegetables for dinner and I would come back empty-handed. Instead, I would regale her with a story of a butterfly that I had seen.

  We approached the back of the bar. There were three closed doors. One of the doors was marked men, the other, ladies. One was unmarked.

  “I bet this is where the poker game is. Behind here.” Cat tapped on the unmarked door.

  “It’s just not good manners to go barging in someplace you weren’t invited.” I bit my bottom lip.

  The door opened, and a man at least a head taller than I and twice as wide said to us, “Go away. This is by invite only.” The door slammed.

  “How rude.” Cat scowled.

  “See? I told you.” I pointed a finger at the door. “We were not invited.”

  Cat chuckled. “Well, I will just go home and wait for our invitation to arrive.”

  “Good. I think we’re on a wild goose chase anyway.”

  Cat pounded on the door. “Let me in. I’m on official business.”

  My words caught in my throat, barely allowing me to speak. “What in good gracious are you doing?”

  The door flew open. “I told you girls to leave. You have no business being here.”

  “You have to forgive my friend. I am so sorry. We were just leaving. We meant no trouble. Please, you go about whatever you’re doing back there. I don’t care.” I began to retreat.

  “Is somebody by the name of Joseph with a last name that begins with J back there?” Cat asked.

  “What in God’s name are you two doing here?” José emerged from behind the man guarding the door.

  “You know them?” the man asked José.

  “I’ll handle it from here. Thanks so much.” José narrowed his eyes at us. The man retreated.

  “You are going to let us in, right?” Cat asked.

  José crossed his arms. “That depends on what you all are doing here.”

  “We were hoping to find Joseph,” I said.

  “And how do you know that he is back here?” José asked.

  “He had a receipt with this establishment’s name on it,” I said.

  José chortled. “Good clue. So why do you want him?”

  “We think he’s the key to the murder. Or possibly the killer. If we don’t find him, Bezu is going to be behind bars,” Cat said.

  “Now that’s a little dramatic, Cat. You all know I didn’t kill anyone. The truth will come out. No one is going to prison except the person who’s guilty,” I said.

  “That’s why we’re here to find the person who’s responsible. If not, it could all lead to you.” Cat pointed to me.

  “So I just want to get this right. You want Joseph in order to expose him as the murderer.” José cocked his head. “Even though I have told you both to stay out of the case, you’re going to insist on pursuing it anyway?”

  Cat and I nodded.

  “Once you talk to him, you will leave. Is that right?” José asked.

  “Yes.” Cat asked, “So that means he’s back there?”

  José jerked his head back, indicating something behind him.

  “Just give us five minutes of his time. We promise we won’t cause any trouble, cross my heart.” Cat motioned with her hand.

  “Yes, we are definitely not going to be a nuisance,” I said. Although I wondered about Cat. From what I’d heard, Annie Mae and Cat had caused a mile of problems during their investigation of Lucy’s death. But I had to admit, in the end, it all worked out. I just hoped we would stay out of any situation that would put us in jeopardy.

  “Here’s the thing, ladies, I have to vouch for you because you have to understand that nobody is allowed here who is not part of the heavy hitters in our game,” José said.

  “Gambling?” Cat asked.

  “I can neither confirm nor deny this. Let’s just say that what goes on behind the doors should never be repeated outside the doors.” José’s brow creased. “Never.”

  Cat threw her hand up in the air. “I got it. It’s like Vegas. What goes on there stays there. My lips are sealed.”

  I held my hand to my chest. “José, trust me. I’m the last person who would want trouble. I promise I won’t say anything about any of this.”

  José led us into the room, locking the door behind us. Five men were seated at the round table in the dimly lit, smoky room. As soon as Joseph saw us, he jumped up.

  “Hold on, buddy. Can you do me a favor and just talk to my friends a few minutes?” José said.

  José emphasized the word friends. He stood a good foot taller and probably weighed close to fifty pounds more than Joseph. I believed that Joseph must have felt intimidated.

  Joseph slowly turned toward us. “So sorry, Mr. José. I cannot talk to them.”

  “Is that so?” José said to Joseph.

&nb
sp; “I’m busy. Need to win big. Not stop now.” Joseph sat down.

  I guess he wasn’t as frightened by José as I thought he was. Perhaps they’d been poker buddies for a while.

  “Please, we only need a minute of your time,” Cat said to Joseph.

  “Ladies, I can’t make him talk to you,” José said.

  Joseph plopped in his chair and picked up his cards.

  I looked over at José. He shrugged his shoulders as if to say there was nothing he could do.

  Cat pulled me aside. “Joseph’s being stubborn, but I have an idea. Just follow my lead.”

  A sinking feeling in my gut indicated to me that I might regret what she had in mind.

  Cat led me to a spot behind Joseph. A hand had just been dealt. The other men at the table eyed us.

  I whispered in Cat’s ear. “Perhaps we should just go.”

  Cat winked at me. “Trust me.”

  I arched an eyebrow.

  Cat peered at Joseph’s cards. “King of Spades.”

  Joseph glared at Cat as he hunched over his cards. “Leave me alone. I had bad luck. But luck I feel is changing.”

  José shook his head and picked up his cards.

  I could sense that although José didn’t agree with Cat’s methods, he wasn’t going to stop her, either.

  The dealer dealt two cards to each of the six players, then flopped three cards onto the middle of the table—all three of them spades.

  Cat inched closer to Joseph, her head above his left shoulder. “Are a two and three of spades a good hand?”

  Each of the players folded, a few spouted obscenities.

  Joseph’s head sank onto the tabletop. He whimpered. “What’s it going to take to get you out of here?”

  Cat said, “Talk to us.”

  “If I were you, I would give the ladies some of your time, or they will never leave,” José said to Joseph. He turned to the rest of the players. “Hey, guys, let’s take five.”

  “You bug me like a rodent.” Joseph stood and followed us to the other side of the room.

  “Yes, I’m a pest, but I get what I need, eventually.” Cat put a hand on Joseph’s shoulder. “Where were you the night your cousin, Mr. Phong, died?”

  “I already talk to police. No need to talk to you.” Joseph pursed his lips.

  Pour sugar on them, Hattie used to say. I spoke to him in a saccharin-sweet voice. “You seem like such a nice man, and I am sure that you want to get back to the card game. I have a feeling you are going to win really big tonight. If you just answer Cat’s question, we will be out of your way. How would you like that?”