Siren's Song

by Kaye Draper

  Grey lifted his head and took his notes out, not meeting anyone’s eyes. “Thanks.” His tone was flat. “But it wasn’t some gay tryst. I just couldn’t keep up with the rest of you alcoholics, so I decided to go home.” Maybe he should take a little stroll down to the ocean after practice, keep walking until the waves took him away. “How should we set up the stage?”

  Chapter 26

  Luca took the dripping plate from his brother and wiped it off before setting it aside with the others. Their kitchen was small. It was kind of an unspoken rule between them that they do dishes every night, otherwise they’d run out of plates and utensils. Living like this would probably seem strange to other siblings, but Luca and Cameron were twins. They had always been close, supporting each other, even when Luca’s father had shipped him away to keep Cam safe.

  Cameron’s face was distant as he scrubbed at a frying pan. “What happened with Grey the other night?” Luca asked casually.

  People joked about it, but the whole twin thing was real. He had a knack for knowing his brother was upset or happy, even when it wasn’t painted on his face. And right now…Cam was worrying about something.

  His brother didn’t look at him, just kept scrubbing. “Do you think it will ever go back to the way things were…before The Change?”

  Luca sighed. “No. I don’t.”

  It sounded harsh. Anyone else might suspect the golden boy to be thinking about chicks, but Luca knew better. He knew his brother was probably thinking about their mother. It was always about her, in some fashion. But it was better for Cameron to realize she wasn’t ever coming back. Maybe then he could move on with his life and stop clinging to the high school jock image.

  Cam sighed and set the frying pan aside to be dried. “Are you in love with the guy?”

  Luca dropped the fork he was drying. Okay. He hadn’t seen that one coming. “What?”

  “Grey. You guys are always together. He’s all you ever talk about.” Cameron finally looked at Luca, embarrassed curiosity in his eyes.

  Luca cleared his throat and looked away. “That’s just….” He took a breath. He couldn’t explain to his brother, not really. There were things Cameron didn’t know. That he didn’t want to know. And the things he did know were bad enough. “No. I’m not. You know I’m into girls.”

  Cameron laughed. “Yeah, that’s the understatement of the year! I just thought maybe…well I’ve heard that some guys get desperate enough that it doesn’t matter anymore...I thought maybe you might have, you know, changed?”

  Cam gave Luca a lecherous grin, obviously trying to hide his discomfort. “That guy is prettier than most girls I’ve met. Maybe you could pretend he’s a girl.” He looked thoughtful. “I suppose with the lights off and your hands in all that curly hair, you wouldn’t know who was sucking you off. You could just imagine….”

  Luca slammed the frying pan he’d just started drying down on the counter. “Cam!”

  His brother looked at him in surprise. “Chill, dude. I was just messing around.” He gave Luca an incredulous look. “Man, what is with you?” But he looked faintly guilty about his teasing.

  Luca shrugged and went to put away the dishes, forcing himself to act calm. “Nothing.” On one hand, he was pissed. On the other, he couldn’t really yell at Cam and defend Grey…because that would undermine Grey’s attempts to get Cam’s attention. His head hurt.

  “Really,” Cam’s voice had lost its teasing tone. “Sometimes I’m so desperate I’d almost consider it. You know, dating a guy.” He blushed. “Ah…shit, forget I said that. I’m pretty sure I don’t work that way. But…you might? I’m just trying to, you know…be supportive and shit.”

  Luca took a deep breath. He was about to say things he never, ever wanted to say out loud. “No, I get it.” He sorted the silverware into the drawer. “Who knows if we’ll ever be allowed off this island. It’s not like anyone wants to be alone for the rest of their lives.” He shrugged. “And…well, I’ve always dated women…but maybe none of that stuff matters. A person could do worse than Grey for a partner.”

  He looked up to see how Cam was taking this. His brother was turned away, busy wiping down the stove. But Luca knew Cam was listening. Maybe all these questions were just Cam’s way of saying he was interested in Grey. Maybe he just wanted to know what Luca would think if he went for it.

  “He’s not just pretty,” Luca said quietly. “He’s a great guy. He’s smart and funny. And he’s just unbelievably…fierce. You should get to know him better. You know, outside of playing football.”

  Cam laughed and turned to give him a look that reminded Luca his brother wasn’t as dumb as he pretended to be most of the time. “I know you’re trying to hook me up with him. He told me.” He gave a short laugh. “You’re so weird. I can’t believe you got some guy to make a pass at me. Moron.” He picked up a plate from the waiting pile and started drying it. “He’s not into me, Luca. He’s just been too afraid to tell you that because he thinks you won’t want him around if there’s no big, stupid ulterior motive.” He shrugged and turned to put the plates away in a nearby cabinet. “So you can stop trying to pawn him off on me, dumbass.”

  Luca opened and closed his mouth, not quite sure what to say. “Grey…told you he doesn’t want you? I thought you turned him down. I thought that’s why he seemed so upset.”

  Cameron snorted, and his blue-eyed, don’t-be-dumb expression reminded Luca of their father for a second there. “He just asked me for advice. He’s one confused little weirdo. But I’m not the one he’s crushing on like some virgin kid.” Then he tossed the washcloth into the sink and headed to the living room.

  Luca leaned against the counter. That was…. What? Grey didn’t want Cam. But…there was someone else? He ran a hand over his face, firmly shoving down the immediate surge of hope. He leaned over the sink and sprinkled some goldfish food into the fishbowl that sat on the windowsill. All he could manage to feel was a sort of frustrated anger. Something like jealousy. A lot like it.

  Why had Grey told Cameron all about whoever he was apparently so head-over-heels for that he’d forgotten all about his childish crush on the jock? He’d told Luca about his stupid crush on Cam. Why wouldn’t he share this? Unless…he was afraid Luca wouldn’t like it.

  Damn it. The only reason Grey would have to think Luca would ever object to him dating someone was if he was afraid it was going to hurt the band.

  So was it Ethan or Mat? He ran a hand through his hair, yanking it out of its short ponytail and snapping the band in his irritation. It was laughable, really. For one brief, glorious second there, Luca had almost thought it was him.

  He watched the ethereal, microscopic creatures in the bowl as they danced at the top, vying for food. Cam thought they were sea monkeys. He was just as blind as any other human, unable to see something infinitely precious and unique, even when it was staring right at him.

  A mere human didn’t deserve Grey. Not when they couldn’t see even half of his radiance.

  “You are a complete fucking moron,” he told himself. Then he went to take out the trash.

  Chapter 27

  Seal Park was a popular place before The Change. Grey could remember when it had been filled with kids of all genders, their ecstatic shrieks ringing across the banks of the inlet. Now the place was deserted. Even without the frigid weather, the mood was changed when the only patrons were a few little boys brought to the park by fathers who were probably lost in memories of family outings with mothers and sisters they’d never see again.

  A single seal gave a lonely cry and slipped off its rock into the water. Their numbers were dwindling, and Grey wondered if the whole island wasn't about to come to a frozen standstill.

  Grey had woken up far too early this morning and been unable to go back to sleep. He wandered around the house until he was about to go stir crazy. Then he wandered of the house and down the road to the park. His gloved hands wrapped around the cold metal chain as he pushed himself on his swi
ng, trying not to think of his romantic life.

  Of course, just when he succeeded in distracting himself, Luca appeared.

  It was cold enough today that even Grey’s freakish body felt the chill and he was tolerating the frigid air as a sort of penance. He didn't need more punishment, thank you very much. It was bad enough without the intuitive, black-haired fiend sitting down on the swing next to his and looking right into his damned soul. Grey hadn’t heard from Luca since the whole Cameron thing. But if he was here now, looking at him the same as always, Cam probably hadn’t ratted Grey out. Maybe.

  “Hey,” Luca said, his deep voice cajoling and apologetic. “Sorry for being such an ass the other night.”

  Grey shook his head, shocked into appalled silence when he felt a hot tear slip down his cheek. No way was he that upset over the thought that Luca was mad at him, that his anger last time they spoke had been an indicator that their friendship was on the skids. Jesus, he wasn’t a…a freaking…girl.

  Luca leaned close and brushed his fingertips across Grey’s cheek, his swing twisting perilously as he dangled out of it. “Come on. Don’t do that.”

  A warmth started in Grey’s stomach and spread upward. He looked into Luca’s dark blue eyes and a voice inside his head whispered to him, wondered what would happen if he closed the space between them, if Luca's full lips were as soft and inviting as they looked.

  Grey snuffed out the thought, shoved it down with his same old, tired litany of excuses. Luca was a good friend. He was a bandmate. He had tried to hook Grey up with his brother. There was no way he would be interested in Grey himself. Besides, making a pass at him when he thought Grey was into Cameron would just look tacky. It wouldn't seem sincere, just pathetic and desperate. Like maybe if he couldn’t have Cam, he’d settle for Luca as second best.

  Just then Grey noticed something hovering near Luca’s shoulder. He squinted and tilted his head, trying to reconcile what he was seeing with something normal, something real. The little thing was the size of a mayfly, and it wavered in and out of existence, as if Grey’s mind couldn’t quite deal with seeing the tiny, fairy-like creature swimming lazy circles around his friend’s head. Grey sat back, pushed his hair out of his face, and tilted his head back to stare up at the snow clouds overhead, pretending the past few moments hadn’t just happened.

  Luca chuckled. “It will all work out,” he said confidently. If he had noticed Grey’s momentary oddness, he just accepted it as normal. Poor guy, he was getting used to putting up with this level of weird. Grey felt Luca shift beside him, and knew, instinctively, that Luca was aping his posture. It was like Grey was suddenly aware of every move the long, lean man made, like he was an extension of himself. He had the sudden urge to sing to him, but clamped his lips shut against the stupid notion.

  “You just have to believe that love will win out,” Luca was saying, hushed and sad. “That it can overcome anything.” Such sappy sentiment for a guy. Grey felt guilty letting Luca encourage him about Cameron. It was stupid, and he was done with it.

  “I’m not in love with your brother,” Grey blurted, feeling his face go hot and cold, like his body just couldn’t decide if he should burn up, or faint. Luckily his irritation at himself and his juvenile antics was enough to keep him conscious and fire-free. “It was a dumb kiddie crush and a stupid idea to try to hook me up with him. But I just thought you wouldn’t want me around anymore if I told you. So I played along. I’m sorry. I just…besides Abbie, I don’t have any real friends, Luca. I didn’t want to lose you and the band.” He snorted. “I’m an idiot.”

  Luca was quiet for a long time, as Grey stared out toward the ocean. This was it. This was the day Luca realized he was spending way too much time befriending a complete loser and told Grey not to call him anymore.

  “Hey,” Luca said, startling Grey out of his moping. “I started writing a new song. Why don’t you come over and listen? Let me know what you think?”

  Grey took a deep breath. The way his emotions were fluctuating right now, he was bound to do something idiotic if he let himself be alone in an enclosed space with Luca. Something like tell him the real reason he hadn’t wanted to lose Luca, and that it wasn’t just about friendship. “I can’t. I’m meeting up with Abbie in a little bit. Maybe tomorrow.”

  Luca stood and stuffed his hands in his pockets, his broad shoulders slumping a bit before he took a breath and squared them again. “Sure. Tomorrow’s fine. If I get a chance, I’ll throw it on a CD for you or send you the file.” He reached out and snagged the chains of Grey’s swing with both hands, dragging it to a full stop, then leaned down to peer into Grey’s eyes. “You okay?”

  Grey’s world spun with the momentum and sudden halt of the swing. Too close. One heartbeat, two. Grey leaned back and kicked at Luca, not really connecting. “Yeah, yeah. I’m fine. Stop being a fussy old woman.”

  He wondered though, as he watched Luca walk away, fighting the rushing sound in his ears the whole time—was he really okay at all? Something inside felt chaotic and broken.

  Hopefully hanging out with Abbie would help. Considering his current mood, the rest of the day could hardly get any worse.

  The afternoon started out normal—or at least as normal as it got around Abbie. They got lunch and hit up a couple of shops so she could get her shopping fix, but Abbie had known Grey for years, and she clearly knew something was up with him lately. It was weird—normally Grey would have told Abbie all about the weird shit in his life like the hallucinations and the crap with his overly horny male body, but…it was like he could feel himself pulling away from the real world. Abbie compensated by teasing Grey mercilessly about just about everything, in an attempt to cheer him up. But things went south pretty quickly when they left the last shop. Grey and Abbie picked up a bit of trash as they made their way across town.

  Grey was beyond pissed off. He couldn’t catch a freaking break. And the raucous, milling flock of seagulls that followed above him everywhere he went these days was giving him a headache. He whirled back to face the men who were following them like a pack of jackals, barking and yipping with their catcalls and slurs, but never quite making contact.

  “Ooh,” said a short, stocky guy who seemed to be the instigator of the pack. He seemed thrilled that Grey had finally stopped ignoring them. "Gonna protect your girlfriend?”

  He and his cronies laughed at the incongruity of it. Grey knew what they were thinking. They were spoiling for a fight, and they thought the hulking tranny with Grey might be good sport. They didn’t care about her midget companion. Problem was, Grey was spoiling for a fight too.

  “You picked the wrong day to piss me off,” he said with a grin. Something felt wrong, had been growing steadily more wrong every damned day. He felt like he was losing control over something inside him—something that terrified him as much as it promised him complete freedom from all his worry and fear.

  The stocky guy guffawed at Grey’s statement. Then his eyes narrowed, and he gave a little shrug. If beating on the runt was all he could get, he’d take it. He closed with Grey, an overconfident, smug look on his ugly face.

  Grey wiped that look off with a right hook. The guy rocked back, his eyes round with surprise, a bloom of red already splotching his jaw.

  “Oh, now you did it!” a voice piped up from his pack of cronies.

  Grey glared at them and they shut up. His opponent swung at him, but Grey blocked the blow with his forearm and drove an elbow into the guy’s throat. The idiot coughed and charged again. Grey let him grab his arm and used that as leverage to deliver a spinning back kick to the guy’s ribs. He dropped like a rock. Grey would have walked away then, but the guy’s friends were watching. It wouldn’t end if he just walked away. They’d think they needed to get revenge, which was laughable, since they’d fucking started it to begin with. But that was how it went. Egos had to be reinflated and all.

  And Grey was getting fucking sick of the stupid game.

  Grey took a step forw
ard but stopped short when someone grabbed his wrist from behind. “Hey, stop!”

  He stared up into Luca’s dark blue eyes in surprise. Then he jerked away. If he didn't take care of this, these assholes would be hounding Abbie even worse next time, probably when she was alone and unable to defend herself.

  “Back off,” Grey said to Luca, short and clipped, that thing inside him pulsing with disgust at what he was becoming.

  He turned back to his opponent, who was still kneeling where he’d left him, clutching his side. Cracked ribs, probably. “If I see you anywhere near Abbie again, I’ll put you in intensive care.” A light kick to the face sent the guy’s eyes rolling back in his head before he hit the ground.

  Grey turned away, leaving the unconscious jerk to his friends. Luca and Abbie were standing side by side watching him, Luca with a look of disapproval, Abbie with a sort of resigned acceptance.

  Grey put his hands on his hips and eyed them critically. “I hate to break it to you, but you two make a terrible couple.”

  Luca was every bit as tall as Abbie, but his lean grace seemed to mock her, making her obvious masculinity stand out, even though she was the one in a dress. Luca turned to Abbie as if seeing her for the first time.

  “Um…oh, I’m Luca, by the way. We've met in passing at gigs, but I don't think Grey ever really introduced us.” He stuck out his hand and grinned at her. Grey was glad he wouldn’t have to beat sense into Luca like he had those other guys.

  Abbie gave Luca a coy smile. “Abbie.” She offered up a limp-fingered handshake and Grey rolled his eyes. “He's even hotter up close,” Abbie said in a loud side-whisper to Grey, her gaze devouring Luca’s long, dark hair and perfect frame.

  Grey sighed. “Yeah, he’s gorgeous. Can we go now?”