Finding Home with You

by Claire Raye

  “Ryan!”

  The sound of my name, brings me back to the here and now, my sister’s voice echoing up the stairs. Erin stirs in my arms, not quite waking up, despite the pounding that now sounds against my bedroom door.

  Slipping out from underneath her, I pull on some sweats before walking over and opening the door a crack. “What?” I ask, pissed at the interruption.

  Sarah rolls her eyes. “If you two are finished fucking, then dinner is almost ready,” she says.

  “Didn’t you two eat half the fucking house today?” I ask, remembering the empty pizza box and bag of chips on the living room floor when I walked in.

  “Yeah, and?” Sarah asks indignantly. “Anyway, Mom says you need to come down and eat.”

  I shake my head. “Jesus, Sare, you really need to move the fuck out of here.”

  Sarah punches me in the chest, a hard, quick jab that is half in jest and half serious. “Tried that, remember? But then some asshole kicked me out and left me with no other option.”

  “Come on, Sarah,” I say, rubbing my chest where she punched me. “You know why I did that,” I tell her. “Doesn’t mean I don’t still love you. Don’t want you to be happy and stuff.”

  “Ugh, whatever,” she says, rolling her eyes as she turns and heads back downstairs. “Dinner’s on the table in five minutes.”

  I shut the door, shaking my head as I turn and find Erin awake and watching me.

  “Don’t be so hard on her,” she says, rolling over. “She hates feeling trapped here like this.”

  I walk toward the bed, sitting down and running a hand down her back. “I know, babe,” I say. “I do want her to be happy, you know. I just don’t want her wasting her time doing something mindless and stupid.”

  Erin sits up, a sleepy smile on her face. “I know you love her, Ryan,” she says, brushing a hand over my cheek. “But it is her life and her decision to make.”

  I smile as I lean in and press a kiss to her lips now. “I love you,” I whisper. “And I really love that you had a good day today.”

  The rest of our time with my parents and Sarah passes easily, all of us sharing a last dinner and a late breakfast before Erin and I pack the car and head back to Rockport. It makes me smile watching her say goodbye to everyone, knowing how much of a good time she’s had and how comfortable she is around them all already.

  It’s exactly what I wanted to happen and when my mom hugs me goodbye and tells me how much they all love Erin too, I know I was right bringing her up here to meet them, even if it wasn’t the only reason for the trip this weekend.

  By the time we get back to Erin’s house, it’s late and although I definitely need to get back to Boston, I decide to stay the night with her first.

  “You mind if I borrow your car this week?” I ask, as we head inside her house.

  “No, of course not,” she says, over her shoulder as she heads to her bedroom. “Have it for the week if you want.”

  I nod, even though she can’t see me. “What if I get my car delivered here?” I ask, following her in. “It should be ready later this week and I can drive back up and we can switch cars?”

  “Sure,” she says. “Sounds like a plan.”

  I watch as she undresses, grabbing her clothes in her arms before walking into the bathroom. Something feels weird, and she hasn’t asked me a single thing about my trip out to the prison either. I can’t decide if it’s because she’s afraid I won’t tell her or she’s afraid I will.

  I follow her into the bathroom as I hear the shower starting up. Erin steps under the water, not looking at me as I strip my clothes off and follow her in.

  “You okay?” I ask.

  “Of course,” she says, standing under the water.

  I watch her for a second or two, wondering if she’s just saying that because she thinks it’s what I want to hear. “You sure about that?”

  “Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” she says and I instantly know that’s exactly what she’s doing.

  Stepping closer, I slide an arm around her waist and pull her against me. “You haven’t asked me a single thing about yesterday, Red,” I say, brushing her hair back. “Don’t you want to know about what happened out at the prison?”

  Erin turns in my arms, grabs the shampoo and starts working it through her hair. “You said you couldn’t talk to me about it,” she says and I can hear the sadness in her voice. “So, what’s the point of me asking?”

  I let out a long exhale, grabbing her hands and stilling her. “It turned out to be pointless,” I whisper, leaning down to rest my chin on her shoulder from behind. “It didn’t eventuate into anything.”

  “Does this mean you can tell me who you went to see?” she asks, leaning back against me.

  I close my eyes, pressing my lips against her neck. “It would be better if I didn’t.”

  I feel her exhale in my arms before she steps forward and starts to rinse the shampoo from her hair. I let her have a second, watching as she works the suds out.

  “So, what happens now?” she eventually asks.

  I switch places with her, sticking my head under the water. “Well,” I say, grabbing the shampoo. “Joe’s looking at some other options and tomorrow we’ll sit down with the captain and work out what our next move is.”

  “But you’re still looking for Anthony?” she asks, reaching up to help rinse the shampoo from my hair.

  “Yeah,” I say. “We really need to find him, Erin. He’s fucking dangerous and I don’t want him out on the streets where he can get to you.”

  “Do you really think he’d do that?” she asks.

  I run a hand through my hair before stepping forward and sliding my arms around her waist. “I have no idea what he’s fucking capable of,” I say, my eyes locked on hers. “And that’s what scares me more than anything.”

  “I don’t think he’d ever hurt me,” she says, slipping her arms around my waist.

  “You sure about that?” I ask, knowing he’s likely super pissed off about Erin and I being together. If he’s half as possessive as I know these mob guys are toward their women, then he won’t be happy with the idea of Erin sharing her bed with anyone, regardless of how long it’s been since she shared it with him.

  “Yeah,” she says, nodding at the same time.

  I stare down at her, wondering how the fuck she can be so sure about that. “You don’t know where we could find him, do you?”

  “No,” she says quickly. “Why would I, I haven’t seen him in forever.”

  “But you’d tell me if you did, right?” I ask, sliding my hands up her back and pulling her closer. “You’d tell me if he got in touch with you?”

  Erin swallows hard. “Of course,” she says, dropping her hands to my ass.

  “This is serious, Erin,” I stay, even as her nails dig into my skin, pulling me closer.

  “I know,” she whispers.

  “I won’t let anything happen to you, you know that right?”

  She looks up at me. “I do, Ryan. Really,” she says, before pushing up on her toes and kissing me hard.

  It’s a diversion tactic, I know that, but I let her have it. This whole weekend, shit, this whole week has already been a complete fucking nightmare. The last thing I want before I have to go back to Boston is to get into an argument about Erin’s ex-boyfriend, who happens to run the mob family that her father once did. The father who’s currently in jail and apparently still keen to talk to the daughter who walked out on her family and everything they stood for nearly ten years ago.

  The whole thing is already so surreal that if it wasn’t actually happening, I’d swear it was some over the top Hollywood movie.

  So, I let it go, pulling her closer as I deepen the kiss. The moan Erin lets out nearly undoes me and I can feel my cock hardening in response to her warm, wet body in my arms.

  “Erin,” I moan, as her hand slides down and grabs my cock.

  “What?” sh
e asks, breathless as she continues to kiss me while slowly pumping her hand up and down my shaft.

  “Fuck,” is all I can get out as she now drops to her knees and takes my cock in her mouth. My hands slide into her hair, gently guiding her as she starts to suck me off. It feels amazing, her hot wet mouth working me over.

  “You okay up there?” Erin asks, running her tongue around the head of my cock.

  “Yes,” I bite out. “But we need to get out of this shower.”

  Erin murmurs something and then her mouth is gone and she’s standing in front of me, her fingers curled around my cock again as she strokes me.

  “Fuck,” I say, “let’s go”.

  I gently push her out of the shower, grabbing a towel and half-drying both of us before throwing it on the floor. With a hand between her shoulder blades, I push her forward so she’s bent over the sink, both of us staring at our reflection in the bathroom mirror.

  I put a leg between hers and push them wider apart so her pussy is on display for me. With one hand still on her back, I run my other hand down her spine, tracing two fingers from the base of her spine and between the cheeks of her ass, before slowly sliding them inside her.

  She’s so fucking wet and I can’t help the groan that falls from my mouth as she pushes back against me, tries to pump herself against my fingers when I don’t move. “Shit, Red,” I say, my hand on her back sliding down to grip her hip now. “You’re drenched.”

  Erin turns and looks at me over her shoulder. Her hair is wild and her eyes are sparkling with an urgent need as though this is something she desperately wants. “We need to fuck,” she says, her voice low. “Now.”

  I stare back at her, knowing this isn’t just about needing sex, as I slide my fingers back into her pussy once more before pulling them out and sucking them in my mouth. Erin’s eyes widen and I keep my eyes on her as I give her ass a hard smack.

  “Whatever you want, Red,” I say, positioning my cock against her. “Whatever you want.” And then I slowly ease my dick inside, my eyes rolling back in my head as I bury myself all the way inside her.

  “Oh god,” she moans as I slowly pull out and repeat the movement. “Harder, Ryan,” she says. “I need you to fuck me harder.”

  I smack her on the ass again. “Is that what you want?” I ask, my voice low as I start to increase my tempo. “You want it like this?”

  “Harder,” she says again, her hand sliding between her legs as she starts to rub her clit.

  I grip her hips, bracing her against the counter as I start to pound my body against hers. We fuck for what feels like forever, Erin coming twice as I continue to move in and out of her from behind, forcing myself not to come so I can give her whatever it is that she needs right now. It’s both torturous and amazing all at the same time and when my balls finally start to tighten as Erin’s pussy clenches around me for the third time, I have to grip her tighter so I don’t pass out from the ecstasy.

  “I’m gonna come, babe,” I say, pushing deeper.

  “Fuck, so am I,” Erin says, her whole body shaking now.

  I push into her one more time, my balls exploding and sending jolts of pure pleasure all through me as I spill inside her and come for what feels like forever.

  When I’m finally done, I feel exhausted. I slide my arms around Erin’s waist, holding her body to mine as I all but collapse against her.

  Chapter Twenty

  Erin

  It’s early when Ryan leaves; the sky black and the bedroom shrouded in darkness as he leans down and kisses me good-bye. A whisper of “I love you” falls from his lips and I smile despite the hazy heaviness of sleep that tugs at me. He wouldn’t dare wake me up during my winter break because he knows I love to sleep in and that’s exactly what I do.

  When I do wake up, I grab for my phone noticing a text from Ryan saying he made it back to Boston, but even more, I notice that it’s nearly ten in the morning. As much as I love my breaks from work, I can’t spend the entire day sleeping.

  Even without opening the blinds in the bedroom I can tell it has snowed; a bright white glow floods itself into the room and for a second, I curse the fact that I don’t have a car.

  It’s been forever since I’ve seen Kelsey and I was planning to head over to the inn today to have breakfast with her. Clearly I’ve missed that mark, but I can still make it there for lunch. Although the idea of hoofing it through the snow isn’t my idea of a good time, and just as the thought is floating around in my mind, my phone chimes out with a text.

  Ryan: Car will be there sometime this afternoon, but the roads are shit so stay home. ;) Love you.

  Me: Got it, detective <3

  Even when he’s being bossy it’s still somehow adorable.

  Ryan and I have plans to exchange cars a little later in the week, so hopefully the snow has let up by then because driving into Boston in this shit weather won’t be an easy feat. The traffic will be terrible and the roads will be an even bigger mess, but having Ryan’s SUV over my little hatchback should help with that.

  Growing up outside of Atlanta has made me one of those people who is terrified to drive in the snow, a giant baby, and no matter how long I live here in Rockport, I can’t get used to it. The only thing I’m grateful for is that this town is so small that I can pretty much walk wherever I need and avoid roads if necessary.

  An hour later I’ve showered, dressed, had a cup of coffee and am pulling on a pair of snow boots that haven’t seen the light of day since this time last year.

  When I open the front door a blast of cold air invades my lungs and causes me to hold my breath for a second, but it’s short-lived. There’s something about the cold ocean breeze and the smell of the salt that makes walking in the winters of New England calming.

  It takes me a moment to realize that Ryan’s truck is sitting in my driveway. It must have been delivered while I was in the shower; the keys left at the police station with Finn the note taped to my door reads.

  Leave it to Ryan to ensure my safety at every turn. Most people would’ve just left the keys in the car or under the mat, but not Ryan. I’m sure the delivery driver was given explicit instructions on what to do should I not be home.

  With the cold air stinging my face, I set out walking to the inn, but still enjoying the fresh air and the freedom of not being bogged down by having to be at work.

  The wind follows me through the door when I reach the inn; the gale whips the papers on the front desk and sends a chill through the entryway.

  Kelsey looks up from the check-in desk and smiles at me as I stomp the snow from my boots.

  “Look what the cat dragged in,” she says, her tone playful and her smile bright. There hasn’t been a day that’s gone by that Kelsey and I haven’t texted each other, but it’s been at least a week since we’ve seen each other.

  She comes out from behind the front desk and gives me a quick hug, and then proceeds to walk into the dining room.

  The inn is quiet given it is the off season, but there are a few people eating lunch, and I know Kelsey is preparing for the Christmas Eve brunch the inn hosts every year.

  “How’s it going?” I ask as we sit down at a table in the corner away from any guests.

  “Fine,” she says. “Same old shit. Still trying to plan a wedding that I don’t think is ever going to happen.” She shrugs her shoulders and adds, “Between the finishing touches on the pub renovation and my job of…” she pauses a second and looks around, giving her eyes a roll, “planning everyone else’s shit, I can’t get it together to plan it.”

  “What about a destination wedding?” I suggest, thinking this might take some of the planning stress off of her.

  “I’d like to get married here at the inn since I don’t really have any family, like the inn keeps me connected to them.” She shakes her head and adds, “That sounds stupid, doesn’t it?”

  “Not at all. I get it. You want some connection to your family when y
ou get married. It’s a huge deal and being at the inn will give you that.”

  She nods her head, but I can tell the whole idea overwhelms her. In order to host her own wedding, she has to close the inn and she won’t do that. It’s her livelihood, it’s how she and Beck survive in this little town, and closing the inn means the pub would likely close for a bit of time too.

  “Speaking of planning, do you need any help with the Christmas Eve brunch?” I ask and she perks up a bit.

  “Sure. I’d love some help and I love it even more when you’re off work because I get to see you more often.”

  We chat about some of the things she still needs to do and I volunteer to mail fliers and help her with some of the Internet advertising.

  “Are you going to be able to come this year?” she asks and I can hear a hesitation in her voice, almost like she’s already prepared to be let down.

  I feel guilty, because I know I’ve spent way more time with Ryan than I have with her. Before Ryan came along, I spent nearly every day with Kelsey, even if it was something as simple as stopping by the inn after work. I’m sure her feelings are hurt, like I’ve ditched her for someone else. And essentially I have. The thought of it makes my heart ache because when everyone else failed me in my life she was there, she’s always there.

  As my thoughts are consumed with how much I’ve let her down recently, I find myself thinking about Finn and wondering if he’s feeling the same way.

  “Of course I’ll be there,” I tell her, my heart breaking at the idea that she even had to ask. I haven’t missed a Christmas Eve brunch at the inn since I moved to Rockport. “And I’m going to be around a lot more.” I swallow hard and add, “I’m sorry that I haven’t been around much.”

  “It’s okay. I did the same thing to you when Beck came back into my life, but now that I know he’s here to stay I couldn’t give a fuck about hanging out with him,” she says jokingly and lets out a little chuckle. That’s just the way relationships work. “You’re way more fun.”

  “Same with you,” I tell her knowing that while I adore Ryan, sometimes being with Kelsey is way easier.