Imperfect Truth

by C. A. Popovich

  “That’d be great. I’d love to go to the state fair. I haven’t been since they moved it to the Suburban Showcase. We’ll plan on it.”

  Alex grinned and relief flooded her expression. She was beautiful.

  “But right now I have to get to my next workshop. I’ll be in the same area Saturday as last time.”

  Debby stood to leave, and Alex startled her when she stood and wrapped her in a hug. “Thank you for being my friend,” Alex whispered, then released her and hurried from the room.

  Debby plunked back into her chair, and heat rose throughout her body at the memory of Alex’s breasts pressed against hers. She’d never reacted so intensely from an innocent hug before, and she was certain it was an innocent embrace. After all, they had agreed upon a safe, friendly affiliation without any emotional tethers. Fleeting thoughts of her list grounded her until she was able to turn her thoughts to compounded/alternative forms of drug compositions.

  *

  Alex went through the knocking routine twice before presuming Jennifer wasn’t home. She left a message on her voice mail and went home. “Hey, Abby. How’s my girl?” Abby sat facing Alex, cocking her head. “Let’s go for a walk.”

  The park was nearly empty when Alex arrived with Abby. The warm August day had turned cloudy, and a light drizzle had begun before they had gotten halfway through their walk. Alex watched the shadows begin to form as they followed their favorite path. Each silhouette of a tree became a pursuer and each sound became their footfalls. She picked up their pace until they were nearly running by the time they reached her door. She pulled Abby into the living room and quickly locked the door. Her heart felt like it was going to beat out of her chest, and her pulse raced with fear. Cold sweat trickled down her back, and she blinked back tears of frustration. She checked that the windows were all locked and turned off all the lights. She sat on her couch, her knees pulled to her chest, contemplating calling Joe again. Just as she picked up her phone, it chimed a text.

  It was good to see you at lunch today. I just wanted to let you know that I talked to Kristen about the wedding. A nice pair of slacks and shirt is what she suggested. I’ll probably wear what I had on today for the conference. We can talk more on Saturday. D

  Alex turned to recline and put her feet up on the couch before replying. Suddenly, with this small connection to the world outside her door, she could breathe again.

  It was good seeing you, too. Thanks for the info about the wedding. You looked very nice today, so I’ll work on finding something appropriate. See you Saturday. A

  Alex set her phone down, feeling more settled than she had all day. She put her yoga nidra DVD in her DVD player, slid down on the couch to rest her head on the armrest, and lost herself in meditation. Her past haunted her, but maybe, just maybe, there was a way to have some kind of future.

  Chapter Ten

  The stands were nearly full by the time Alex arrived at the fairgrounds. She squeezed into an empty seat next to a young blonde with a bag dog carrier hanging from her neck. A tiny, hairy white head stuck out of the opening and two big dark eyes regarded her warily. She smiled and whispered hello, eliciting a whimper and a curled tongue reaching for her. The girl shifted the bag when the little dog began wiggling and turned to face her.

  “Sorry. I didn’t mean to disturb you. Your small dog is a cutie.” Alex resisted reaching to pet the pintsized canine.

  “Thanks. His name’s MacIntosh, and he loves watching the barrel racers.” The girl scratched the dog’s head, and he reached for her hand with his tongue.

  Alex bent to eye level with MacIntosh. “Hello there, you. Do you like those big animals?”

  “Oh, he loves horses, especially my sister’s pinto. She’s riding third today.” The girl pointed toward the ring where the contestants were readying to ride.

  Alex scrambled to remember the riders’ names. “Kelly?”

  “Yeah! Do you know her?”

  “I saw her ride a couple of weeks ago. I’m here with my friend Debra Johnson.”

  “I know Debby. She and Kelly have been friends for years. My name’s Tory.” Tory shifted the dog pack and offered her hand in greeting.

  “Nice to meet you, Tory. I’m Alex Reed.” Tory didn’t look older than fourteen, and Alex was thrown back to a time she’d taken Jennifer to the rodeo for her fourteenth birthday. Another memory she couldn’t talk about. She smiled and gently squeezed Tory’s hand.

  They watched the competition with Alex shouting for Debby and Tory for Kelly until they both laughed and clapped for the winners, Kristen and Zigzag.

  “That was fun. I hope I see you again.” Tory’s blue eyes twinkled in the afternoon sun.

  “Me, too. I’m going to meet Debby for lemonade. See you, MacIntosh.” Alex scratched under his chin and watched his eyes close in contentment.

  Alex made her way down to the stand where she’d met Debby the first time and, as always, was struck by how beautiful she was. They ordered their drinks and sat down. “I met Kelly’s sister in the stands today. She seems like a nice kid. What is she, fourteen?”

  “Actually, she’ll be sixteen this month. She’s almost got her driver’s license. I haven’t seen Tory in months. I’m glad she was here today.” Debby sat straight in the white plastic chair and bent forward to touch her toes.

  “Back bothering you?” Alex laid her hands flat on the table to keep from offering to rub Debby’s back.

  “It’s not too bad, but maybe I need some more yoga at Jennifer’s.” Debby grinned, and Alex squirmed in her seat at the fluttering Debby’s smile always caused in her stomach.

  Debby’s mention of Jennifer reminded her that she still hadn’t seen her since her dinner party, and Joe hadn’t gotten back to her yet about the Martinez family. She stood, awash with anxiety. “I’ve got to go. Let me know what time you’ll pick me up for the wedding.” She hurried to her car without looking back. Please be okay. Please be okay.

  *

  Debby watched Alex’s hasty departure with astonishment. What did I say?

  “Hi, Deb. Was that Alex?” Kristen sat across from her with a cup of iced tea.

  “Yeah. She had something to do today and had to leave.” Debby struggled to figure out what had caused Alex to rush off, and her gut twisted at her lie to Kristen. She hated lying, nearly as much as she hated liars. But she didn’t want to make Alex look bad, either.

  “Ah. Good riding today. You and Shadow seem to have settled in. You looked great out there.”

  “Good job, yourself. I think Zigzag gets faster every week.” Debby looked toward the parking lot, wondering if Alex would return. And why it bothered her so much that she had left.

  “You okay? You seem distracted.”

  Debby blew out a breath and leaned on the table with her chin on her palm. “I don’t know. Alex and I were supposed to talk about the wedding today, but she left in such a hurry that we barely spoke at all.”

  “Huh. But you said she had something to do. Maybe it was important, and she forgot about it?”

  Kristen was a good friend, and she trusted her. She’d never had to resort to her list with her, and she questioned what was different about Alex. Why couldn’t she relax and let Alex be who she was, without turning to her list for protection? What was she trying to protect herself against? “I can’t figure her out sometimes. We get along great, and for the most part, I’m comfortable with her. There’s just something that bothers me, and I can’t put my finger on it.” She leaned back in her chair and shook her head, trying to figure out an answer to her dilemma.

  “You like her, don’t you?”

  “Yes. I like her, but I’ve known her since July, and I know virtually nothing about her. She avoids questions and offers little personal information.”

  “Maybe she’s a private person. A month and a half isn’t a long time to know someone, my friend.”

  “I told her about Evelyn. I would have thought she’d reciprocate.” Debby took a drink of her lemonade t
o try to wash away the taste of disappointment.

  “So that’s what this is about. Just because you disclosed the painful end to your relationship you think she should, too? Maybe she has nothing to tell.”

  “Yeah. Maybe I’m expecting too much. I’ll wait till the wedding and see if I get any more information out of her.”

  “That sounds like a good plan. The wedding’s going to be fun, and you don’t need to know all her deep, dark secrets just to have a good time with her. Let me know if you want to ride with me and Jaylin. We’re going to leave about three thirty.” Kristen finished her iced tea and stood.

  “I will.” Debby walked back to her car with Kristen and began planning her questions for Alex. She didn’t know why it mattered so much, but something about Alex captivated her and awoke long-suppressed emotions. Emotions that scared her to death.

  *

  Alex tried Jennifer’s door before leaving another voice mail message. If she didn’t hear back from her later, she’d contact Joe to see if he knew where she was. She didn’t believe they were in immediate danger, but she’d feel better if she could locate Jen. It could be this was her Saturday to work. She tried her work number but got the office voice mail. She tossed her phone on her nightstand, fed Abby, and plopped on the couch to watch TV.

  She flipped through several of the hundreds of cable channels before turning it off. She ought to call Debby and apologize, but she had to figure out an excuse for her rudeness first. They were supposed to talk about the wedding, and she hadn’t given her a chance to say anything. Reason enough.

  Her phone was flashing a missed call so she flopped on her bed and checked the readout. She listened to Jennifer’s voice mail message and sighed in relief. She was out with Phil and wouldn’t be home until late. She called up Debby’s number and got her voice mail.

  “Hi, Debby. It’s Alex. I just wanted to apologize for leaving so abruptly today. I had some personal issues to resolve. I’m looking forward to the wedding next weekend. I’ll talk to you one day this week to plan, okay?”

  She knew her excuse sounded lame, but she couldn’t tell Debby the truth. About anything, apparently. She paced the room, riffling through her memory for a clue as to how to explain her behavior. She understood the deputy marshals did their best to prepare them for the transition, but they didn’t have to live through it. They were living the lives they chose, while she felt like a social recluse. How could she make and keep friends when she had to worry about everything she disclosed? How could she build trust with someone when she had to hide the truth of her identity? She slumped back on her bed and covered her eyes with her arm. People do this. Other people manage to live this way. I just have to be comfortable with lying about who I’ve been and trade in the truth for who I am now. Easy.

  Alex blinked the sleep from her eyes and shook off the disorientation. She glanced at her clock radio, surprised that she’d been asleep for an hour. No answers to her dilemma had appeared in her dreams, so she rolled over and grabbed her phone.

  “Hey, Dad. How’re you doing?”

  “I’m fine. Going to meetings and…well…you know. It’s good to hear your voice, honey.”

  “It’s good to hear yours, too. Jennifer’s dinner party went well, but we missed you. Do you think maybe you’d like to come to my place one day for a quiet dinner?”

  “I’d like that. I’m working nights now, so you plan a day and time and let me know.”

  “Sounds good. I wanted to ask you something.”

  “Go ahead. You know you can ask me anything.”

  “Has it gotten easier? I mean…more comfortable, maybe?”

  “Oh, honey. I’m so sorry. If I’d have known how this would’ve turned out, I never would have agreed to testify. I never intended to ruin your lives.”

  Her gut clenched at the sound of her father’s sobs.

  That answers that. “Dad. It’s all right. You did the right thing by turning in those drug dealers. You probably saved many young lives from being destroyed. Neither Jennifer nor I blame you for anything.” Her tension eased when she heard him sigh. She saw no reason to express her anger and resentment. His remorse was genuine.

  “Thank you, dear. You two take care of each other. And make sure you stay in touch with Joe.”

  Alex heaved a sigh when her father disconnected the call. She believed he had done the right thing by testifying, and although she worried about his potential return to drug use, she had to trust he was going to NA meetings and taking care of himself. She needed to figure out what she was going to do about Debby and how to maintain a friendship based on untruths. As long as she stayed with uncomplicated details like favorite foods and opinions on current events, she should be okay. Friends shared those things without getting into details about their past all the time. She lay down on the couch and closed her eyes, hoping to dream of dancing with Debby.

  Chapter Eleven

  “Kristen and Jaylin offered to drive. Would that be okay with you?” Debby shifted her phone to her other ear as she pulled on her slacks. She’d ended up having to go in to work for the morning to oversee the distribution of IV antibiotics for a new resident. She had gotten home just in time to feed Buddy and Shadow and get ready for the wedding.

  “Absolutely. It’ll be nice to get to know them better.”

  “I’ll pick you up at three o’clock, then, and we’ll head over to their place.”

  “Sounds good. I’ll see you later.”

  Debby disconnected the call and pulled out her ironing board. She and Alex had texted several times throughout the week, and Alex had apologized profusely for her abrupt retreat from the fairgrounds. She had said something vague about her father being in town and that she had forgotten her promise to take him to Jennifer’s. How could she forget about her dad? And where did her father live? She had more questions than answers about Alex, but she planned to amend that soon. She finished dressing, ignoring her growing excitement at seeing Alex.

  *

  “Hi, Debby. I’m almost ready to go. I just needed to take Abby out one more time before we left. Come on in.”

  Debby pushed aside her irritation at the delay. She’d arrived early enough so they wouldn’t be rushed, but punctuality was near the top of her list. She wondered why the lines between friendship and more were so blurred with Alex that she felt the need to relate to her list.

  She followed Alex and Abby into her apartment, indulging herself in the view of her ass in jeans as she moved. Alex was a sexy woman, and she saw no sense ignoring it. She hadn’t paid much attention when she had been there before, but now the sparseness of the apartment stood out. She scanned the living room, noticing few pictures and none that looked like family photos. She sat on the couch to wait for Alex, who had hurried to her bedroom to change clothes. Other than a stack of yoga magazines on the coffee table, she saw no indication of who Alex was. Her musings were interrupted by Alex returning. She glanced at her watch. Three o’clock exactly.

  “Sorry. I couldn’t decide between black or gray slacks. I’m ready now.”

  Debby’s breath caught when she looked up at Alex, and she swallowed to make sure she wasn’t drooling. She had chosen gray slacks with a soft looking, long sleeve, cream colored silk blouse. A thin gold chain suspended from her neck and rested on a spot Debby would have loved to run her tongue over. She tossed on a light gray, tailored blazer a shade lighter than her eyes, and Debby stood to distract herself. “You look great. Let’s go to a wedding.”

  The ride to Kristen’s took less than twenty minutes, and Debby was aware of Alex sitting next to her, watching the road as if memorizing the route.

  “You don’t have to concentrate so hard, you know. I’m not going to test you on it to get you home,” she teased her, hoping to lighten the intensity of Alex’s mood.

  “I’ve never been to this side of Novi,” Alex said.

  “She lives on the outskirts. Her parents built the house when Kristen was a kid. It’s pretty nice.”


  “Whoa. Nice doesn’t do it justice.” Alex looked enthralled as Debby pulled up next to the house. “She must keep her horse here.” Alex pointed to the barn across the yard from the house.

  “Yep, and she has a pony that keeps Zigzag company.” Debby smiled as Alex stepped out of the car and turned in a circle, taking in the property. They reached the porch just as the door opened and a fluffy dog bounded out and sat quivering in excitement. “And this is Jaylin’s dog, Railroad.”

  Alex laughed as Railroad wiggled into her arms.

  “Sorry, you’ll be full of hair in two minutes.” Jaylin called Railroad back inside the house and held open the door. “Come on in.”

  “I’ve got a Lab mix, so I’m not afraid of a little dog hair.”

  Debby waved Alex in ahead of her.

  “Can I offer you anything to drink? Kristen will be out in a minute.” Jaylin pulled a bottle of water out of the refrigerator and handed it to Debby.

  “I’ll take one of those, too,” Alex said. “This is a great house.” She walked to the door wall and gasped at the view.

  “Lovely, isn’t it?” Debby stood next to her and rested her hand on the small of her back, though for the life of her she wouldn’t have been able to say why. Alex didn’t move away. “Want to check out the barn before we leave?”

  “I would, but maybe we could do it on a day we’re not all dressed up for a wedding.”

  “Good point.” Debby moved her hand and turned to Jaylin. “Thanks for offering to drive today.”

  “No problem. It’ll be nice to have company on the ride.” Jaylin shot her a quizzical, amused glance and tilted her head slightly toward Alex.

  Debby shook her head and put some distance between them.

  “Okay. Let’s get out of here.” Kristen appeared, dangling her car keys in front of her.