“Hi, Joe. I’m taking advantage of your offer to call anytime.”
“I’m glad you did. What’s up?”
“I just need to know if you have any more information on Miguel Martinez. I want to know if I should be worried about this guy.”
Joe’s hesitation did nothing to diminish her concern.
“I can tell you that we believe he’s involved with the drugs in the warehouse we found, and that’s probably why he’s in Michigan, but we have no solid evidence that he’s the one doing anything with them yet. The FBI doesn’t want to move in prematurely and risk the kingpin getting away.”
“So, you know it’s this Miguel Martinez who’s involved?”
Joe exhaled noisily before answering. “I’ve only seen pictures of this guy, but yes, it’s a Miguel Martinez who we’re watching. I told you I’d keep you safe, and I will. I’ve no reason to believe that you or Jennifer are in any danger. Your dad didn’t testify specifically against any Martinez family, and he doesn’t appear to be part of the other groups your dad made nervous.”
“There’s more, Joe. I had to go to his house tonight for work. He had a political fundraiser and hired me through the Hyatt to cover his guest list. While I was there, I saw Phil talking to Martinez. They were discussing some kind of shipment, and Martinez seemed upset.”
“A shipment, huh? Thanks for letting me know, kiddo. I don’t want you to ever go to his house again, though. I’m going to the FBI and won’t leave until I get some answers. I will let you all know if something happens.”
“Okay. Thanks, Joe.”
Alex disconnected the call resigned to waiting. She calmed herself with thoughts of Debby and their plans for the cider mill.
Chapter Nineteen
Debby arrived a few minutes early so Alex made them a cup of hot chocolate. “Do you think Leslie, the mushroom woman, will be there today?” Alex blew on the hot liquid in her cup and grinned.
“I don’t know. She posted that other Meetup for next week, to spend the day mushroom foraging, so maybe not.”
“Well, I’m looking forward to this. I haven’t been to a cider mill in years.”
“I went to the same one we’re going to with Kristen and Jaylin last year, and it was packed. Have you been to this one before?” Debby took a drink from her cup and cradled it with both hands.
“No, not this one.” Alex hoped Debby didn’t press for more information.
“We should probably get going. It may take us a while to find a parking spot.” Debby picked up Alex’s cup and carried them both to the kitchen. Such a normal thing for couples to share. She shook off the fruitless pondering.
Alex pulled her down vest out of the closet and had one arm through when she felt Debby behind her, helping her snake in her other arm. She rested her hands on her shoulders, and Alex reflexively leaned back into her arms. She stood still for a heartbeat, wrapped in Debby’s embrace, allowing herself a moment’s respite from her fears and uncertainties before stepping away and turning to the door. “Thanks.” She meant a whole lot more than just appreciation for help with her vest.
“My pleasure. Let’s go drink cider and eat donuts.” Debby held the door as Alex stepped through.
Nat and Joy from the Meetup group stood at the entrance to the cider mill as they pulled into the parking lot. It took several passes before they found a spot at the far end of the lot. Alex didn’t have to wonder long about how many people were already there. As they turned toward the log building, she saw the crowd surrounding Nat. The scent of ripe apples permeated the air, and her mouth watered at the smell of donuts.
“Wow. I guess we have a good turnout.” Alex turned to Debby and smiled. Debby took her hand and squeezed but didn’t let go. It felt wrong, dangerous, but so right. Would it hurt to believe they could have something special just for today? She was tired of hiding who she was. Tired of fearing for Jen’s safety. Just plain tired. She leaned against Debby, imagining she could feel the heat from her body through the wool sweater covering her arm.
“Hey, you two. Glad you could make it.” Joy waved to them as they approached the group. “We don’t have anything specifically planned for today, but some of us are going to walk the path along the river, and you’re all welcome to join us. First, we’re going to get some cider and donuts, though. Have fun.” The majority of the group followed Nat into the building to stand in line, but Alex tugged Debby toward the river’s edge. Suddenly, the opportunity to get advice from someone who seemed so level-headed, and who actually cared, felt incredibly important. She certainly hadn’t planned on it, but now she couldn’t shake the desire to talk.
“You okay?” Debby asked.
“Yeah. I just wanted you alone for a minute. And I hate standing in lines.”
“I don’t think you’ll be able to avoid lines today.” Debby sat at one of the benches alongside the path and pulled Alex down next to her. “We’re about as alone as we can be among this throng of people. Something wrong?”
“No. I just wanted to ask you something.” Alex took a deep breath and allowed the words to tumble out. “If you knew something bad about someone who was important to someone you cared about, would you tell them the bad thing?”
“I told you how important honesty and openness are to me, so I’d say that I probably would.” Debby tipped her head and sat quietly.
“Even if it was a hurtful bad thing?”
“If it was that bad then I guess I’d figure it would be better for them to find out from me sooner, than from the one doing the bad thing later.” Debby shook her head. “This conversation is pretty weird. Does this have anything to do with your side job at the rich guy’s house?”
“Never mind. It is weird, and that job went fine. I was only there for a couple of hours. Let’s get in line.” Alex gave up struggling to make a decision about Phil. At least for today. And just being able to voice the concern out loud felt a tiny bit freeing. Hopefully, Debby wouldn’t think she was deranged. She put the thoughts aside and decided to pretend, just for today, that her life was normal.
*
Debby removed her jacket and tied the sleeves around her waist. The tiny room in the cider mill was wall-to-wall people. The line Alex had wanted to avoid was out the door, and they were squeezed in the middle of the warm room. Alex stood close enough that over the aroma of apples and sugar she caught the scent of her coconut shampoo. A scent she was growing to like a lot.
“You sure their cider and donuts are worth this wait?” Alex flinched at anybody trying to move past them.
“If I remember correctly, they are. I hope so, anyway.” Debby stepped out of the way of a kid pushing to the front of the line. He grabbed a handful of taffy pieces wrapped in wax paper off the counter, stuffed them into his pockets, and sprinted out the door.
Alex groaned next to her, and she wondered if this was worth it after all. “We can leave if you want. I have some bottled water and a box of protein bars in my car.”
“Sounds like a feast. Let’s go.” Alex took her hand and pulled her out the exit and back into the fresh air.
“You’re right. This is better.” Debby held Alex’s hand as they walked along the river trail, pleased that she didn’t pull away. They passed young couples cuddling and laughing, elderly men and women sitting on the benches, and children pushing the limits of their caretaker’s patience. She pushed away thoughts of her list and the fact that there were only a few conditions left Alex didn’t fulfill, and why she was even keeping track.
They followed the asphalt pathway to the end, where several women from their groups sat at wooden tables, the seats worn smooth from years of use.
“Hello!” Leslie stood and waved as they approached. “Come sit with me. I’ve got a whole gallon of cider and a dozen donuts to share.”
Debby looked at Alex and shrugged. “Looks like we’ll get cider and donuts after all.”
“How are you two? You look great together. Did you see my Meetup notice?” Leslie looked
at her and then turned to Alex and back again. Her voice rose with each question, and Debby wondered if she was drinking hard cider.
“I got your notice yesterday, and I told Alex about it. I hope it goes well for you.” Debby filled two tiny waxed cups with cider and handed one to Alex.
“Cool. I hope you can make it. We’re going to the state park, north of Flint, to look for brick tops, bear’s tooth, and velvet foots. It’s going to be great fun.” Leslie took a bite of a sugar-coated donut, and sprinkles of sugar fell to the table. She swallowed and continued. “You have to be careful with the bear’s tooth. If they’re yellow, you mustn’t eat them, but they’re delicious when you find them at just the right time.” She took another bite of donut and washed it down with cider.
“We should probably start back.” Debby finished her miniscule cup of cider and stood.
Alex emptied her cup like a shot glass and rose from her seat. “We should. We’ll see you at the next Meetup, Leslie. Thanks for the cider and donut.”
Debby tugged Alex’s arm as she rushed away before Leslie gathered up steam to continue.
“Sorry, but I just couldn’t listen to another lecture on fungus.”
“That’s okay with me. I need to get home and take Abby out anyway.”
“It’s been a fun event, though, don’t you think?”
“It was. The walk along the river was my favorite part. It was good cider, though.”
“Do you still want to go to dinner?” Debby wondered if Alex’s weird “bad thing” question meant something was wrong.
“Would it be all right if we made it another day?”
“Sure. Is everything okay? I’m still a bit weirded out about your earlier question. Did something else happen at your side job?”
“No. I’m a little tired. It ended up being a later night than I’d planned.” Alex rolled her shoulders.
Debby stopped herself from pulling her into her arms and kissing away the sadness on her lips. “The line’s gone now. Let’s get a bag of apples before we leave. I actually like making homemade applesauce.”
*
The ride home was quiet as Debby wrestled with her emotions. She had resolved that she would never allow herself to be deceived again after Evelyn, and here she was falling for a woman who had “things in my life that I can’t talk about.” She knew enough about Alex to believe whatever she couldn’t talk about wasn’t illegal or immoral, but it stung to think she didn’t trust her enough with it. And that odd question about someone doing bad things puzzled her. She pulled into Alex’s parking lot determined to say good-bye and go home.
“Would you like to go for a walk with me and Abby?” Alex had turned to lean her back against the passenger door, and the late afternoon light highlighted her beautiful face.
“Sure.” It’s only a walk.
She followed Alex into her apartment and waited while she hooked on Abby’s leash. She stood by the door, grappling with her desire to enter or leave. She knew she wanted to stay and take Alex in her arms. Then what? There was nowhere for them to go. Alex had her secrets, and she had her list to protect her heart. She should go.
“The park isn’t too far. Is that okay with you?” Alex looked pensive.
“That’s fine. I like that park.” It’s only a walk.
They were well along the darkening wooded path before Alex spoke. “Thanks for coming with me. I’m feeling a little unsettled.”
“Anything I can do to help?” Will you trust me?
Alex was silent for so long Debby figured she wouldn’t answer.
“I don’t think you can help me, but I appreciate your friendship. Just your presence helps settle me. I just have stuff I have to work out alone.”
“Well, I hope you do work it all out. I’d be happy to help if you let me, but I don’t want to be where I’m not wanted. I won’t push.” Any expectation she had that Alex would open up to her vanished like the setting sun. “We ought to head back. It’s getting dark.”
Debby stood in the foyer while Alex unlocked her door. She willed Alex to say more. To show her she wanted to be known as much as she wanted to know her. When it was obvious Alex wasn’t going to say anything more, she left without going back inside.
*
Alex could feel Debby withdrawing and had no idea what to do about it. How could she make and keep a friend when she was unable to honestly share who she was? When she feared being asked about her life? How long could a one-sided friendship last? Debby was willing to be her friend, but she deserved the respect of truthfulness. When she had entered the protection program, she’d been given a new identity, and there was no reason she couldn’t come up with a past life to go along with it. She’d never be able to return to her previous life anyway, so why waste energy and potential friendship by worrying so much about concealing it? Debby knew Jennifer and her father, and she didn’t need to tell her anything about Florida or her previous job. She would show her who she was as a person and a friend. She would find a way to really become the person she was now, rather than the one she used to be.
If Alex was being truthful with herself, she had to admit she wanted more than friendship with Debby. She wanted to hold her hand and cuddle on the couch. She wanted to kiss her until her smoldering desire ignited and burned away all her fears. She wanted to reveal herself and see who they could be together. She wanted all of her, but couldn’t offer the same.
“What am I going to do, Abby?” Alex dropped onto her couch and allowed the tears to fall. Her mind was a whirlwind of questions without answers. She couldn’t tell Jennifer about Phil without hurting her. She might not believe her anyway, and what if she was wrong? What if he was an undercover agent or something? She had to wait for Joe to confirm her suspicions about Miguel Martinez, and she couldn’t tell Debby about any of it. She hadn’t felt so alone since her first day in Michigan as Alexandra Reed.
Chapter Twenty
Debby sorted pills and thought of Alex. She hadn’t been able to get her out of her mind despite throwing herself into her work and studies. She felt close to finishing her preparations for the geriatric pharmacy certification exam and set a reminder notice on her phone for the registration deadline.
She ate lunch and pictured Alex. She longed to turn the anxiety she saw in her eyes into happiness. She didn’t know how to reassure her that everything would be all right when she had no idea what caused it.
“Anybody home?” Kelly stepped into the pharmacy and held up her lunch bag. “May I join you?”
“Of course.” Debby set her sandwich on the counter and waited for Kelly to settle in the chair next to her.
“Did Jan let you know about the Halloween party?”
“No.” Debby took a bite of her sandwich and a sip of water. She had always thought of the holiday as a silly event meant for children.
“We have it every year for the residents. The lucid ones seem to love it.” Kelly opened her plastic container of macaroni and cheese and swallowed a forkful.
“Huh.” Debby couldn’t come up with a reason to care about the event.
“Don’t get so excited. It’s for the benefit of the residents. Many don’t have any family or visitors, so anything like a party is a big deal to them.”
Debby chuckled. “I’ve never cared about Halloween, but I understand what you’re saying, and I hope they have fun.” She finished her water in two swallows and rolled the empty bottle between her hands. She thought of the cold, and often rainy, Halloween nights she and her brother had spent traipsing from house to house in silly costumes for pieces of candy that her parents had to pick through to assure they were safe to eat. She’d had friends and classmates who loved the disguises and skipped down the sidewalks pretending to be ghosts and goblins. Maybe the party reminded these older folks of their youth, too. If it brought some joy into their lives, she could live with it.
“You okay?” Kelly asked.
“I’m fine. I was just reminded of my not so fun times with Halloween.”
“Ah. Well, these people are restricted in so many ways that a little letting loose is a welcome distraction. Anything else going on behind those beautiful brown eyes?”
“I’m studying for the geriatric exam and…well…I’m not sure if I’m coming or going with Alex.” She tossed the empty bottle into the wastebasket.
“Are you thinking you’d like more than friendship with her?”
More. Everything. “I’m not sure if I can. There’s too much she isn’t saying.”
“How much do you need to know? You said you two were comfortable with each other, and did I mention how hot she is?” Kelly grinned and took a drink of water.
“Yeah. She’s hot, but she’s so much more. She’s mature, sensitive, self-sufficient, gentle, and strong.” Debby retrieved another bottle of water from her cooler and sighed.
“It sounds to me like you know the important things about her. Sometimes our hearts recognize rightness before our brains. Don’t let your brain’s quest for perfection get in the way of your heart’s desire. You deserve to have love in your life. Remember, Alex is not Evelyn.”
Debby blew out a breath. “No. She isn’t. But secrets are secrets, no matter who is keeping them.”
Kelly tossed her paper lunch bag into the trash and gave Debby’s arm a squeeze before rushing out the door to answer a resident’s alarm buzzer.
She went back to work, pushing aside any more thoughts of what she didn’t know about Alex Reed. The things she knew were wonderful. The things she didn’t were the ones that could break her heart.
*
“Again? I thought his request was only for the one fundraiser.” Alex ran her hand through her hair in frustration.
“I guess this is a party for his wife’s birthday. You’ll be paid overtime again, and you said it went all right the last time.” Betty stopped scrolling through emails on her laptop and turned it so Alex could read the screen.
Imperfect Truth Page 13
