The Nightling: Darkness Within

by Danae Ayusso

  Giovanni looked at me curiously. “You thought the same when Dad was killed,” he reminded me. “Why are you questioning your faith now? Has the Goddess not provided you with more than enough evidence that you are in her good graces?” he pressed. “I’m sitting here next to you, have been crashing your first date all night, we’ve been able to hangout unlike any other sister and dead brother combo in history, and the Goddess listens to you. You asked her to save Tybalt when you first met him and she did without question. You asked her to allow him to see me on your date, which was super annoying since I was entertaining myself with him without his knowledge, but whatever. The Goddess answered without delay. If that isn’t having her blessing I don’t know what is, Sis.”

  As usual my brother makes many inarguable points, even though I could argue each with him, in the end he’d win and we both knew it.

  “I asked her to save Papà,” I whispered. “And she didn’t. Instead she cast his soul to the shadows where I could never be able to see him again, not even in dreams.”

  Giovanni’s eyes widened.

  “I asked her to save you, I offered my soul for yours, but again I was denied,” I informed him, frantically wiping away the tears staining my cheeks. “Every time I ask for something selfish in nature, the Goddess has responded in the most heartbreaking way possible, and I hate her for it. I’m supposed to be more, special and different, and yet only when it’s convenient for the Goddess does she hear me. I don’t want to be her Herald, Vanni. I don’t want to be her chosen vessel of Light. I don’t want to be the hope for those without it. I just want to be me.”

  His face dropped. “There is nothing wrong with being you or being her Herald or the hope for Light, Shawny. Sometimes in order for the light to illuminate the darkness you have to subject it to Hell to make sure they are strong enough to survive it.”

  Yeah, that’s what Madre used to tell me when I asked her why mio papà was dead, why my grandmothers, great-grandmother, and eventually my brother were all dead.

  “Why am I different?” I rhetorically asked, caressing my fingers along the body of a pure white koi that came to the surface of the water. “Born to those of the Shadow Generation or those of the highest and most elevated generations of light, it shouldn’t matter. There has to be a reason, something more,” I sniveled, using the sleeve of the borrowed hoodie to wipe my eyes. “Everyone I meet in this new world, they all look at me as if I’m either an abomination that shouldn’t be breathing or as if I’m their savior. Why? I don’t want to be either.”

  He chuckled. “No one ever does. From what I understand, that dude Jesús didn’t want to be known as the Messiah or whatever either, and just wanted to do his own thing, but Man took it and ran with it, making him some god or something. For a Necromancer having a bad day, the dude really got elevated to levels that even the diva Queen snoring in the basement wouldn’t be bold enough to attempt to pull off.”

  True.

  “Do you think this was meant to be?” I asked at length. “That there was something more for me, for us, then just simple life in Usk, Washington?”

  Giovanni made a face. “Stupid question, Shawny. Of course we were meant for more. Look at us! Minus the vampire thing and me being dead and a horny ghost thing, we’re awesome. This crazy adventure that is your rebirth into immorality is better than either of us could have ever expected it to be! I’m okay. A bit butt hurt that I can’t touch anyone, but I’m okay hanging around now. Try to keep the faith, Sis, because the Goddess has so much more planned for you, for us. Just have patience and start asking some goddamn questions! Seriously?!”

  Yeah, that wasn’t the smartest thing in the world to continue to let happen, but tomorrow I’d work on it.

  “Tomorrow I’ll start asking,” I promised.

  “You better,” he warned.

  A beam of light cut through the thick vegetation and painted a portion of the pond in white light, and the fish flocked towards it to warm themselves. I reached out to caress it and the vegetation moved, blocking out the light.

  I huffed in frustration.

  “What?” my brother asked.

  “I wanted to feel the sun again,” I whispered. “I miss it. The warmth of its radiant touch, the way it makes me look neon white compared to everyone else in my family,” I said the latter with a mocking face.

  The large leaves that had moved on their own pulled away and allowed the beam of light to reach the water.

  “The Goddess listens, even in dreams,” Giovanni reminded me in a whispered.

  I caressed the light with my fingers, smiling at the way it made my skin turn transparently white compared to my dark skin Italian brother next to me.

  “I’ll miss doing this,” I whispered.

  “Me too,” Giovanni said, holding his hand up next to mine. “Damn you’re white.”

  “Shut up,” I whined. “At least I can now blame my Italian albinism on being a vampire, right?”

  He laughed. “Sure, use that as an excuse. We still don’t know if you sparkle in the sun or not,” he pointed out.

  That was true.

  “How do we find out?” I asked. “Is unconscious sun exposure not proof if sparkling is involved or not?”

  Giovanni rolled his eyes. “Obviously not. If what everyone is saying is true, the sun doesn’t react well with vampires and it’ll kill them. Why do you think Tybalt and the others made sure Cross’ home karaoke club was completely impervious, unnaturally impervious, to the sun before you passed out? Or that Tybalt went to such extreme measures to check the stage lighting to make sure it wasn’t affecting you? They wanted to make sure your first date wasn’t your last and you didn’t accidently barbeque yourself. Hello, blonde moment much?!”

  “Whatever, you were enjoying the show because of all the skin you caught glimpses of while they rose their arms and waved them in the air casting their spells.”

  Content he sighed. “The abs on all of them made my mouth go dry. I wanted to lick and caress my fingers up and down the cut channels in each… Damn, getting wood with my baby sister sitting here. Sorry.”

  I laughed. “Ew.”

  “You can only blame yourself this time,” Giovanni pointed out, adjusting himself. “You have amazing taste in man friends. Even the Necrowolf had a decent set of abs on him, and the thin coat of blond hair made me want to scrunch my fingers in it.”

  Why I bother, I don’t know.

  “That albino stag was even cut up, but I only saw that because of the lap dance he tried to give me. Surprising rhythm and lean, cut muscle made me completely forget about his antlers. Cross seriously has to wax his chest and abs, because I’ve never seen an Italian that smooth before,” he continued, well aware he was grossing me out. “And Samael, damn. Thick, obsidian muscle that was heavy and just screamed ‘To crush your enemies, to see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women’”, he said in the worst Conan the Barbarian impression I’ve ever heard, and it made me roar with laughter, falling over.

  Apparently all it took to get the sticks out of the guards’ asses was a few shots of Everclear and some Right Said Fred. After that, it was lap dances and teasing partial stripteases by everyone but me and Tybalt, questionable dancing, then Lydia busted out with a couple of stripper poles, and that’s when the night really got started.

  I was laughing so hard I was crying.

  “Yes, Samael truly enjoyed the lap dance you tried to give him,” I agreed.

  “Oh, he did. He was sporting wood, pitching a tent that circus midgets could seriously walk under,” Giovanni informed me. “It was impressive.”

  “Again, ew,” I complained.

  “Tybalt has a lovely trail of dark hair leading to the promise land,” he reminded me before wagging his brows and I blushed. “I didn’t get to see Tybalt full nude or without a shirt because he is stubbornly reserved, but what I saw I liked. Alder has a little blond happy trail, but a smooth chest and cute little white boy ass, but the man
has no rhythm or musical ability. He even struggled with the timing to Tequila. How do you mess that up?!” he rhetorical asked.

  I shrugged, I wasn’t sure but Alder missed the timing for the only song he’d sing, a song that literally had one word in it.

  “How did you see Alder’s happy trail?” I asked, suspicious. “He wasn’t showing skin regardless of how hard Cross and you tried to get him naked.”

  Giovanni smiled wide.

  “Seriously?” I groaned, splashing some water at him but it passed through him.

  Wait. That shouldn’t have passed through him.

  “What?” he asked innocently. “When he went to change before seeing his ex, I followed and he gave me a little strip tease without the music or rhythm before he got dressed. He has a cute little white boy ass and lean muscle, and surprisingly endowed for a white guy… I like him. I like that annoying ex of his, too, though.”

  My eyes widened; and once again Giovanni effectively distracts me.

  “What?” I asked, dumbfounded.

  “Alder would be the perfect white meat to have between two hot slices of Italian,” he said with a sigh.

  And I’m done.

  “How can you like one guy but like his ex as well?” I asked the obvious.

  Of course his amazingly insightful answer was a shrug.

  “Humans are one of the few species on the planet that practice heterosexuality and monogamy,” he reminded me when I refused to accept his shrug as an answer. “And, I hate pointing out the obvious, Sis, and I really don’t want to talk about your future sex life, but when you have possibly infinite days ahead of you, why would you limit yourself to merely one person? Everyone is capable of loving more than just one person, and sometimes we find ourselves loving two or three at once. Why limit yourself, heart, body, and bed to just one of them when it’ll break your heart and the heart of the other?” he rhetorically asked with a small smile.

  I was not entirely sure what to say about that, or where it was coming from for that matter.

  “Are you stoned?” I asked the obvious.

  Giovanni chuckled. “No. I just realized something last night is all. Demons are neither male nor female, they are both and yet neither. It’s hard to explain, but Bianca was trying her damnedest to while enjoying my company and a bottle of wine. The tent her brother pitched, she could have as well if she were leaning towards that gender specific spectrum. They can choose their gender, giving a whole new meaning to the term ‘gender fluidity’. Bianca played the role of male for so long because it was expected in the world of man. Other daemonic creatures like Succubus are expected to be female, but again they can be either or both or neither. It’s whatever they want to be. Which, I have to say, is awesome. Could you imagine what would happen if the white people religions of man followed the gender roles and acceptance of the demons?! You’d have much happier people and less suicide by young people.”

  The stuff my brother learns while I’m gorging myself on food is surprising, and it makes me wonder why I didn’t ask or pay attention to the lesson Bianca was giving my brother when I was the one that wanted the lesson?!

  I’m the worse vampire ever.

  “Fine, I concede that it is possible to love more than one person, to share your heart and bed with more than one person without feeling like a lady of the night,” I said the latter ominously for his amusement and he chuckled. “I’ll continue to question what it is you see in Cross because he can truly be an insufferable turd. And I don’t have a problem watching you flirt and flaunt your body is okay. But flaunting what you are so very proud of in your pants?! I just can’t. Baby steps for your baby sister, okay?” I pleaded.

  Giovanni chuckled. “Sorry, Sis. It’s been like never since we could talk about boys. Now that you have a hot Greek, hot asshole Russian, and whatever else is pining for you, as Dad would say, we can finally talk about boys! Do you have any idea how long I’ve waited for this moment?!”

  “Twenty-three years?” I offered.

  “Funny,” he complained. “I get it, I’ll try to keep my raging ghost hormones and boner under control until one of us starts getting laid, then we’ll live vicariously through the other,” he promised.

  That wasn’t something I was agreeing to do or was looking forward to.

  “Why I bother with you, I’ll never know,” I said with a sigh.

  “Because you love me and think I’m awesome,” Giovanni teasingly sang.

  Yes and no.

  I leaned over the water more and looked at my reflection; it was the first time I had seen it since this adventure started. There really was no noticeable difference between boring human Shawn and weird, socially awkward vampire Shawn. My eyes looked the same—not red or mirror-like—and there were a few more strands of white in my skunk stripe in the front, but nothing anyone other than me and Giovanni would have noticed.

  I’ll admit, I was a bit disappointed that there really wasn’t any kind of difference in my appearance. From what little I knew from television and movies, becoming one of the living undead was supposed to make you prettier or more attractive in order to lure men to them to eat or suck on or whatever.

  Instead, I was still, boring, plain old Shawn.

  “I expected more,” I huffed, pulling the comb Tybalt got me out and tried to smooth my hair down with my fingers before pulling my skunk stripe back and secured it back with the comb.

  “Can’t improve perfection, Sis,” Giovanni informed me.

  “So says the should-be Italian male model,” I grumbled with a pout. “Wait, do you smell that?” I asked, sniffing.

  There was a peculiar scent dancing on the air, but it wasn’t there before. It was a floral aroma that had a damp, mossy woodsy note to it wrapped in herbs. I’ve smelled it before, but not in some time.

  I got to my feet and sniffed, following the smell.

  “Where are you going?” Giovanni asked, following me.

  “That scent shouldn’t be here, especially in a home of wolves…” my words trailed off when I found the source.

  Sprawled out on the ground, knocked over bistro table and chair next to him, tea swirling on the marble floor under him, and delicate teacup broken in two, was the source of the smell.

  Maximus Lykourgos.

  “This is a dream, isn’t it?” I asked, reaching for Giovanni.

  If I could touch him, it was a dream.

  My hand passed through him, causing our eyes to widen.

  “Shawny, the sun!” Giovanni cried out before exploding in a puff of smoke.

  That wasn’t normal.

  “Polpetto!” I cried out, reaching for him, but he was already gone. “No, no, no!”

  Appearing on the other side of Maximus was the Jeoseung Saja from the club.

  “Where is my brother?!” I demanded.

  His head tilted to the side to regard me. “I do not know. If I were to venture a guess, you were straddling between the realm of shadows and dreams, and that is why you are here now, because you woke up… You are here now,” his words trialed off.

  Okay, I was sleepwalking but was conscious enough to hang out with my brother, but that would mean…

  Oh no. Tybalt!

  “You can’t have him,” I said, hurrying across the arboretum, passing through beams of sunlight that was broke through the foliage in the process, expecting the worst, but there was no burning. I knelt next to Maximus and checked for a pulse.

  It was weak.

  The insides of his lips were blue, pupils were pinpricks, skin was pale, and his breathing was practically non-existent.

  I sniffed, following the scent to his parted lips.

  “Monkshood,” I whispered. “That isn’t right. No wolf would ingest that intentionally. It’s poison!”

  The Jeoseung Saja look at me curiously, his head tilting the other direction, the book in his hand closing.

  “You can’t take him,” I said, rolling Maximus to his side before slipping out of the borrowed hoodie I was
wearing and used it to prop his head up. “Help!” I yelled. “Someone, help!”

  “It is not your place to say who I can or cannot take when their time comes,” the Jeoseung Saja said in a soft voice.

  “Someone help!” I cried out.

  “You should not be here, it is not possible,” the Jeoseung Saja said. “It is morning.”

  I glared at him, crawling on my hands and knees over to one of the plants off to the left and searched through them for what I’d need.

  There wasn’t anything around that would work.

  The cracking of stone pulled my attention to the granite woman that was sitting in the fountain, her head moved and her arm pulled free from the restrictive hold of the vines wrapping around her, and she pointed to an out of place stone in the floor.

  I smiled wide. ‘Thank you,’ I mouthed, crawling over to where she was pointing; it was a disguised access panel for the fountain that was virtually impossible to differentiate from the rest of the stone floor. And of course my lack of superhuman vampire strength meant I couldn’t get the stupid thing to pull free.

  “Oh come on! A little help here?” I complained, looking to the man watching me.

  The Jeoseung Saja gave me a look; no, he would not help me interfere with his job.

  “Goddess, please don’t let Maximus die. Help me,” I pleaded. “I’m sorry I doubted you and my purpose and reason for my existence. You know moments of doubt shadow my heart because everyone I have ever loved has been taken from me. I don’t blame you for that, I swear it, but I can’t handle losing another right now. Please.”

  And once again, the Goddess answered without delay.

  The stone ground shook before it broke apart, causing the cover to snap in two and jut upward so I could pull effortlessly pull it away…

  They might be a little mad that I ruined the floor to their arboretum, but hopefully making my best effort to save their Alpha will help them look past the thousands of dollars in damage I was doing to their home.