The Innocence Series: Complete Bundle

by Riley Knight

  It could be about Sammy. It was a bit late at night, but that could mean that there was some sort of emergency, and it was that that made up Isaac’s mind. He pressed the flashing part of the screen which accepted the call and then unplugged it and raised it so he could speak into it.

  “Hello?” Should he have said something about it being Ben’s phone? He frowned, but it was too late now.

  “Ben? Have you guys not left yet?” a voice that was somehow familiar came through the receiver, and Isaac felt his eyebrows furrow in confusion. Had which guys not left for where? Ben was supposed to be at work.

  “Who is this?” Isaac asked, and there was a brief pause on the other end of the line before a response came.

  “This is Tom. Who is this?”

  Tom. Ben’s boss, the very nice man who seemed to be in the bar working whenever Ben wasn’t. Isaac remembered him vividly, and he instantly relaxed a little bit.

  Not that he’d really thought that Ben would be with someone else, but then again, it wasn’t like they’d ever talked about whether they would do that or not. Isaac didn’t even know how serious this was, or, more accurately, he didn’t know how serious it was to Ben.

  “This is Isaac. Ben just left a little late for work, but he should be there any moment,” Isaac informed him. His mind whirled, though a bit more slowly now. Ben’s boss was just calling to find out why he was late, though that didn’t explain the comment about you guys having left yet.

  “Good. Aren’t you coming?” Tom’s voice was light and playful, but there seemed to be an undertone of solemnity that Isaac didn’t quite understand. Like Tom was playing it off as a joke but it really wasn’t.

  It didn’t make any sense to Isaac, and he frowned a little bit deeper as he tried to figure the words out. No matter how he poked at it, it didn’t really make any sense. It wasn’t like he had spent a lot of time at the bar. He’d been there twice in his life, and only met Tom once, so why would Tom think that?

  “I wasn’t planning on it,” Isaac replied, and a laugh came from the other end of the line, a laugh that seemed somehow forced, just a little sardonic, and very stressed out.

  “Too good to work for me, hmm?” Tom commented, with a slight edge to his voice that made Isaac’s spine prickle uncomfortably. “Ben said you needed a job, but I guess you’re probably fighting off offers.”

  None of that made even the slightest bit of sense. Isaac hissed in a breath, then let it out slowly, as he tried to understand what all that was about, why Tom was saying the things he was and why he seemed so angry.

  “What? No. I’m not too good to work for you,” he protested, but Tom cut him off.

  “Yeah, whatever. I’m not sure why you’re turning down the job I offered you, then.”

  Isaac had to close his eyes, to focus on drawing air in and out of his lungs. In and out, calm, soothing. A few seconds later, he found that he could respond again.

  “You didn’t offer me a job,” he protested. He would remember that. He’d never been offered a job before, and he was sure that it would tend to stick out in his mind more than a little if he were.

  “I told Ben to tell you. You have a job if you want it.” Tom sounded just a bit cautious now like he had realized that something was not quite right with all of this. “I mean, I know it’s not much, just waiting tables, but I think you’d be good at it. People like you.”

  Well, that was news to Isaac. All of it. Every single word out of Tom’s mouth. For a moment, Isaac found himself completely unable to speak. The words he could have said froze in his throat, but finally, he managed a few.

  “You offered me a job?”

  His voice must have sounded as strained to Tom as it did to himself because when Tom spoke again, his own tone of voice was much less pointed and kinder.

  “Yeah, I did. Anytime you want it.” There was a pause, this time on Tom’s end before he continued on. “I’m sure Ben just forgot to mention it …”

  “Of course,” Isaac managed, and then, with a few more words, the conversation was over, and he wasn’t even sure how it had happened. He hoped that he hadn’t said anything too rude, but he couldn’t be sure.

  Ben had lied to him.

  Well, through omission, anyway, because there was no way that Isaac was going to believe that Ben would just forget to tell him something like that. They’d been together all day, too, so that wasn’t an excuse. And Isaac really, really could have used some good news today.

  Ben knew how much Isaac had wanted a job. How much he’d wanted a way to pay his own way, to take care of himself. And he’d taken that chance from him. Why? Did Ben just not want to work with him? Was this just because Ben wanted to keep his working life private from Isaac?

  Whatever the case was, he had to deal with the fact that Ben had hidden this from him. Thinking back, Isaac had to think that Ben really did know, too, and that he felt a bit guilty about it. Ben had been acted so oddly, so quiet and almost stilted, which was very unlike him.

  Isaac had remarked on it in his own mind, but he’d been so distracted by Amanda and her mother. Which only made it worse, because he really could have used something cheerful, some good news to pull him out of it.

  Belatedly, Isaac plugged his phone in and then fell back into the bed, which welcomed him with the warm embrace of Ben’s spicy, musky, deeply masculine scent.

  His mind, for the moment, was blissfully blank, and he sank into a deep sleep which let him escape from all of it. Just for now, of course. It would come back, once he was awake. It always did.

  For the moment, though, it was just so good not to have to worry about any of it. To let himself bask, float, in his lover’s scent, and not think about the lie which his lover had told him.

  Not think about anything. That was the trick. That was what would keep him going until Ben got home and they could have this out. It wasn’t a confrontation that Isaac was looking forward to, not at all, but it was one that he knew very well needed to happen.

  TWENTY-FIVE

  For some reason, Tom was giving him a strange look. The man never said anything at all, but he stuck around the bar doing things that didn’t really need to be done like he was waiting for something to happen.

  What didn’t happen, though, was Tom asking him about Isaac. He knew that his boss was eager to get more people on board. The bar was getting more and more popular as people from miles around found out about it, and Ben knew as well as Tom did that they needed someone reliable, someone friendly, someone young and energetic.

  Isaac was all of those things. Ben was being so selfish, and as he started to pour beers and shots and mix drinks, just before he lost himself in the rhythm of his work, he made a decision.

  He didn’t have the right to hold Isaac back like this, and he didn’t have the right to keep Tom from having what Ben knew would be a model employee. Even if Isaac did move out because of it, that didn’t give him the right to do these things. The lapse had been momentary on his part, and the insanity had passed.

  He’d been freaked out to lose Isaac, and he wouldn’t try to lie to himself and say that he still wasn’t, at least a little. He’d found something good, and he wanted to hold onto it, but he could get past that.

  Still, it was definitely weird that Tom didn’t even ask where Isaac was. And the look in his eyes was strange, too, like he was sizing Ben up, but he didn’t say anything about it and Ben, quite frankly, was relieved.

  It was a Thursday night, and the place was hopping. Even the loud music could barely be heard over the roar of masculine voices, flirting, chatting, having finally found a safe place to do so.

  It was easy to lose himself in the work. To enjoy the atmosphere, and not to think about anything else. He was going to fix it all, anyway, the moment he could speak to Isaac again, so there was no sense in stressing out about it. Isaac would never have to know that Ben had held this from him, and he and Tom would get the help that they so badly needed.

  Maybe even the thing wi
th Isaac getting his own apartment would work out. Maybe he would want to stay, or, at the very least, stay in the same apartment building. They could spend the night together sometimes, surely. It wouldn’t be ideal, but he could deal with it if it meant he got to keep Isaac.

  “Later, Ben,” Tom finally said, still without even a word about Isaac, and still with that bizarre look on his face, like he was trying to search Ben’s mind.

  There was no time to think about that, though, and Ben let himself work. It didn’t matter how weird Tom was acting because Ben would fix it all soon enough.

  * * *

  It was a bit of a relief when Isaac seemed to be asleep because Ben was exhausted. He’d been run off of his feet that night, trying to tend the bar and keep the rest of the building clean. Luckily, the patrons of the bar had been inclined to be in a good mood, and the snarky comments had been kept to a minimum, but he was more than happy to sink into the soft bed, pull the blankets over his sore, sleepy body, and drift off.

  That was the plan, anyway. Until he glanced over at Isaac’s face, imagining that he would find him dead to the world, his breathing heavy, but not quite snoring, and deeply endearing. When he glanced over, he saw that Isaac was staring at him, his eyes wide open, his full lips tensed as Isaac scanned his face.

  “Oh, geez, I didn’t know you were awake,” Ben told him, and then lay his head down on the pillow, his heart pounding in his chest. He hadn’t thought that he would have to do this until tomorrow morning, but now that Isaac was awake he supposed he would have to. Or should he wait, let them both get some sleep since Isaac seemed to have been at least partially waiting up for him?

  “Ben, why didn’t you tell me?” Isaac asked, and Ben’s conscience was troubled enough that his immediate thought was that Isaac must have found out. But how could he have? Isaac hadn’t been in the bar, and unless Tom had come here to talk to Isaac for some reason … but the guy had been way too tired, and Ben didn’t think that likely.

  “Tell you what?” Ben blurted and then winced a little bit. These habits he had were protective, he did them just to keep himself from getting too close to people, but for the first time, he didn’t want to use them.

  For the very first time, he realized, he wanted to be with someone that he wouldn’t have to hide from. This was a big deal for him, and it was slightly terrifying, but as he studied Isaac’s face, he also knew it was true.

  “I had a job, and you didn’t even tell me about it. Why?”

  Once, Ben had fallen from a piece of playground equipment at school, and he’d slipped and fallen, right on his back. He had been fine, but the air had been knocked completely out of him and for what felt like five minutes he had struggled to breathe again, terrified, sure that he would never draw breath again.

  That same feeling, the complete lack of air in his body, and the terror, it was there all over again. Ben struggled, and while he tried to find himself, Isaac kept on speaking.

  “Is it because you don’t want me at work with you? Are you trying to get away from me?”

  Ben shook his head. No, that was the completely wrong idea, but was Ben going to be brave enough to tell Isaac the actual truth of the matter? He felt frozen, right down to his bones, unable to do anything more than just think, his useless thoughts chasing each other in restless circles, going nowhere, accomplishing nothing.

  “No,” he finally croaked out, but the look Isaac shot him was not particularly encouraging. It didn’t seem like Isaac really believed him, which, to be honest, was probably fair enough.

  “Ben, I’m taking that job, if Tom will still give it to me,” Isaac informed him, and Ben had never seen a look of pure determination on that face before. It made him even more impossibly lovely, firing up those eyes and making them almost seem to glow.

  “Okay,” Ben said, because what else could he say? Isaac had clearly made up his mind, and it honestly wasn’t even like Ben had had a problem with Isaac working at the bar with him. Not at all. Maybe it would be trouble later, but right now, he wanted to be with him all the time.

  “And as soon as I get paid, I’m moving out,” Isaac continued, and then, as Ben struggled with the feeling of being rather abruptly punched in the stomach like that, or so it felt, Isaac slid out of bed. He was naked and so very beautiful, and more than anything in that moment Ben wanted to touch him.

  Probably because he’d lost him, and he knew that he couldn’t have him anymore.

  Without any further comment, Isaac left the room, grabbing a spare blanket as he went. Going to sleep on the couch, no doubt, because he was unable to handle being around Ben anymore.

  Just like everyone else. Ben didn’t really have friends, not close ones, because he had always known that if he did, he would drive them away. Well, it turned out that he’d definitely been right about that.

  Aching all over, right down into the very pit of his being, Ben closed his eyes and tried to sleep. Tried to tell himself that it was probably better this way, for him to drive Isaac away before either of them got attached.

  Only, as he lay there, eyes wide open, sleep the furthest thing from his sore body and troubled mind, just staring up at the blank white expanse of the ceiling, he had to admit to himself that it was probably too late.

  His eyes burned and stung, probably some dust drifting down from the ceiling, he figured. Ben closed his eyes against the sensation and focused simply on breathing in, breathing out.

  Not on the ache that Isaac’s missing body had inflicted on Ben’s soul. Not the way the bed seemed to be empty, only cradling Ben’s body. If he reached over, he knew he would find nothing but cool sheets.

  He didn’t reach over, and he kept his eyes firmly closed over his emotions, and eventually, he did drift off into a light, thin, troubled sleep which was nevertheless better than being awake.

  TWENTY-SIX

  Anger was not the sort of thing that Isaac had ever been encouraged to feel. Anger was, in fact, terrifying, something that Isaac had always shied away from, but there could be no doubt that he’d gotten angry when Ben had told him about his father, and when he’d seen the effect that his father had had on the poor girl who was carrying his child.

  And now, he was angry at Ben. Furious at him, because whatever had been going on, it really seemed like Ben had been trying to manage his life every bit as much as Isaac’s parents had. Only they could at least be honest about it.

  A lot of things changed in a very short time, but the anger didn’t really fade. Sylvia called Ben while Isaac was in the room, so he could listen to Ben’s side of a conversation. He listened as Ben decided not to go see his mother’s trial, and he wondered if that decision would haunt Ben for the rest of his life.

  And then there was Sammy, who was dropped off with a defensive smirk on his face, one so similar to Ben’s that it made Isaac’s heart ache. Sammy, with hope in his eyes, and Isaac had to deal with the fact that he wasn’t going to be in this young man’s life after all.

  There was work, and for the first time in his life, Isaac was working for an actual paycheck. Oh, Tom made him hustle for the money he got, and Isaac fell into the uncomfortable, small couch every night as though it was the finest mattress that money could buy, but at least he was doing it himself.

  Everything was going just fine until he got his first paycheck, or so he told himself. The full, raging force of the fury had subsided a little, but there was still plenty of heat, plenty of anger, left, and it kept him from feeling it too much when he missed Ben.

  Until it didn’t. Until he sat in the little back area of the bar, where customers weren’t allowed and looked down at the plain white envelope in his hands. Inside, he knew, was his check, money he had sweat for, fought for, and avoided groping, drunken hands for.

  Inside was his freedom, the work he did with his own body giving him the chance to move on with his life, not to be dependent on Ben or his parents or anyone.

  However.

  Inside was also something much more ho
rrible. Freedom was a good thing, he told himself, but it was also a terrifying thing. And what would happen to Sammy when Isaac wasn’t home at night anymore? He and Ben had worked out a schedule, where neither of them worked when the other one was so that there was always someone home for the kid. Tom had been good to them, but what would happen to Sammy, to Ben, when Isaac moved to his own place?

  Not to mention, he didn’t even have a bank account. He’d never needed one before. Not to mention, he had no idea how he was going to afford furniture on top of rent, and he had no clue of how to go about getting it without a car, anyway.

  Closing his eyes, Isaac wept softly, letting the tears roll down his cheeks. Was freedom supposed to be such a good thing? Because, to him, it seemed like it came with all sorts of other problems, things that he had never even dreamed of.

  He had met Ben a month ago, he realized, to the day. Exactly one month ago, Isaac had stumbled into this very same bar, soaking wet and scared, and Ben had taken care of him.

  Wiping at his cheeks, Isaac rose to his feet. His shift was over, and his legs trembled with exhaustion as he made his way over the worn floorboards, the sound echoing clearly through a room which was, for once, empty, no loud music playing. He raised a hand of greeting to Tom, not trusting his voice not to shake if he spoke.

  Tom looked at him, and something crossed his delicate-featured face, something like resignation and then focus. No pity, though, which would have repulsed Isaac immediately.

  “Get your ass over here and talk,” Tom told him, his voice firm, brooking no compromise. He patted the bar, which was clean and wiped down already, and Isaac sighed but turned away from the door which he’d been making a beeline for, instead draping himself over a stool.

  “What am I supposed to talk about?” Isaac asked because despite having worked for this man for a couple of weeks now, he really didn’t know Tom all that well. Had Isaac, on top of everything else, done something to piss off his boss? That would really just be the icing on top of the cake if he got himself fired from his first job after less than a month.