The Innocence Series: Complete Bundle

by Riley Knight

  For the moment, they just lay there together. In a second, they would have to get up, get dressed, Gunner knew. They would have to get back to work, and maybe pretend that what had happened between them had never happened.

  Gunner wasn’t sure that he could do that, and as he looked down at Sam, he could swear that he saw that same uncertainty echoed in Sam’s eyes.

  ELEVEN

  Somehow, Sam was able to make himself get dressed and got to work, and with even about a half an hour to spare. They certainly had work to do, with the car that had fallen to pieces. In fact, Sam could forget what had happened, even so recently, between him and Gunner.

  Almost. Sometimes. For seconds at a time, even.

  What would people say? How would they react? Even his own brother would probably make fun of him if he knew because Sam had always been so determined not to be weird about sexuality. Straight had always been safe, but now, even as much as he tried, he couldn’t really think of himself that way anymore.

  Straight? Straight men didn’t tend to fuck other men. At least Sam didn’t think so. And even if they did get experimental and try it out, Sam was pretty sure that they didn’t like it as much as Sam had.

  Being inside of Gunner had been like no other experience that Sam had ever had. He had fooled around with women before, and that had always been pretty okay, but the intensity of being buried inside of Gunner’s body, the heat of it, the passion, the look in those hazel eyes as they almost seemed to glow golden, that had blown every other experience away.

  So here he was, stuck thinking about it. Obsessed with a man who was just going to leave as soon as his bike was done. One of the most important things to Sam was that he be able to think of himself as intelligent, but he had to question himself when it came to Gunner.

  Why had he done it? But Sam knew why, really, if he let himself be completely honest. He had done it because he’d wanted to, nothing more complicated than that. Gunner had saved his life, and that had spurred Sam on to do it, but truthfully he had wanted to before that, too.

  As they wrapped up their work, as they explained the situation with the car to Mike, who would call the owner and yell at him for not being honest about what had happened, Sam found himself looking at Gunner. Tracing over his face with a hungry gaze, lingering on the full, even lips, those lips that were so fun to taste, to tease apart, to kiss.

  While he looked, a sort of epiphany came over him. Not in an overstated way, he just suddenly realized that he knew something, that something made sense. Maybe he had even known it for a while, without acknowledging it fully.

  Why couldn’t he just have some fun while Gunner was around? He wasn’t at any risk of his heart getting attached, so he wouldn’t end up broken from it. He could get this weird gay stuff out of his system, and when he and Gunner parted, it could be on good terms.

  Why not? There was no reason, not that he could think of. It felt good to think about it, having something like a relationship, on a very short-term basis. The logical thing to do, he figured, was to try to figure out if Gunner felt the same.

  “Hey,” Sam asked, as Mike, grumbling, went off to the front room to make a phone call. He looked at Gunner as the other man turned to face him, his expression frankly questioning. Did Sam’s tone sound weird or something? Probably, but he forged on anyway. “Do you want to hit the bar or something?”

  Immediately, he wanted to start justifying the question. Make sure that Gunner knew that it wasn’t a date that he was proposing or anything like that. Clutching his hands in front of him, Sam kept his mouth shut through great force of will and just looked at Gunner.

  It was probably only fair to give the guy a chance to answer the question before he made any assumptions, he supposed.

  “Yeah, okay. Cool,” Gunner spoke like it was no big deal, and Sam supposed that it wasn’t, to most people. But the only bar in town being a gay bar sort of tended to make things a little bit awkward. He’d been to the bar with friends before, but they’d always had to go to a different town to make that happen.

  Somehow, though, Gunner didn’t exactly seem like the sort of person who would be ashamed to go there. It was sort of refreshing, sort of terrifying, in pretty much equal measure. Gunner didn’t know how to keep his sexuality a secret, and Sam, well, he didn’t know how not to.

  With a smile that was almost shy, Sam nodded and turned to wash his hands, trying, as always, to dig out the oil and dirt under his fingernails. It seemed that he had something that, despite what he might have blurted out, really did seem like somewhat of a date to him.

  A date, at a gay bar, with another guy. He should have been scared or disgusted or both. Anything but this sense of anticipation. This desire to be around Gunner, to catch him in unguarded moments, to watch as his eyes shone and his lips quirked up into that adorable little half smile.

  It was funny how life worked out sometimes.

  * * *

  Somehow, it hadn’t occurred to Sam that there would be other people at the bar. It really should have, since it was probably the most popular place in town, but it hadn’t.

  If anything, he had thought that the very bustling atmosphere would protect him. Every time he had walked in before, people had barely looked up, and it had been an easy thing for him just to slink to a corner and nurse his drink in peace. Even when he’d picked up a shift or two here and there to help Ben or Isaac out, no one had paid him much attention.

  Or so he had always assumed. And maybe it was even the case, but it apparently didn’t work out quite the same way when he walked in with another man. It seemed to Sam, who wanted to crawl deep into his own skin suddenly, that everyone was looking at him and Gunner, who had his hand lightly, easily, on the small of Sam’s back.

  “Hey, Sammy,” Ben called, just one more thing that Sam really should have remembered. Normally, it wasn’t a problem that Isaac or Ben or sometimes both were almost always here, but from the look in Ben’s eyes, he wasn’t going to forget that Sam had come in with Gunner.

  When he’d thought of going on a date, in short, he hadn’t thought of it as being such a public thing. But what did it matter? As far as any of these people knew, he and Gunner were just here as friends. Sam had nothing to be ashamed of.

  Or so he tried to tell himself. Somehow, that didn’t seem to sink in quite as deeply as he might have liked. He felt himself cringing back, away from the waves of heat that seemed to come off of the eyes of everyone watching them, but Gunner’s hand was there, and it provided some stability.

  “Hi, Ben,” Sam replied, making his way through the crowds of people, Gunner right by his side. They dropped down into a couple of bar stools, while Ben looked them over with eyes that seemed to gleam despite the dim light in the bar.

  “What can I get you two?” Ben finally asked, and Sam let his shoulders relax a little bit. For a moment there, he’d been worried that he was going to be subjected to protective big brother mode. Ben had done it before, but honestly, he seemed more amused than anything else.

  Which for Sam meant that he was probably never going to hear the end of this. Maybe he should have thought this out a tiny bit more before he asked Gunner out. Gone somewhere else, where no one knew them. Still, who would remember that any of this had happened? A few weeks after Gunner left, it should all fade away. Right? And Sam had nothing to be ashamed of.

  Gunner slipped an arm around Sam’s waist, and Sam relaxed a little bit more. Which was a bit odd. Shouldn’t the increased intimacy make him more uncomfortable? Interesting how it felt so right to be close to Gunner, how it helped him in so many ways. It didn’t fix the discomfort, but it went a long way toward helping Sam to accept it. Or almost, anyway.

  “Beer,” Gunner and Sam spoke at the same time and then turned to look at each other. Sam felt his heart lurch in his chest as their eyes met, and then they both laughed, and so did Ben, which broke up some of the remaining tension.

  “Beer, then,” Ben agreed, and he poured them both tall, f
oamy glasses and set them before them. Then he grabbed a bottle of whiskey and sloshed the amber liquid into shot glasses, putting them down in front of them, too.

  “Uh, Ben, we didn’t order …” Sam started, and Ben smirked and, oh God, he actually winked at Sam and reached out to pat his shoulder. Right in front of everyone. In front of Gunner. If a hole had opened up in the ground under him, Sam would have cheerfully let himself fall into it.

  “On the house, Sammy. It ain’t every day that my baby brother goes on his first ever date with a guy.”

  Someone called Ben over then, and it was probably a good thing because Sam would have had a few choice words after that little gem. Especially since there were quite a few other people who had heard that, and they were chuckling and looking at him fondly like he was about ten. A cute kid, doing cute kid things.

  This was the problem with small towns, damn it. Everyone knew him, and had since he was just a kid, and there were enough people here that anyone who wasn’t here would still hear about what was happening.

  “Cheers,” Sam spoke glumly, picking up the whiskey and tossing it back. It burned like fire all the way down into his stomach, but once it was there, it mellowed into a low glow, like somehow everything was going to be okay.

  Gunner grinned at him and took the shot, too, wiping the back of his mouth with his hand.

  “So, was your brother right?” Gunner asked, and Sam winced a little but didn’t look away. He had a feeling he knew what the rest of the question was, and his feeling was soon confirmed. “Is this a date?”

  Sam had been sort of trying to avoid that particular question, but here he was, face to face with it.

  “Do you want it to be?” he asked, deliberately trying to deflect it on Gunner, but from the look on his face, he wasn’t particularly fooled by it.

  “Yeah.” To Sam’s surprise, Gunner didn’t continue their verbal sparring. He didn’t try to ignore the question or pass it off. He just answered it, which was honestly the last thing that Sam would have expected.

  “Then yeah.” Sam felt color rising in his cheeks. Must be from the whiskey. He hadn’t turned twenty-one that long ago, after all, and he didn’t tend to hit the hard stuff that much. “Yeah, it’s a date.”

  “Good.” Gunner pulled Sam closer so that he was hanging off of the edge of his stool, almost cuddled against him. It wasn’t the most comfortable sensation in the world, the thinly padded seat against his ass, but somehow, that didn’t seem to matter all that much.

  Together, they drank their beers, and soon enough, Ben came by and poured them both another whiskey. Gratefully, Sam downed it and felt the nerves, the tension, dissolve. The bar, crowded as it was, seemed much less hostile than it had even half an hour ago.

  “Come dance with me.”

  Sam felt the vibrations, heard the sound of his own voice as he leaned over to whisper into Gunner’s ear, but part of him still couldn’t even believe that he had just said those words. Surely he wasn’t brave enough to invite another man to dance with him, not right out where everyone could see him, but somehow, he had. And the slow smile that Gunner gave him made it feel more than worth it.

  “If you think you can keep up,” Gunner murmured back, and then the bar was spinning around him as Gunner tugged him right off the stool and out onto the cleared area which served as a de facto dance floor.

  The song was a fast one with a heavy beat. Ben made sure to sneak rock songs on there, not just the country that most bars in this little corner of the world would have been playing, and Sam relaxed into the music that he’d been listening to for more than half of his life.

  The alcohol helped loosen him up quite a bit, and soon enough, he and Gunner were clowning around, seeing who could do the most outrageous dance moves, and bursting into laughter again and again. Sam had never felt so free, and when the rock song faded into a slow country ballad, and when the couples around them stepped close and swayed together, he didn’t move away.

  There was a challenge in Gunner’s eyes. Would Sam, who really didn’t want people to think about him as interested in men, allow himself to slow dance with another man? Gunner clearly wouldn’t force it on him, but his look dared Sam.

  Slowly, Sam stepped forward, and Gunner’s arms came up to meet him. As their bodies pressed close, as they rocked slowly to the music, everyone else seemed to cease to matter. The people who were watching, maybe judging, and even the fact that Ben was there, it just didn’t impact much on Sam for those few magical moments.

  Gunner seemed to fit in his arms perfectly. He was shorter than Sam so that he could rest his chin on Sam’s shoulder and Sam could lay his cheek against Gunner’s head. It was warm and comfortable and seemed to happen as naturally as breathing. Though doubtless, the whiskey had something to do with that.

  Who was this man, anyway? Other than a superb dancer, a talented lover, and a genius when it came to anything with wheels? Sam closed his eyes and breathed in his scent, which he felt like he would know anywhere. It was subtle, but there, a little bit spicy and deeply masculine. Not a cologne, just his natural smell.

  For a moment, Sam struggled with himself. How did he have any right to ask this? Wouldn’t Gunner have spoken about it if he wanted Sam to know? On the other hand, if they were going to date, Sam figured that he probably had the right to ask. Gunner could, and would, shut him down if he didn’t want to talk about it.

  Sam frowned, fighting with himself, trying to figure it all out, but his mind was muddled with the whiskey. So, in the end, he gave up and just let the words spill from his mouth. Gunner could always pretend not to hear it if he wanted to. It was pretty loud in there.

  “Hey. Why are you here?” Sam asked and then shook his head and pulled back, gazing into Gunner’s eyes. “I mean, why are you in town? Why did you come here?”

  TWELVE

  Everything was nice and easy with Sam. How strange that their relationship had started off so strained. Gunner had made his assumptions about Sam, and doubtless, Sam had done the same, and yet now as they both relaxed, Gunner could almost hear the audible click between them.

  A few days ago, maybe even yesterday, Gunner would have ignored the question. Or outright told Sam to shut up, if necessary. Gunner kept his secrets, played his cards close to his chest. Didn’t trust people all that easily, and that, he’d discovered, was a good thing.

  But almost against his will, or at least without him noticing, Sam had gotten to Gunner. He’d wormed his way, one snarky comment at a time, into Gunner’s heart. Or near enough that it felt like a threat, the promise of intimacy which could never play out.

  Maybe Sam was right. Maybe it was time for him to know just how hopeless this relationship was before they got any closer and before it started to feel any more right to sway together in this man’s arms and think about maybe even having a future together.

  “My ex,” Gunner spoke slowly, but just as he started to speak, the song changed into a much louder, faster tune, pulsing around them and robbing Gunner of his ability to hear even his own voice.

  It would have been easy just to let it go. To take it as a sign that he was moving too fast with this. For whatever reason, he didn’t want to take that chance, though, so he hooked his arm around Sam’s slender, tight waist and tugged him out of the bar. Somewhat to his surprise, Sam even cooperated with it.

  “What about your ex?”

  The night outside was sultry and still warm. At least it felt that way to Gunner, who wasn’t sure he would ever get used to the heat of this place. Still, he kept his arm around Sam, and as the door shut, the noise became greatly muted so that they could hear each other again.

  “I left him. He didn’t take it well.” Gunner decided to keep things simple. Why bother complicating everything between them? Or he was just scared. What would Sam think if he knew the full truth about him?

  “Oh,” Sam commented, as they dropped down onto the steps that led the way up into the bar. This late, the people who were going to
come here were already there, so it was just him and Sam, the muffled music, and the cold, twinkling stars.

  He’d never seen so many stars.

  “Yeah,” Gunner continued, his arm tugging Sam close, wordlessly asking for comfort as he spoke. “He follows me. Tries to … I don’t know.” Only he did know. It just wasn’t something that he wanted to say out loud.

  “He wants you back?” Sam asked, and Gunner snorted and shook his head.

  “Nah. I think he just doesn’t want anyone else to have me.”

  A silence fell between them, one which was almost, but not quite, uncomfortable. Gunner turned to look at Sam, seeing his profile, only even in the shimmering light of the stars he could see there was a struggle, a sadness, in Sam’s eyes. The man was smart. Practically a genius. He knew what Gunner was saying, and more than that, it made him sad to think about.

  “Will he find you here?” Sam finally asked, when the silence had stretched on for so long that Gunner was starting to wonder if it would ever break.

  “Nah,” Gunner shifted over and rested his cheek on Sam’s shoulder. Sam, somewhat to Gunner’s surprise, allowed it. They both just kept on taking these little baby steps toward each other, and Gunner, at least, kept on expecting Sam to pull away anytime.

  Sam didn’t, and neither did Gunner. He couldn’t make himself, even if he knew it might be the wisest course of action.

  “I have a job waiting for me in Austin, though,” Gunner spoke up again, almost like he was reminding himself of it. As Gunner watched, Sam opened his mouth, obviously about to say something and Gunner was pretty sure that he didn’t want to hear it, whatever it was.

  There had been quite enough sharing and caring, on his part, at least. So before Sam could say whatever he was about to say, Gunner spoke up, interrupting him before he could even start to speak.