Soulswap

by Arizona Tape

  “It’s so early!”

  Devon pushed the pillow away. “It’s not, the sun is already up!”

  “That’s cause it’s summer. It’s always light out,” I protested, pulling blankets over my face to shield myself from the sun.

  “Tate, come on… You said you were okay with going to the zoo,” Devon sighed in exasperation.

  “Yes, but I didn’t realise you wanted to go so early.”

  “Early? It’s almost ten…”

  I groaned and swatted his hand away. “See, too early.”

  The bed dipped. “You want to stay in?” he whispered, his fingers walking over my hip. I rolled on my side and curled up in him.

  “Maybe a little longer?”

  He nodded and kissed the tip of my nose. “Okay, but just cause it’s you.”

  I smiled and breathed in his scent. He reminded me of the ocean. Which wasn’t surprising, since he belonged to the sea.

  A whiff of coral passed by and parts of my dream flashed through my mind. Hmmm, I did like coral. Maybe I should find Devon a shampoo with pearl extracts or something. Although that was probably a rather girly scent. But still…

  “Did you sleep well?” he murmured against my skin, his hand drawing eights on my hip.

  “I did. Although no dreams, not since the strange dream from a couple of nights ago,” I answered, recalling the piercing dark eyes of the blonde.

  “You did? What was that one about again?”

  I opened my mouth but faltered. For some reason, I suddenly didn’t feel like sharing after all. “Umm… I don’t remember exactly, but I know it was weird. I fell asleep in my sleep,” I omitted, only half-lying. It really was a strange phenomenon.

  “Mmmmm, sounds weird, yes,” Devon hummed, his fingers now tracing lines further down on my thigh. I glanced down and noticed the unmistakable bulge straining against his pants. Again?

  Maybe it was time to get out of bed after all.

  I pushed him to the side and yawned, rolling away from him. “You’re right, it’s the perfect day for the zoo. Let’s go.”

  “Yes?” Devon quipped up, surprise running through his eyes. Not that I blamed him. I really was all over the place.

  “Yes, you’re right, we’re just wasting time in bed.”

  “Why are there so many people?” I complained, glaring angrily at all the loud kids and annoying parents.

  “It’s a Saturday? People have the day off and come to the zoo?” Devon reasoned, snapping a picture of the giraffe.

  “I didn’t mean here, just in general. You’d think after being so overpopulated, humans would stop breeding,” I muttered, kicking a little rock.

  “Tate, can you just stop hating the world for one second and come admire the animals?” Devon sighed, pointing at the enclosure.

  “Sorry…”

  I knew I was sour company. But then again, Devon knew how much I disliked public spaces with a lot of people. Not a hair on my body would even think about setting foot in a zoo, but I was here anyway. For him. He was worth setting my anxieties aside for. After all, I knew he would protect me. If something, anything, happened, Devon would be here to take care of me. I knew he would. He’d done so since he chased away two bullies with a stick when I was only five. After the incident, he hadn’t left my side.

  And here we were, almost twenty years later, and I still knew he’d protect me if needed. And yet, even though he managed to silence some of my worries, my anxieties, there was always this inherent fear. A panic threatening to break free, at any given moment. And nobody, not even Devon, would be able to comfort me if it happened.

  But it wasn’t going to happen. I wouldn’t let it. No, I was going to pretend I was having fun, look at the stupid animals, and make sure Devon had a nice time.

  I turned to look at the cage of giraffes, but something protested. I protested. My body wasn’t turning. Why wasn’t it turning?

  Why couldn’t I move? What was wrong? Was I wrong?

  Come on, Tate, move. Don’t pass out. Don’t…

  And then the world faded to black.

  Chapter 4

  “Hey, you okay?”

  I groaned, the sunlight was hurting my eyes. Damn. What happened? Did I pass out? That seemed unlikely. I hadn’t passed out in a long time.

  “Can you hear me?” A woman’s voice was talking. Was she talking to me? I hoped not. People should really mind their own business. Devon was a doctor and perfectly capable of taking care of me.

  The world spun as I pushed myself up from the ground. I brushed my hands around me in confusion. Grass. A lot of it. And it was rather soft. That was pleasant.

  “Ayra?” the same voice kept saying things.

  Couldn’t she just leave me alone? Yes, her voice was nice and soft, but I really didn’t want to deal with strangers.

  My eyelids strained as I forced them open. Wow, it was bright.

  “You’re awake.”

  Warm hands touched my face and I flinched. At least, I wanted to. But my body seemed to lean into it. Huh?

  “Ummm…”

  “Ayra, are you okay?”

  I looked around me. Was there someone else not okay? I didn’t fall on someone, did I? Oh no, I did it. I sat on a child. I was crushing a little girl named Ayra with my fat butt.

  “Shit,” I cursed, looking around me panicked. Just my luck that I fainted in a public space. At least at home, there were no kids to fall on.

  Although…

  Huh.... Where was everybody? I was alone on a grassy field with this lady. No kids around though. Well, at least that was a good thing. Fainted in public, check. Didn’t sit on children, check. Talking to yourself, double check. Yes, today was going great.

  “Are you hurt?”

  The same female voice grabbed my attention again. Reluctantly, I decided to deal with her. Then I could get away and find Devon. Maybe this would convince him to leave the zoo early.

  Two dark eyes stared at me, concern swirling in them. She was still cupping my face and stroking my cheek. What was with this lady? Never heard of personal space? Ummm, hello? Why was she so close?

  “Say something?”

  “Umm… Hello?”

  The blonde chuckled nervously. “Thank god, you’re okay. I was so worried.”

  “Why?” I asked, frowning my brows.

  “You suddenly passed out, and fell to the ground before I could catch you.”

  “Why would you catch me?” I questioned, pushing her hands away from my face. Where was Devon? Why did he leave me alone with this crazy lady? And why was she so touchy feely?

  “Oh Ayra, I’ll always catch you,” she muttered, hurt flashing through her eyes. My stomach clenched of the thought that I hurt her. Which made no sense. I didn’t know her. Why should I care? She was the one touching me. And who was this Ayra she kept mentioning?

  I looked around, hoping to spot this ‘Ayra’. Was it a dog? Or maybe a chair? I wouldn’t put it past this lady. As beautiful as she was, she was clearly mental.

  Wait…

  Did I just think she was beautiful? That was unusual… But she was. Her dark eyes, her frail porcelain skin, the blonde locks framing her face. She looked familiar. Actually… She smelled familiar as well. But I couldn’t pinpoint from where. Had I met her before?

  “Ayra?”

  There she went again, Ayra, Ayra, Ayra. It was starting to annoy me a little.

  “Who is Ayra?” I snapped, irritated. Whoever this Ayra was, Blondie was looking for her.

  “You are?”

  A sharp chuckle fell from my lips. “Me? No, I’m not.”

  Blondie placed a cool hand on my forehead. “Did you hit your head?”

  I pushed her hand away. “I did not.”

  “Love, you’re making no sense.”

  How was I the one making no sense. “Uumm, excuse me. But who are you? Where are we? Where’s Devon?”

  Another flash of hurt shot through Blondie’s eyes and I felt guilt rise from my s
tomach. Not that I knew why. I didn’t know this lady, so why did I care about her feelings?

  “It’s me…” she whispered, her voice breaking. I had the sudden urge to hug her, but refrained from it. Hugging people usually led to them crying and I really didn’t feel like holding a sobbing stranger. But she didn’t seem to think we were strangers.

  Was I the one confused?

  “I’m sorry, maybe I did hit my head. I can’t really remember what’s going on. Where are we?”

  Blondie cleared her throat and brushed a strand of hair behind my ear. The gesture was surprisingly tender for someone I didn’t know. Maybe I did know her.

  “We’re out picnicking. We just visited this beautiful old castle, the one I always wanted to see.”

  “Aha…” I trailed off, racking my brain. So I knew her and I met up with her? But I thought I was on a date with Devon. Did I lose a chunk of my memory? Was I the one going mental?

  “I’m sorry, and you are?”

  “Sian.”

  “Sian?” I repeated, her name rolling surprisingly easy from my tongue.

  “Yes?”

  “And we know each other… How?”

  “Ayra! We’ve been dating for four years?!”

  “We have?” Huh, that made no sense. I wasn’t dating this Sian girl I was pretty sure I was in a long-term relationship with Devon. Well, ‘engaged’ more like it. I should really start using the proper terms. But why did she keep calling me Ayra? Was I so confused that I couldn’t even remember my own name?

  “I’m sorry… Sian… It all seems to be a bit fuzzy.”

  “What’s the last thing you can remember?”

  I tilted my head, studying my surroundings. I was definitely not at the zoo anymore. And there were no other people around, either. Just me and Blon—, umm, Sian.

  “I’m not sure,” I carefully answered, afraid that giving the wrong answer would just string a whole bunch of question from her. She seemed to have that kind of vibe around her.

  “Okay, let me catch you up. My name is Sian, you are Ayra. We’ve been together for over four years and you took me on a picnic date.”

  “I did?”

  The blonde shot me a questioning look.

  “Of course, I did,” I corrected myself. Blondie was looking stern at me and I didn’t like it.

  “You sure you’re okay?” she asked hesitantly.

  I pushed myself up from the ground and dusted off my clothes. Huh. What was I wearing? Why was I in a dress? I didn’t like dresses, hadn’t owned one in years. And yet, here I was. My knobbly knees sticking out from underneath this sleek skirt. Ugh. What the fuck was going on here?

  My name was suddenly “Ayra”? I was apparently dating Blondie over here? No zoos, but secluded picnic dates? I could deal with all those. But a dress? A dress?

  No. Freaking. Way.

  From all the surprises, this was definitely the worst of all. Whoever decided it was a good idea to put me in this dress, would soon feel my wrath. I’d waterdragon the shit out of them. Which meant shoot them with a watergun. I couldn’t actually do anything dragon-like… But still....

  “Ayra?”

  Who was Blondie talking to now?

  Oh right, Ayra. That was me. Supposedly.

  “Yes?”

  “You sure you’re okay?”

  “Yes, I’m sure. It’s starting to come back, I think. Let’s just get back to this...date.”

  Picnics did beat busy days at a zoo. Wherever Devon was, he probably wouldn’t mind me playing along. For all I knew, Blondie kidnapped and drugged me. Better play along with the crazy and wait for Devon to find me. He’d find me. We were connected, even if things didn’t always fit perfectly between us. He was my one.

  “You feel good enough to eat?”

  “Of course, I’m starving,” I smiled, hoping there was some nice food in the old-fashioned picnic basket. How cliché. And kind of romantic. Maybe I should convince Devon to take me on a picnic instead of going to the zoo or visiting a museum.

  “Ooooh, strawberries!” I exclaimed happily, surprised to find a whole container of them.

  Blondie shot me another strange look. “You made the food.”

  Oops. Did I?

  I glanced at the nicely quartered pieces of berry and frowned. I definitely did not do that. I was a horrible, horrible cook. If I’d done this, it would’ve come out looking like strawberry mush.

  Someone really was playing tricks on me. Mind games. But at least they were giving me strawberries. I should probably taste one of them. But what if they were poisoned?

  “Here,” I smiled, holding out a strawberry to Blondie. If there was something wrong with them, she’d show me.

  But to my surprise, she bend forward and nipped the fruit from my fingers. Her tongue flicked briefly against my skin and a shiver ran down my spine. But not a shiver of disgust, like I expected. No, it almost felt… Pleasant?

  What was I thinking?

  Hoping to hide my surprise, I quickly fished another strawberry from the box and threw it in my mouth.

  “Ouch!”

  My hand flew to my mouth and I moaned in pain. Shit. Did I just bite my tongue? Fuck, that wasn’t very fun.

  Carefully, I touched my tongue and ran my finger over my teeth. No wonder I bit myself. My canine teeth felt super pointy. Were they always this sharp?

  “Ayra, what’s wrong?”

  “I fwit fwyswelf,” I slurred, still pressing the soft flesh of my index finger against my pointy tooth. How had I never noticed that before?

  And damn, this stung.

  I pulled my finger out of my mouth, wondering if I was bleeding.

  I was.

  My stomach churned funnily from the sight of blood. It always did that. Blood had a funny effect on me. But it had got better over the years. At least, I thought it had.

  My head spun circles and a low humming filled my ears.

  On second thought, maybe it didn’t get better.

  Well, I already fainted once today. What was another time, right?

  Chapter 5

  “So how’s the shifting going?”

  I shoved another fork of turkey in my mouth, hoping to avoid the question.

  “Tate?”

  “Not too bad, Mum,” I muttered, wiping some sauce from my chin. Why did they always have to ask me in the middle of lunch? They knew I didn’t like talking about it, especially since there was no progress at all.

  I glanced in slight envy at my younger brother, Evan, who was gurgling his water. Unlike me, he was perfectly capable of shifting into his dragon form. In fact, he was so good at it, he could even do a partial transformation or manipulate water in his human state. The little bubbles dancing around him were the perfect example.

  And then there was… Me. The girl who choked on her water. What a disgrace.

  “How’s Devon?”

  “Good,” I replied, not really wanting to talk about him. Things had been weird the past days. Ever since the zoo, really. He kept glancing at me strangely. Maybe he believed I’d gone mental. I wouldn’t blame him. Hell, I thought I’d gone mental. That whole ‘Sian’ thing was just so strange. It felt too realistic. And according to Devon, he’d spent the rest of the afternoon with me in the zoo. But I sure as hell couldn’t remember it. Not the tigers we apparently visited, or the new father we met. No, all I could think off was the blonde and her gentle caresses. Her face kept playing in my head and I found my mind wander off. I’d seen her before, I was almost sure I had. But where? Why? Was it even real? Why couldn’t I recall it?

  “Tate?”

  “Huh?”

  “How are things going at the hospital?”

  “Oh… Good… I think.”

  Dad cut off another slice of turkey and pushed it on my plate. “You should really eat more.”

  “Yes, or you won’t be able to carry grandchildren,” Mum added, making me roll my eyes. They both knew I wasn’t ready for kids yet. Besides, what was the point? I coul
dn’t shift, and with my luck, I’d ruin Devon’s lineage as well.

  “You should really go to the temple and pray to our ancestors,” Mum scolded, neatly folding her napkin.

  “I doubt those old dead geezers can do anything for me,” I muttered, pushing the peas around on my plate. I hated peas. With a passion. Which my parents knew. Yet, they insisted on making them every time I came around.

  “Tate, mind your language, young lady!” Mum hissed in a shrill voice. I rolled my eyes and pushed my plate away. They really put too much stock in our family temple. “I saw that!” she followed up, her nostrils flaring. Why were they so uptight? Or at least, why were they so uptight with me?

  I glanced at my little brother who was still gurgling his water. The bubbles were now shaped in squares and were dancing in a line around his head. Highly improper, but my parents didn’t seem to mind. In fact, they almost seemed proud. But then again, could I really blame them? I was the only child that couldn’t shift. Not just theirs, in our whole community, I was the only person who hadn’t managed to transform yet. The outcast. It was really a miracle that Devon stuck by me all these years and protected me from all the dirty whispers and gossip.

  It was no surprise why I didn’t like visiting my parents. Not that they’d understand. I threw my napkin on my cutlery and pushed myself out of my chair.

  “Can I be excused?”

  “But you only just got here?” Dad protested, glancing at Mum. He was the milder of the two and he seemed almost saddened to see me go. Almost. I knew he was just upset because I didn’t eat his garden peas.

  “I think I need to go pray,” I announced, hoping they wouldn’t catch the sarcasm.

  “I’m pleased to hear that, darling.”

  Nope, she definitely didn’t catch it. Ah well, better for me.

  I gave Evan a kiss on his cheek and ruffled his hair. “See you soon, big man.”

  “Ahhh, okay… Bye Tay!” he waved, looking genuinely sad I was leaving. Well, at least one of them was.

  The air was cold as it blew through the wooden gazebo.

  “So, what do you think, Gramps?” I asked out loud, not aimed at anyone in particular. Cause there was nobody else here.