Amber Beach

by Elizabeth Lowell

  “I’m not going to pack.”

  “Okay.”

  She blinked, caught off balance again. “Just like that? Okay?”

  “Just like that. And like this.”

  He kissed her again, letting the leash on his hunger slip enough to make both of them breathe hard. When he finally let go of her, she looked at him with puzzled, gold-green eyes.

  “Jake?”

  “Yes?”

  “What am I going to do with you?”

  “I have a few modest suggestions.”

  “Modest?” she said skeptically.

  “Maybe modest is the wrong word. Let’s get naked and see if I can find the right word.”

  She smiled, but it slipped until it was as sad as a smile could be.

  Jake saw the change and knew what caused it. She didn’t like wanting a man she didn’t really trust. Rationally he couldn’t blame her for not believing that he wanted her more than he wanted her brother’s hide. In her shoes he would have felt the same way. Yet that lack of trust was going to make things even more dangerous. For both of them.

  “I should have just stuffed you aboard the Tomorrow and sailed over the horizon before Archer could call or Ellen could poison the well,” Jake said quietly. “Then you would still trust me. But I didn’t and you don’t and we’re stuck with it. Shit.”

  Honor started to say something, then simply shook her head. He ran his fingertips over her cheek in a gentle caress and released her.

  “Did Marju say anything useful?” he asked.

  “How do you define useful?”

  “Helping us find Kyle, the amber, or both.”

  “No. She wanted to move in with me.”

  Jake turned back suddenly. “And?”

  Honor’s mouth turned down. “I gave her all my spare cash and said there wasn’t room here for a third person to live. That makes me an unfeeling bitch, but I’m carrying all the chain I can swim with right now. I can’t carry her, too.”

  He let out a hidden breath. He had been wondering how he would get rid of Marju without looking like an insensitive American male.

  “Marju is a big girl,” Jake said. “She’s been through wars you can’t even imagine. She’ll do fine on her own.”

  “She seemed awfully upset.”

  “It’s a cultural thing. Lithuanians are kind of the Italians of the Baltic, famous for emoting all over the place. Believe me, you’re more upset than Marju is.”

  “I hope so.”

  “I know so. How much of that salmon salad did you make?” he asked, turning away again.

  “A quart or so. There’s enough plain salmon left for an omelet tomorrow and pasta tomorrow night.”

  Mentally Jake went over the supplies in his truck, her kitchen, and already on board the Tomorrow. The food probably would last longer than the gas, even in weather like this.

  He looked out at the water beyond Amber Beach’s protected shore. Whitecaps leaped on most waves. Streaks of foam had formed. Long, wind-driven swells were humping up in the dark blue water. Small craft warnings would be going out soon, if they weren’t already posted.

  He had planned to pull a switch and take his own boat to the last place Kyle had entered into his chart plotter, but the Better Days wasn’t as big as the Tomorrow. Even though his boat was seaworthy enough to take on near-gale winds, as long as small craft warnings were out the Coast Guard had the right to decide what small craft should be on the ocean and what should stay in port.

  The Tomorrow was twenty-seven feet long, technically above the size limit of “small craft.” None of the boats following him were that big, except perhaps the elusive Olympic that Conroy had seen. If the rest of the folks kept on following him with their little Tupperware navy, they would be in for a hair-raising ride.

  With hidden impatience, Jake reviewed what had to be done before he took to the water again. It would be hours until it was dark enough for him to sneak out, put on his diving gear, and go over the hull of the Tomorrow for any little presents left behind by Whidbey Island’s navy SEALs. He would rather have spent the time until dark naked with Honor in a bed the size of Texas instead of standing on one foot and then the other. But getting his hands on her sweet body wasn’t real likely right now. Or any time soon.

  “To hell with sneaking around,” he muttered. “It’s not like it will come as a big surprise to anyone. They’re probably wondering why I haven’t done it before now.”

  “Hello?” Honor said. “Are you talking to me?”

  “I’m going diving.”

  She looked out the window. Something cold and unpleasant slid down her spine at the thought of being out on the water. Even the little beach was feeling the impact of the wind now. Instead of lapping at the rocky shore, the waves were smacking against stone and exploding into foam that was whipped quickly ashore. Spindrift was sticking to tall rocks. Tall, powerful fir trees were swaying like dancers in the wind.

  “You’re diving in that?” Honor asked.

  “No. Below that.”

  “You’re nuts.”

  “Blame yourself. You vetoed a much better idea.”

  “What are you talking about? I didn’t veto—”

  “Sure you did,” he interrupted. “Remember? Us, in bed, naked?” He smiled at her expression. “Don’t worry, honey. I’ve got a different kind of skin diving in mind at the moment. But hold the good thought.”

  “I’d feel better if you smiled with your eyes, too.”

  “So would I. But life’s a bitch and—”

  “—then you die,” she finished with a catch in her voice. “Jake, don’t go diving. It’s too dangerous.”

  Honor knew it was stupid to let him see her worry for him, yet she couldn’t do anything about it. Even though her mind and her instincts were locked in uncivil warfare over what to do about Jake Mallory, the thought of him being hurt made her want to throw herself into his arms and hold him close.

  And then she realized that he was already holding her, rocking her against his chest.

  “It’s all right,” Jake said. “I’m only going as far as the dock. I won’t leave you to face the wolves alone.”

  She barely kept herself from telling him that she wasn’t worried about herself. Giving that away would have been really stupid. She was in more trouble than he was.

  He wasn’t fighting himself along with everyone else.

  Honor went down the path to the boat beside Jake, hugging her wind jacket around her. The temperature was over sixty, but the wind made it seem closer to thirty. Jake didn’t seem to notice it. He was wearing a dive suit that fit like skin and a tank of air held on by a harness. Tight black gloves covered his hands. Big flippers and a mask dangled from his right fist. Hoses and a metal gauge lay over his shoulders.

  He should have looked awkward, but she kept seeing him as he was beneath the suit—nearly naked and sexy enough to make her forget all the reasons she shouldn’t be thinking about what she couldn’t help thinking about.

  “You must be freezing,” she said.

  “Not yet. That will come after I’ve been in the water for a while.”

  “So don’t go in!”

  He didn’t say anything.

  “Why do you have to look at the Tomorrow’s hull? Has it sprung a leak?”

  “Just checking.”

  She waited, but he had no more to say on the subject of why he was going for a dive in a gale. It had been the same every time she brought it up in the past hour. Silence or a change of subject.

  “Why won’t you tell me?” she asked.

  “Because you have enough to worry about.”

  “And this is helping me how?”

  Jake sighed. “I figure by now the SEALs have used the Tomorrow for a training exercise. I’m just going to make sure they haven’t done any damage.”

  It wasn’t the whole truth, but it was as much as he was going to tell her. She was strung tight enough as it was. If she knew he was going to take Kyle’s boat out aft
er dark, it wouldn’t help her nerves at all.

  “You think they sabotaged the Tomorrow?” Honor asked, suddenly angry.

  “No. I’m just being careful.”

  “Paranoid.”

  “That too.”

  A gust of wind made Honor stagger. Jake steadied her with his free hand.

  “Go back to the cottage,” he said. “I’ll be fine.”

  “ ‘I’ll be fine,’ ‘’ she mimicked savagely. “Like hell. You’re not supposed to go diving alone.”

  Jake knew that, but he was doing it anyway. Sometimes it was safer to break the rules than to be the only one playing by them.

  He walked out onto the dock. She was right on his heels.

  “Go back to the cottage,” he said again. “I won’t be long.”

  “Good. I’ll be right here the whole time.”

  “We don’t have a second suit. If I get into trouble, what could you do?”

  “Dance a jig on the dock.”

  “Want to be in on the kill, huh?”

  She shivered. The thought of him being hurt was bad enough. The thought of him dying made her cold all the way to her soul.

  “Sorry to disappoint you, buttercup,” he said, “but I am going to disappoint you on that one. No victory dance over my dead body.”

  “That’s not funny,” she said through her teeth.

  “Not for me. But I’m not half as mad at me as you are.”

  In a seething kind of silence Honor watched while Jake finished suiting up on the dock. Soon he was turning on the compressed air and checking the flow. Satisfied, he put in the mouthpiece. Moments later he stepped off the deep end of the dock and sank beneath the choppy water.

  Honor could barely follow the trail of bubbles for all the wind and froth. Every time she lost all sign of Jake, she thought about what it would be like if he didn’t surface at all, ever.

  “Get back up here, Jake Mallory,” she said to the dark water. “I’m not nearly mad enough at you yet!”

  By the time he finally surfaced, Honor had thought about many things, none of them guaranteed to make her feel all warm and squishy. Jake’s easy strength as he levered himself from the cold water onto the dock told her that he was doing better than she was. She could barely feel her fingers, and her toes were numb. She wasn’t dressed to be out in this kind of wind.

  “Did you find it?” she demanded as soon as he removed his mask.

  “Find what?”

  “The tracking gizmo,” she said impatiently. “Did the water freeze your brain?”

  “I don’t remember mentioning any tracking gizmo.” He sat down and began removing the flippers.

  Wind whipped hair across Honor’s mouth and eyes. Impatiently she pushed it away. “Contrary to my performance in the past day or so, I’m not completely stupid. The SEALs aren’t going to blow us up, but they sure might make it easier for Ellen and the boys to track us. So did you find it?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Where is it now?”

  “I attached it to the dock.”

  “Well, that should reassure them that we’re not going anywhere.”

  “That’s the idea,” he said, standing again. “C’mon. Let’s get in out of the wind.”

  Frowning, Honor followed Jake up the path, certain she was missing something. She was still trying to figure out what as he went into the bedroom to get out of his dive suit. Though the door to the bedroom stayed open, she didn’t go in. She didn’t trust herself not to offer to help unzip his high-tech skin. Worrying about him under the water had made it nearly impossible to stay mad at him on land.

  Jake stepped into the shower and rinsed off the dive suit. He dried it like a second skin, then peeled off the cold water diving hood and went to work on the rest of the suit.

  “Don’t they have someone watching the house?” Honor called from the living room. “Whoever the guy was that called and told Mather the ‘primary subjects’ were back together again?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Do you think he can see the dock?”

  “Probably.”

  “Then he’ll know you know about the gizmo.”

  Jake decided he should have left Honor out in the wind a little longer. Her mind was still too sharp.

  “It’s possible,” he said finally. His voice was muffled because he was peeling off the top half of his wet suit.

  “Then what’s to stop them from sticking another one on?”

  “Nothing.”

  “Then why did you bother to go gizmo-diving in the first place?”

  Jake sighed and told Honor what she really didn’t want to hear. “Because they won’t come back until well after dark, and by then the Tomorrow won’t be here.”

  Silence came, followed by, “Where will it be?”

  “Out there,” he said, waving in the direction of the islands.

  Honor could see the islands through the bedroom window. They rose above the wild water like distant, blue-black whales.

  “You’re kidding, right?” she asked, afraid that he wasn’t.

  “Wrong.”

  He peeled off the bottom half of the dive suit, went to the shower again, and rinsed off his flippers, dive gloves, and tank harness. He could still hear Honor above the sound of the shower, but he pretended he couldn’t. He already knew that she didn’t think much of going out in rough weather. Normally he didn’t either. Not much had been normal lately.

  Honor stalked into the bathroom, hands on hips and flags of anger flying in her cheeks. The sight of him naked but for some kind of diver’s jockstrap didn’t improve her temper one bit.

  “Jacob Mallory, look at that ocean!”

  “I’ve been out in worse.”

  “I haven’t!”

  “That’s okay. You aren’t coming with me. You’re going to call Ellen and tell her we had the mother of all fights and you’ve decided to join her team.”

  “No,” Honor said flatly.

  “That means you’re coming with me.”

  “But—”

  “There’s no other choice,” Jake said ruthlessly, brushing past her on the way from bathroom to bedroom. “I’m not leaving you alone with the likes of Snake Eyes on the loose.”

  Honor followed Jake farther into the bedroom, then wished she hadn’t. The bedroom really had a stunning water view. Up until this moment she had loved it. Now she felt like hiding; the sea was angry and violent, as bad as her nightmares of being scared and wet and facedown in a leaky boat that smelled of fish.

  “Call Ellen,” Jake said softly, touching Honor’s suddenly pale cheek. “She’ll take care of you.”

  “No.”

  “Look at me.”

  Honor turned away from the water. Despite Jake’s gentle voice, his gray eyes were no more peaceful than the sea.

  “If I find Kyle,” Jake said clearly, “I will do everything I can to bring him back safely to you. I promise you.”

  “No,” she whispered.

  Anger and impatience and something else, something painful, changed Jake’s features. “You really don’t trust me.”

  “That’s not it.”

  “The hell it isn’t.” He turned away and grabbed jeans and underwear from the duffel he had brought. “Well, you’re shit out of luck, buttercup. It’s Ellen or me.” He stripped out of the wet jockstrap and pulled on dry underwear. “No third choice.” He yanked on the jeans. “I don’t have time right now to arrange for baggage handlers to take you to Tahiti. Ellen’s boss is getting impatient. They could pull the plug on me, and then I would be shit out of luck right along with you.”

  “Jake, that’s not—”

  He kept on talking. “Once the elephants start to play, dumb pieces of grass like me get trampled in the mud. Kyle has the Donovan family to wash him off and coo over his wounds. I don’t have anyone but me. I have to find out the truth about that amber, because nobody else cares. That means you’re going to Ellen and I’m going to sea. If that throws a kink in your plans, then t
hat’s too damned—”

  His tirade stopped abruptly. Two cold, gentle hands were stroking his bare back.

  Jake turned around so fast that he almost knocked Honor over. “What do you think you’re doing?” he demanded.

  “Reasoning with you.” She stroked his chest, tangling her fingers softly in the silk cord that held the amber medallion in place.

  “Reasoning?” he asked.

  “Uh huh. It’s working, too. See how much more reasonable your tone is?” Honor’s fingertips traced the intertwined dragons and the male warmth beneath. “Why weren’t you wearing this the first time we made love?”

  “You didn’t know who I was. The medallion would have raised too many questions. I didn’t want to answer them.”

  “Amber man,” she said sadly.

  He shrugged, but his breath broke when her fingers went from the medallion to his nipples. They turned to tiny stones beneath her curious fingertips.

  “Nice try, but you still only have two choices,” Jake said through clenched teeth. “Ellen or me.”

  “I’m thinking.”

  One of Honor’s hands trailed down his chest to his navel and then on to the finger-width of black hair that led down the center of his briefs. He rose to meet her with a speed and force that sent an answering flood of arousal through her.

  “What are you thinking?” he asked.

  “I was wondering how you would taste.”

  Jake’s breath locked in his throat. “You’re supposed to be thinking about your choice—Ellen or the boat. No matter how much I want you or how good you give it to me, you still only have two choices.”

  “Are you accusing me of trying to seduce you in order to muddle your mind?” Honor asked.

  Slim, caressing fingers slid inside his briefs. Her hands were no longer cold. Or if they were, he didn’t notice it.

  “Aren’t you?” he asked.

  “Would it work?”

  “No. Yes.” His breath hissed as she stroked the pulse beating so hotly beneath smooth skin. “Damn it, I can’t think when you do that.”

  “How about when I do this?”

  Her hands moved quickly and his briefs slid down to his knees, then his ankles. The heat of her mouth was every wet dream he had ever had rolled into one. Distantly he told himself that he was stronger, tougher, meaner, all he had to do was grab her by the arms and lift her to her feet and that would end her silly attempt to change his mind by offering sex.