I was not going to be my mother. I was not going to use men while they used my body. Fuck that. I had way too much pride for that. I was just fine being poor. I was independent, and that was worth a million times more than any fancy necklace or other expensive gift a wealthy man might offer.
I had my dignity. My mother had given hers away a long time ago.
I had lost all respect for her the moment I realized she was shallow and incapable of real love.
Chapter 19
Cade
I was going to keep the date low key. No fancy dinners. I was going to take her out for something basic and tell her my truth.
Not only could I not afford the fancy dinner, but I didn’t want to make a scene in one of those uppity places. I would be the talk of the town, and it would surely get back to my father. I did not want to hear it from him.
I was falling back on something my trainer told me—keep it simple, stupid. I didn’t want to overcomplicate things. The lie was too big, too complicated and impossible to keep up.
I needed to simplify it all, strip everything down, and bare my soul. Okay, maybe not my soul, but telling her the truth would release me from that burden, and I could relax a bit more around her—assuming she allowed me to be around her.
I was going to try and believe what Maceo and Kacia had said. They were convinced she would want to be with me for me and wouldn’t care that I didn’t have money. If they were wrong, I was never speaking to either one of them again.
I pulled out the jeans I was planning to wear. They were newish and fit nicely. I dug around in my closet for a nice shirt and heard the phone ring. I hoped it wasn’t Eliana calling to cancel. I thought better of it. She wouldn’t call. She’d send me a text.
“Hey, Maceo,” I answered when I saw his number on the screen.
“Hey, I have to be out of town tonight. I have a couple of tickets to the ballet. I wanted to know if you wanted them. You could take Eliana.”
I grimaced. A ballet wasn’t the best place to confess your sins. It also didn’t scream poor man. I felt like I was only further perpetuating my lie by taking the tickets. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”
“Come on,” he said. “She’ll appreciate seeing a ballet. You can tell her afterward. Or maybe tell her beforehand and bribe her to continue the date with the tickets.” He laughed.
I shook my head. “I don’t know if that’s a smart thing to do.”
“I’ll have a courier bring the tickets,” he said. “Use them if you’d like or don’t. I would hate to see them go to waste. They are great seats.”
“All right, thank you. I really do appreciate it, but you know, you don’t have to give me things.”
“I know, which is why I like doing it,” he said and ended the call.
I stared at the jeans I had tossed on the bed. That wasn’t going to work for a trip to the ballet. I quickly sent a text to Eliana, letting her know it would be a semi-formal date. I wanted her to be able to plan her outfit accordingly. She’d kill me if she was in a pair of jeans and I tried to take her to a ballet.
I wasn’t a Casanova, but I damn sure knew better than to spring something like that on a woman. They hated being underdressed or overdressed. The polite thing to do was give them fair warning.
I rummaged through my closet, putting together an outfit suitable for the ballet. I was nervous as hell. I felt like everything hinged on this night. My future happiness depended on what her response was to my telling her the truth.
In the back of my mind, I kept telling myself one person should not hold that kind of power over me, but it didn’t change how I felt. She did hold that kind of power. I felt like without her in my life, I was never really going to be truly happy.
I wanted what Rand had. I wanted to feel that kind of love. Maybe that was my problem. I was so desperate to find that kind of love, I was forcing it. Eliana was really the first woman who’d caught my eye in a long time. Maybe I needed to date more.
“Nah,” I said, quickly dismissing the idea.
I wasn’t ready to give up on Eliana. I dressed, brushed my teeth two more times, knowing it was pointless since I was taking her to dinner, but just in case there was a slim chance I’d get a hello kiss, I was doing it anyway.
The tickets had been delivered, and as expected, they were front row floor seats.
I left a little early to make sure I wasn’t late. I found her apartment building and quickly found the right door on the ground floor. I knocked and checked my breath one last time before she pulled open the door. I wanted to shout, “Sweet mercy”, but I kept my cool.
She looked stunning in a little black dress with spaghetti straps holding it up. She wore a sheer shawl around her shoulders. All I could focus on was the expanse of skin and the neck I found so damn sexy.
“Hi,” I greeted.
“Hi.”
“Are you ready?”
She nodded. “I am.”
I didn’t see an opening for a kiss and decided not to press my luck. I escorted her to my car that I had cleaned earlier that morning. I wanted to impress her. I wanted to prove to her that while I may not be rich, I could still keep nice things.
“Where are we going? Your message was cryptic.”
“Dinner first, simple and casual, and then to the ballet,” I said, waiting to judge her reaction.
“The ballet?” she asked.
I nodded. “Is that okay? Do you hate ballet? If you do, we don’t have to go.”
She smiled. “I’ve never been to the ballet, so I don’t know if I like it. I suppose you go to these things all the time?”
“I’ve been to a couple,” I told her honestly. When I was younger, my parents dragged me along whether I liked it or not.
We arrived at the restaurant and were quickly seated. It wasn’t one of the hot spots, which was why I had chosen it—just in case I got up the nerve to tell her over dinner, I didn’t want a big crowd to witness my shame.
“How’ve you been?” I asked, trying to spark a conversation.
“Good. You?”
I smiled. “Good. Thank you for agreeing to come to dinner. I know you told me to wait. I waited as long as I could.”
She wasn’t moved by my sweet talk. “It’s been a busy week,” she murmured, not looking directly at me.
“I see. Lots of parties and events at the venue?”
She shrugged. “Just the normal.”
She seemed reserved. I wondered if she had found out my secret. Maybe she’d seen me at the shop, unbeknownst to me, and she was waiting for me to tell her. The guilt was killing me, slowly eating away at me and occupying my thoughts. Last time we had dinner, the conversation had been much easier. She seemed very opposed to talking at all.
“I’ve thought a lot about you,” I said.
She offered a small smile. “You don’t even know me.”
“Which is probably why I’ve been thinking about you. I want to know you. I want to know what you like and don’t like. I know you want to go on a whale-watching cruise, and I know you’re not overly fond of wine.”
“How do you know that?”
I laughed. “Because I saw the look on your face when we were trying to drink that stuff at dinner.”
She offered a real smile then. “You’re right. I prefer cocktails or even beer. Wine just leaves a funky taste in my mouth and a headache in the morning.”
“I will remember that,” I said.
We finished our dinner without much conversation at all. The tension was thick. I was beginning to wonder if what I had felt on that first date was real at all. She might not be who I thought. She may not be interested in me, rich or poor.
I decided to see it through to the bitter end. If I ended up not liking her by the end of the night, I wouldn’t have to say shit to her about my financial status and could save myself a lot of humiliation.
With my hand on the small of her back, I escorted her down the aisle to the front row of the venue where
the ballet was taking place. We took our seats, dead center in front of the stage, and waited in silence.
I vowed to tell her once the ballet was over. I couldn’t deal with the strain any longer.
The lights dimmed, and the stage lights came on. I found myself mesmerized not by the dancers, but by Eliana’s reaction to the dancing. At one point, she reached for my hand. I held it, feeling the emotion through her.
I couldn’t say I really understood what was happening, but she did. She was absolutely fully engaged with what was happening on the stage. When the lights came up, she let out a long sigh. “Wow,” she said, shaking her head.
“Is that a good wow?” I asked with a laugh.
“Very good wow. I don’t know if it was because we were so close and I could practically feel their emotions from where we sat or if it was that good, but it was amazing. I’m sold. I want to watch more ballet.” She nodded firmly.
I smiled. “I hope more come to town so I can take you.”
In the back of my mind, I wondered how much the seats cost and if any regular old Joe like myself could buy them. I was going to find out.
We walked to my car. I knew I only had one chance to tell her. I decided I would walk her to her door and then drop my little bombshell on her then. Truthfully, I was being a bit of a coward. I wanted to tell her and then be able to run away.
I drove back to her place, still feeling the tension between us. I felt like a dead man walking as we slowly strolled to her door. I stopped in front of the door, watching her unlock it before she turned to face me.
“Eliana,” I started, my throat feeling a little raw.
She looked at me as if she were seeing me for the first time. Before I knew what the woman was about, she grabbed my shirt front in one small fist and yanked me forward. Her mouth slammed against mine. My eyes widened with shock before snapping shut and giving into the woman’s demands.
Her tongue pushed inside my mouth, shocking me all over again, but the primal instinct was awakened. I didn’t have to think about what to do or how to handle the woman. I reached around her, grabbing her ass with both hands and pulling her toward my lower body.
I took over the kiss, pushing my tongue into her mouth, sparking a duel right there on her doorstep. I felt her reach backward, and soon, the door was pushed open.
I backed her inside, not stopping until the wall was behind her. With one leg, I kicked out, slamming the door closed without ever pulling my mouth away from hers. I devoured her like a man that had been starving for weeks. I couldn’t get enough of her. She tasted sweet and spicy and oh so damn good. I couldn’t get enough.
“I want you,” I growled, feeling feral, knowing I was risking her slapping me and kicking me out.
“Do it!” she ordered.
My worries were quickly nixed. I reached for the sheer shawl, ripped it off her shoulders, and dropped it on the floor before tackling the zipper on her dress. I wasn’t exactly the most experienced lover, but I damn well knew my way around a woman’s body and how to get to said body in a hurry.
Some things were never forgotten. It was just like riding a bike.
Chapter 20
Eliana
I didn’t stop to let myself think about what I was doing. I wanted him something fierce, and I was damn well going to have him. I’d deal with the consequences later. After the dream I’d had about him, it was all I could think about.
So far, the real thing was better than the dream.
“Shirt,” I gasped when my dress hit the floor, leaving me standing in the sexy, matching black thong and bra I had put on just in case I followed through with my desires to know him at least once before I kicked him to the curb.
“Going,” he mumbled, his mouth against mine while he struggled to get his shirt off.
It wasn’t happening fast enough. I could feel his raging need that matched my own. “Hurry,” I whispered.
“Fuck it.” He stepped back and ripped the shirt open, sending the remaining stubborn buttons flying around the small space.
I reached for his pants, trying to get the button undone, only to have him swat my hands away. His dark eyes looked dangerous, not that soulful stare I had come to know. I leaned against the wall, my hands at my sides as I panted, watching him push his pants down his extremely muscular legs.
I could feel dampness between my legs as I checked out the man’s body. He was built. He was naturally big, but holy shit, I didn’t realize he’d be so damn solid.
“You’re so big,” I breathed out, staring at him standing tall in nothing but a pair of very tight boxer briefs that hid nothing from the imagination.
He reached down and rubbed a hand over his erection straining through the underwear. “It’ll be okay,” he promised.
I put my hand over his, pushing his out of the way and sliding my hand up and down the length a few times. He was so hard and big. Those two words kept echoing through my brain. I thought of my dream and practically threw myself at him. My arms went around his neck, pulling his face close to mine so I could devour him with all the pent-up need I had been holding since the damn dream.
“Bed,” I groaned against his mouth, needing him inside me and done with the foreplay. I’d been dealing with foreplay for two damn days.
“Show me the way,” he growled.
I pulled away from him, stepping in front to show him into my bedroom. His hand snaked out, grabbing my ass and squeezing hard.
“God damn, I love your ass,” he hissed.
His words excited me to the point that every step I took sent shivers of desire racing up and down my spine. He was hot on my heels as I pushed open my bedroom door to reveal my modest full-sized bed. I had no idea how he was going to fit on it, but I figured we could work something out. I’d have him take me against the wall if that was what it took.
He had other plans. He reached for me, pulled me back, and yanked me against him. My butt nestled against his crotch, and his erection pressed against me. I gasped, moving my hips and grinding against him. I loved that I could turn him on that much.
“Take me,” I whispered, turning my head to look back at him over my shoulder.
“I plan on it,” he said in a low voice. The nice, sweet guy I had originally met was gone. In his place was a much different man. A man who was sexy and hard and wanted me.
He pushed me away from him, unhooking my bra as he spun me around to face him. His mouth was on mine in a flash. My head tilted back, giving way to his tongue to plunge inside. He ground his hips against me. I was so aroused I was afraid I would orgasm before I even got my panties off.
I reached for his underwear, pushing them down his hips.
“Slow down,” he rasped.
“I can’t. Now. I need it now.” I whimpered, not caring that I was practically begging the man to fuck me.
“I’ve got you. Let’s take the edge off.” He slid his hand over my hip before moving it between my legs. “You’re so wet.” I heard a hint of surprise in his voice.
“I said now. I want it. I’m ready now.” I rubbed myself against his hand.
“Lay down on the bed,” he whispered, his mouth hovering above mine.
I took the few steps backward, his hand palming my core, sending heat and fire racing through my body. He gently pushed on my shoulder until I was sitting on the edge of the bed. One hand reached out and caressed my breast while he eagerly stared at the scene.
I gulped, feeling a tiny bit self-conscious about being naked in front of him, but the look of pure desire in his eyes put me at ease. He wasn’t scrutinizing my body and looking at the many flaws I saw when I looked in the mirror. He was hot and hard for me.
He pushed. “Back,” he ordered.
I lay back on the bed, my legs dangling over the side. He reached up and pulled the panties down my legs, tossing them over his shoulder. His hand was between my legs like a heat-seeking missile. I gasped, feeling the heat of his palm covering my opening.
“Oh god,
you have to,” I begged.
He smiled that sexy grin I loved and hated at the same time. “I know. I’m going to take the edge off. I promise.”
One finger slid over my folds, gently parting me and opening me before he pushed it inside. It was all I needed. I closed my eyes, and a low keening sound escaped my lips as my body gave into the pleasure he was giving me, with his finger sliding in and out of my slick passage. I arched and moaned as he took the edge off. Hell, he sheered the edge.
“Better?” he asked, his finger still pushed inside me as he looked down at me from above.
I nodded. “Yes.”
“Good, because now I want to fuck you slow and easy. I want to savor you.” His gaze locked on mine. I felt my juices flowing again. He smiled, pushing the finger in deeper. “There you go. More?”
I shook my head. “No. No more.” I was gasping, still arching and spasming and very obviously wanting more. My body betrayed me, revealing my desire despite my best efforts to calm the hell down.
“Baby, I can feel you squeezing my finger. How about this?” He pulled the finger out and replaced it with a second one.
I whimpered, my head rolling back and forth on the bed. “Yes, I want you,” I said, quickly changing my tune and giving into what I truly wanted.
He worked the fingers inside me, stretching me and taking me to the edge before he pulled out and stripped off his underwear.
Holy mother of all the gods. I couldn’t have begun to imagine men came in that size. My eyes went wide.
“Shh, I’ll go slow,” he promised.
I nodded, excited and nervous at the same time. I was throbbing and felt swollen between my legs. I wasn’t all that sure he would fit, but I was very much looking forward to trying.
I spread my legs wider, pushing myself higher on the bed to make room for him. He chased me with that giant cock jutting forward. I licked my lips and watched with anticipation as he guided himself to my entrance.
Pretending to be Rich Page 12
