He pushed in, or rather, he attempted to push inside. My eyes widened as I looked up at him with real worry it wasn’t going to fit. My lack of experience didn’t give me much to fall back on. I had to trust him.
He pushed against me again, the tip finally sliding in. My eyes dropped closed as he slid in a little more.
“Oh god,” I moaned, feeling the man stretching and pushing deeper and deeper inside my body.
The nerves still raw from the earlier orgasm greedily hugged his cock, sending shivers of desire through my body. I couldn’t move. I lay perfectly still, taking him inside my body a little at a time, wondering if I was at my max capacity and if I would be able to take him all.
“There,” he rasped. “Are you okay?”
I opened my eyes, feeling dazed and confused and drunk with passion. “Mmm, so okay,” I told him, reaching up to run my hand over one of his biceps.
He let go of the breath he’d been holding. “I’m sorry.”
“For?”
“I can’t wait much longer,” he rasped, sounding absolutely pained. “You’re squeezing me, and I’m barely hanging on here.”
I smiled, feeling completely lost in the moment. “Okay.”
He began to slide in and out, the movements smooth and steady. I could see the restraint he was trying to hold on to. “Fuck,” he muttered, his lips still pursed together.
I didn’t know how he could do it, but I could not wield that steel of self-control. I exploded around him, jackknifing my body and shifting his cock inside me to take him impossibly deeper. He shouted over and over, pumping into me as he found his release.
When he collapsed beside me, struggling to catch his breath, guilt and regret slammed into me. I had given into my basest needs, and it had been amazing. Hell, who was I kidding? It had been off-the-charts spectacular.
But I couldn’t do it. Not again. I had allowed myself one short recess from my troubles, and now it was time to step back into reality.
His hand reached up and caressed my breast before he leaned over to give me a kiss on the cheek. I turned to look at him, a cheesy smile on his face.
“You have to go,” I said.
His eyes opened. “What?”
“You can’t stay. You have to go.”
“Is everything okay?” he asked.
I didn’t want to make him feel bad. He had done nothing wrong. It was all me. I had thrown myself at him. “Everything is fine. I had a really good time tonight, but I don’t do sleepovers.”
He nodded. “I see.”
“Cade, really. I had a great time tonight. The ballet was perfect. Thank you for taking me.” I tried to soften the blow of being kicked out of my bed three minutes after he had given me the best orgasm of my life.
“Okay,” he said, getting up off the bed and finding his underwear.
I watched as he walked out of the room, feeling terribly guilty for kicking him out but knowing it was for the best. I could not sleep with him in the real sense. That would blur the lines and make things complicated.
I didn’t want to lead him on. We weren’t dating. We weren’t a couple.
He came back in just after I had pulled on my panties and dug out a shirt to put on.
“Can I call you later?” he asked hesitantly.
I smiled. “Sure, shoot me a text. I have a busy week at work, but I’ll text when I can.” I kept it noncommittal.
He nodded. “All right. I’m sorry if you feel like I pushed you into something.” He sounded very down.
I stepped toward him and gave him a quick kiss on the lips. “You didn’t push me at all.”
He winked. “I did once or twice,” he said before waggling his eyebrows.
I giggled and pushed him out of my room. “Goodnight, Cade.”
I followed behind him and locked the door after he left. I buried my face in my hands, shaking my head. What the hell had I done? That was so unlike me.
The moment he had picked me up that evening, I knew I wanted him. I had almost pulled him in the door and jumped him before we ever got to our date. I was glad I hadn’t. The ballet had been fun.
But not as fun as everything after.
Chapter 21
Cade
I jogged down the steps leading to the public beach where I was supposed to be meeting Maceo. He made it clear he wasn’t interested in running, but he wanted to know what the surfing thing was all about.
I wasn’t a great surfer. I had only recently been able to actually stand on the damn board and ride a tiny wave. I wasn’t going to be doing any tricks or trying to catch the big one. I would die. But I liked the exercise, and the beaches were a lot less crowded with the tourist season waning.
I scanned the beach and found Maceo talking to a couple of women with two boards on either side of him. I didn’t actually own a surfboard. It was a silly expense for a sport I doubted I would ever actually get into. I was not that coordinated and didn’t have the body of a surfer.
I waved, walking across the sand toward them.
“Hey,” he said, giving me a look that said save him from the clutches of these women.
“I’m set up down there,” I said, pointing vaguely down the beach. “We need to get going before someone takes my stuff.”
“It was nice to meet you ladies,” Maceo said with a friendly smile before grabbing one of the boards and walking away.
I awkwardly grabbed the other and quickly caught up with him. “What was that about?”
“Two women who happened to be in the surf shop when I pulled out my wallet,” he said, shaking his head. “That black plastic is like a magnet for single women looking for a good time—on me.”
“Oh, sorry.”
“Don’t be,” he said. “You showed up just in the nick of time. I didn’t want to be a dick.”
“Glad I could save the day,” I said with a laugh.
We walked down the beach until we found a suitable place that was away from the small crowds. We were skipping the wetsuits and just doing a little paddling mostly. We walked into the water, carrying our boards under our arms like we knew what the hell we were doing and flopped them in the water before carefully climbing on and straddling them.
“There is no way in hell I’m standing on this thing,” Maceo said with a laugh.
“I’m not so great at it either. We look cool though, like we’re waiting for the waves.” I used my hands to paddle out a little farther.
Finally, he asked the question I knew he’d been dying to ask. “How did it go with Eliana?”
“I didn’t tell her about my financial standing, if that’s what you’re asking,” I said, feeling a little guilty.
He looked at me and shook his head. “Man, you’re digging yourself in deep.”
“I planned on telling her. I really did. I walked her to her door, and let’s just say, talking about my bank account was the last thing on my mind when she kissed me. And she definitely kissed me.” I didn’t tell him the rest, but I assumed he could fill in the blanks.
Maceo chuckled. “Sleeping with a woman is easy, but finding a girl you can be honest with and a girl that will be honest with you is tough business. There are very few of those women out there.”
He sounded like he was talking from experience.
“I know, I know, and I did mean to tell her, but shit just happened so fast. Afterwards, she practically pushed me out the door.”
He laughed. “I know a lot of guys who would have been thrilled with that.”
“Not me. I’m not that kind of guy.”
“I believe you,” he said. “You have to tell her now. You crossed a line, and I have a feeling it’s going to weigh heavy on you if you don’t tell her soon.”
He was right. It had been on my mind all night. “I will. She’s special.”
“She sounds like it,” he said, his voice holding a hint of melancholy. It was that same melancholy I often sensed from him.
“Did you have a woman that you love and lost
because of a lie?” I asked him directly.
We were both sitting on our boards, bobbing up and down with the soft waves rocking them. He stared out at the horizon, that same look in his eyes. “I lost a woman, but it wasn’t because of a lie.”
“I see.”
He turned to look at me, his blue eyes clouded with sadness, but there was a small smile on his lips. “Carmen. She was a beautiful woman. Her family was in Athens while her family worked. They were from Spain but living in the country for a couple of years when we met. I was just getting started in my business and hadn’t made it big, but I was doing all right. Carmen had just turned eighteen. I was twenty-two. At first, her parents didn’t approve of us being together. I knew she was young, but there was something so genuine about her. She didn’t care that I was a rising star in the financial world. She was head over heels in love with me, and I with her.”
I nodded, almost afraid to hear how she screwed him over. “I see.”
“Things were great. After a year of dating, I knew she was the one. I proposed, and she accepted. Her parents were thrilled. Carmen and her mother dove into the wedding planning. By then, I was making a great deal of money and wanted to give Carmen the wedding of her dreams. She had seen a dress she wanted in a magazine. I tracked down the designer in London. I hired a private jet for Carmen and her mother. It was a surprise for Carmen. Her mother knew. They were going on a girls’ trip to take a break from the wedding planning.”
He stopped talking and turned to look back out at the sea. I waited, knowing the crucial part of the story was still to come. After a minute or so, he turned back to look at me.
“And they didn’t come back. The plane went down off the west coast of Italy. It was never recovered.”
My mouth fell open. I felt like I had been the one to experience the loss. I leaned back, as if I could distance myself from him and his horrible heartache. I muttered the only words I could think of. “I’m sorry.”
“It was a long time ago,” he said. “I have never found another woman like Carmen. I think you get one in a lifetime. If this girl is your one, don’t fuck it up.”
I nodded. “I understand.”
“I’m serious. You’re into her. I get that. You’re really into her. Do something to keep her. Don’t let this fester for too long. If she dumps you because you don’t have money, you don’t need her.”
“You’ve been dumped because of the money thing?” I asked.
He smirked. “Money hasn’t been an issue for me for a long time, but I’ve been burned by women who only wanted me for my money. I was too stupid to see it until it was too late. After Carmen, I kept looking for someone to fill that empty place in my life. I tried to find someone that would fill her shoes. I didn’t. I stopped looking. She was my one.”
“Ouch. I can’t believe that. There has to be someone else out there. You just haven’t found her yet. The right woman will come along. Maybe you need some more time to get over Carmen.”
He scoffed. “I’ll never get over Carmen. I’m trying to move on, but honestly, it’s easier said than done.”
I nodded. “I understand. I don’t have personal experience, but I could understand not being ready. I really am sorry you’re struggling in the love department.”
He laughed. “Do not feel sorry for me. I’m a wealthy man who has everything he could possibly want in the world. I live in a beautiful country, and I’m surrounded by natural beauty. I live a good life.”
I didn’t say it, but I realized he did live a good life, but it was a lonely life. He was ridiculously lonely, which was why he’d reached out to me. He’d been in need of a true friend. I hoped I could fill that role for him.
“Want to try to get up on these things?” I asked him with a grin.
He looked at me and groaned. “I think I’m too pretty to faceplant into the ocean.”
I shrugged a shoulder. “You won’t be pretty if you do it often enough.”
“I suppose we’ll give the people on the beach a good show,” he said with a laugh.
“I do like to make people laugh. Come on.” I lay on my stomach on the board and paddled out into the deeper water like I had watched Rand do so many times.
Rand had made it look easy. I always felt like a jellyfish whenever I tried to get to my feet. My legs turned into wet noodles, and my arms flailed wildly beside me before I ended up in the water. I had to try, though. I was going to keep trying until I figured it out.
“Ready?” I asked, watching a wave come in.
“No,” he replied nervously.
It was the blind leading the blind. “Here goes nothing!” I shouted, getting up on shaking legs, my arms out at my sides as I wobbled on the board.
I glanced over and saw Maceo doing the same thing. We both managed to stay upright for about five seconds before the wave toppled us off our boards and down into the water.
I tasted sand in my mouth as I pushed myself up to the surface. My head popped up, and I spit out the water that had gotten in my mouth. I turned left and right, looking for Maceo. He surfaced a second later, spitting and sputtering and shaking his head, spraying water around him.
“That was awful!” he shouted.
I burst into laughter. It had been awful but in the best way. “Ready to try again?”
He groaned. “Are you trying to kill me?”
I laughed, climbing on my board. “This is fun.”
“You have a very strange idea of fun.”
We tried the surfing thing for a good hour before we both finally gave in to gravity and our horrible coordination skills and dragged our bedraggled asses back to the shore. There were a few women sunbathing on the beach. I could feel them staring at us and trying not to laugh. Maceo and I walked proudly, our heads held high as we strutted down the beach like world-class surfers.
“Thanks for a good time,” I told Maceo as we both walked back up to the parking lot.
“Again, your idea of a good time is very strange,” he said. “I think you might secretly be a sadist.”
“Shh, don’t tell,” I joked.
We parted ways, both of us heading for our cars. I grabbed my towel and shoes from the back seat and quickly dried off before heading home. I mulled over everything Maceo had said.
I knew he was right. If Eliana was truly the woman I was supposed to be with, she would understand and accept my lack of wealth. If she was only interested in me for the money I didn’t have, I didn’t want to be with her.
Well, that wasn’t entirely true, but I did not want to be with a shallow woman.
I knew there was a good chance she might end up being okay with my financial status and end up dumping me because I had lied about it. It was a tricky situation, but I had walked myself right into it and had no one to blame but myself.
Now, it was time to begin the extrication from the situation and pray I came out alive with my heart intact.
Chapter 22
Eliana
Lola was waiting at a small table outside one of our favorite coffee places. She had on big dark sunglasses and looked the part of a beautiful Hollywood celebrity trying to be incognito. Her dark hair was hanging loose around her shoulders, and she was wearing a casual yet completely stylish pair of jeans, heels, and a shoulder-less shirt.
She made sexy look easy.
I took a seat at the table and ordered an espresso, needing a nice quick dose of caffeine. “You look very relaxed.”
She smiled. “I’m soaking in the sun.”
“I can see that. Late night?”
She pushed up her sunglasses and looked at me. Her eyes were clear, and there weren’t any dark circles. “I slept for almost twelve hours. I feel recharged.”
I laughed. “Damn. You must have needed the sleep.”
“I did. Now, enough stalling. Tell me about the date. You dodged my calls and texts yesterday. What happened? Did you dump him?”
“No, I didn’t dump him,” I said. “I can’t dump what I don’t hav
e.”
“What did you do? Where did you go?”
It was the beginning of the inquisition that I knew would lead to me telling her what had happened. I was still in a bit of disbelief I had let things get that far. It had definitely not been my intention. “We had dinner, went to the ballet and then back to my place, and had sex.”
She paused, the cup halfway to her mouth. “You had sex. With Cade?”
I rolled my eyes. “No, another dude I picked up at the ballet. Yes, with Cade!”
“I thought you weren’t sure about him?”
“I wasn’t. I’m not. It was just, things were kind of a mess in my head, and I needed a minute to escape.”
“Why were things a mess in your head?” Before I could answer, she held up her hand. “Don’t tell me. Your mom stopped by for a visit, which means your mom wanted more money.”
I nodded. “Yep.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.”
“How did your mom stopping by lead you to have sex with Cade?” she asked.
I laughed. “I’m not sure. I had a very vivid, very erotic dream about him a few nights ago. When he walked me to the front door of my apartment, I don’t know what came over me. I kind of jumped him. I wanted to forget about everything else and just have a little fun.”
Her mouth dropped open. “Eliana Floros!” she exclaimed.
I scowled at her. “Don’t go clutching your pearls at me. You’ve done the same thing a hundred times.”
“But I’m me, and you’re you!” she practically shouted.
“I can let loose and have a little fun,” I protested.
She nodded. “Sure, you can, but you never do. I don’t know if I’m ashamed or proud of you.”
“Don’t be either. Just accept it.”
“So, is it a thing? Are you going to keep seeing him?”
I shook my head. “No, I don’t think so.”
“What, why?” she asked, her face twisted in confusion.
“Nothing has changed. I’m not interested in getting into a messy relationship.”
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