“Was it good?” she asked.
“Was what good?”
“The sex!”
I frowned at her, silently scolding her for saying the word so loudly. “Stop.”
“I’m only asking if it was good. Was it worth it?”
I sipped the espresso that had been delivered. I couldn’t stop the smile. “It was absolutely worth it. He’s an amazing man. In. Every. Way.”
Her eyebrows shot up. “Really?” she asked giddily. “Tell me everything. I want to know the dirty details.”
“I am not going to give you the details,” I said with a smile. “Let’s just say he is a generous, very capable lover.”
She clapped her hands. “I’m so happy for you. I think you need to go on that ride again.”
“Maybe. I don’t know. I don’t want him to get the wrong idea about us.”
She shook her head. “You are so hung up on this relationship thing. You need to relax. Maybe he isn’t the bad guy you think he is.”
I dismissed the idea. “Nope. I’m not going to get hooked up with a rich guy. I refuse to let it happen. I don’t want him to drop me the second he’s bored with me.”
“You aren’t your mother,” she reminded me.
“I’m not my mother, but the guys are all the same, just a little younger.”
“Let’s go shopping. I can lecture you and shop at the same time.” She got to her feet.
I stood as well. As much as I wanted to believe Cade was different, I had no way to know that for sure. The only way to know for sure was when he dumped me on my ass after he was finished with me. I had seen what that looked like too many times when my mother bawled her eyes out after getting thrown away for a younger woman.
“What exactly are we shopping for?” I asked her as we walked down the street lined with shops.
“I need new lingerie.”
I groaned. “No. I don’t want to have that image of you in my head.”
“It’s not a big deal. Besides, you might want to pick out something special for your man.”
I rolled my eyes. “He is not my man.”
“But he could be.”
She pushed open the door to a women’s department store. I browsed the racks of clothes that were a little out of my price range. It was going to take a couple weeks for me to build up my extra stash of cash after giving money to my mother and buying the dress.
“I like this one,” I said, pulling a dress from the rack that I thought would look nice on her.
She grabbed it and looked at it before holding it up to me. “I think you should get it.”
“No way. That is too low-cut for me, and I’m not buying today. I’m just browsing.”
She smiled. “This is exactly why it’s nice to have a wealthy boyfriend in your life.”
I cringed. “No way. I would never let him buy me a dress. I have more pride than that.”
“But when these men buy gifts, it’s their way of flattering you,” she said. “It isn’t like they are going to miss the money. It makes them feel good, like they are taking care of you.”
“I get that, but I’m not interested in being taken care of,” I said. “I can take care of myself.”
“Sometimes, it’s nice to be taken care of, to be pampered,” she said, putting the dress back on the rack.
I nodded, wanting to believe that was true. It might be for some women but not me. Being pampered scared me. It terrified me that I was losing my independence, losing who I was.
I didn’t want to be my mother. I didn’t want a man to have control over how much I valued myself. I didn’t want to feel like I wasn’t good enough or that another woman was better than I was and more deserving of the man’s affections. Fuck that. I was not that woman.
“Pick something, and let’s go,” I mumbled.
“Quit pouting,” she said. “I want you to be happy. You know that.”
“I am happy,” I argued.
“Oh yes, I can see by the scowl on your face just how happy you are,” she retorted.
“I’m tired of everyone telling me I need a man to be happy. Why do people always assume that? Why do women need men?”
Lola looked at me and raised an eyebrow. “Well, I suppose you could have a woman if that’s what you wanted.”
“That’s not what I mean. I mean I’m okay being single.”
“But a man can make you feel good, like really good,” she clarified with a wink.
For one very brief moment, I allowed myself to live in the fantasy she was creating. “What if he’s different?” I whispered more to myself than Lola.
She put her hand on my shoulder. “What if he is?”
I took a deep breath. “How about I let myself get involved with him? Then what?”
She shrugged a shoulder. “You don’t look toward the end. You live in the moment. You can’t always assume the worst in everyone. Give him a chance to prove he’s different.”
I wanted to do what she said. God, did I want to, but after years of conditioning, it was like trying to reprogram my brain. It wasn’t going to happen overnight.
“Let’s go check that lingerie store out,” I said, feeling dangerous.
“Yes!” she exclaimed, grabbing my hand and dragging me out of the store.
We headed down a block and into a shop I had never been in before. My eyes nearly popped out of my head as I looked left then right. I looked behind me, wanting to make sure no one saw me. I felt completely naughty.
“Lola, I don’t know about this,” I whispered under my breath.
“Oh, now who’s clutching their pearls?” She laughed, moving around the store like she was very familiar with the layout.
I took a deep breath and let go of my apprehensions. I browsed the various bits and pieces of lingerie. That was all they were—tiny scraps with lace and satin and sometimes leather.
I picked up a one piece, a teddy with a garter belt. It was about the sexiest thing I had ever seen. It wasn’t over-the-top naughty. It was a little flirty and a lot pretty. I felt like I would feel sexy in it. I checked the tag and flinched.
“Do it,” Lola said, appearing by my side with a couple outfits of her own.
“It’s expensive.”
“You only live once,” she said. “If this thing with Cade is short lived, enjoy every minute of it. If he dumps you, at least you will have had fun. You can’t be afraid to live.”
I looked at the tag again. “I don’t know.”
“You’re a chickenshit,” she said, shaking her head. “You’re right. Put it back. Live a lonely, sexless life.”
“Stop it. I didn’t say that.”
“No pain, no gain,” she said. “Or in your case, no pain, no sex or fun or just enjoying living in general.”
I squeezed my eyes shut. “Dammit. You are way too good at peer pressure.”
She winked. “I try. Now, are you buying that or not?”
“I’m going to be eating bread for a week,” I said.
“No bread,” she said with a laugh. “Too many carbs and that outfit won’t fit. Tea. Lots of tea.”
“You’re so helpful,” I said, taking the damn thing up to the counter to pay for it. It seemed a little ridiculous that less than a yard of lace could cost that much.
“Thanks for shopping with me,” she said once we had exhausted all the stores on the block. “I’ll see you at work tomorrow.”
“I’ll be the woman starving,” I shot back.
“It’s going to be worth it. Trust me in this. It’s the one area I have some serious experience in.” She laughed.
I walked home, trying not to feel guilty about splurging again. Cade might be rich, but I certainly wasn’t. I couldn’t keep up with him.
I had to figure out how to accept him for who he was and make sure he understood that I could not afford his lifestyle. I couldn’t afford new dresses for the ballet or a fancy restaurant.
He had to take me for who I was and be okay with it or find a woman who could dress well
enough to complement him and not embarrass him.
I was beginning to believe my mother’s statement that a person couldn’t be happy without money.
Chapter 23
Cade
It was time. I couldn’t put it off anymore. I had to tell her.
I had sent her a couple texts, hoping to take her out for dinner and confess who I was. She’d been busy with work tonight. Part of me wanted to use it as an excuse to back out again, but I couldn’t keep putting it off.
It was eating at me. The guilt was making me crazy. I had to tell her. I knew what I was risking, but it had to be done.
After talking with Maceo and then getting the never-ending lecture from Kacia all day, I knew what had to be done. I had been trying to find a way out. A way for me to keep seeing her without ever telling her the truth. The only way that was going to happen was me getting really rich overnight.
The odds of that happening were never to absolutely not in a million years. The idea of running away and changing my name and starting over did float through my mind.
It wasn’t just the fear of losing her that was keeping me from telling her the truth. The humiliation of having to confess I was just a dude that owned a gelato shop with no money who lied was the kicker.
Even thinking about the situation made me look like a giant loser. What kind of guy lied about being wealthy to land a woman? Oh, the loser kind. The kind that couldn’t get a woman on his own steam and had to make up a bunch of bullshit.
I wasn’t a loser—not entirely. The truth will set you free, Kacia had repeated. In my mind, the truth was going to set me free all right, but free meant alone.
I had called the event center earlier, pretending to want the venue for the night for a last-minute party. I was told there was a gathering. I pressed further and learned it was going to be over fairly early. I had decided to sit in the parking lot and wait for her, just like I had before. It seemed to be the only sure way to actually see her. She wasn’t exactly easy to get a date with. It made me feel a little stalker-like, but the woman had an aversion to committing to something as simple as grabbing coffee.
I waited for over an hour, earning quite a few looks from people passing by. I expected the police to show up any minute and run me off for loitering. I had already practiced my story that I was waiting for my girlfriend to get off work so I could give her a ride home.
I paced around the car, talking to myself and testing the words on my lips that I would say to her. They were bitter and left a sour feeling in my stomach. I figured if I recited them enough times, it would be easier to say when it came time. It would be as simple as saying hello or thank you.
I heard male voices and spun around. A couple waiters were walking out from the side entrance. I hoped she wouldn’t be far behind them. I quickly hopped into the driver’s seat, wanting to look casual and cool, like I just happened to be driving by—in the parking lot.
“Idiot. She’ll never believe that. Go with what works.”
I got out of the car and leaned against the hood. I took on a pose with my ankles crossed and my hands in my pockets, hoping to appear casual and maybe a little sexy. I probably looked like a goofy dipshit.
I saw her silhouette and stood up straight. I saw when she saw me. A smile spread across her face, which I took as a good sign.
I waved. “Hi.”
“Is this going to be a habit?” she asked, coming to a stop in front of me.
I smirked. “I don’t know. Maybe. I wanted to see you again. You’re a hard woman to track down.”
I reached for her, hoping she didn’t slap my hands away, and pulled her close to me. She let me hug her, which I took as a green light to give her a quick kiss as well.
She looked up at me, my arms wrapped around her waist. God damn, she was pretty. How in the hell was I ever going to just walk away from her if she told me she never wanted to see me again?
“I told you I had to work,” she said.
“You did, but I still wanted to see you.”
She laughed softly. “Well, here you are, seeing me.”
I loved the sarcasm. She seemed different, more relaxed and less stiff. I couldn’t believe I was going to risk screwing it all up with the pesky little truth. “I’m seeing you, and damn, do I like what I see.”
She giggled. “Do you now?”
“I do. I wouldn’t mind seeing a little more of you in the backseat of my car.” I ridiculously bounced my eyebrows and grinned like a fool.
“Oh, really?” she teased. “You want me to get naked in the backseat of your car in a lighted parking lot with my coworkers walking by?”
I shrugged a shoulder. “You don’t have to be all the way naked. I could manage with just parts of you naked.”
“You’re so bad!”
“I didn’t think it was so bad the other night,” I whispered close to her ear.
“Stop,” she breathed out the word with zero conviction.
I felt her shiver and knew I had gotten to her. I wasn’t actually intending to have sex with her, but now that the flirting had turned in that direction, it was certainly a nice idea.
I quickly stopped that train of thought. No sex. Not until I told her the truth.
“Do you have plans?” I asked.
“Right now?” she asked with surprise.
“Not that,” I teased, kissing the tip of her nose.
“Oh, you want to do something right now though?” she asked with confusion and what I was going to tell myself was a little tiny bit of disappointment at my rejection of the sex idea. If she only knew just how badly I would have liked to skip the other stuff and head right to the sex stuff.
I nodded. “Yes, right now. I need to tell you something, and I want to do it in person.”
She looked skeptical. “You’re here. What is it?”
“Can I take you somewhere to talk?”
“Cade, what’s going on?” she asked.
“I want to talk to you, please? Nothing creepy, just talk.”
She sighed. “Okay.”
“Thank you.” I grinned, walked around to the passenger side, and opened the door. “Please.”
She got in the car. I could tell she was nervous. I should have come up with a better reason to get her in the car. I had freaked her out, which was definitely not my intention. I was dealing with my own very nervous stomach. I couldn’t believe I was about to implode what might be my one chance at love.
“You going to tell me where we are going?” she asked again.
“Not yet. We’re almost there.”
A few minutes later, I pulled to a stop in front of my shop.
She looked over at me. “Here?”
I nodded before getting out of the car and going around to open her door. She looked up and down the street as if she wasn’t sure which store we were going to. I pulled my keys out of my pocket and unlocked the door.
“Come in, please,” I said, not bothering to turn on the main lights. The security light provided enough illumination for us to see.
“Here?” she asked.
“Yes.”
“Why do you have a key to this place? I’ve been here. They sell gelato.”
I nodded and smiled. “Yes, they do. It’s my shop.”
She scoffed. “Of course, it is. You don’t have to flaunt all of your investments. Is this going to be a tour around the city so you can show me everything you own?” She sounded irritable.
I smiled at her. “It’s gelato.”
“I know.”
“Have you ever had gelato?” I asked, knowing damn well she had.
“Yes, actually, I have,” she said haughtily.
“Would you like a scoop?” I asked her, flipping on the light behind the counter, illuminating the frozen display case.
I could see she wasn’t comfortable. “I guess. Chocolate please.”
I smiled and reached for a clean scoop and a bowl. I dished up two servings of chocolate and hit the lights, not wantin
g anyone to think we were open. I carried the gelato to a table in a back corner, the same table I often sat at when I needed to do paperwork but didn’t feel like being stuck in my cramped office.
“How was work tonight?” I asked her, very obviously stalling for time.
She shrugged. “Slow. It was just a small business gathering. They didn’t have dinner, just cocktails and appetizers.”
I nodded, reading between the lines. “Which means few, if any, tips.”
She giggled softly, licking her spoon. “Exactly. It’s okay. I don’t mind a slow night.”
“Does the event center stay pretty booked?”
“It gets slow around early fall and then picks up just before December with all of the holiday parties. Then slow again.”
“I see,” I said, running out of things to talk about.
There was a massive elephant in the room, and it wasn’t going away until I said the words. Then, said elephant might turn into a charging bull in the form of a very angry Eliana. I had no idea how it was going to go. I was nervous as hell and terrified she was going to kick me to the curb, with her footprint square in the middle of my back.
The thought of not seeing her again or hanging out and eating gelato with her made me sick to my stomach. I had been mulling over the words all day, trying to find the best way to tell her my reality. I was putting a lot of faith in Kacia’s evaluation of who she thought Eliana truly was. That was what I was basing my future on, which terrified me. Kacia was young and had no real experience.
I was on the verge of backing out when Eliana looked at me. “What’s going on? You brought me here for something.”
“I did,” I said.
She raised her eyebrows. “And?”
“And I need to tell you the truth about something.”
She nodded. I could see the dread on her face and even a flash of anger in her eyes. “Out with it. I’m not interested in dramatic suspense.”
I grimaced. “I don’t know how you’re going to take it.”
“I’m not going to take it period if you don’t just say it, Cade,” she snapped, irritation obvious.
I took a deep breath, practically seeing my life flash before my eyes. “Can I just say something first?”
Pretending to be Rich Page 14
