by Heidi Swain
‘Is that what he said?’
‘Yes,’ I shot back, ‘and a whole lot more besides. I suppose you’re going to stand there and tell me he’s lying now on top of everything else.’
Jacob chewed his lip and took a deep breath.
‘No,’ he sighed. ‘No. I’m not going to say anything of the sort.’
‘Good,’ I said. ‘I think it best if you just leave us both alone from now on. Go back to being the moody, miserable bugger you were when you moved here. You were better at that.’
*
Not surprisingly, I didn’t catch much sleep the next two nights. I’d gone back to the bothy to help with the elderflower bottling on Sunday and was unsurprised that Jacob had chosen to stay away.
I dragged myself out of bed just after six on Monday morning, and felt a mix of anger and relief when I tripped over Ryan’s trainers as usual. I made my way to the kitchen, the smell of coffee growing stronger with every step.
‘I hope this is all right?’ Ryan asked sheepishly as he pulled out a chair and steered me into it. ‘After all the trouble I seem to have caused, I thought it was the least I could do.’
The table was set for a breakfast that included orange juice, a variety of cereals and a rack of slightly overdone toast.
‘Right.’ I nodded, wondering if I was actually still in one of the strange dreams I’d been having. ‘I didn’t expect you to be up.’
I had been thinking about what Lou had said, about Ryan’s love of lie-ins being a blessing when it came to work and non-college days, because I would know where he was, but he sounded and looked so contrite, wringing the tea towel in his hands and looking hopeful, that I didn’t mind that he had got up extra-early. I didn’t mind at all.
‘And just you remember,’ I told him so he knew that his effort really meant something, ‘Jacob caused far more trouble than you on Saturday, so please stop worrying about it all and certainly don’t dwell on what he said.’
‘Okay,’ said Ryan, pouring us both coffee. ‘You know, I don’t set out to make a mess of things, it just sort of happens.’
‘I think being a teenager is a guarantee of messing some stuff up,’ I told him. ‘I know I did and given the circumstances you’re operating under, I think you’re allowed the occasional slip-up.’
Ryan looked a little more cheerful.
‘Just don’t make a habit of it,’ I quickly added. ‘And we’ll be fine.’
*
Ryan was washing the breakfast dishes when I set off to work.
‘I’ll text you later this morning,’ I told him, ‘to let you know what time my lunch break will be and then you can walk down to meet me. I’m going to ring college to arrange these meetings too, but you can inform them of your change of address.’
‘Okay,’ he agreed. ‘I haven’t got to be in until later this afternoon and then only for an hour.’
‘In that case,’ I said, ‘we’ll grab a sandwich from Blossom’s and you can tell me what you’ve been up to all morning.’
‘It won’t be anything bad,’ he promised.
‘I should think not.’ I smiled, banishing my bad dreams. ‘Not even you could get into mischief first thing on a Monday morning.’
At least I hoped he couldn’t.
‘And if there’s time I’ll introduce you to my friends Lou and Colin,’ I carried on. ‘But that will depend on how busy work is.’
Lou, Colin and I had talked about my brother but they had yet to meet him.
‘They don’t live in the square but they have their own shops along the same street as Greengages.’
‘What sort of shops?’
‘Colin has a second-hand bookshop.’
Ryan feigned a yawn, which I ignored.
‘And Lisa has a retro, vintage place called Back in Time.’
‘Cool.’ He nodded.
Clearly the allure of eighties video games and the like was more appealing than the written word.
‘Right,’ I said. ‘Okay. I’ll see you later.’
‘I suppose I’ve blown it as far as going to the youth centre’s concerned, haven’t I?’ Ryan blurted out.
‘I don’t see why,’ I told him.
‘Because of Jacob. I can hardly go if he’s going to be there. Can I?’
I was still furious with Jacob. The words I’d thrown at him hadn’t purged my temper at all. The youth centre was potentially going to help my brother far more than I could, but now that Ryan had been bawled out by the guy who held the key to the professional support on offer there, I could understand his reluctance to go.
‘Maybe we could go together,’ I suggested. ‘Ask if anyone knows when Jacob is likely to be there, and you can just avoid those times.’
I wasn’t sure how the centre managers would take to knowing that Jacob had had a falling-out with just the sort of kid he was trained to support. Not that I would be telling them, but it wasn’t an ideal situation to find ourselves in.
Ryan looked horrified by my suggestion of going together and when I thought about it I supposed it would look a bit tragic.
‘Actually,’ I said, to save him the embarrassment of finding the words to ditch me, ‘what I meant was, you could head down there on your own; I know you don’t need me holding your hand. You could go when Jacob is at work. That way you definitely won’t run the risk of bumping into him.’
The relief on his face was instantaneous.
‘Perhaps I’ll do that some time this week,’ he said, turning his attention back to the dishes. ‘On one of the days when I don’t have to be in college.’
‘Yeah,’ I said, gathering up my bag and checking I had my phone, ‘that’d be good. Oh,’ I added, ‘I’ll have to lock the front door now and leave you the key for the back otherwise you won’t be able to leave.’
‘Okay, thanks.’
‘And don’t forget to shut the windows.’
Ryan looked at me again and rolled his eyes.
‘I won’t,’ he tutted.
There was no sign of Jacob as I set off but, given everything that had happened, all I felt was relief.
*
Pushing open the door of Greengages was a full-on assault on the senses and as I breathed in the fresh scent of the fruit and vegetables lining the shelves and arranged my new batch of recipe cards along the counter, I realised just how pleased I was to be back at work and how much I had missed the routine, as well as Harry and the customers.
‘What have you got there then?’ Harry asked with a nod to the cards when he came through from the back carrying two steaming mugs of tea. ‘And how’s that brother of yours settling in?’
‘These are for elderflower cordial,’ I explained, showing Harry one of the cards. ‘We had such a great time making the stuff in the community garden,’ I went on, forcing myself not to think about how the day had ended, ‘and there are still so many flowers about that I thought I’d see if anyone else might fancy having a go.’
‘Sounds like a good idea to me.’ He beamed. ‘Now come on, drink this tea and we’ll get on. It would be nice to get some work out of you considering you’ve hardly been here for the last goodness knows how long.’
Fortunately, I knew he was only pulling my leg.
The morning was busy and as my lunch hour drew closer I began to watch the clock. I had texted Ryan to ask him to come over early so I would have a chance to introduce him to Harry before we went down to Blossom’s, but there was still no sign of him.
‘Don’t look so worried,’ said Harry, chuckling. ‘He’ll be here.’
I had told him a bit about Ryan’s first week, but I hadn’t shared the details of the night he had gone out and got drunk, so as far as Harry was concerned my furrowed brow and rolling stomach were completely unnecessary. Thankfully, it turned out that they were.
‘Here he is,’ I said, relief coursing through my entire body as I spotted him through the window and rushed out from behind the counter. ‘What the . . .’
The words died in m
y throat as he pushed open the door and leant inside but didn’t actually come in.
‘What’s your policy on dogs?’ he asked, grinning from ear to ear.
My gaze travelled from his happy face back to my boss.
‘Come in, lad,’ Harry said welcomingly, ‘it’s all quiet so I think we’ll risk it.’
‘Is that . . . ?’ I said, the words trailing off as I realised that it was.
‘I take it you know Gus?’ Ryan asked, still beaming.
I knew him very well, but this perky, bouncy, vocal little chap was a complete stranger.
‘I do know Gus,’ I said, kneeling down to fuss him, ‘but I don’t think this can be him.’
‘Isn’t he great?’ Ryan laughed as the dog looked up at him with what I could only describe as unadulterated adoration.
Gus’s soppy expression reminded me a bit of Tamsin’s. Or should I say Tamsin’s up until the moment Ryan and Jacob had their falling-out. Her loyalties had clearly been torn between her two favourite people.
‘Yes,’ I said, stroking Gus’s silky ears. ‘But how come you’ve got him and what have you been feeding him to make him look so happy?’
Ryan explained that he had left the square early, after locking up at home, to see if he could find either Lou or Colin’s shop before the two of us went for lunch. Evidently, he had found the Reading Room.
‘You didn’t tell me what it was called,’ he said, ‘but I didn’t think there could be that many second-hand bookshops around here so I thought I’d just go in and introduce myself.’
My face must have been a picture.
‘That was all right, wasn’t it?’ Ryan asked. ‘I know you said you might be pushed for time.’
‘Yes,’ I quickly answered, ‘of course.’
I was amazed he had the confidence to do that. I certainly wouldn’t have at his age.
‘I’d only made it as far as the desk at the back where your mate Colin was sitting – looking bored off his tits by the way,’ he added in an aside.
I shook my head but I knew it was an accurate description of what my brother would have seen.
‘When this little fella leapt on me and he hasn’t stopped fussing since.’
I’d never seen Gus so animated. Not even when Colin’s uncle was alive. He’d always been a sedate and somewhat withdrawn little character – Gus, not the uncle – but this chap was indulging in what was more puppy than fully grown pooch behaviour. There was obviously something about my brother that had been responsible for the unexpected transformation.
‘So,’ I asked again as I still hadn’t had a proper answer, ‘how come you’ve got him?’
‘I told Colin who I was, obviously,’ Ryan continued, ‘and asked if he would mind me bringing Gus to have lunch with you. I’m going to take him back before I go to college. That was all right, wasn’t it?’ He frowned. ‘I forgot you said we were going to eat at the bakers.’
‘Don’t worry, lad,’ Harry reassured him, ‘they’ve got tables out the front.’
During lunch, I explained that I had left a message at the college, what Lou had planned for Colin’s shop and a little of Gus’s sad history. Ryan was very keen on the makeover plans but it was Gus who captured his imagination.
‘Well,’ he said wisely, ‘perhaps that was it then.’
‘What?’
‘Perhaps poor little Gus realised that we’re kindred spirits.’
‘In what way?’
‘Well, we’re both grieving, aren’t we?’ he said huskily, scooping the little dog up and lifting his chin as Gus tried to lick him. ‘Perhaps he spotted some of the sadness in me that he feels himself.’
‘Oh, Ryan,’ I said, tears misting my vision. I still felt guilty for not doing more to help after Mum had finally told me what had happened. ‘I’m so sorry.’
‘It’s all right,’ he said, his gaze moving from me to somewhere over my shoulder, ‘it’s fine.’
I hated that word. When someone said they were fine it generally meant anything but; however, a tap on my shoulder denied me the opportunity to say anything further.
‘Hey, you.’
It was Lou.
‘Hey.’ I smiled. Have you shut the shop?’
She was usually so busy that she opted to eat in situ rather than close the place up.
‘I have,’ she said, shuffling into the empty seat between Ryan and me. It had been Gus’s but now he was ensconced on my brother’s lap and being fed wholly unsuitable titbits from his plate. ‘Colin phoned. He said there’d been a miracle and if I wanted to see the person responsible then I better get my butt down to Blossom’s. And here you are,’ she said, beaming, turning her kohl-rimmed eyes on Ryan.
Ryan slurped at the straw of his Coke and began to choke. I’d seen my beautiful friend have this impact before. Not usually on someone as young as Ryan; but a figure like hers, coupled with her ready smile and confidence, never went unnoticed.
‘Hi,’ said Ryan, ducking his head and turning a shade redder, ‘I’m Ryan.’
‘Lou,’ she said, holding out a hand for him to shake, but Gus began to enthusiastically lick it before he had the chance to reach for it. ‘Crikey,’ she said laughingly, ‘it really is a miracle!’
*
After lunch Ryan went to check out Back in Time with Lou and Gus, and I went back to work. It was obvious that my brother had been a hit with both my friends, which, given Lou’s initial misgivings about me inviting him to stay, was a relief.
‘He’s a lovely lad,’ said Harry, when Ryan messaged at five to say that he’d meet me at the Reading Room and we’d walk home together.
‘Thanks,’ I said, feeling proud. ‘He’s a good kid.’
‘I’ve got a job,’ Ryan exclaimed the second I arrived at Colin’s.
‘Only a temporary one,’ said Colin, ‘but it’s his if he wants it.’
I was thrown. Colin’s lack of customers and footfall certainly didn’t justify the services of an assistant and, given Ryan’s response that morning when I’d told him the shop sold second-hand books, I couldn’t imagine he’d have the wherewithal to shift any more titles than Colin.
‘Isn’t that brilliant?’ Ryan beamed.
At least I couldn’t moan about his work ethic – he was certainly keen to get stuck into whatever it was that Colin had in mind.
‘I’m going to be helping out with the makeover. Lou says I can do the donkey work while Colin sorts the stock and she faffs about with the finishing touches.’
I couldn’t help but laugh at the thought of how Lou would react if she heard Ryan describing her very honed and highly skilled shop-dressing services as ‘faffing about’.
‘I’m going to be pulling the bookcases apart,’ Ryan went on, ‘and sanding and painting them before repositioning them. The place could do with an update, don’t you think? No offence,’ he quickly added.
‘None taken,’ said Colin, pushing his glasses back up his nose. ‘I can’t wait to get on with it but until today—’
‘Fortunately for me,’ Ryan cut in.
‘. . . I haven’t been able to find anyone willing to help out,’ Colin carried on. ‘I want it all to happen as quickly as possible once I make a start and,’ he looked over to where Ryan was now rolling about with a panting Gus, ‘your brother has energy in abundance, Poppy.’
‘Not to mention the skills,’ Ryan added. ‘Thanks to Dad, I can do this sort of thing standing on my head.’
‘Brilliant,’ I said, smiling, because it was.
This was just the sort of project to keep my brother mentally and physically occupied when he wasn’t hitting the books. I’d read somewhere that it was called ‘thinkering’.
‘This’ll show Jacob,’ I said in an aside to Ryan, ‘won’t it?’
‘What’s wrong with Jacob?’ Colin frowned.
‘We’ll tell you later, won’t we, Ryan?’ I said, but Ryan didn’t answer.
He’d turned an interesting shade of red and gone back to playing with Gus.<
br />
Chapter 16
The rest of the week passed without incident and settled into a satisfactory routine that saw Ryan attending all his lectures as well as making a start on Colin’s shop makeover. It wasn’t for want of trying, but I still hadn’t heard anything back from the college. I was beginning to wonder if the problem was as bad as Mum had made out. By Friday afternoon, I was almost back to my former chilled self. Almost.
‘You’re early,’ I said as my brother appeared in the shop a little after twelve. ‘What’s up?’ I frowned when he didn’t answer. ‘What’s going on?’ I persisted.
Even Gus, usually so excitable and full of high-energy bounce these days, was looking a little apprehensive as he sat at my brother’s side. I hoped Ryan hadn’t missed an assignment deadline or sold one of Colin’s precious first editions for the price of a car boot bargain.
‘I’ve done something,’ Ryan said, biting his lip, ‘bit of a spur-of-the-moment thing really, and I’m not sure I should have.’
Oh God, he had. He’d practically given away one of Colin’s treasured tomes.
‘Well, out with it, lad,’ said Harry. ‘What have you done? I can’t imagine it’s anything too terrible.’
I could. My brain was encouraging me to imagine it was something very terrible indeed.
‘What have you got there?’ I asked.
Ryan looked down at his hand.
‘The keys to the Reading Room,’ he said huskily.
‘Have you locked your boss in or out?’ Harry chuckled.
‘Neither.’ Ryan swallowed, looking deadly serious.
‘Whatever’s happened?’ I asked again.
Seeing his unchanged expression, I was really beginning to worry.
‘Colin had a phone call,’ he explained, sounding choked. ‘About his dad. He’s had a stroke or something and his sister asked him to go back home straight away.’
‘Oh, my goodness,’ I gasped. ‘Poor Colin.’
‘He’s locked up the shop and has asked me to take the keys to Lou,’ Ryan carried on. ‘That’s where I’m heading now.’
