Suzy Spitfire Kills Everybody

by Joe Canzano

  This was one of the downtown domes. It was a wide, raucous area filled with rollicking pubs, restaurants, and gambling houses. It was normally lit up like a fountain of fireworks but now it was all snuffed out. The dome high above that displayed an artificial version of an Earthly sky was completely black.

  The street was brimming with silhouettes and wobbling blips of light. Suzy grabbed Ricardo’s hand. They had to get free of the cops and then find a pub called The Big Mistake because that was where Aiko had stashed the AI. She was pretty sure they were close to it.

  As they fumbled down the street, Suzy caught pieces of conversation. These power failures had been happening frequently, and different theories were being tossed around. Then the lights came back on.

  The “sky” above displayed a view of early evening, and it looked as real as any sky Suzy had ever seen. The grimy streets came alive with people, cars, and blinking, multi-colored signs. The city blocks stretched on and on, and no one would ever guess the scene was part of a shadowy world drifting through space. Also, no one would ever be without a bottle of beer; there were too many bars on this street.

  But today Suzy didn’t want a shot of whiskey. Instead, she ran down an alley with Ricardo close behind. The ground was wet and slippery, probably from a plumbing problem, and then it was just dry and dirty. She got to a cross street and ran down another alley.

  “Do you know where you’re going?” Ricardo said.

  “Yeah—away from the cops. As usual.”

  Five blocks later, they were in a neighborhood Suzy knew was called the Bone Yard. There was garbage here, and graffiti, and lots of people with missing teeth. There were needles and pills and guys asleep in doorways. It looked like some of the less exclusive neighborhoods back in Diego Tijuana. Suzy glanced at the scenery and shook her head. As people moved to faraway places, they brought their bullshit with them.

  Suzy wondered about surveillance cameras. She’d heard that Choccoban didn’t have too many but they certainly had some. And then she saw The Big Mistake. She didn’t stop to study the place because she wanted to get off the street, but it looked like a trashy saloon. The fried egg-sized splotches in the front door, likely caused by energy bullets, were a dead giveaway.

  “In here,” Suzy whispered as she dragged Ricardo inside.

  “Is this really a good time for a drink?” he said.

  She didn’t answer him. The room was small and square and dimly lit with bluish orbs hanging down. There was a jukebox in the corner, outlined by a 3D rainbow of illumination. There were a couple of drunk-looking guys sitting at the bar, and there were six empty tables scattered around.

  She hadn’t yet told him the location of the brain, and he hadn’t asked.

  Ricardo said, “I’ll be back in a minute,” and went into the restroom.

  Suzy watched him go and then walked up to the bar where the bartender was washing a couple of beer mugs. He was young and neat and looked like a college kid. “Give me a shot of Jack,” Suzy said. “Also, where is Lama?”

  ”I’m Lama,” the guy said with a smile. “Who are you?”

  She leaned forward and lowered her voice. “I’m Suzy, and I’m here for Aiko’s package. Do you have it?”

  The guy stopped his washing. “So you’re Suzy, huh? That’s wild… Aiko said you might come… I have it.”

  He walked through a doorway behind the bar. Suzy put her hand on her pistol and scanned the room again—checking the exits, the shadows, and the clientele. She knew it couldn’t be this easy.

  Lama came back with a black box about the size of a football. The lid was sealed.

  “Here it is,” he said. “Aiko asked me to hold onto it. He said give it to you if you came for it.”

  Suzy studied the plain-looking package. She downed her whiskey and said, “You knew Aiko?”

  She studied his eyes—still mild as milk.

  He shrugged. “He was in my chess club. A bunch of us at the university put it together. We played on the grid, mostly, but whenever he came to Choccoban we’d get together. Where is he?”

  “He’s not here right now.”

  One of the guys at the bar got up and stumbled outside. Ricardo came out of the restroom and looked at the box.

  “Hey, did you get me a present?”

  “Maybe. Do you need a new brain?”

  “What?” His eyes were bright. “Is that it?”

  ”I don’t know. Let’s get out of here.”

  “Where are we going?”

  It was a good question. They couldn’t go back to the ship; it was the first place the cops would look. They needed a hideout, and Suzy vaguely regretted not making any friends in this town—but of course, she had no problem trusting Alice.

  Alice was coming through the front door.

  She was as busty as ever in that explosive red dress. She was also arm-in-arm with Nate, snuggling close to him and roaring with laughter as they walked into the room.

  Alice stopped and stared. Suzy did the same. With a shout, Alice raised her arms and lunged forward, crashing into Suzy and giving her a bone-squeezing hug. She started shrieking in her Earth-Euro-London accent.

  “Suzy Spitfire, you’re here!”

  “You’re damn right I am. And so are you! It’s good to see you.”

  Suzy wasn’t much for displays of gushing emotion, but she did find herself melting a bit. She’d only known Alice a short time, but nothing brings people together faster than violent adventure.

  “You missed our performance,” Alice said. “We were booked on Choccoban as part of our tour—and since we ended up here we decided to do it. Part of the healing process, I guess.” She gave Nate a squeeze. “Nate was wonderful as Hamlet.”

  Obviously, Alice had healed pretty fast after Bob’s death. Good for her.

  “That’s great, Alice. I’m really happy for you… Uh, by the way, have you got a place where we can hide out?”

  “Ah. Is someone looking for you?”

  Suzy sighed. It was a question that always had the wrong answer. “Yeah.”

  “Well, you can stay in the theater with us! The people running the place have been wonderful.”

  Alice glanced around and then reached into her sack-sized purse. She handed Suzy a rectangular gray chip a few centimeters square. It was about the thickness of a playing card with a single touch pad on the front. It also had an attachment dock on one side.

  “Take this scrambler,” Alice said. “It’s a special model only available to people with the right kind of friends, and it’ll wreak havoc with surveillance cameras. It will also block almost any kind of tracking device. Don’t worry, I’ve got a few of them… Now let’s sit down and have a drink.”

  Suzy laughed as she attached the scrambler to the inside of her boot. Most women carry makeup, aspirins, and maybe a tampon—but Alice carried anti-spyware. It was a perfect day to run into an actress who also happened to be a razor-sharp engineer and gadget junky.

  “Alice, you’re awesome, but I’ve got a feeling we should go… Where's the theater?”

  “It’s right down the street. It’s part of an effort by the local university to try and bring this city more culture and respectability—though I’m not sure if our group qualifies as ‘respectable.’ ”

  Ricardo was looking out of the pub’s one small window. “Dammit!” he hissed. “We’re in trouble.”

  A squad of cops was gathering outside. They were talking into their link chips and checking their guns.

  Suzy swore and scanned the room fast. The remaining drunk guy at the bar made a sloppy move toward his jacket. Quick as a flash, Suzy shot him in the chest. As he fell to the floor she pointed her gun at Lama.

  “Don’t shoot!” he said, thrusting his hands into the air. “I don’t know anything.”

  “Is there another way out of here, Lama? Quick!”

  Lama was flustered. Obviously, his combat experience was limited to a chessboard.

  “There’s the supply tunnel,” he
blurted. “It’s right back there, but it might not be safe.”

  Suzy nodded. Then she shot him in the stomach.

  It was only a stun blast, like the first one. Lama might be a good guy—or maybe not—but either way she couldn’t leave anyone behind who knew where they were going. Hopefully, they’d be far from Choccoban by the time he woke up.

  Meanwhile, Ricardo was examining the first guy Suzy had shot. He rifled through the guy’s jacket and pulled out a badge. “Damn. This guy’s a cop.”

  Suzy gave a snort. The whole scenario had bad implications—but there was no time to consider them now.

  “Let’s go,” Suzy said.

  They ran into the back room; it was a jumbled mess in there, but among the piles of crates and boxes they found an elevator. Suzy knew the shops, stores, and pubs on Choccoban were supplied by an underground network of tunnels. This kept traffic on the streets to a minimum. Suzy also knew that tunnels were a bad place for a gunfight.

  “Wait!” Alice said. Then she pulled an emerald green orb from her purse and Suzy’s eyes got wide. It was a small bomb. Was there anything this woman didn’t have in there? Even her hairbrush probably exploded.

  “How long?” Alice said.

  “Ten seconds,” Ricardo said.

  Suzy figured it was a guess, but what the hell? It was as good as any other. Alice pressed a few buttons and rolled the orb toward the door that led to the street. They all piled into the elevator just as the cops came storming in.

  The cops were shooting as the elevator was descending. The bomb blew up.

  There was a roar, and the elevator shook and bounced; Suzy and her crew were tossed around like ping pong balls. Up above, the blast definitely caused some destruction.

  As they stumbled from the car, they found themselves in a white-washed passageway wide enough for a mid-sized truck. Damn, these passageways were used quite a bit and they were bound to be seen. Would Alice’s device prevent them from being spotted and tracked? Suzy wasn’t so sure—but then the lights went out.

  Ricardo swore. “What?” he said. “Again?” Suzy felt a wave of relief; the bomb and the darkness would slow the cops down. She whipped out her flashlight.

  Alice pointed ahead. “The theater is this way.”

  They started running. “What’s the story with the power?” Suzy said.

  “No one is sure,” Alice said. “All the domes are having continuous power outages—and the official story about maintenance is ridiculous. From what I understand, all the domes are divided up amongst a bunch of gangsters; they each have their territories. And the rumor is that one of the gangsters has figured out a way to control all the power, and he’s trying to extort money from the others… But who knows?”

  They reached an elevator that led to the theater but it didn’t work. Luckily, there were stairs nearby. They climbed them fast and found themselves in a dark room filled with shadowy piles of stuff.

  Alice said, “I believe these tunnels run throughout the entire city. There’s no telling where we could’ve gone. Unless we left footprints, I don’t think they’ll find you here too quickly.”

  Suzy shook her head. “I’m sorry I dragged you and Nate into this mess, Alice. But thanks for helping us.”

  “Glad to do it,” Alice said. “We were just about to leave, anyway. Nate and I were celebrating our last night on Choccoban. Everyone else left yesterday. Nate and I have tickets out of here on a commercial ship that leaves in an hour. Hopefully we’ll be gone before anyone puts things together.”

  Suddenly the lights came back on and Suzy saw they were in a room cluttered with containers. They were also surrounded by costumes, hanging on the walls and overflowing from bins on the floor. Some of them were animal costumes—a lion, a tiger, and a few basic primates.

  Suzy pulled a knife from her boot and opened the package she was cradling under her arm. She lifted out the contents—it was gray, smooth, and slippery, and about the size of a large coconut. She turned it over in her hands but it didn’t seem to have an opening.

  “So that’s it?” Ricardo said. “It doesn’t look so smart to me. Hey, brain, what’s my favorite kind of ice cream?”

  Suzy ignored Ricardo and showed the container to Alice. “Does this look like some kind of super brain to you?”

  “Not really. This looks like a container made from an energy resistant synthetic fiber.”

  “Do you think there’s a super-duper artificial intelligence inside of it?”

  “It’s hard to say. Almost anything could be in there, but this would be very small for an AI. Most of them are much larger. For all I know this thing could be filled with a spaghetti dinner.”

  Suzy continued to turn the object over in her hands. “Aiko told me it was small. I wonder how it opens.”

  “Yeah, me too,” Ricardo said. “I could go for some spaghetti.”

  “There’s lots of food around here,” Alice said. “There’s a fabulous pizza place right down the street. But it might be a bad idea for you to go there. Nate and I could go.”

  “No,” Suzy said. “You’ve done enough for us.”

  “I’ll go!” Ricardo said with a grin. “I’ll wear a disguise. This room is filled with them.”

  In an instant, Ricardo was transformed—with a heap of blond hair, a wrinkled brown raincoat, and a pair of shoes that made him look taller.

  Suzy laughed. “Ricardo, it doesn’t rain on Choccoban... Anyway, we really need to watch out—Blurr must have connections with the government. Those assholes have been tracking us since we got here.”

  Ricardo smiled and put on a pair of sunglasses. “Yeah, but those assholes got lucky, and then they lost us. Do you see them breaking down the door?”

  “Not yet. But going out there is stupid. And by the way, you don’t need sunglasses inside a domed city. The ‘sun’ isn’t that bright.”

  “Maybe I’m a movie star, okay? I’m starving. I’ll bring back something good.”

  “I’ll come with you,” Nate said. “I think you ladies can take care of yourselves, right? Of course you can.”

  Before Suzy could object again, they were headed down the stairs and back into the passageway.

  “Ricardo seems happy enough,” Alice said.

  “Yeah.”

  “Is something wrong, Suzy?”

  “I don’t know. I guess I’m not really sure who’s on my side, and I’m not talking about you.”

  “But you and Ricardo have been through quite a bit together. I’d say he’s shown some real devotion, including gunfights and fistfights and space battles. That’s more than the average man shows a girl.”

  “Yeah, I know. Maybe I’m just being an idiot. There was all that stuff on the Heartbreaker… He would’ve gotten himself killed over me if you hadn’t knocked out all the guns.”

  Alice hesitated, recalling the moment when Ricardo had attacked Bob, despite the way Bob had been holding a pistol. “Yes, that’s true,” she said. “Of course, Ricardo knew I was going to disable the weapons. I told him about my device.”

  “What?”

  Suzy blinked and stopped breathing.

  “Yes,” Alice said. “We were talking in the corner of the room just before Bob showed up, and I told him I had another controller. He saw me switch it on after Bob walked in. But of course it was still a bit of a risk—it might not have worked.”

  Suzy felt lightheaded now. “Yeah, that’s true,” she finally said. “But I didn’t know that he knew. I thought he was just showing some crazy feelings for me.”

  “Ah, I see. Well, every man wants to be a hero—so why tell you about it and be something less? Do you think he loves you?”

  “What? No! Not at all! I don’t think that.”

  Suzy felt herself getting red—and that only made her get redder. How had she ended up in this conversation?

  Alice laughed. “I think he does. But do you love him, Suzy? Love isn’t a bad thing. In fact, it’s the best thing. As Shakespeare once said, ‘The
course of true love never did run smooth.’ "

  “It’s not like that!”

  Alice laughed again. “It’s okay for a tough girl to be in love.”

  “I’m not in love,” Suzy mumbled.

  “I see. Well, I hope you end up there.”

  “Why?”

  “Because you’ll like it. Now what’s the story with this brain?”

  Suzy was happy to change the subject, and she gave Alice a quick overview of the situation.

  “It sounds like bollocks to me,” Alice said. “If I were you, I’d get the hell out of here. Leave the brain and go. I wish there was something I could do to help.”

  “You’ve done plenty. Thanks for this great hideout.”

  “You’re quite welcome, Suzy. By the way, you can monitor it when you’re not here.” She pointed to a dirty corner of the ceiling. Suzy squinted her eyes and noticed a pearl-colored orb about the size of a pea.

  “It’s a camera,” Alice said. “It can be synched to an allcom. It’s useful if you want to see who’s in here when you’re not.”

  “Why did you set that up?”

  “I didn’t. It was already here… I guess the university was concerned someone might steal one of their ape costumes. But I’ve tapped into it, and I can do the same for you. Do you have a device?”

  “No. Just an old-style throwaway phone.”

  “I can help you with that situation.”

  Alice pulled out an allcom and handed it to Suzy. Then Alice showed her how to work the program. Not only could she monitor the room, she could also play back a recording of whatever had happened there. Suzy had no need to learn this, but Alice seemed intent on giving a demonstration so she decided to be polite and listen.

  But where were Nate and Ricardo? They’d only gone down the street. They’d been gone way too long.

  Finally, Suzy and Alice heard a sound. Suzy grabbed her gun and pointed it at the stairs. The doors opened, and Ricardo and Nate stepped out. Suzy gave a sigh of relief.

  The two guys were grinning. They were also holding two pizzas and a case of beer, so Suzy grinned too.

  “What took you so long?” she said. “Didn’t you know we were hungry?”