The Consequences of Sin

by K. A. Robinson

  “Morning,” he said.

  “Morning,” I echoed.

  We were silent for a minute until he grinned. “We’re not going to have that awkward morning-after thing, are we? ’Cause those suck.”

  I gave him a weak smile. “I wouldn’t know.”

  The grin faded from his face, and I instantly wanted it to come back.

  He studied me for a moment, a thoughtful look on his face. “You were a virgin.”

  I snorted. “Please tell me you’re not just now figuring that out.”

  He rolled his eyes. “Smart-ass.” He paused. “You were a virgin, and you had sex with me without a second thought. Why?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Bree, you’re twenty-one, and you’ve never had sex. I get that your father was overprotective, but if there’s a will, there’s a way. You could’ve slept with someone before, but you didn’t. I assume there’s a reason you waited this long. I’m curious as to why it was with me and why you didn’t even think about it.”

  No, I only waited until I was eighteen. I couldn’t dare tell him that. If I admitted my age was a lie, I’d have to admit that everything was a lie. So many things that Reid thought he knew about me were lies. In that moment, I hated myself for telling him nothing but half-truths and for flat-out deceiving him. My life was anything but simple, and bringing Reid into it was selfish of me, yet I couldn’t bring myself to push him away. The only chance he had of saving himself from me was if he left me. I’d never felt this way about a man. My tiny crush had morphed into something much bigger than that in such a short time. And after last night, I knew it would only grow.

  “It just felt right with you,” I finally said. At least, that was the truth.

  Being around Reid felt right. No, I didn’t feel insta-love with him like I read about in some of my romance novels, but something was definitely there. It was a bit of insta-like with a splash of hormones and another splash of infatuation.

  He didn’t speak. Instead, he laced his fingers through mine and turned his head so that he was staring up at the ceiling instead of at me. I squeezed his hand gently, enjoying something as simple as holding his hand.

  After a while, I couldn’t stand the silence any longer. “So, where do we go from here?”

  Without looking at me, he said, “What do you mean?”

  I sighed. “I don’t have any experience with men, Reid. I don’t know if last night was…nothing for you, something you planned to walk away from, or if you want something more.”

  “Like a relationship?” He still wouldn’t look at me.

  “Yeah, like a relationship.”

  “Is that what you want?” he asked, finally looking at me.

  I hesitated. “I don’t know. I just…this is new to me. I don’t want it to be just a one-night stand, but I don’t expect you to profess your undying love for me either.”

  He chuckled. “I always save that for the third date. Don’t get ahead of yourself, Bree.”

  I flipped him off with my free hand. “Ass.”

  He grinned for a moment before his expression turned serious. “If you want my honest answer, I didn’t really consider what would happen this morning. But I can honestly say that I don’t consider you a one-night stand. You’ve constantly been on my mind since the moment I saw you. After last night, I’m not willing to let you go just yet. I guess I’m saying that I’m open to a relationship if you are.”

  “I…yeah, I think I’d like that. You’ll have to bear with me because I haven’t a clue on how these things work,” I said calmly even though it felt like my heart was about to beat out of my chest.

  When I’d left London, I’d never expected anything like this to happen. My thoughts had been focused only on escaping and starting over. I’d never thought about the possibility of a relationship.

  Reid smiled before kissing me again. “We’ll figure it out together.”

  I couldn’t wait.

  My new relationship with Reid was the brightest part of my life. Each day, I woke up and instantly thought of him. We didn’t jump into it without thinking though. It’d been just over a week since that night, and we had yet to jump in bed together again. Reid and I had both agreed that if we wanted things to work, we needed to take it slow. I was more than okay with that. That night had been a by-product of weeks of lust with only a small amount of feelings. Neither of us wanted this to be about sex only, so we made sure to keep away from each other in that respect.

  Our work schedules seemed to clash constantly. I’d never minded before, but now, it was torture. I worked the day shift five days a week, and he worked the night shift for four days during the week. We would make time for each other during the few short hours after I came home and before he had to leave for work. On the days we had off, we would spend our time in the apartment, watching movies and just talking.

  I’d learned a lot about Reid that week while he’d learned practically nothing about me. Reid was born and mostly raised in Dallas. His father had left before he was even born, leaving Reid’s mother to raise him on her own. From what I’d gathered, she’d been young when she had him—around my age. With no degree and no time to go back to school, she’d worked a lot of dead-end jobs with long hours. Reid was an only child just like me. The difference was that I’d had Wesley my entire life, but Reid had been pretty much on his own.

  Reid had mentioned that his mother had moved to Houston a few years back with husband number three. His tone had held so much bitterness when he told me that, and I hadn’t dared to ask for more details. Some things were better off when they were left alone. Prying would only upset him.

  Reid had tried to get more information out of me, but I hadn’t given him much. I couldn’t. I would feed him lies with the smallest of truths sprinkled in. My guilt doubled with each lie I told, but I couldn’t stop. If he ever found out the truth about me, he would walk away without a backward glance. I didn’t blame him for that. But I also reminded myself that my past was exactly where it should be—in the past. If everything worked out, my past would never catch up to me, and he’d never have to know the truth.

  While I most definitely never let my guard down, I felt myself relaxing with each passing day. My life had changed so much since I’d boarded the plane in London. It was almost like the past eighteen years had never happened. They were just a bad dream. I wasn’t a killer here in Dallas. I was just a normal twenty-one-year-old girl trying to survive on her own and exploring every aspect of life that she could, even the possibility of love.

  I hoped that, one day, I would know what true freedom felt like. Maybe, just maybe, the past would never catch up to me, and years from now, I could really and truly forget what I’d done.

  As I stepped out of the front doors at work, I saw Reid leaning against the brick wall a few feet away. I smiled as I drank him in, memorizing every little detail about him. He looked up and noticed me. He smirked as he pushed away from the wall and walked over to me.

  “What are you doing here?” I asked when he stopped in front of me.

  He leaned down and softly brushed my lips with his. “I thought we could go grab something to eat before my shift.”

  I looked down at my black yoga capris and tank top. “I’m not exactly dressed to go out.”

  He smiled as he threw his arm over my shoulder and started guiding us down the busy street. “Don’t worry. We’ll go somewhere where a dress code isn’t needed. Besides, you look hot. You should wear yoga pants every day. They make your ass look good.”

  I chuckled, unable to stop myself. I still couldn’t get used to Reid acting this way around me. When I’d first met him, he’d been so contained. He was always so relaxed and carefree around me now. I loved it. It was nice to see this side of him. Contained-and-always-in-control Reid was hot as hell, but easygoing, happy Reid was much better. I knew most women liked men who seemed mysterious and dark, but I’d had enough mystery and darkness in my life to last me a lifetime.

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nbsp; “Thanks for noticing,” I said as I elbowed him.

  He lowered his hand and cupped my ass. “Anytime, babe. Anytime.”

  We walked a few blocks to a sports bar I’d never been in. Reid held my hand as a waitress led us to a booth on the opposite side of the bar. The place was crowded even though it was barely six. Several TVs on the walls showed a game, which explained the crowd.

  Reid pulled me down next to him and tucked me in close to him. I smiled as I rested my head on his shoulder. I didn’t like when people touched me, but with Reid, it was different. I didn’t jump away with an excuse. My skin didn’t crawl. I couldn’t understand why he didn’t bother me. Maybe a part of me knew that he was nothing like the men I’d grown up with. He was kind. He wouldn’t use his hands to hurt me. I had no fear that he would get angry and decide to hit me like my father had more times than I cared to think about.

  I opened my menu and looked it over. It seemed that they had more pages for their beer brands than actual food. I grinned. Typical Americans.

  “What are you grinning about?” Reid asked as he rested his hand on my leg.

  “Nothing. It’s silly,” I said as I glanced over at him.

  “Tell me.”

  I shrugged. “I was just thinking about how different some things are here compared to London.”

  “Is that a bad thing?” He seemed troubled.

  “Of course not. Why?”

  He shrugged. “You’ve only been here for a short time. I guess I can’t help but wonder if you’re going to grow tired of Dallas and decide that you miss home.”

  “Reid, I can promise you that I will never miss home—ever. Dallas has been more like home to me than London ever was. I feel safer here than I ever have. I’m not going anywhere.”

  “Safer?” he asked. The tone of his voice said more than that simple word. “Why would you feel safer here? Your father was overprotective of you, wasn’t he? I would think you’d feel the opposite.”

  I cursed myself for my stupidity. My words had slipped out before I’d even thought about what I was going to say.

  “I just meant…” I trailed off, unsure of what to say.

  Reid’s entire body tensed. “You randomly decide to move to another country with nothing but the clothes on your back. You look like you couldn’t hurt a fly, yet I’ve seen you take down your boss in less than five minutes, and now, you say you feel safer here. What happened to you in the past, Bree? What aren’t you telling me?”

  I shook my head. “Nothing, Reid. I don’t know why I said safer. Maybe it’s simply because of the way I feel when I’m around you. I feel safe and even secure when you’re with me.”

  He warily eyed me, and I knew he wasn’t going to let the subject drop.

  “Bree, if someone hurt you, I want you to know that you can tell me. You can talk about anything that’s bothering you.”

  I looked away. He was worried about someone hurting me. If only he knew how many people I’d hurt…people were dead because of me.

  “No one hurt me. Can we please just let it go?”

  I was saved from hearing his response when our waitress appeared to take our orders. I ordered the first thing I saw before shoving my menu in her hand and excusing myself to the restroom. I pushed through the restroom door and hurried to the first stall. After locking myself in, I rested my head against the door. I was such a fool. Reid wasn’t an idiot, and I’d slipped up. I would have to be careful from now on with everything I said. I couldn’t let him question me again. I didn’t want to put doubt in his mind. He would grow tired of my evasiveness—of that I had no doubt. I couldn’t let my secrets ruin everything.

  After I calmed myself, I walked out of the restroom and headed back to our booth. Reid watched me as I walked across the room and sat down next to him.

  “Hey, you okay?” he asked, his voice full of concern.

  “Yeah, I’m fine,” I said as I forced a smile.

  Thankfully, our food had already arrived. I forced my attention on my plate and grabbed a few fries.

  We ate in silence. I hated the heaviness that surrounded our table. Reid knew that something was up, and I had no idea what to say to take his worry away.

  “Bree…” He paused. “Whatever it is that I said to upset you, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

  I forced another smile. “You didn’t. I’m just tired. Work was rough today.”

  He nodded, but I doubted if he believed me. I just hoped that he’d let our earlier conversation drop.

  Once we finished, Reid paid, and we left. He kept his arm around me as we walked out of the bar and back toward our apartment. I stayed close to him as we walked through the now dark streets. I’d never leaned on anyone the way I did with him. Wesley had always been there for me mentally, but neither of us had been the touchy-feely type.

  As we rounded the corner to our block, I caught sight of a shadow lurking in the darkness of an alley. My steps faltered as I tried to get a better look. The alley was directly between us and our building. Every part of my body demanded that we stay clear of it. Shadows hid things that most people didn’t want to see. Most people pretended that there was nothing in the darkness to hurt them, but I knew better.

  “What’s wrong?” Reid asked when I stopped dead in the street.

  “I-I thought I saw something in that alley,” I said.

  I didn’t think I saw something. I knew I had. But I didn’t want Reid to ask me how I’d noticed something so far away.

  “Are you sure?” he asked as he looked toward the alley. “It’s too dark to really see anything, Bree. Maybe the shadows are playing tricks on you.”

  “Yeah, maybe,” I said uncertainly. “Come on, let’s go.”

  I started walking slowly toward the alley, my eyes and ears on high alert. If someone tried to hurt me, I would be ready. I felt a trickle of fear as we approached. If someone were waiting on me, it would be my fault if Reid got hurt.

  I reached into my purse and wrapped my hand around the handle of my gun. I almost pulled it out, but I caught myself at the last second. As far as I knew, Reid had no idea that I carried one. After our little conversation earlier, I didn’t want him to.

  When we reached the alley, I quickly scanned the shadows. When no one jumped out, I sighed in relief. I really was just overreacting. No one was out to get me.

  “See? There’s no one there,” Reid said.

  “Yeah, I guess my mind is playing tricks on me.”

  He smiled down at me. “Come on, let’s get you home, so I can head to work.”

  I took a deep breath to calm my nerves before we started walking again. Maybe I really was going crazy after all.

  I walked down the narrow aisles of the grocery store a few blocks from our apartment. Two days had passed with no mention of our talk at the sports bar. I was relieved that Reid had let it go after all. He’d worked every night since, and tonight was our first evening together in what felt like forever.

  I’d decided that I was going to surprise him by making dinner on my own. As I walked from aisle to aisle, I kept checking my list to make sure that I didn’t forget anything. I’d found a simple enough recipe online—chicken pesto. All I needed was chicken, pesto, cheese, and something as a side dish. I’d reread the directions at least ten times before deciding that I was capable of making it.

  My cooking skills were limited to say the least, but that didn’t mean that I wouldn’t try to learn. After all, I’d baked a cake with Reid’s help. I had to learn. I would never have a chef to lean on again, and I knew that I needed to learn everything, even the trivial things, to fit into this new life.

  After I had dropped everything I would need into my basket, I walked to the front of the store and got in line behind an older man. I watched as he put his groceries up on the counter for the cashier to ring through. As I waited, I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. I looked around, unsure of what I was looking for. Nothing seemed out of place in the store, but
I felt like someone was watching me. I peered out through the front doors to see if someone was looking in, but there was no one around.

  I shook it off. Since the night I’d thought someone was in the alley, my body was constantly on edge. I’d force the feeling away over and over. No one was watching me. My mind was playing tricks on me. Still, just to be safe, I would make sure that my gun was loaded and always with me. It was better to be prepared.

  Once I paid, I headed back toward my apartment building. I still felt uneasy, but I tried not to glance over my shoulder. I failed a few times, but no one that seemed out of place was ever there when I looked.

  When I made it back to the apartment, I dumped all my purchases on the counter and started sorting them. I pushed the ingredients for a salad out of the way before preheating the oven for the chicken. I was nervous and excited at the thought of making dinner for Reid. It was so…domesticated of me. I grinned and shook my head. Look at the big bad assassin now. The only thing I’m going to kill is this dinner. It felt so good to do something so normal.

  Twenty minutes later, I had the chicken in the oven. I washed my hands before preparing the salad. Once it was done, I stuck it in the fridge and headed into the living room to watch TV. Reid was at the gym with Jake, but he would be home before too much longer.

  I snuggled up with a blanket and turned on the TV. I flipped aimlessly through channels, hoping to find something that would catch my interest. Sports and reality TV were both definitely out. I understood why some people liked watching sports, but reality TV was another matter. I couldn’t imagine paying a cable bill just to watch people make complete asses out of themselves on national television. It didn’t make sense.

  I finally settled for a show about African animals. It seemed like the best option. I was still on the couch when I heard Reid’s keys unlocking the door. I looked up just as the door swung open. His eyes landed on me, and he instantly smiled. He tossed his gym bag down on the floor before walking over to the couch and dropping down next to me. He wrapped his arm around me and pulled me in closer to him.