Reborn as Bree [The ShadowDance Club 5] (Siren Publishing Ménage Amour)

by Avery Gale

  By the time Rissa had finished Bree was shaking with laughter. “Oh my God, you are so good for my soul. And thank you for the offer of the house. I haven’t made a final decision yet, but I have to tell you, I can’t imagine leaving. There are some things I need to check and work out, but…well, please don’t offer it to anyone else just yet, okay?”

  Rissa clapped her hands in delight and whispered. “Oh. Honey, I’m so happy to hear that and I promise to keep it to myself…well, mostly. You know I have to tell Kat and Jenna or they’d have my hide. But those men of yours? They’re on their own. Now, I better get back out to that waiting room before I find myself in as much trouble as Kat and oh, sister, that must have been ugly because Kat hasn’t sat down since they got here!” When Bree’s eyes went wide, she continued, “Oh don’t you worry, Alex and Zach wouldn’t ever actually hurt her, but they surely would paddle her sweet ass and I’m sure they did. But likely the worst of it was they didn’t let her come. See you soon and welcome to the neighborhood…in advance.” She laughed as she made her way out of the curtains.

  * * * *

  Jamie was sure Rissa had seen them walk up to the curtain and then back away. And she would have known they were listening to her conversation with Bree, so he wasn’t surprised to see her sly smile as she walked by and gave them each a fist bump. She’d be getting a nice big basket of flowers and some very special baby gifts, he’d always liked Rissa, but right now he wanted to hug her. “Thanks, sweet cheeks. We owe you—big time. We won’t forget this, I promise you.”

  Rissa just smiled and teased, “Don’t you be telling anyone I did something nice. I have a reputation to maintain you know.” She kept walking and they turned back toward the curtained wall. Nodding to each other, they both knew it was time to make sure their woman knew precisely what their intentions were.

  Chapter 28

  Lying back, soaking up the warm sunshine, Bree thought back over the two weeks since she’d lost her mother. Her father had been hustled away by Homeland Security before she’d even been released from the hospital but at least he was allowed to keep in touch with her and from the way things were shaping up he might very well be returning to Colorado within the next month or two. Truthfully he didn’t have much information, her mom had clearly been much more involved in all the arms and information brokering over the years. Finding out that Christina Gillette had betrayed them had shell-shocked both Bree and her dad. She hoped he’d move closer to her so they could help each other heal.

  The gunshot wound to her shoulder had healed quickly and she was even starting some lightweight training as physical therapy so her strength was rebounding quickly. The only thing that was missing was sex.

  Bree was about to climb the walls. Ethan and Jamie were smothering her and not in a good way. She felt like a kid that had been given this wonderful new toy to play with for a few days only to have it taken away from her the first time she had the least little health problem. Rolling on to her side and propping her head on her hand, she directed her question to both Kat and Rissa who were both dangling their feet in the pool in front of the waterfall. “You have both been injured since you became a sub, right?”

  Kat snorted a laugh. “Oh yeah. And you don’t even have to tell us what’s bugging you because we already know. Hell, you were the topic of conversation in the spa yesterday after you left.” Both women started to giggle and Bree was starting to get annoyed before Kat finally continued. “Don’t get your panties in a twist, sister. It wasn’t a bad thing, we could just tell you were edgy and since we’ve ‘been there, done that,’ there wasn’t any question that you aren’t getting laid.” Bree knew her mouth had dropped open, but she couldn’t help it. The women she’d made friends with since coming to ShadowDance never ceased to amaze her with their casual way of speaking about sex.

  Kat turned to Rissa. “Look at her, Christ on a crutch, she still does that guppy imitation when we talk about sex. Lord, but you’d think she’d be used to us by now. No matter, she’ll catch on eventually…maybe, well I hope so…damn…anyway, as I was saying we know what you are going through and can only tell you that you’ll have to figure it out and soon or your head is going to start spinning around on your shoulders.”

  By the time Kat was finished, Rissa was holding her very round baby bump and laughing so hard she had tears streaming down her cheeks. It hadn’t escaped Bree’s attention that Rissa was gaining weight at a much healthier rate since Bryant had returned home. She knew he was the stricter of Rissa’s two dominant husbands and that he’d been upset when he’d known how little his wife had gained while he’d been finishing up some bridge project out of the country.

  “Well, thanks so much for the fortune cookie advice there, sweet friend. Crap, that doesn’t help me at all. You were supposed to tell me how to get sex, not give me some watered-down version of ‘figure it out and stop whining.’” Blowing out her breath she finally asked, “Do you think you could get me into The Club tonight? I’ve been dying to see what it’s like when the members are there and if I’m not getting any action I ought to at least get to enjoy it vicariously.”

  Rissa gasped and started shaking her head violently before gathering up her stuff and hot-footing it out of there. As she left, Bree heard her saying something about not going down for this one as she rounded the corner. Staring after her, Bree was shocked by her reaction and it was only Kat’s bark of laughter that refocused her attention on her hostess.

  “Holy shit, I never thought I’d live to see the day when Rissa would tuck tail and run at the thought of getting a nice satisfying paddling. Boy oh boy, Bryant’s head is going to grow two sizes overnight, you just watch and see if I’m not right. Damn and double damn—this is a real dilemma. I know where you are coming from, I really do, but I have to tell you, sneaking in to The Club is beyond what even I am willing to risk. And I suggest you reconsider that option. Give me a day or so to come up with something. Because sneaking in there will be painful for you and embarrassing, too. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy an erotic spanking or a well-handled flogger as much as anyone, but I don’t want to be displayed and punished as an example to all the members either.” She shuddered and then looked over at Bree.

  “Okay let me tell you what happened to me…once. I was in sitting at the bar in The Club’s largest lounge area chatting up one of the subs that helps out serving drinks, etcetera.” Running her hand nervously through her hair, she finally took a deep breath and then released it slowly before continuing. “Anyway, this jackass Dom from back east comes in and quacks out his order like he’s the king duck or something. It was just rude and I told him so. Well, that brought a shit storm my way in a big hurry. Alex put me in the stocks, ripped my pretty dress so that my bare ass was exposed to the world, and then put a sign up that said ‘Bratty and Mouthy—Needs Guidance—2 Free Swats per Dom’. Then he stood by and watched every Dom in the place, well almost everyone, smack me with the damned wooden paddle he had chosen. I was in those stupid stocks for over an hour and I didn’t sit for several days. My ass and thighs turned the most amazing shade of purple…well before they turned a nasty yellow green. That was the only time I was actually tempted to give up being a sub. I was mortified, not from the paddling, but because I’d embarrassed Alex and Zach. They are the owners of this wonderful and well-respected BDSM club and their own sub is a loser.”

  Bree was shocked to see the tear that trailed down Kat’s cheek. She wouldn’t have been surprised if the woman had wanted to quit because of the paddling and bruises. But her admission that she’d considered walking away from the lifestyle because she’d failed to live up to what she considered her husbands’ exacting standards really surprised her. “Did they say they were disappointed in you?”

  “Well, sort of…oh hell. They said they knew I was better than that and that they expected me to be a good example and not embarrass them. I cried for days. I was heartbroken to think I’d let them down. I know I come off as this catty, confident w
oman, but the only thing I have ever wanted was a family and a husband that loved me as much as I loved him. Well, I got a bonus and got the two men I had loved since forever and three gorgeous children, but I still felt like the stuff beneath pond scum.”

  Bree was really surprised because even though she’d read about how much subs like to please others, she’d still felt as if she was the only one to have fallen so deeply in love that pleasing the two men in her life was quickly becoming an obsession and that scared the soup out of her. “I can’t believe they didn’t try to make it up to you or at least explain things. Are their expectations really that high?”

  “Oh God no! They didn’t know how devastating it was to me emotionally. I couldn’t tell them because it would have just been another epic fail on my part. No, I just sucked it up and I’ve really tried to stay away from The Club as much as I can since then. I know it’s cowardly, but I’d just die a thousand deaths if I messed up again. Anyway, I only started this pity party so you’d see why I don’t want to help you sneak in to The Club because it really would be a huge problem for Alex and Zach both and I promise you they would find out. Hell, I’m hoping all my splashing my feet has covered up enough of this conversation that I’m not already in deep shit.”

  “Katarina, language.” Alex’s voice boomed from a few feet behind them and Bree was so startled she nearly launched herself out of the lounge chair. “Love, I believe we need to have a chat.” Then he turned toward Bree and said, “Bree, your men are also on their way. Before they get here, let me give you a bit of advice.”

  Oh shit, Bree, you’ve done it now. Not only have you gotten Kat in deep, but you are really going to sink like a stone on this one.

  Once he knew she was focused on him again, she saw Alex nod once and then he continued. “Bree, the only time you will truly disappoint your Doms is if you fail to trust them with the truth of your feelings. Behavior can be corrected, usually quite easily. But trust is built over time and it’s precious. Don’t assume they know what you are thinking or that what you are feeling isn’t important to them, because I assure you, a true Dom’s entire reason for being is to take care of his submissive.”

  Zach stepped around the corner and held out his hand to Kat and when she went to him he wrapped his arms around her. “Kitten, we have arranged for the children to spend the night with Colt and Jenna. We want to spend some time with you, this is too important for us to ignore. Listen to what your Master is saying to Bree and know he is also speaking to you.”

  Alex returned his gaze to Bree. “Without trust, no Ds relationship can last. You have to be honest with them and that requires you to be honest with yourself as well.” He looked deeply into her eyes and just watched her for several agonizing seconds. “Follow your heart, Bree. If you truly listen to the words it speaks to you, you’ll always find your way.”

  Chapter 29

  Bree watched the Lamonts walk away and was struck by how much she envied them. She didn’t care about their wealth or material possessions, but she had always craved a love like theirs. To have one man who loved you with that intensity would have been a blessing, but she had two within her grasp if she was just brave enough to reach out to them.

  It was suddenly clear to her that Jamie and Ethan had been waiting for her to be emotionally ready for the relationship. After she’d gotten out of the hospital, they had patiently explained exactly what they wanted in terms of a relationship with her, and that they were willing to wait until she was healed enough to make a decision. At the time their words had grated on her, after all, it was her shoulder that was injured, not her mind. But before this moment, their words hadn’t really had anything but a hollow meaning. Now, after speaking to Kat and having Alex’s words hit her directly in the heart she was stunned by how accurate her men’s assessment had been.

  Trust was the one thing she hadn’t been able to freely give anyone since her kidnapping. Everything she had thought she knew about herself and her family had been blown apart and now it was heartbreakingly clear that she hadn’t really given Jamie or Ethan her trust. It would be a leap of faith, but she knew nothing was ever gained unless you were willing to work for it.

  She wasn’t sure how long she’d been standing there lost in her own thoughts and self-analysis, but when she turned to pick up her things she came face-to-face with both of the men she’d decided owned her heart. “Oh! I was just getting ready to come and find you. Um…I want to apologize to you both.” She felt tears burn in her eyes and suddenly she wasn’t as confident as she’d been just a few seconds earlier.

  * * * *

  Jamie had been in the gym working out when Ethan had called from the Crow’s Nest and said he was patching something through to the monitor. As he’d watched and listened to everything play out in the gardens he’d been touched by Alex’s attempts to open Bree’s heart. The man had read it dead right in Jamie’s opinion. The look of self-realization on her face had lightened his heart. Damn, this past two weeks had been torture. He and Ethan had known she needed to heal, both physically and emotionally, but they were both beginning to wonder if they were going to be enough. He’d always believed love could conquer most anything, but her scars were soul deep.

  Just last night his grand-mère had called, he’d chuckled when he’d seen her name on his cell screen. The woman’s timing was always remarkable. When he’d answered, she had simply said, “The time is now,” and then hung up, so today’s events weren’t really all that shocking. God, he loved that old woman and he was already planning their trip to introduce Bree to their families, just as soon as they got a ring on her finger that is.

  He and Ethan had reached the gardens at the same time and had watched as their beautiful sub stood staring at the waterfall for several minutes. They let her work it through and it was as if a weight had lifted from her small shoulders as she turned to find them watching her. When she said she’d been on her way to find them they both froze. Could he have misinterpreted? But then he heard the word apologize and he wondered what the hell she could possibly have to apologize for.

  Jamie looked to Ethan, whose puzzled expression mirrored his own feeling. Jamie stepped forward and took her hand in his. “Bree, let’s sit down and talk for a minute, then we need to move this someplace more private.”

  “Okay, but please let me tell you about what I’ve just learned.” Once they’d all sat down she leaned forward and looked directly at each of them before sighing. “I’m sorry it took me so long to be ready…well, ready to trust again. Honestly, I have trusted you from that first day, but my spirit was so tattered I wasn’t strong enough to recognize what was so clearly the truth. But my worry is that I…well, that I won’t be enough.” She’d seen they were going to protest, but she forged ahead. “No, please let me explain. I know you are both experienced and from what I’ve been able to gather, you are popular and sought-after Doms at The Club. I really don’t know if I’ll ever be any good at being a submissive. I had to let go of so much of what I considered me when all the government officials decided I had to go into their lame-assed—oh, sorry—their protection program. I’m still trying to figure out who Bree is, but I know she trusts you with everything she is and well, if you are still interested in teaching her, I mean me, about submission, well…” Jamie noticed she had let her words trail off because they both had huge smiles on their faces. And even though she might not know if they were laughing at her or if they were sincerely pleased by her words she looked relieved just to see they were happy. She just sat back and watched them. She looked like she was too nervous to continue.

  * * * *

  Ethan leaned forward and grasped her hand and drew lazy circles over her palm for long seconds and never let his gaze move from her face. He knew she was struggling and unsure but he wanted to choose his words carefully because there was simply too much at stake to rush through this moment. “Bree, your trust is the greatest gift you can ever give either Jamie or me and I want you to know it is a gift we wil
l always cherish above all others. You worry that you can’t be enough when in fact you are already everything we’ve ever dreamed of, but I am sure my words won’t ever convince you.” When he lifted his hand up and slowly trailed the backs of his fingers down the side of her face until he could tangle his hand through her soft curls and grasp her nape he saw her eyes go wide and he was thrilled to see them fill with desire.

  “The only way for you to understand the power you would hold as a submissive is to experience it both vicariously and personally. Have any of the subs you have spent time with mentioned sub-space to you?”

  Ethan knew by her expression they had and when he saw the ghost of a smile on her lips he couldn’t wait to hear what they’d told her. “They mentioned it briefly, mostly they just fanned themselves with their eyes glazed over and said it was something I had to experience to understand. When I told them I’d read about the endorphins and how they flood the brain pushing…What? See, now you are giving me the same look they gave me.”