Gentleman Sinner

by Jodi Ellen Malpas

  She smiles, as if in amusement. “I think you are the only therapy Theo needs.”

  My shoulders drop, disappointed. And I wonder, is that why Judy is so accepting of me? Because she sees me as a potential cure for her son? Is that why she’s trying so hard to make me feel welcome? God, does she realize how much pressure she’s putting on me? I don’t know, but I feel compelled to enlighten her in case she doesn’t. She’s so blinded by the promise of her son possibly being fixed, she’s neglecting to consider the strain it might have on me. I’m determined, no doubt, but I’m also not delusional. I’m no professional. Theo needs professional help. “That’s a lot of pressure to put on my shoulders, Judy.” Will she change her opinion of me, be less friendly if I fail to cure her boy?

  “No pressure, my darling. None at all. Because even if he’s never cured, I can still see you bring light into his dark world. His happiness, his peace, is all that matters to me.”

  His peace. “So he’s not tried therapy?” I say, trying to get an answer to my original question.

  “Therapy requires talking. You may have noticed my son doesn’t like doing that.”

  What she means is, he’ll have to talk to a therapist, tell him his history so a treatment plan can be devised. Theo won’t talk about his history. Therapy is never going to happen. So, what? It’s down to me, then? All the responsibility to keep Theo calm and happy is on my shoulders?

  “Now”—Judy’s expression alters significantly, from sad to smiley—“tell me about your childhood, Izzy. Let’s get to know each other.”

  Judy’s choice of topic has the roles reversed. I look away, playing with the stem of my glass. “Not much to tell,” I lie. “I grew up in Highbury, went to the King’s College, and have worked at the Royal London since.” More lies, and I grimace to myself, hearing how mechanical I sound. “Well, I did work at the Royal London.” Until your son went on a rampage through the ward I worked on.

  As I expected, Judy ignores my latter statement. “Why a nurse?” she asks, appearing not to pick up on my robotic reply.

  “Because as much as I would’ve liked to be a doctor, I couldn’t afford med school.”

  “Your parents? Couldn’t they help with the financial burden?”

  I hold my tongue for a second, but I don’t say what I’m wondering, which is why she’s asking when I’d bet my life on the fact that Theo has already told her that my parents died. “My father died when I was very little,” I explain for the sake of it, deciding it’s easier than questioning why she would ask me when she knows. “My mother died ten years ago.”

  Her face drops, as does her glass to the table. “Oh, Izzy, I’m so very sorry.”

  I feel my forehead become heavy with my frown. “Theo didn’t tell you?”

  “No.” She shakes her head, then comes around to my side of the table and takes a seat next to me. I look at her, a little perplexed. “I’m sorry for asking. It must be very painful for you. What were you, seventeen when you lost your mother?” I nod, and she closes her eyes, plainly finding it hard to comprehend. “I lost mine when I was thirty. It was so hard, even as an adult, but you were just a girl.” She opens her arms and offers me her comfort. Naturally, and surprisingly, I go with ease. “You’re even stronger than I thought. No father and no mother at seventeen, and you found your way in the world. Became a nurse!” She pulls back and looks at me, all proud. Thrilled, even.

  I won’t tarnish the moment with the nastier pieces of the story, because for the first time ever, I’m being rained with praise—praise that I always knew my mother would have smothered me with if she could see me now. The fact that Theo’s mother is the deliverer, and not my own mum, adds only a hint of sadness to my moment. “You’re amazing, Izzy.” She kisses my cheek and hands me my drink. “Like a boss.” Clinking my glass, she winks, and I laugh, relaxing for the first time since I arrived. “Because make no mistake, darling girl. You are the boss where Theo is concerned. Of his heart.”

  Her words pierce my own heart and inject the biggest dose of happiness. I’m guessing now wouldn’t be the time to tell her that her darling son once told me that he’ll treat me like a queen and fuck me like a whore. “Thanks, Judy. For the chat and the drinks.” I sound sincere, and really, I am, but there’s that lasting curiosity brought about from an earlier point in our conversation. What happened to Theo? He told me he’s wired to charge when he’s touched. I don’t believe him. I believe something happened that made him that way. And besides, Judy told me he’s not always been this way. But do I really need the details? And would I risk pushing him away to find out?

  “Is that your phone, darling?” Judy asks, bringing me back into the plush bar, my lips hovering over my straw. I reach for my bag and fish out my mobile, but it cuts off before I get to answer. “It’s Theo,” I say, dialing him back.

  Judy laughs, a little exasperated. “He’s probably checking to see if I’ve scared you off.”

  I smile, hearing his voicemail kick in. I start to leave a message as Judy collects her own bag, holding up her phone, which is ringing. Theo’s name flashes at me, and I disconnect my call as Judy answers him. “Darling,” she greets him brightly, but then her happy expression disappears, being replaced with one way too serious for my liking. “No,” she breathes, looking at me. “Yes, she’s with me.”

  My back straightens, my pulse quickening as Judy glances at me. I have no idea what the cause for her worry is, but all of her anxious vibes are feeding my own concern.

  “I’m on my way.” She stands, signaling for me to do the same. “Well of course I’m bringing her,” she snaps, showing a rare display of annoyance before hanging up and grabbing her purse, tossing a fifty on the table.

  “What’s going on?” I ask, letting her lead me from the bar, out to the front of the hotel.

  She doesn’t answer me, waving for her driver instead.

  “Judy!” I shout, panic getting the better of me. “What’s happened?” The driver pulls up and she rushes to usher me into the car, then drops to the seat next to me. “There’s been an incident at the Playground,” she tells me. “Get us there as soon as possible, Gerard.”

  Her driver nods and zips out into the traffic quickly. But not as fast as my heart goes from zero to sixty. “What’s happened? Is it Theo? Is he okay?” My mind gallops with possible causes for the rush and panic.

  “He’s fine.”

  Relief sails through my veins at an epic rate. “Then what?”

  Judy rests her palm over her forehead, appearing to soothe a pounding head, and her phone rings again. She answers that instead of me, listening intently, nodding and seeming to become more and more troubled, maybe even angry. Whatever has happened, it’s not good.

  Chapter 22

  Judy’s driver enters Theo’s property via a different gate under her instruction, pulling up in a car park that serves the Playground. Judy jumps out and runs up the path lined with neatly trimmed topiary trees to the entrance. I’m hot on her heels, searching for Theo as I pass through a reception area and enter the main club. The subdued atmosphere hits me like a brick. There’s no music, no dancers on the stage, no fighters in the cage, and no clients. The staff are hovering around the bar, their hushed whispers urgent and fearful. One of them nudges the other as Judy marches through the club, and a domino effect of further nudges ensues until they are all quiet.

  “Where?” Judy asks curtly.

  “Dressing room,” one of the dancers answers quickly. She’s wrapped in a thin robe, looking shaken.

  As I keep close to Judy’s heels, the sound of Theo’s thundering shouts sounds through the club, and Judy’s pace quickens, as does mine. “How the fuck did this happen?” he roars.

  I nearly collide with Judy’s back when she comes to an abrupt halt at the dressing room door, and I take in the scene over her shoulder, struggling to comprehend the sight. Penny is lying on the floor, unconscious, her body half-naked under a blanket as Callum kneels beside her, stroking her h
air back from her face.

  “Oh my God,” I exhale, catching Theo’s attention. His shirt is half tucked into his trousers, his tie loose around his neck.

  “Izzy.” He rushes over, and Judy moves to give him clear access to me. My cheeks are cupped in his palms, his worried face nose-to-nose with mine. He places a long, lingering kiss on my lips, inhaling deeply. He’s so relieved to see me, I can feel his hammering heart slow as he holds me close.

  “What’s happened?” I ask, breaking away from him and hurrying across the room to where Penny is lying on the floor. Callum looks up at me, a sad smile on his face. “Well?” I ask, beginning to get a little rattled. “Will someone tell me what’s going on?” I kneel beside Penny and take her wrist, feeling for her pulse. It’s there and it’s strong, but she’s out for the count.

  “She was attacked,” Theo explains, kneeling beside me. A flash of violence travels across his face as he speaks.

  “What? Here?” No. No, that can’t be. The dancers are safe here. Protected. Theo makes sure of it.

  “Yes, here,” he practically growls, looking insane with anger.

  I feel Penny’s forehead before pulling her eyes open one by one. Her pupils are big, wide as saucers. “She’s been drugged.”

  “Fuck!” Theo thumps the floor before getting to his feet and stomping across the room, kicking a chair out of his way as he goes. I ignore him and concentrate on Penny, hearing Judy trying to talk him down.

  I pull back the blanket and look for any evidence of force, spotting a scattering of fresh bruises on her thighs and her knickers dangling from one hip, ripped. I swallow repeatedly, forcing away so many terrible memories. Now isn’t the time to have a meltdown. I need to be steady and together. Callum hisses and I look up, my lips straight. “Him?” I ask, referring to the scum that attacked us in the alley.

  Callum shakes his head. “He’s on remand.”

  “Then who?”

  “I don’t know.”

  I grit my teeth and return to Penny, covering her body. “We need to get her in a bed.”

  “I didn’t want to move her until you got here,” Callum explains. “I didn’t know whether she was hurt.” He slips his arms under her and lifts her from the floor, and I rise with him, keeping the blankets in place.

  “She’s hurt,” I mumble, sticking to Callum’s side as he leads the way back to the main house. I look at Theo as I pass, unable to soften my scowl. “But you can’t see the most damaging injuries.”

  Theo winces, pain sharpening the lines of his face as he drops his head back and looks to the ceiling. I get no pleasure from the reaction my cold, hard fact draws from him. He said she was safe here. He was wrong.

  I follow Callum through the house, and once he has Penny settled in the very same bed where I last tended to her a few weeks ago, I go to scrub my hands. Callum disappears and returns only a minute later, carrying a wealth of medical supplies. I move over to the bed and push the blanket back from her legs with my elbows. “You need to arrange for someone to get her some emergency contraceptive as a precaution.” Lacking stirrups, I gently ease Penny’s legs back. “Can you help, please?” I ask Callum, looking across to him. He’s watching me spreading Penny’s legs, a little horrified. “Callum?”

  “Yes.” He shakes himself back to life and hurries over. “Where do you want me?”

  “Hold her legs back by the knees,” I instruct, letting him replace my hands with his. “Like that.”

  “Got her,” he confirms, looking up to Penny’s face rather than what’s staring him in the face. “What are you doing?” he asks.

  “An internal exam to check for damage.” I inspect the bruising around her inner thighs, a collection of small dots from fingers gripping harshly. “Bastard,” I breathe, collecting a speculum from the table and pulling it from the protective wrapping. Grabbing the torch, I flip it on as I inch forward, trying to figure the best angle without the help of a proper examination chair. “Penny, I’m just going to take a peek at you. I won’t hurt you, I promise. It just might be a little uncomfortable.” I look up to her oblivious, sleeping face. She’s dead to the world, so I get on with assessing her. “There’s no semen,” I say to myself. “He probably used a condom. A little blood, but nothing too major.” I gently pull the speculum free and nod for Callum to release her legs. He’s quick to cover Penny’s dignity, arranging the blanket around her bottom half. I set down my instruments and pull off the gloves.

  Like I’ve been trained, I check under her nails for any sign that she might have fought her attacker. There’s nothing. “I should sit with her and keep an eye on her until she comes round.” I take a seat in the chair next to the bed and settle in for the evening. It could be hours before she regains consciousness, but she mustn’t be alone when she does.

  Callum moves awkwardly toward the makeshift medical table and starts to collect my supplies, probably just trying to busy himself with nothing else to say. “Leave them,” I tell him without taking my eyes off Penny. “I might need them again. And you should still get that emergency pill. I didn’t see any signs of semen, but it’s better to be safe.” I hear a despondent sigh. It’s a strange sound from such a big man.

  “Izzy,” he starts, the sound of his feet approaching. “No one—”

  The door swings open, and I lift my head to find Theo looking no less stressed than when I left him downstairs with the aftermath of my filthy look. “How is she?” he asks.

  “Alive,” I spit curtly.

  “I’ll leave you two to it.” Callum is out of the room like a shot, wanting to avoid the wretched atmosphere. I watch his back disappear and the door close behind him, and then return my attention to Penny.

  “Izzy, I never—” Theo starts.

  “Don’t,” I cut him off, not looking at him. “Don’t tell me how bad you feel, Theo. This place is supposed to be safe. She was supposed to be safe. The poor woman has been through enough.”

  “No one has ever crossed the line here, Izzy. No one has dared.”

  “Who dares now?” I ask, shifting my blank eyes across to him. “Who dares to come into Theo Kane’s club and do this?” My hand shoots out toward an unconscious Penny.

  “I won’t rest until I find out.” His nostrils flare, the danger I know he’s capable of flashing in his cobalt eyes.

  “The man in the alley,” I begin.

  “He’s on remand.”

  “You can be sure of that?”

  “Andy’s checking.”

  “I’ll take that as a no.”

  His big shoulders drop, and his gaze falls to the floor. Guilt is consuming him, yet I can’t find the graciousness to even try to ease him. It doesn’t matter that my attempts would be in vain. He blames himself, and with a lack of anyone else to blame at the moment, I can’t help but blame him, too.

  “She should be in a hospital,” I mutter, knowing I’m wasting my breath. “And the police should be called.”

  “I can’t draw attention to my club, Izzy. Andy’s on my side, but there are powers above him.”

  “I know,” I grate, his words only building my anger. “God forbid the police turn up. God forbid you’re arrested and thrown in jail.”

  The noise that emanates from his direction is a combination of a growl and a sigh, followed by the sound of his feet thumping the floor as he comes to me. He’s in my field of vision a second later, on his knees. “Don’t shut me out,” he pleads, taking my hand and placing it on his chest, a silent reminder of what’s etched on his skin beneath his creased shirt. “I can stand a lot, repel it all, but I can’t bear the thought of you hating me. Don’t hate me, Izzy.” His pain-filled face dents my anger a little, our stares holding. “I will get retribution. I won’t let whoever did this to her get away with it.”

  “How?” I ask flatly. “Gunshot? Beating? Breaking a few bones?”

  His blazing eyes tell me that’s exactly what he has in mind, just as I feared. “Whoever it is needs to pay.”

  �
��And how the hell will that help Penny?” I shout.

  He winces at the volume of my voice, closing his eyes and spending a few moments breathing some calm into his lungs. “I try to do the right thing,” he says, an edge of pleading in his tone. Pleading for me to understand. “I hand scumbags over to the police rather than give them what they deserve.”

  “You hand them over to the police as bait, Theo. Give the police what they want to keep them off your back.” I look away from him and rest back in the chair. “Don’t tell me it’s completely selfless.”

  His exhale is loud and tired. “Izzy, baby, come to bed with me. Let me hold you.”

  “I need to watch Penny. She might wake and be sick or disoriented. She shouldn’t be alone.”

  “Then I’ll have one of the girls come and sit with her.”

  “Do they have any medical knowledge?” I ask, looking at him. “Do they know how to monitor pulse rates and recognize the signs of deterioration?”

  Theo looks across to Penny, his jaw pulsing. “No.”

  “Then I’m not about to hand over her care to a stripper just because you need a cuddle.” The spite in me comes steaming to the surface, unstoppable and full of the hatred I’m feeling. “I’ll stay here.” I pull my hand from his and shift in my chair, turning as far away from him as I can.

  He’s stung. It’s apparent in the slight withdrawal of his big body and the hurt inhale. There’s silence for a few moments, but I can practically hear his mind racing. And then he lets his thoughts spill. “Why do I get the feeling that there’s more to your anger than what’s happened to Penny, Izzy?”

  “Don’t.” I refuse to look at him, as if hiding my eyes can keep the secrets of my past from him. “Don’t turn this around.”

  “Right,” he breathes, his voice shaky as he rises to his feet. “I get it. Keep your secrets.”

  “As you keep yours.”

  Theo curses under his breath, walking away from me, defeated. Not stopping him from leaving takes everything out of me. I don’t relish the sight or sound of him in despair, and, really, it’s my own despair that’s fueling it. My reasons for being angry. My past dictating how I handle this. But Theo’s a big man. He can look after himself, as demonstrated on more than one occasion. Penny can’t. She needs me.