The Beginning of Never

by O. E. Boroni

  Asshole! I cursed, and continued walking, stumbling a few times on stumps from not paying attention. Soon I had calmed down enough to start looking out for the stumps, as well as where the hell I was heading. A few minutes later, the path, I now realized, didn’t seem as familiar as I had previously thought. I should have taken a left by now, but I hadn't. And I shouldn't have been approaching muddy ground, but I was.

  Fear started to slowly creep into my heart, especially since the sky seemed to be getting darker by the second. As I walked along the muddy area, I had to cling to the trees by the side to avoid stepping in it but still, one of my legs got stuck. I tried pulling it out, but it became so messy that I finally just had to slip my feet out of the shoe.

  Wondering how I was going to continue the rest of the journey with just my pantyhose, I bent down to retrieve it. But just then, I heard a snapping sound from the tree above me, along with a loud rustle of leaves. With a shriek very close to a scream, I took off in the opposite direction without my shoe, and refused to look back.

  I eventually slowed down when I figured that my hurried steps would probably attract grumpy animals whose peace I was possibly disturbing, and the last thing I needed was any more misfortune. Ahead of me was a small clearing that kept the greenery a healthy distance away, so when I reached it, I sat down in the middle and thought about how I was going to find my way back.

  I should have listened to him, I thought. I really should have, but now was not the time for regrets. I didn’t know what next to do so I sat there for countless minutes, and kept my eyes glued to my surroundings so that I would be able to pick up on any unusual movements, and follow any unacceptable sounds. My neck moved around quite a lot as it hurried from one point to another, until eventually, I was too tired to remain sitting up.

  So I laid down, but on my back so that I could still monitor my surroundings from both sides, and as well as up. Snakes could still fall down from the trees or crawl towards me, and frankly, they were my biggest fear. I hated them more than anything in the entire world.

  As I waited and watched, the minutes seemed to drag on until I began to literally shake with fear.

  What’s going to happen to me? I wondered.

  Out of despair I sat up, and with my arms hugging my knees, continued watching all the available paths, hoping that somehow, Nathan hadn't left or that even if he had, he would be concerned enough to notice that I hadn’t yet returned.

  But oh, how I prayed that he would notice immediately and not in another ten minutes from now, or an hour, or God forbid, the next day. Thankfully, the darkness had been temporarily chased away in this part of the forest so I could see, despite the canopies, a quite healthy and jubilant sky.

  Suddenly I heard rustling, and with my heart in my throat, turned to search for its source. It was coming from my right and sounded as though it was heading towards me, so I rose to my feet, ready to take off if need be.

  I hoped with all my heart that it was Nathan, so the moment I saw him coming towards me, my heart dropped into my stomach.

  Tears gathered in my eyes as I watched him, feeling so relieved that my knees felt like they would give out. I wanted to cry, or at least throw myself against him in a hug, but I chose to stay where I was and waited until he reached me. When I saw that he had my shoe in his hand, the tears rolled down my cheeks. Turning away, I quickly brushed them away before I turned back to face him. I avoided his eyes, but then wanted to say something when I saw that he wasn’t going to.

  "How did you find me?" I asked, but he didn’t respond. Instead, he just dropped down on one knee, and placed his hand on my left leg. With a damp handkerchief that he had in his other hand, he gently wiped off as much of the mud as he could from the feet of my pantyhose, and then slipped the clean shoe back on. It was a little damp but at that moment, that was the last thing on my mind. Taking my hand off his shoulder, I quickly wiped away another tear as it fell, just before he rose to meet my gaze.

  "Are you ready to go?" he asked, and at that moment, I didn’t care that I had lost. So with all my heart, I nodded a definite yes.

  There was no talking as we headed back, and even when we reached the intersection that led to our different houses, he didn’t say goodbye. He just headed off towards his own direction, while I went the opposite way towards mine.

  « CHAPTER 8 »

  Three days later, I had come to a conclusion. It was Friday, and the assignment that had given so much grief in so many ways was done, but I was aggravated.

  With time to mull over the ordeals of that day, I had somehow managed to skip over the shock of all that had happened and to only focus on the fact that I had been subtly mocked- Nathan had let me stew in my fright for an entire hour, before coming to my aid.

  It shouldn’t have mattered, I knew, but given the terror that I had experienced in those moments when I was lost, it was more than enough to conclude and be irritated by the fact that the boy was completely evil. This was precisely why I needed to run into him again, so I could tell him just that, and a couple more things I was sure would come up when I came face to face with his pompous self.

  Loud angry voices that currently rocked my floor had pulled me out of a much needed nap, so as I angrily pulled on my house t-shirt and a pair of shorts, I thought of how I was in the perfect state of mind to be completely enraged with him. But that would be if I ever saw him again. In the three days that had passed, there had been no trace of him.

  The corridor seemed to quiet down as I locked my wardrobe and headed down towards the dining hall. One would have thought that after almost three years at L.A., I would’ve found a fixed seat for my meals, but I hadn’t. I’d sat with Kate a few times, but her table was always too noisy and I needed some element of quiet as I ate. And since I didn’t keep any other ‘friends’, I was forced every time I came in, to browse through the myriads of people, just so that I could find a seat that had not already been taken or reserved, and was at the end of the wooden benches.

  I doubted I would have any luck since I was late, so when I arrived at the hall, I stopped at the front of its majestic oak door and just stared. It was twice my ‘5 ft. 8’ height, and had square wooden-framed windows, stacked upon it, and all the way up to meet a huge stone archway. I was thinking of what I was going to do because as soon as you entered, most eyes turned on you, and you had to know where you were headed otherwise you appeared pathetic and lonely.

  As others continued to stroll past me, laughter and idle chatter ringing in the air, I reminded myself that I didn’t care about such things. I shouldn’t care, I reemphasized, so after a deep breath, I walked in to meet the gigantic hall packed with rows upon rows of innately carved wooden benches, and tables filled with students all happier than I was.

  No one seemed to have thought it reasonable to miss Friday dinner, so the entire 1,900 students of the school were present and babbling, each one trying to be heard over the next. Resisting the urge to cover my ears with my hands, I stood to the side of the door and focused on the still pressing problem of where I was going to sit.

  I took a quick look around, praying to find a direction that I could quickly escape to. However, after a few minutes had passed and I found myself still standing there, I lost hope. I was about to turn around to leave when a swinging arm high in the air, caught my attention.

  Upon closer inspection, I realized that it was James- Nathan’s cousin, and instantly, I breathed easier. I was sure he was calling out to me, so before my mind could convince me otherwise, I headed over to his table. His was at the extreme end to the right, and about two tables from the first. I reached it and to my relief, he moved further down the bench so that I could take a seat on the edge. I was more than grateful.

  “Hi,” he greeted with a bright smile, but was still so shy that his eyes were barely able to hold mine for more than two seconds. It amused me enough to temporarily forget that I was upset, and I returned the greeting with a genuine smile of my own. But the sight I
met as I turned from him, instantly wiped the cheer away from my face.

  Nathan was sitting directly across from us.

  He had a book on the table and was reading, his head casually balanced against his palm. I was stunned enough to keep my gaze on him for at least ten seconds, but when he suddenly moved to turn a page, I darted my gaze away.

  It landed on the couple beside him, a curly blonde and an Asian boy, their faces a little too close together for comfort. But absent-mindedly, I left my gaze on them, still reeling from the shock of seeing Nathan, until their lips met and they started kissing. It took me a few more seconds to realize what was happening and when I did, I moved my eyes away, a deep frown carved into my forehead.

  Laughter from my side drew me to see two other boys beside James chatting away, but when I took my eyes away from them, Nathan’s eyes caught mine.

  “Are you alright?” James asked right then, and I was more than glad for the save. I turned to him, my heart pounding in my chest.

  “I am,” I answered.

  “I wanted to apologize for what happened on Tuesday,” he said. “I had no idea that you’d left your book. I would’ve brought it to you.”

  “Its fine,” I quickly dismissed, and looked down to the hands I didn’t realize I had been wringing. I untangled them, and took a deep breath. I wanted to get out of there.

  My gaze drifted to Nathan again, but thankfully, his attention was back on his book. Earphones were plugged into his ears, and to an extent, I was glad that he wasn’t listening to James and I.

  “Do you live in the UK?” James asked.

  I shook my head. “No, the US,” I said. I thought it was quite obvious but he was probably trying to fill up the silence so I didn’t mind.

  “Oh,” he said. “No wonder your accent’s all messed up.”

  I smiled.

  “So, how did you end up here?”

  “Long story,” I replied, as I looked towards the buffet line. It was going slower than I would have liked.

  “Alex mentioned that you two met earlier,” he said, and that instantly caught my attention.

  He talked about me? I thought, and my entire body tingled with excitement. I turned to face James but only realized moments later that my eyes had been boring into his, willing him to say more. I looked away from his confused expression and back to the buffet line to hide my shame.

  “Another long story,” I said, and thankfully, that severed our communication enough to get myself under control.

  What’s wrong with me? I wondered. Right now, I was sitting with my hands underneath the table to hide the fact that I couldn’t stop wringing them, and was even consciously trying to control my breathing, afraid that it would be too loud and that Nathan would notice. What was happening to the hardened girl I had cultivated for close to three years?

  Soon, it was our turn to head to the buffet counter, so I instantly got up to escape and James followed. Yet somehow, I managed to end up with Nathan beside me as we went through the steaming hot plates of spaghetti and tomato sauce. Acting for all the world like the food I had now lost interest in held my complete attention, I tried not to notice that I literally trembled from my awareness of the unbelievably attractive boy that stood to my left. His earphones were still plugged into his ears, so at least he wasn’t able to hear the pounding of my heart, which in my opinion, should have been loud enough to be heard across the noisy hall.

  I wondered where the rage I’d worked up over the last two days to pour on him had gone to. Now he was standing right beside me, and I had all but forgotten my name, including, I realized, the tomato sauce that would go with my spaghetti.

  Without thinking, I turned to retrace my steps, but instead stopped when my disconcerted grey eyes met his cold blue ones. Something cool, yet warm at the same time, slithered down my spine.

  “Do you want something?” he asked, but I had already spun right back from the embarrassment. It was several moments later before I realized that I hadn’t even answered him.

  “No it’s fine,” I said without looking back, hoping he would catch it. Grabbing a piece of bread, I gave up on my dinner altogether and returned to my seat. I was angrily tearing at it, disappointed in myself, and intending to eat as fast as I could so that I could get the hell out of there, when a small bowl of tomato sauce and meatballs was placed in front of me. Surprised, I looked up, but Nathan had already turned to leave. I watched him return to the counter to pick up his plate, and continue with his serving.

  What is wrong with you? I cried to myself, so distraught by my actions that I felt an almost desperate need to escape, and hide until I managed to regain the lick of sense that I had somehow lost during the course of the evening.

  Looking down at the bowl of sauce, I considered ignoring it so that I could save my pride and insist if he asked, that I had actually planned on eating the spaghetti on its own. That, I realized, would be even more idiotic, so I just took what I needed from it and started eating.

  The rest of the table soon returned, and we were all quietly going through our meals when the racket started. It began with increased tones around the middle of the hall but at first, everyone ignored it.

  “So,” James started, “I really want to hear the story of how you two met.”

  I stopped and rolled my eyes. “James …” I complained but he rushed to explain himself.

  “It’s just that when he mentioned you broke a tray on his back, I’ve just been so intrigued. And he’s refused to tell me any –”

  “Wait, he said I broke a tray on his back?”

  “Yeah. Isn’t he right?”

  “No! … I mean yes, but he pushed me to the floor.”

  Without thinking, I reached forward and tapped Nathan’s arm. He looked up at me and took the earphones out of his ears.

  “You told James I broke a tray on your back?”

  He kept his eyes on me, and then moved them to James before bringing them back to me again, unhurriedly, like he had all the time in the world. I told myself to bring my temper down a notch.

  “Didn’t you?” he asked, and my mouth fell open.

  “How can you say that? You pushed me to the floor,” I accused. He straightened, an eyebrow slightly arched.

  “Excuse me?” he said, and my mouth snapped shut. Embarrassed at how intimidated I felt, I lowered my head in annoyance and returned to my food.

  To my surprise, he reached across the table and put his fingers on mine. My eyes widened, both at the contact and at the coldness of his fingers, but as soon as he pulled them away, my fingers burned with a sweet warmth.

  “I bumped into you,” he said. “And I apologized.”

  The fight had gone out of me, and I wondered why I was even bothering when my mouth opened to reply to him.

  “You ruined my lunch,” I accused, and I tried to add a little harshness to my tone but it sounded as if I was flirting with him. I cleared my throat.

  “And I replaced it,” he said. I found my temper again, but it was barely flickering; the flame had gone out.

  “Still, you can’t just go around saying that I broke a tray on your back. It makes me sound like I’m crazy.”

  James chuckled then, and the sound gave me the distraction I so desperately needed. I turned to frown at him and he reigned in the smile, but when I returned to Nathan, he had plugged in his earphones and was eating again. I thought to tap his arm, but I had absolutely nothing left to say so I just returned to my meal too. James however, wasn’t done.

  “I just knew there had to be an interesting story behind it,” he said, the loud crunching sound he made as he chewed on what I assumed had to be metal nuts for it to be that loud, digging into my eardrums like tiny needles. “You’re the only girl I’ve seen him actually relate to, and you didn’t chase him down. At least I hope you didn’t – you did pretend not to know him the first time we met.”

  I shoved his elbow and he laughed. “Shut up,” I said, worried that Nathan would overhear. �
�Why would I chase him down?”

  “Oh you haven’t heard?” he said. “I don’t blame you. I didn’t believe the craze over him either until Valentine’s Day earlier this year. His room was filled with gifts from apparently every girl in school. A lot of guys developed a grudge for him that day.”

  I smiled despite myself. “Are you serious?”

  “I should be asking you that,” he said. “Why is this news to you? Everyone knew about it.”

  “Well I didn’t,” I said, and his surprise dissipated. He popped another handful of roasted almonds into his mouth. I cringed when he started chewing and returned to my food.

  “He’s called the Italian bong,” he said in a voice just above a whisper, and instantly, it pulled a laugh out of me. I couldn’t help it.

  “What the hell does that mean?” I asked as I struggled to keep my amusement under control.

  “I have no idea,” James said “And he’s not even Italian!”

  From the corner of my eye, I saw Nathan look up. He asked James what was going on.

  “Lenora just learned of your nickname,” he said, and I turned just in time to see Nathan frown at James before he returned to his meal. The fact that he didn’t even look at me quickly killed my smile.

  “Anyway, so far, you’re the closest thing to a friend he has so –”

  I interrupted, “Trust me, we’re not friends.”

  “Trust me, you’ve come farther than most.”

  “I wasn’t looking to come anywhere.”

  With a smile he nodded, and returned to his meal.

  A few moments later, the racket that had been slowly rising over the last few minutes erupted, and we all looked up to see two girls towards the middle of the hall on their feet and at opposite sides of the table, yelling at each other. Everyone else was of course interested, so all eyes had turned to them. I saw two teachers get up from their respective corners of the room and start to approach them, but they weren’t quick enough.

  The insults came next – which I couldn’t hear clearly above the noise – punctuated by cheers of encouragement, especially from the boys. I returned to my meal, uninterested in the drama until all of a sudden, the gasping sound of almost two thousand people brought my head back up.